It’s Exposition, It Has To Go Somewhere...

You set your back to the door as Natasha, Wanda and Bucky made their way back down the path. You wanted to peek, see if they looked back, if Bucky had loitered but you couldn't. You slid to the floor and sat there until your ass was numb and your nose told you they'd long gone.

What had you done? Telling Natasha to share your life story with Steve like that? You pull at your presentations but they all seem as numb as you do.

The night gets darker and as your annoyance with yourself grows, you head upstairs using your magic to lock the doors and to summon Fiona's wine. You gulp it down and then throw yourself onto the bed, still fully dressed, with the alcohol sending you to sleep almost immediately.

You dream of Agatha. Her words to you during the fight. She's in your ear, her whispers venomous.

You still have that sickening need to be wanted but no one ever wants you Omega and nobody ever will. See, you’re weak and you know Omega, you know that I’m right. They’ll never want you, not truly. Their pack will never accept you. Your second chance isn’t coming.

She's chased off by a golden wolf. When he trots back into your dreams, he nuzzles into you and guards you like you're something precious.

Alpha?

You wake with a jump, hot, sweaty and still in yesterday's clothes. There's a pull of the witch wound. It takes you a minute but when it pulls again, you know it's Fiona. You roll your eyes when you hear your phone buzzing from somewhere in the house. You put out your hand palm up and summon it to come to you, your head feeling too much like cottonwool to move.

There's half a dozen calls missed calls from Frank.

Shit, you think when you realise you never called him back.

A message from Fiona.

Stop wallowing in self pity and pull yourself together.

You call Frank back and put it on speaker as you start to change the bedsheets that are damp from your sweat. He answers before the first ring has even finished.

"I'm pissed."

"I know Frankie, I'm sorry."

"I asked you to call me back. I was worried."

"I'm sorry Frankie, Natasha brought wine and we got talking."

"You remember I warned you about her, at how manipulative she can be?"

"I know, but I might have used it to my favour."

"Go on."

"I told her everything and asked her to tell Steve."

"Baby."

"Please don't start with a lecture Frank."

"I'm not." He told you, leading you to huff in response. "I swear baby I'm not, but do you think you should have told him yourself?"

"I can't." You tell him, swallowing hard. "I've been thinking about it since I met him. I just can't Frank."

Hearing the emotion in your voice, Frank doesn't push further. He asks what you've told Natasha and her reaction, and he feels reassured that she gave you her word before agreeing, and that she struggled not to howl, clearly showing her concern, upset and connection to you.

"So you're just meant to wait around to see if he shows?"

"Pretty much."

"Look Y/N, I know I've said this already but I'm going to say it again. We may not have always seen eye to eye but he's one of the good ones, and I meant what I said. If he does reject you or he doesn't show tonight, you call me. I'll come get you."

"Thank you Frankie."

You say your goodbyes, and when you hang up you're met with another message from Fiona.

Clean yourself up and getting your preening done, Nan says you look like shit and might have a visitor later.

Tell her to knock it off. I know she means well, but she doesn't need to spy on me. I'm fine.

Of course you are.

You know they're right and even though it's annoying to admit it, you let out a huff, open a window to let in some fresh air and have an everything shower. You're still annoyed that you've admitted they were right by your actions when you pull on your clothes. You opt for a pair of leggings and an oversized sweater. You practically feel your omega and white wolf huff and roll their eyes at you.

Will alpha like this outfit when he comes to see us?

"We're going to see Storm and the baby, not Alpha." You say aloud.

You grab you bag and decide to take your car over your broom. As you lock the door you pick up Clint's scent and see him jog up the path that you've seen them all coming and going from.

"Hey." He calls out to you. "Everything okay?"

"Hi Clint." He pauses at the cottage gate and you see his hand hesitate as to open it or not. "I'm not going to throw you back over the fence if you come through the gate Clint."

He smiles and comes through.

"Where are you headed?" He asks.

"Somewhere to get Storm and the pack some sweet treats and then over to see them."

He nods and you see him glance into your car.

"I'm not leaving if that's what your worried about."

He smiles and shakes his head.

"Your intuitions damn good, I'll give you that." You let out a huff of laughter in response. "Do you want one of us to come with you?"

"No, I'm good, and I'm not sure Logan would be a fan of an outsider tailing after me when I'm there to see his mate and their new baby."

Clint nods in understanding. He asks to give you his number in case you need anything and you hand him your phone. He lets you know he's added Laura's too and you make small talk before you leave and head into town.

A little later when you wander up the path of the X Pack's house. Storm has lowered the shield, but you feel an enchantment by Jean over the doors and windows. Even though you're godmother to their child and a seasoned guest, you knock. Scott swings the door open quickly.

"Good morning Luna Rogers."

"Don't start Summers."

There's movement at the top of the grand looking stairs and you hear Jean's firm voice.

"Beta. Do I need to remind you of our conversation?"

"No, of course not." He replies, before shutting the door and shuffling away.

Jean nudges her head for you to head upstairs.

"What was that all about?" You ask when you reach her.

"He's been trying to find out what's going on between you and Rogers."

"There's nothing going on." You reply.

"Isn't there?" Storm asks appearing in the doorway to their bedroom, with her son in her arms.

"it's complicated."

You follow her into the room and exchange the baby in her arms for your bags of baked goods and spend the next ten minutes cooing and talking to the baby.

"Y/N," Jean starts to tell you, "you know we don't have any issue with you bring with Rogers don't you?" You shrug in reply. "If we did, we wouldn't have been okay with you staying in their compound."

"But Logan and Steve, after the woods...." You reply, before Jean cuts you off.

"That's behind us." She tells you.

When you glance at Storm she shrugs. As she bites another piece of cake, her mouth half full she turns to Jean.

"You should tell her about Scott and Barnes." She tells her.

"What about Scott and Barnes?" You reply quickly.

"Oh that woke you up." Storm smirks.

"Scott's been pushing Bucky, trying to find out what's been going on. Accused him of keeping things from us, like with the rogues and Pietro."

"I thought you said that was behind you."

"Scott's being Scott. He's being the Beta and you know he's trying to get arise out of you all. Stir the pot, he's always been the same, and if I'm honest we have all wondered. The rest of us are being respectful and waiting for you to tell us."

"So you're okay with him causing issues with my possible pack and upsetting my beta? There's nothing to tell, we've barely spoken and I've not even really seen him since the day you had the baby. I've spoken to Natasha. It's in her hands now."

"What do you mean?" Storm asks between bites.

"I've told her everything."

"Everything?" She asks, sitting up a little straighter.

"Everything. If he wants to see me, to be with me and he doesn't want to reject me, he's apparently going to come tonight for supper, and if he wants to reject me...."

"He won't do that." Jean interrupts you firmly. Your eyes meet and you see how serious she is.

"Well, we'll see."

"What are you wearing?" Storm says looking you up and down.

"Excuse me?"

"Please tell me you aren't wearing that for supper?" She says pointing between your leggings and hoodie. Jean tries and fails to hold in a smile.

You spend the next few hours with them and the pack, eating lunch out in the garden and getting as many possible cuddles from your godson as possible. At some point Storm starts to play with your hair and it's not until you see one of the other omegas is passing her hairspray that you realise she's been fixing your hair. She passes you a mirror and you see she's fixed it into a sexy messy bun, with strands that frame your face. It's not often that you think you look pretty but you feel a rush of confidence as your reflection looks back at you, and your omega flicks her tail smugly.

Alpha can see where to mark us with our hair up.

When you get back to the cottage Storm's words play on your mind, and you root through your clean laundry looking for an item of clothing that when you'd last wore it, Frank had been forced to distract Billy, so you could change out of it and stop him bothering you.

As you pulled it on, you remembered why. A black lycra jumpsuit that hugged you in all the right places. The way it lifted and ruched around your ass has caused Elektra to slap it hard as you'd passed by. Frank wasn't happy about that either.

