Stressed, Depressed, But Trying My Best

Why do men always gaslight? Why are men hypocrites? Why are men incapable of being nice to their partners? Why do men always have to be right? Why do men tell their partners to stop calling them out on toxic behavior instead of just fixing it and moving on?

im drained to the point where i don’t want to miss someone or have them miss me i just want to be alone.

I hate being here. Every day I wake up and I feel like all I do is try to do things to “cope” or feel happy. I’m lucky I at least have the energy to try, and sometimes it works, sometimes I get distracted enough from how horrible everything is around me. I’m drained. There are times where I’m just begging to be alone in my own space and other times where the quietness from being alone gets too loud and causes me to overthink. What’s my purpose? What am I doing here? Do I really want to do all of this work for that result? Is that the desired result or just a planned result I told myself so I could feel some comfort in at least HAVING a planned out result rather than having none? And with my rights at stake every election, why would I even want to live in this world? I have almost no reason to stay alive but for other people and enjoying the little things as long as I can.

It’s like I can’t vent anymore

I need you more than I need myself. I can’t do this without you. I need to fix this. I’m so sorry it got to this point. I wish we could go back. I wish I could relive all the memories over and over again. I want those cold chills again when you make me feel good about myself. I want the butterflies again when I was scared to tell you my feelings for you. I want the butterflies of every time I saw you for the first time each day. I want the comfort of you laying on top of me keeping me safe. I want your warm hugs again. I want your angelic touch again. I always felt safe spending time with you. You’re my home. You’re my safe space, you bring me peace and comfort. I’m so sorry for everything. I’ll never take it for granted again. You’re the love of my life and I will do anything to be in your arms again giving you the world. I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize. I know it’ll take time to forgive me, just know I forgive you for everything and I put it all behind me. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, the best person to ever walk into my life. I need you in my life forever. You’re my soulmate and I’ll always love you no matter what. Thank you for giving me a reason to live. I love you.🫶

I wish I could fix it, I wish things could go back to the way they were but it can’t and it hurts a lot

FUCK EVERYTHING

Anyone else ever feel like everyone just simply tolerates you nicely but in reality doesn’t like you? Yeah I feel like that all the time. I’m real tired of feeling like I have no one. I don’t know who’s real and who’s not and the overthinking is getting to me. 💔

I just want to fit in, or at least feel like the people I consider my friends, consider it to me back. I want to talk to a friend and not feel like I’m bothering them. I want to talk to someone I hope thinks I’m also their friend, and I don’t want them to think I’m just that one annoying kid in their class. I just want to feel the love and care that is truly out there for me.

I don’t understand myself or my feelings. What’s wrong with me? I don’t want to hurt others because of my mistakes.😞

I can’t live anymore. I deserve better from people but I’m never going to get it, so I accept death.

Is there any way I can die without pain? Actually nevermind, I deserve the pain.