Alphas like this your white wolf told you, as your omega started to roll around on the floor as you took in your appearance in the mirror. Even though you felt okay with how you looked, a reminder the scars on your back as you turned to appraise yourself led to you pulling on a soft slouchy cardigan.

As the clock grows nearer to seven, you begin to pace and Agatha's words from your dream move through your mind. Before they have chance to take a hold of you there's a warm pull through the witch wound. It's full of love, so much so that it brings tears to your eyes.

A flurry of scents suddenly wash up your nose. You turn and look at the clock on the wall.

6.50pm.

One scent stands out over them all.

Your alpha's.

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Some people think that omegas are stupid. Ditzy and vulnerable, were often how they were described and even with some being streetwise roamers, they were still seen to be a weaker presentation. 

But omegas have a way of reading people, especially alphas. Albeit a former spy or soldier, Natasha wasn’t completely unreadable, you knew Natasha was here to pry and to try and move things along. The warning from the others had confirmed it. 

So you played it to your benefit, with the cunningness of your white wolf taking the lead to benefit all sides of you but especially the vulnerable omega side. You realised as you shared your past with Natasha that having a similar conversation with Steve would be something you’d struggle with. As strong as you were now, a flick of rejection from your alpha would make you spiral. You remembered how being rejected had felt before. When the pain and delirium were at their worst and ripping through your body. You decide in the moment that Natasha asked questions that you’d take the easy way out and let her do the storytelling. She did love a long story after all. 

“What she said about me being a mistake has always been the truth. She got herself into a situation that she shouldn’t have and ended up with me as a result.”

“What kind of situation?”

“She had an affair.”

“Fuck.”

“Yep. She denied it but her mate, her first husband, he felt everything. She tried to say it was just her on her own, that her heat was coming and that she was thinking of him but then she ended up with me. He knew from her pregnant scent that I wasn’t his. They already had three other kids, and had agreed there wouldn’t be anymore. He’d been taking precautions. She lied again and said these things can happen, they aren’t foolproof. He found out her childhood sweetheart had been in town and paid her a visit, she slipped up.”

“He couldn’t forgive her?”

“Would you?”

“No, probably not.”

“Nor would I. My brother told me a few years ago, I think it was the last time I had Christmas with them, that she’d almost talked him around. He loved being a father, and apparently I was a cute baby.” 

“I can see that.” Natasha says warmly.

“Then my sister told him I had magic, and my hair started to show flicks of white. It would be glaringly obvious to anyone I wasn’t his. My brother said he really tried to see passed it so I could be raised with them, even though they were teenagers by then, and because deep down he still loved her, and then he saw my darling mother with another man.” 

“Your father?”

“Nope.”

“Did he challenge the other guy?”

“Nope. He was done. Walked away. He’s a proper descent man too, but she’d humiliated him over and over. Even down to that moment, she’d left me with a friend and said she was working, that she had to get a job because he’d thrown her out. That man she was with would become my stepfather.”

“What’s he like?” 

You paused and swallowed hard, a lump forming in your throat. You honestly don’t know where to start. You decide to show her instead. You place down your wine on the coffee table and turn around so your back is to her, as you perch on the edge of the sofa. You lift your loose fitting T-shirt over your head, leaving yourself in the back bralette you’re wearing underneath. You bare your scars to her, the physical ones at least, out in the open to her. Lines of scarring litter your back and zig zagging across it. 

You don’t expect Natasha’s gasp. Hardened by the frontline you expect her to have seen a lot of things, but it doesn’t stop the gasp or the growl that follows it. 

“He did this?”

You nod and pull your T-shirt back on, turning back to her.

“That’s the type of man he is.”

“Did your mom know?”

You nod again.

“She’s not innocent in some of this either. Even before he was around permanently she would do things, leave me for long periods of time on my own, be neglectful. When one of the neighbours heard me crying again, her and my mum got into an argument and that was when we moved. We moved to the government housing for single mothers and low income families. He moved in soon after.”

“Is that where you met the pack you were part off?”

You nod. 

“They were part of the private housing, next to ours. Mum tried to keep a low profile but then he lashed out at me for not bringing him a beer quick enough. I ran and as he tried to drag me back Luna Diana found me.” You paused for a moment. “Luna Diana tried to help me over and over again, she’d make sure I had at least two hot meals and a bath each week. Mum said….”

You paused again as a tear slipped down your cheek. Natasha moved closer and squeezed your arm.

“She said the other day that Diana offered to take me. Mum said no because she got more money for me. What kind of mother is that?” You sniffed.

“A shitty one.”

“Alpha David, a few years ago he got sick. I went back to help. He told me he never got rid of the guilt for not helping me more, but I wasn’t part of their pack. There were limits to what they could do. Mum was always a flight risk. They thought she’d bolt and take me with her. Obviously I know now that was for the money, not because she wanted me.”

“What about your other family? Your siblings? Why didn’t they help?”

“Mums a very good storyteller. She’d say I was clumsy or when the people figured out I had magic, she’d blame that. My siblings were teenagers when she had me. They didn’t pay attention until it was too late.”

“Luna, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for. It set me on this path for a reason, I think.”

“Steve? Is he the reason?”

“I’m not sure. Him or Agatha.”

“Maybe the goddesses gave you Steve as thank you for dealing with Agatha.”

You shrugged.

“But then that wouldn’t explain why you smelt like home to me that night in the words.” You tell her.

“Fate needed you at Queensborough.” You hummed in agreement, before she continued. “Steve’s still going to want you.”

“I’m not done with my long story.”

You go on to tell her how your stepfather dipped in and out of the house and your lives. How although you were terrified of him you started to defend yourself. When his friend took an odd interest in you, you tipped the table and scolded them with hot coffee. He locked you under the stairs, so you shook the house. You’d run away and they’d lock you in your room, so you’d cause a storm. He’d beat the shit out of you everytime. But you also had very little control over the magic and it would slip out by accident. Your school got funding for a witch teacher but your mother wouldn’t sign the permission slip. Diana sought guidance from the nearest coven, who offered lessons and gave you a wand to help you channel your magic. Your stepfather snapped the wand and put it in the bin. The pack didn’t see you for a month after that. Your childhood was full of bruises, bullying and darkness. The only light Luna Diana and the pack.

“Then I turned eighteen and presented as an omega. They locked me in the house and left. Diana and the pack aunts got in and took care of me through the heat. It was a New Moon and my magic was erratic and I struggled to control the change into wolf. My hair went from flicks of white and grey to completely white practically overnight. By the time the heat was over I was an omega, and a white wolf. They sit with my witch.”

“They aren’t merged?”

“No.”

“Was that when you became part of the pack? When you presented?”

You nodded.

“I was working a couple of jobs by then and I had enough to rent somewhere. The pack and neighbours helped me find furniture and gave me a few things and I honestly thought, this is it, things are better, this is the start of something. I had a good six months and then that happened.” You said, pointing at your back. 

“How’d it happen if you weren’t living with your mom then?”

“She got sick. I still kept my distance to begin with, sent care packages or left them on her doorstep, and then one of my brothers came to the door. Mum’s favourite. Said it was bad and that I needed to step up.” Natasha lets out a huff and shakes her head. “I was an unpracticed witch what could I do? I was doing house and mate blessings, I didn’t know about helping someone that was sick. It played on my mind and my omega kept pulling, so I did the research and when I was trying to decide what to do my brother called again. My stepdad had left her. Packed his shit and gone, so I went to see her. She wasn’t well but she wasn’t as bad as my brother had said. It was around then I realised I could tell when someone’s lying, it took a while but the wolf and witch can spot it. She was sick but she wasn’t as bad as she’d pretended to be. I should have know then there was an issue but I still wanted her, or someone, at least to be my mother. I clung to the fact that things would change with him gone. I went back and forth from my flat to her house, and then one night she asked me to stay. She seemed nervous so I did. I just thought she was unsettled from being ill and my stepdad being gone. I slept in my old room and I woke up to being hit.”

“Your stepfather?”

You nodded in reply.

“Your wolf didn’t sense him before?”

“She’d made us a hot chocolate before bed. She’d never done it before, like ever, and for that moment I thought she’d changed, only she hadn’t. She was worse. She’d added a sedative as well as a few marshmallows. Back then my nose wasn’t what it was now so I hadn’t realised. When I came around he’d already got a few hits in. He started with a stick coated in wolfsbane and then his belt. After the second hit with the belt I threw him out the room and down the stairs. I climbed, well, more like fell from my bedroom window to get away. The pack patrol caught my scent, but I don’t remember much for about a week after.”

Natasha lets out a rumble that’s somewhere between a gruff like sound and a growl. Your eyes meet and you see a flick of a wolf like change. 

“Don’t.” You tell her firmly as she tilts her head back as if to howl. “It’s in the past.”

You know she can’t help it. If a member of the pack, particularly the Luna is in danger or needs help one of the pack will howl to alert the others. It’s almost involuntary. 

“IS IT!” She snaps back as she stands abruptly. “All of this, what they’ve done to you Luna, they can’t get away with it. It’s holding you back, stopping you being with Steve.”

You give her a moment as she begins to pace. 

“When you’re ready Natasha you should sit down. This gets worse before it gets any better.”

She paces a little more, before throwing herself down abruptly. You raise an eyebrow at her and she gestures at you to continue as looks up at ceiling. You’re not sure if her avoiding eye contact is because she’s fighting the need to howl, or that she’s angry at you or herself. 

“Once I was back on my feet, I started to work as many jobs as possible. Kept myself busy. Kept my head down, tried to stay out of the way and not cause the pack any problems. I started to read about magic and the craft. I reached out to the coven Diana knew but they’d moved, so it was a lot of self practice. Then Jacob came back from University and he brought some friends with him. Pack brothers. One of them,” you paused for a moment and took a sip of your wine, “one of them, Tom, was my true mate. I’d never even had a proper boyfriend before.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at you. 

“Anyone that had taken an interest had been chased off or growled at by Jacob or Tyler, or one of their friends. Luna Diana scared a few off herself. I was smitten. It was ridiculous really. The slightest bit of attention and all the sides of me omega, white wolf, even the witch went doe eyed.”

“What was he like?”

“It turned out he was an asshole. We found out when he rejected me what he was really like.”

“What happened?”

“He liked the idea I was untouched.”

“You were a virgin?”

“Yep. A few days before we were going to be mated he sat boasting to the other alphas. How I’d only ever have him, how untouched I was, said stuff about my body, what he was going to do, how obedient I’d be. The others reminded him I was also a witch and white wolf as well as an omega, and he said he’d have me under control. Then one of the others asked him if the scars bothered him, if he’d be put off by them when I presented to him. I hadn’t told him. Part of me thought Tyler or Jacob had, I know Diana and Daniel had given him a talking too about being mated to me. He’d never seen me with my clothes fully off, wanted to wait until we mated, said he wouldn’t be able to control himself otherwise and wanted the bond to take well.”

“He wanted to control you.”

“Yep.” You reply. “Once he knew about the scars though the idea of a perfect omega was gone. He practically broke down the door to reject me. It was right before the Full Moon, and the rejection hit me like a bus.”

“You didn’t accept it?”

“Not right away. I thought I could talk him around, explain, tell him that I thought he’d know. It was common knowledge around the pack and the neighbours about what had happened. My stepdad tried to have me arrested but the pack vouched for me and put a stop to it. I honestly thought he knew, I know I should have told him, maybe shown him, but whenever we went to take a step further or I went to take my clothes off he stopped me. I even thought he was stopping me because he didn’t want to see them. The Full Moon came and the rejection hit me harder and harder, the fever started and well, Luna Diana, said they nearly lost me. They even fetched my siblings and Mum to try and bring me round. Jacob came to see me. Tyler too, although he threw up with how rotten my scent was. Jacob held my hand for hours, talked to me. He’s a few years older so his memory of everything, of me coming into their lives, when Diana would bring me around, was much clearer than my own. He admitted to chasing off any possible boyfriends, and how guilty he felt for bringing Tom into my life. I could hear him but couldn’t answer because of how ill the rejection fever had a hold on me but then he whimpered and the three of them,” you said, tapping the side of your head, “stirred, pushed forward, more my omega than anything else.”

“Did you accept the rejection?”

“Once I’d come around a little more Tyler and the others dragged Tom in. I accepted, and he had the nerve to complain that the acceptance hurt. We found out later that he’d actually not been a hundred percent about us bonding from the start because of my witch side, but with me being so close to the Luna it inserted himself into the pack, even more so than being Jacob’s pack brother. Then the New Moon rolled around and the goddesses granted him a new mate.”

“Fucking asshole.” Natasha muttered.

“Oh and a week later I ended up in bed with Jacob.”

“WHAT!?” Natasha coughed into her wine.

“And sometimes Tyler was there too.”

Her coughing stopped and she raised her eyebrows again.

“What?”

“Maybe warn me next time!”

“What? I didn’t think you’d be a prude.”

“Oh far from it, but you told me this sad story of rejection and then in the next part you’re fucking the alpha. I don’t know whether to cry or be proud.”

“Somewhere in between maybe. Around eight months later Jacob met Lila. I didn’t think it was common knowledge we were seeing each other, but there were only so many sad looks I could take, so I left.”

“You see a lot of trouble on the road?”

You nod.

“There were odd moments that weren’t so bad.”

“Frank and Billy?”

“Now and again, but we weren’t sleeping together. I mean we slept in the same bed but nothing else.”

“You’re seriously telling me Billy Russo didn’t try to get in your pants?”

“Oh he tried. Frank put a stop to it. There was a minute, a moment, that I thought maybe we could try, that we should. When I was in hospital after Agatha I heard them talking, and as close as we were, I knew it wouldn’t happen. I think my heart broke a little more, but obviously we know why now.”

Natasha hummed in agreement. There was a comfortable silence between you as you both sat sipping the wine. 

“Are you sure you want me to tell Steve all of this?”

You nodded. 

“If he wants to reject me ask him to stay away until we can agree a day. It’ll need to be at the right point of the moon cycle so we both don’t get sick and I’ll need to arrange someone to take care of me, just in case.”

“He’s not going to reject you Luna.” Natasha told you firmly. 

“You don’t know that.”

“I know Steve well enough to make a very educated guess.”

“Exactly. A guess.”

“And I know how he feels about you already, how he’s wandering around like a kicked puppy down there.”

You huffed out a laugh. 

“Did you hear about the wood chopping?”

“I did. Fucking idiots.” 

You let out a laugh.

“And how would it have been if you’d have been around to guide them?”

“Flowers. Sweet treats. Herbs and spices. Wrapped and boxed prettily and left at the side of the shield. For a week at least, maybe two. Then the wood chopping.”

You hummed in response.

“Yeah that would have worked. Although to be fair Steve did look good chopping that wood.”

“But what they don’t realise that if they’d built your trust a little more, you’d be climbing that alpha like a tree right now.”

You snorted out a laugh. 

A few more hours passed as you and Natasha shared stories of the last few years. She had just started to tell you about the background of the constant bickering between Sam and Carol, when she paused. The scent of Wanda and Bucky swept up your nose. 

“I think your mate might be missing you.” You told her with a smirk.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at you and smirked, as she stood to leave. 

“I think your beta might be missing you too.”

You threw a pillow at her in response. You guided her to the door and she gave you a look that you couldn’t quite place. 

“You know, you told me what to tell Steve if he was to reject you but not if he wants to keep you.”

“I don’t think you’ll need to know.”

She sighs and you partly expect her to tell you off, instead she smiles. 

“If you say so Luna, but when I’m right you’ll owe me.”

“Hmmm, after the woods, I think we’ll call it even.”

“Be ready for 7 tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“Because if he wants to reject you we’ll follow your little plan, and when he doesn’t he’ll be here at 7 tomorrow with supper.”

She opened the front door and slinked out, just as Wanda and Bucky came through the gate. She stopped momentarily as her and her mate embraced. You watched them fondly before your eyes met with Bucky’s and you watched his cheeks blush as you waved at him. 

Both he and Wanda went to head towards you before Natasha guided them both away.

By the time Bucky looks back again, you’ve slipped inside.

“When you’ve done eyeing the Luna, James, go and fetch Steve. We need to talk.”

NEXT PART

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He had quickly realised that what he loved most about the bar was you. The often tired, underpaid, overworked barmaid that he’d frequently catch writing in a journal. Jim questioned you about it after the fifth time he entered the bar, he saw you with it so much that it was unusual to see you not holding it. The first day he questioned you about he remembered as you glanced over to it while drying a glass and said;

‘I want to be a writer, much to my fathers dismay. He wanted me to join Starfleet. So I gotta a job here and I’ve been saving up since to escape the clutches of this crappy bar that constantly smells like puke and vodka to hopefully write full time.’

Jim admired you from the other side of the bar. Always near you, he never strayed too far in the building.

He walked in with a big grin on his face that grew wider when he saw you sitting on a stool frantically writing. You glanced up seeing a figure getting closer to you. “Hey, Blondie.” You greeted and snapped shut your journal before placing it down. Jim let out a puff of amused air through his nose hearing his nickname that you gave him a month after he had first stepped into the bar. Three years later, you still called him that. “No Bones?” You stretched your neck to peek behind Jim.

“Not today, he’s studying.” Jim replied taking a seat and playing with a cardboard coaster, tapping it on the wooden bar.

You organised Jim’s drink “Like you should be?” You teased with your back to him and his cheeks turned a light pink- like they usually did around you. Jim then briefly recalled the first time he had brought Bones to the bar, a few months after Jim had been sauntering into the place.

“Who’s your pal, Blondie?” You asked seeing a stranger with Jim. He often came in himself. Leonard raised a brow at the strange nickname you called Kirk by.

“This is Leonard McCoy, or Bones as he’s sometimes known by. He’s training to be a CMO.” Jim explained, sitting by the bar with his friend.

“Ohh a Doctor!” You smirked and rested a hand on your hip. “Well your first drink is on the house.”

“Whisky please, darlin’.” He motioned to the bottle behind your shoulder.

“Your usual, Blondie?” Jim nodded and you placed a glass in front of Bones and another in front of Jim. Jim handed you a few crumpled notes. You kept your hand held out and Jim raised a brow at it, silently questioning why you were still holding your hand out. “Yours is fifteen.” You said.

Jim’s jaw dropped “What?!” He yelped. “It’s always six dollars fifty!”

“Yeah but we gotta compensate for your friend here with the skilled hands. Cough up.” You smirked and Jim’s lips curved into a smile. Even Leonard laughed. Jim handed you the money while shaking his head.

“I like her!” Leonard smirked.

Jim glanced up, softly smiling as you tided up the place and admiring you from afar once again. “Yeah...me too.”

You turned around with a glass in hand and you caught Jim trying to reach across to your journal. “Don’t even think about it.” You warned and Jim quickly pulled back with a sheepish grin on his face. You took the coaster off him and placed it down on the bar harshly and then placed his drink on top of it.

“Thanks,” he uttered before taking a large sip. “Why won’t you let me see what you write?” He asked, like he always did when you warned him away from your journal. He had tried to sneak a peak of your writing since he had been coming to the bar.

“Like I’ve told you before- it’s for my eyes only.” You paused. “For the moment, anyway.” You sat down across from him and rested your chin on your hand. “Tuesday shifts seem to drag in.”

“Surely not with me here?” Jim winked and you rolled your eyes, fighting the urge to smile.

“Why do you still even come here? Hell, I have to come here but if I didn’t- I would stay well away.” You lowly laughed. Jim picked up on the tiredness laced between each soft inhale of breath.

He leaned forward “Cause my favourite bartender in the whole universe is here,” he winked and you rolled your eyes again. “That and she gives me discounts.” You loudly laughed and playfully nudged his arm. Two people spilled in and you organised their drinks, telling them to take a seat and that you’d bring them over. “You’re so much kinder to other people than you are to me- your favourite and best customer.” He joked and you popped out from behind the bar with a tray in your hand.

“That’s cause you tip so badly that I’m legally allowed to be less kinder to you,” you teased. You and Kirk often threw playful remarks to each other, as well as some flirty ones. There was no denying that the blonde was handsome and each time he entered the bar, your heart jumped for joy in your chest and a volcano of butterflies would erupt in your stomach. You wondered if Jim felt the same.

He did. He really did. As the nights passed he was finding it harder not to fall for you. You’d both confessed many things to each other from either side of the bar; hopes, dreams, fears and aspirations. You both had built up a good deal of trust with one another. The only thing you never really confessed between you both was your true feelings you had for each other.

But Jim knew you always had his back- hell he’d been in enough fights inside the bar to know that. And you knew that Jim always went out his way to keep an eye out for you, walking you to your cab when you were working late and had to close up.

You were pretty much the only one running the bar most of the time. Your boss, who was also the owner, was far too busy watching tv half the time to come down and help out- or employ more people. It thankfully never really got busy enough that you’d need another set of hands. If you did, in the back of your mind, you knew Jim would help out. He had watched you prepare enough drinks to figure out what to do.

Jim had held back asking you out for so long because he didn’t want to potentially ruin what you both had, so, like you, kept his true feelings to himself. He finished off his beer and you took the glass from him, he wiggled it before you grabbed it, silently requesting another. You hesitated for a moment before looking up at him. “Uh...I’ve got another drink I think you might like. It’s a cocktail, wanna try it?”

“Sure! You know me, I’ll drink anything.” You let out a chuckle and prepared something you had been working on. He knew whatever you made would be great. You knew yourself that you were as good as a bartender as you were writer. “What is it?” Jim asked when you placed a pale yellow drink in front of him.

“I created it and came up with it myself.” You began to explain and Jim’s smile was dripping with jest.

“Wow! A mixologist now are you?” You snorted at his comment. “You’re gonna turn this bar into the Ritz if you keep making fancy ass drinks.”

You nudged his hand. “Oh don’t make me laugh! I only make up drinks because I get bored behind here.” You grabbed a water and sat across from him again.

Jim motioned to a stool beside him. “Come to this side then. You won’t be bored with me.” He sent you another one of those trademark winks and you playfully smirked.

“Anyway...” you pointed to the drink and Jim picked it up and smelled it’s sweet aroma. “I’ve named it ‘The Blondie’.” You said and Jim looked up to you in pleasant shock and surprise. Those thankful and touched blue eyes making your heart skip a beat- so much so that you had to grab a napkin to toy with between your fingers to calm yourself down. “It’s cream liqueur, a dash of bourbon, honey and almond extract. Shaken with ice but none in the glass.”

He took a long, steady sip. Jim hummed when he pulled the glass back and licked his lips, it tasted just as good as it smelled. “Just as sweet and cool as me too then?”

You sent him a amused, yet deadpanned, expression. “Too much of it will give you a headache...just like you too.” Jim sarcastically laughed. “It’s it good then?”

“It’s amazing, I’m touched that I have a drink in my name and honour.” He held his hand to his heart. “But honestly, it’s really fantastic, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Jim reached for his wallet. “Oh no! That’s on the house. I mean it. It’s experimental, plus I can’t charge the man it’s named after.”

Jim’s lip curved into a half smile and he put away his wallet. “Well, I’ll be sure to leave you a decent tip.” You nodded once and went through to the back to get more ice, trying to keep yourself busy to calm down your frantically beating heart. The two from earlier left and you cleaned up their table, grabbing the money they had left on it. Jim glanced at his watch “Closin’ time already? Time sure flys when you’re in the company of a gorgeous, talented bartender.”

You looked at him between your lashes as you put the stools up on the table. “Such a smooth talker, Blondie.” Jim hung around until you had cleaned up completely, he helped you stack the stools on the table before paying for his drinks. You jumped behind the bar to grab the keys to lock up as well as your jacket and handbag. Jim pointed to your journal that was sitting between tequila and rum. You grabbed it and you both made your way outside, your journal under your arm.

“You working tomorrow?” Jim asked.

You hesitated for a moment locking up when he asked that question before getting on with it. Jim noticed. “Why wouldn’t I be?” You casually chortled and turned around to him when the bar was locked. “Nothing special about the day. Just another Wednesday.”

Jim kept his cool pokerface. “Wednesday is special- it’s happy hour.” You laughed and walked down the alley with him, brushing arms every so often. “I was just wondering. I don’t like coming if Mojo is on.”

You rolled your eyes “You mean Milo,” you corrected with a smile. “And you don’t like it when he works cause he doesn’t give you a discount on your drinks.”

“And he can’t make ‘The Blondie’.” Jim added. “It’s my new favourite.”

You were thankful enough that it was dark enough that Jim couldn’t see your bashful grin. “Milo isn’t on this week. Just me- all day every day.”

“Oh then every hour is happy if you’re behind the bar.” He purred and you half-heartedly simultaneously laugh and groaned at his blatant attempt at flirting. “But seriously, I’m glad to know you’ll be in and not stuck in your bedroom writing and listening to your vintage record player that’s like 300 years old.”

“250 years old actually and I’m very proud of it. Fixed it up myself.” Jim nodded with a fond smile remembering the story you told him of buying a busted record player, fixing it up and then scouring for ancient vinyl records, you had a small handful already in your collection. You walked to the street in silence before finally breaking it while Jim tried to hail a cab for you. “It’s hard knowing that someone else might read it.”

“What are you talking about?” He asked, pulling his arm back in. You motioned to your journal and he clicked on. “Yeah, but you want to be a writer, people are bound to read your stuff.” He stuck his arm out again.

“I know but...those pages have little pieces of my heart spilled all over them. The thought of someone reading it makes me feel vulnerable. That journal is like the physical manifest of my soul.” You explained, the late night and company making you feel emotional.

Yet another confession of fear and worry spilled to Kirk.

Jim looked down at you and softly smiled. “You even talk like a writer. It’s beautiful that you see it like that.” A cab pulled up and you both wished that it wouldn’t stop beside you. But it did.

“Goodnight, Blondie. I’ll probably see you tomorrow.” You got into the taxi.

“See you then. I hope your dreams are sweeter than the drink you named after me.” You both laughed before Jim became serious. “You deserve them.” Your smile froze for a spit second and then, before you knew it, the cab had pulled away from the sidewalk and Jim was no longer in front of you. You sighed before getting comfortable and clicking your pen, opening it to a page that had been a work in progress for a while.

—•—

You let out a soft sigh while staring out to the empty bar, a little over two hours since the bar had opened that night and only one person had been in and gone. You took the opportunity however to turn up the music a little and write. That was until the door opened and a group of people, lead by Jim, came in. You raised a brow seeing them holding bags, boxes of pizza and balloons. “W-what is all this?” You asked, placing down your journal, completely taken aback.

Jim grinned “Happy birthday, beautiful.” You looked at him in stunned silence, as if to ask ‘how?’ Without even opening your mouth. Jim’s grin grew wider. “I managed to track down your boss- who’s absolutely delightful by the way!“ He sarcastically added and you giggled shaking your head knowing exactly what he meant. “Anyway, he gave me the day. I roped in a few friendly faces, and Bones,” you burst out laughing and Leonard rolled his eyes. “And we thought you should have an amazing night, you certainly deserve one.”

“This is so amazing!” Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “Thanks, Blondie.” He shot you a wink before you caught up with Uhura, Sulu, Scotty and Spock who handed you gifts. You had met them before, Jim successfully managing to drag them to the back alley bar. But between studying and exams you didn’t see them as much as you would have liked. You were over the moon to see them all.

You began making and pouring out their drinks, Leonard took the chance to pull Jim to the side to have a heart to heart. “Are you gonna tell her tonight? Cause I’m fed up seeing your lovesick puppy eyes every time you look at Y/N.”

Jim let out a puff of amused air from his nose, crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head at Leonard’s bluntness. “Tonight.” He finally confirmed with a nod. “After you’re all gone and it’s just me and her.” Jim glanced over to you and could see the joy radiating off you, everyone felt it’s affect. Even Spock cracked a smile when you talked to him. “What if she doesn’t feel the same?” Kirk’s smile slowly fell. Bones let out a snort, telling Jim that he was off his head to be thinking like that.

The two eventually joined everyone again. Uhura nudged you a little “What do you say about closing the bar?” She smirked and your friends all had a mischievous look in their eyes before chanting ‘Close the bar! Close the bar!’ And banging their hands off the counter. With a growing smile, you slowly came out from behind the bar and they all started cheering. Scotty scribbled ‘closed for repairs’ on a piece of paper and placed it on the window as you shut the blinds. “Can we set up the Karaoke?” Uhura then asked.

You softly chuckled “You could literally set this place on fire and I wouldn’t mind. We can set it up. Scotty, think you can help me hook the system up to the speakers?”

“Course lassie! C’mon!” You made your way over to the corner with him and ended up being entangled in cables for a good ten minutes before managing to set up the karaoke machine. Jim looked on with a fond smile gracing his face. He turned back around to take a sip of his drink but his eyes soon caught on to your journal.

Your open journal.

Jim couldn’t help himself, his eyes began to scan the pages. ‘Blondie’ was at the top of one page with countless of words spilled underneath. ‘I notice things that no one else might, Blondie might not even notice either. The way his eyebrow creases in concentration,’ Jim realised he was doing it while reading then continued. ‘Or the way his blue eyes widen ever so slightly when he’s in a good mood.’ His heart swelled and bounced in his chest.

You wrote about him.

“You want a ‘Blondie’?” You asked, making Jim jump. He tried not to look so suspicious while he nodded with a silent, tight smile.

“Did you name a drink after him? Jeez! Are you trying to boost his ego?” Leonard huffed out and your eyes rolled while you smiled. “What is it anyway? Can I get one?” Curiosity got to the better of Bones. You decided to make one for everyone, and yourself. It was your birthday after all.

A few hours later and more than a few songs sung by Scotty, the karaoke was swapped for the music you usually played. You were sitting next to Jim at the bar, Scotty and Sulu were playing pool while Leonard watched them play with a whisky in his hand and Uhura and Spock were deep in conversation. “Did you like my rendition of ‘Fight For Your Right’?” Jim asked.

“That was you singing?! I thought there was a dying frog outside. You absolutely butchered that song!” You teased and Jim let out a loud, chesty, chuckle. You reached across and gently nudged his hands before letting your fingers tangle with his. Jim felt his breath hitch as his pinky twisted around yours. You looked up to him between your lashes with a gentle grin. “Thank you, I’ve had an amazing birthday thanks to you. Didn’t have much of one at home.” Your grin fell slightly.

“Dad still giving you a rough time?” Jim asked with a sympathetic look.

You forced a tight smile while shaking your head “I could be a Starfleet admiral and he’d probably still be disappointed.” Jim soothingly rubbed your knuckles with the tips of his fingers. “No, he was working today so I didn’t see him this morning. Chances are I won’t see him till tomorrow, or the weekend depending on his work.“ You sighed. “I know it’s tough for him and I know he wishes my mom was still here as much as I do to celebrate these things with us. But still...I’d always want more time with them both.” Jim nodded, knowing how you felt. He never had the chance to know his father.

A slow song came on and you looked up to the speakers. “Do you want to dance with me?” Jim asked and you met his gaze before nodding with a smile.

“Don’t even think about it...” you warned as he lead you to the space in the middle of the bar and placed a hand on your hip while his other took yours. Jim raised a perplexed brow. “If you even think about dipping me while we dance, Kirk, I’ll deck you.”

Jim burst out laughing but it caught in his throat when you rested one of your hands on his shoulder. He gently swayed you to the rhythm and held you close. The two of you danced, it felt like it was just the two of you in the bar, just the two of you in the world- in the entire universe even.

That’s was until Leonard came up and tapped Jim’s shoulder. “I want a dance with the birthday girl.” You and Jim shared a brief amused glance before he passed you to Bones who swung you about like the pair of you were at a barnyard hoedown. You roared with laughter and Uhura and Scotty joined the both of you, twirling around and stomping your feet. Jim couldn’t remember a time where he had seen Leonard enjoy himself so much.

Eventually all of you ended back up at the bar with almost empty glasses, deep in conversations that were probably made for 11pm. They were mainly about dreams and aspirations. “What about your dreams, Y/N?” Uhura asked with a hazy smile.

“They died in this bar!” Jim joked before taking the last mouthful of his beer, you rolled your eyes with a half smirk. Kirk then noticed the time and cleared his throat, nudging Bones who got the message.

“We should be off,” he stood up, along with everyone else who pecked your cheek and wished you another happy birthday, Scotty removed off the makeshift sign from earlier. “See you soon Y/N! Happy Birthday!” You saw them out while Jim remained perched on his stool, eyeing up the gift bag by his feet.

You sat across from him once more and he pulled up the bag. “You have one more gift.” His voice was starting to tremble. “From me.” You insisted that he didn’t have to get you anything, that planning your surprise night was more than enough, but Jim pushed the bag further towards you. With a small grin you pulled out a thin, square gift. When you ripped off the paper, you gasped. “Blondie- Greatest Hits vinyl for your record player. Two things you can’t get enough of, Blondies and that player.” He nervously laughed, his eyes meeting your journal for a brief moment. You were about to thank him and give him a hug before he stopped you. “Ah! There’s one more...” Jim trailed off and you reached down into the bottom of the bag. A new journal. “For more of your wordy works of art.” Jim smiled. You ran your thumb over the pages and noticed a bump. There was an item between two pages. Prying open the book, you found a necklace with a silver drinks charm on it. “Did I say one more? I meant two.” Jim shot you a trademark, mischievous smirk. “A little cheesy and cliché, I know.“

“I-it’s so lovely and thoughtful. I don’t know what to say! This is so sweet of you. Thank you!” You hugged him before sitting back down and unhooking the chain and holding the necklace out. “Can you put it on me?” You asked and Jim took it from you. You leaned forward, your forehead hit his shoulder as he secured the necklace to you. Kirk’s fingers ghosted over your skin before he eventually pulled back. You straightened back up slowly, your eyes meeting his as he tilted his head to the side. His neck craned forward a little. His lips just beginning to pucker up before the door opening disturbed you both. You quickly pulled away and saw a group of four men around Kirk’s age walk in. You shot Kirk a sorry look before getting up and politely smiling at the small group. “Sorry, we’re shut.”

One of them stepped forward with a cocky grin. “Well the lights are still on and he’s drinking, gorgeous,” you tried not to physically grimace and Jim tried not fly from his seat to punch the guy. “So I’d like a drink. Four beers and whatever you want.” He winked.

“Uh no thanks. I’m good.” You went behind the bar.

The guy leaned on the bar and looked you up and down, licking his lips. “Maybe instead of a drink, I could give you something stronger...”

“Hey, knock it off!” Jim spat, the grip on his glass getting tighter by the second.

“What’s it to you?” The same guy asked and you kept a close eye on them all while pouring the first drink. You didn’t want trouble- especially after such a good night. “Unless you want in her pants-”

Before you had put the glass down, Jim had lunged for the man. After a few punches were thrown, you finally managed to get in between them both.

“Out!” You barked at the man and the group behind him.

“He started it!” The man yelled, holding his jaw.

“Yeah well I’m ending it!” You hissed. ”Get out!” You ordered. Jim wondered where he had heard a tone like that used before as he sat down at the bar again, pinching the top of his bleeding nose. The four men begrudgingly left and you slammed the door shut behind them. You turned and saw Jim with a bloodied and bruised face. “I’ll get you ice and the first aid kit.” You sighed and walked over to him. “I swear! One more fight you’re barred, I me-”

Jim cut you off “You mean it, yeah I know.” He groaned when he rubbed his nose. “Like you meant it the other six-”

“Eight.” You quickly corrected.

“Eight times.” Jim said before his brow creased. “Eight times? Really?”

You chuckled and shook your head, moving to stand between his legs that he had opened a little more to accommodate you. You cupped his cheek, inspecting the damage. “What am I gonna do with you, James?”

His heart fluttered when you said his name. He had only heard you say it a handful of times before. But each time his name left your lips, it sounded like the first. He was glad you often called him by his nickname because each time you said his name, it was much more special. You made the mistake of gazing into his oceanic eyes and you couldn’t escape, especially when his hands landed on your waist. “Kiss it better?” He asked with a hopeful expression.

“What you gonna do after that?” You asked, your voice barely raising above a whisper. “Take me back to the Midwest and make an honest woman out of me?” You lightly teased.

Jim smirked and rubbed his hands up and down the curve of your waist while you rubbed away the blood under his nose with your thumb. “You read my mind.”

“You’re a smooth fucker I’ll give you that.”

“Will you give me anything else?” He asked, still holding onto that ounce of hope, especially when you started to lean forward.

“I’ll give you a chance to get out the door before I throw you out if you start a fight again.” Your lips were almost touching his when the door opened once more. Jim let out a loud groan and you swiftly pulled back. You glanced to the door and then back at Kirk. “I’ll get you that ice and kit.” You quickly and quietly blurted out before disappearing in the back.

Jim felt a presence sit next to him but he couldn’t look at the man in the face. Especially in the beaten, bloody, flustered state he was in. “Didn’t think I’d see you in here, Sir.” Kirk uttered and continued looking forward to save himself from having to look at Pike glaring at him.

You returned and placed a glass of something in front of Pike and ice wrapped in a dishtowel along with the first aid kit in front of Jim. “Yeah...” You chimed in. “Thought it would be too much of a dive for you a place like this.” You forced yourself to smile at the Captain who was dressed in an official looking outfit. Jim raised a brow at how openly you spoke to the captain, then again, you were always pretty ballsy.

“Yeah, well, I knew he’d be here.”

He motioned to Jim who let out a soft, sharp gasp feeling the cold against his face when he brought the ice to his stinging cheek.

“How did you know?” Jim asked, holding back a wince.

“Because I know you better than you give me credit for.” Pike replied and look a sip of his drink. “Glad to see you’re still getting your ass handed to you.” He said with a smirk and Jim rolled his eyes while he attempted to clean himself up a little. Kirk had a fond smile on his face as he followed you with his eyes as you stepped out from behind the bar so you could begin to put the stools up on the tables and give the place a general tidy. Pike noticed. “Don’t even think about it.” He lowly spoke and Jim looked at Pike while raising a silent, perplexed brow. The captain sounded like you when you told him off. “I’m warning you, Jim. She’s trouble.”

“I like trouble.” Jim pointed to his face. “Clearly.”

Pike shook his head and finished off his drink. The second he did, you took the glass off him. “I’m closing up. Jim, you alright?” You asked and he nodded, handing you back the ice pack and medical kit. Jim suspiciously eyed up Pike who was lingering about. He had thought maybe the captain had heard the spat and wanted to make sure everyone got out the bar alright. You grabbed your coat, bag and journal as well as all the gifts and walked out the bar with the two men. You were juggling everything and it didn’t occur to you that you’d have to get the keys out your pocket and lock the doors. “Damnit!” You hissed. Jim outreached his hands to take something but you shook your head. “It’s alright, dad will take it.” You said and tossed almost everything to Pike.

Jim felt like he had been punched in the face again. “D-dad? Pike? Dad? As in father?” He pointed to the man- who was shooting him a deadpanned expression- with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. “Your dad? Him? Pike?”

You nodded nonchalantly, as if it was the most unsurprising and least shocking thing in the world. “Yeah.” You took your things back from Pike who was still sending Jim an intimidating glare. “You want a ride home with us?”

“N-n-I-l’ll-a-a taxi...” Jim’s words tumbled out his mouth. You looked between your dad and Jim and pursed your lips.

“Well, let me know you get home safe and I’ll see you soon. Thanks for a great night and the gifts. And thanks for causing trouble...” you added with a soft, sarcastic, snort. “Not that I mind trouble. Goodnight Jim.” He nodded, still too dumbstruck to form a coherent sentence. He watched you walk away chatting to Pike who took the rest of your gift bags from you before getting into a car. The second he got back to his dorm, Leonard pounced on him with questions about what happened to his face and what happened between the both of you.

Jim looked at Bones with the same wide eyes he had earlier, they hadn’t returned to normal yet. “Bones...you‘ll never guess what the hell happened.”

—•—

You got into the bar around ten the next morning, giving you enough time to clean the place and change the beer barrels before opening, music playing in the background to keep you company. The door opened and you let out a loud sigh. “We’re closed!” You yelled from the back. “Can’t people read a damn sign?” You muttered to yourself. You walked out to the front and froze. Jim was standing there nervously playing with his fingers. A bruise had blossomed just under his eye and upper lip and a cut on his cheek and bottom lip had scabbed over during the night. “Wow a little early aren’t we?” You asked. “It’s ten in the morning- I can’t sell you booze.”

“I’m not here for that.” Jim said in a serious tone. His chest already getting a fluttery feeling inside of it seeing the chain he got you still around your neck.

“I sure hope not or else I’m going to have to give you an intervention.” You tried to joke but the look Jim was giving you made your heart flip and your laughter die your throat. “I know I probably should have told you about dad, but being a Pike isn’t something I usually shout about which is why I use my mother’s maiden name.” Jim silently nodded and you came out from behind the bar to stand in front of him. “I was just as surprised as you to see him yesterday. I think it’s the second time he’s ever stepped foot in this place,” you looked around. “The week after I started and last night.”

“I see…” he drawled out.

You stepped a little closer to him. “I need to tell you something.” He motioned his head as if to tell you to continue, you sounded serious. “I saved up more than enough money to get to New York...” a flash of fear and worry appeared in Jim’s blue eyes. “I’ve had it saved up for over a year.” Confusion started to drown out the fear and shock. “I didn’t go because I’d miss this bar… and serving you too much of course.” He snorted at that. “Which means I’ve decided to say in California.” You admitted, holding nothing back. “So, with the money I’ve saved...I bought the bar.” Jim’s eyebrows almost shot off his he raised so quick in surprise. “Papers are being finalised right now. I’ve fallen In love with it over years.” You paused for a moment and smiled at Jim “And fallen in love with it’s best customer.”

Jim reached for your arm, softly holding it. “But what about the book you wanted to publish?” He asked and you almost melted at his genuine concern for your dream. You grinned at his soft, worried tone. He wanted to see you do well doing something you loved.

“Dad is going to help me out, he finally saw last night how much I enjoy it here so is helping me get published. His gift to me for my birthday.” You smiled and took his hand. “Jim, I have been working in this bar for five years and serving you for four...my dreams didn’t die in the bar, they came true.” You whispered with tears welling in your eyes. “Especially in regards to love.”

“Y/N I-”

You raised your hand with a smile “You don’t have to say anything.”

He shook his head and looked to his feet for a moment before giving you all his attention. “No, I’ve got to do this because I was going to do it last night and then I got punched in the face and then your...your dad...came in and stopped me and then I found out and it shocked me but-” he realised he was rambling on so, in a moment of madness, placed a hand behind your head and brought you towards him before finally pressing his lips to yours. It felt like sparks were flying in every direction feeling his soft lips perfectly moving in sync with yours.

His hands moved further down to your ass. “Hey, don’t even think about it.” You pulled back and warned, breathlessly. He playfully rolled his eyes and gave you another peck while your hands wrapped around the back of his neck and his secured themselves around your waist. “Not until we go out for dinner first.”

“I’ve waited all these years, I can wait until then. After dinner we could go to the pier?” He suggested.

“After all these years of waiting...it’s a date, James Kirk.”

He pulled back and held you at arms length “So...still too early for a drink?” You dramatically sighed and rolled your eyes as he cracked and burst out laughing at your reaction. “What about a recital from your journal then? Or am I going to have to wait for the book?”

“I don’t know,” you walked around to the other side of the bar. “Maybe I should make you wait.” You pointed your finger at him before musing to yourself. “Or I could write about a Blondie that is a total pain in the ass and who’s always getting into fights?”

Jim sent you a deadpanned expression, although his eyes were twinkling with amusement. He glanced at your journal, fully knowing that you had already wrote about that and smirked.

“I’ve been talking to you for nearly two hours.”

“Yeah, but it’s not a long story. It’s the way you tell it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know the shorter relevant version, would have been plenty when we met in the woods, something like my brother in law has been kidnapped by rogues and we think these assholes might have something to do with it. My mate is a witch. Care to help in the fight. The end. You really do over complicate things.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at you.

“Okay fine, you’re right. That would have been enough that night in the woods. Would you have listened?”

“Well I guess we’ll never know.” You smirked, sipping again into your wine. “Oh and that bit about Budapest, makes no sense at all. How is that even relevant?”

“What!!!”

You broke into laughter, as the sound of the pizza arriving took you both to the door. Natasha pushed passed you to pay and you noticed how well she’d tipped.

An hour later with trashy TV in the background, a lull in small talk and your bellies full, you caught Natasha’s eyes on you.

“Whatever it is you want to ask just spit it out and ask me.” You tell her.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to share anything.” She shrugged.

“Oh I see. We’re doing I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours but trauma edition instead of boobs.”

“No, I just..”

“You thought sharing would manipulate me into doing the same. I’m not one of your spy targets Natasha.”

You watched as her eyes went wide.

“Please don’t make me out to be an idiot Natasha. I’ve been on my own a long time. On the road for nearly a decade. Remember what I am. You won’t manipulate me like you can others, so it’s best you don’t try.”

Natasha swallowed hard and nodded.

“Understood.”

Frank, Billy, Elektra, Matt, and Logan, had all warned you that Natasha would try and find an in with you. You also weren’t stupid and your witch and wolf instincts told you the moment she stood on the porch with cake and alcohol that she was up to something. The fact you knew from Wanda she’d argued with Steve and that he’d since kept his distance told you plenty.

From her scent and basic attitude you can guess she’s the highest ranking female alpha in the pack. Omega or not, you weren’t going to let her manipulate you.

“If you want to ask me something Natasha just ask.”

“Okay.” She asked unsure of you. “There is something I’d like to ask, it was something Wanda was curious about.”

“Go on.”

“When did you know you had magic?”

“I honestly don’t remember not having it. An aunt told me years ago that she was babysitting once when my mum was at work and she’d noticed the mobile above the cot had stopped playing the music and moving. She could hear I was still awake so went to put it on but when she came in the room she found me using magic to do it. I was six months old. I’d learnt or figured out how to do it myself. My aunt guessed it was because I’d was being left in the cot for long periods of time. What about Wanda? When did she know?”

“She was seven, one of her friends fell in the playground trying to keep up with Pietro. She healed his knee. Can I ask you something else Luna?”

“Just ask, and don’t try to butter me up by calling me Luna either, just get to the point.”

She nodded and took a breath.

“Can you tell Wanda’s strength from up here in the cottage?”

“I can. She’s a four.”

Natasha shook her head and smirked.

“She’s actually a three. Maybe your magic’s still a little fried from the fight.” She told you smugly.

Oh, she thinks she’s going to one up you, your wolf told you.

You took a sip of the wine you’d opened to have with the pizza, and tilted your head at her. A crack of thunder rippled through the sky and it began to rain heavily over the cottage.

“Hmmm, they don’t seem very fried to me.” You replied, your eyes flickering gold.

Natasha looked at your hands to see they weren’t moving and you were causing the storm above the cottage without effort. She fidgeted in the seat.

“I’m a seven Natasha, and being around all of you, even though it pains me to admit it, is making me more settled and stronger as a result. Your mate is a four. She needs more practice and her shielding needs work. I could smell you two fucking all the way up here. Now please continue with your interrogation.” You told her firmly.

She swallowed hard and asked if you were made to hide your magic.

“I was always told to hide it, by my mum, my stepdad, even my siblings. One of my earliest memories is being told not to tell anyone. I was made to wear mittens in the summer because my mother thought it stopped the magic coming through. The pack I was attached to didn’t mind it, and they tried to help me the best they could.”

“Sam told Steve about the conversation you had with your mother.”

“Did he tell you as well?”

She shook her head in response.

“But I’ve heard them whispering and I saw how angry Steve was.”

“At me?”

“At your mother.”

“She’s a piece of work and I always knew she regretted having me but, I don’t know how to explain it, it was very final but I think it had to be.”

Natasha nodded like she understood.

“I lived with another omega for a while, before I stayed in the coven house. She told me that the urge to ring her mum never went away, even though hers was an arsehole too. I kept replaying it in my mind. I don’t even know why I did it. We’d not spoken in a long time. I guess even if your mum's a bit of a dick, you never stop wanting her, or a mother of some sort at least, regardless of if they want you or not.”

“Is that why you’re keeping a distance from Steve? From us? Because you think we won’t want you?”

“There are many reasons Natasha, but yes that’s one of them.”

“Y/N, we want you to be our Luna. Steve wants you. We want you to be part of our pack.” She tells you, reaching for your hand and squeezing.

“You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me.” You told her firmly, pulling your hand away.

“So tell me.”

You paused for a moment.

“If I do, I want a favour. Consider it repayment of the woods and your long story.”

“Go on.”

“I’ll tell you what I think you should know, and you tell Steve.”

“You want me to tell Steve?”

“Yes, and I want your word that you’ll tell him everything I tell you, exactly as I tell you and I want you to tell Bucky too. Tell them together.”

Natasha with all her life experience and with a mate as a witch, knew what it meant to give you her word. She nodded.

“You have my word Luna.”

You thought for a moment.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“From the beginning.”

Next Part

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When you stir you have no idea what time it is. You feel around for your phone and discover it’s just after 5am. You’d slept for ten hours.

You stretch and find that everything aches. You let out a groan and roll onto your side, pulling one of the pillows into your chest and hugging it tightly. Your mind strays to Steve and you’re tempted to peek out the window and see if he’s on the deck. He’s been dozing in the rocking chair apart from the night you sent him off to sleep via Pietro. Sometimes one of the others is at his side and sometimes he’s sketching or reading. You think he knows you’re peeking at him. He smiles once in a while, even when it’s just him and it makes you wonder what it’d be like for this to be your life. The strokes of his pen to paper, his soft smiles and his scent burrowing up your nose.

Your thoughts pause as Steve’s scent nears the shield. Bucky’s is alongside it and you hear them near, voices soft and lowered. Your white wolf ears pick up your name, questions of if you’ve eaten and if you’re ok. Again, you wonder if this is what it’d be like to share a home with them. Although it’s not been said, you’re sure they do live together. Their scents are so heavily mixed together, that one always lingers on the other’s clothes. Your thoughts move to Tyler and Jacob. From the little you’ve seen Bucky and Steve are closer than they are, and their scents certainly mix differently. Bucky and Steve are more like Billy and Frank when it comes to their relationship as pack brothers. The two pairs clearly deeply connected. Tyler and Jacob were closest when you were there but for reasons you’d tried to forget about. You huff and pull the covers over your head.

You doze for another hour and startle awake as you sense another witch nearby.

Wanda. It seems she’s dropped her shield and a pull of the witch wound lets you know she’s trying to let you know she’s there. You can tell her connection to the wound is unpractised and shaky. You pull back softly and you sense a nudge back. It’s flurried, like butterflies in your tummy and you sense an edge of excitement and nervousness.

You’re shocked when she suddenly mind links with you.

“Hello Luna.”

The whole of the time you’ve been here none of the pack have tried to mind link to you. Even unmated, Steve as the alpha of the pack and as YOUR alpha would have been able to, but he hadn’t. Nor had Bucky or Sam. In fact the only person that had was Natasha, all those weeks ago in the woods.

You’d ignored it back then, putting it down to her being mated to a witch but there was no ignoring the reason now. Not with Wanda connecting to you.

“Luna?” She pushed again. You couldn’t exactly ignore her. She knew you were awake from the pulling of the wound. Part of you also wondered if she was uncomfortable with you being there.

“Good morning Wanda.” You replied. “How are you?”

“You know my name.”

“Of course I do. It would be rude of me to not know the name of a sister so close by.”

You felt warmth through the bond.

“And is that sister as a witch or as part of our pack?”

“I take it you’ve not spoken to Steve yet?” You said back amused. Did she really think you’d be mated already? You had only met days ago, even if it did feel longer.

“No, though he’s currently talking to Natasha outside our cabin. Oh Natasha is annoyed. She’s calling the men idiots.”

You cackle with laughter.

“Can you hear why?” You pry.

“Something about you and that he shouldn’t listen to my brother.”

“He meant well and to be fair I did open my shield to him, and the stew was good.”

You stretch and take a few wobbly steps over to the window, as Wanda tells you that the stew is her recipe and she wished she’d been first to make it for you. You discreetly peek through the curtains and find Pietro and Clint on the deck of the old cabin opposite. Both are drinking what looks to be coffee as they rock back and forth in the rocking chairs. They are both wearing workout gear and you wonder what time these people wake up to be already in workout gear and drinking coffee and you really hoped this wasn’t a pack standard.

“Your brother is currently exchanging laughs with Clint on the deck of that old cabin. I think they’re on guard.”

“On guard?” Wanda replied, confusion in her question.

“Oh one of them has been there the whole time, sometimes two. Sam and Bucky followed me to the shops.”

Wanda replied in what you guessed was her native Sokovian or Russian. When you asked what she had said she replied.

“Idiot boys.”

No other words followed and you knew she’d stopped mind linking to you. A brief pull on the wound followed and then it was cold and gone.

Resigned to the fact you had probably slept enough you decided it was time to start your day. You showered quickly and pulled on some comfortable clothes and mismatched socks, as you realised you definitely needed to do laundry. You started with what you had in the cottage, setting up the first load and summoning the bag of dirty laundry from your car.  You’re surprised to find that Pepper has a traditional washing line along with the fancy Stark Home heater airer. The thought of peeking out the window and looking for Steve rolled around in the back of your mind but your nose confirmed he was further away than the deck.

You made yourself some breakfast, but halfway through eating you found yourself questioning what you were doing. You rarely ate breakfast. When you agreed for Billy to make it for you it was usually nearer to lunchtime, something Frank had often scolded you for. He’d knocked it off when you explained it was because your mother had rarely given it to you. Something else you’d need to tell Steve.

As it’s time to hang out the washing you decide to give the place a bit of a spring clean and throw open the curtains and windows. You turn on some music and dare to glance over at the deck. No one is there. Not an alpha, beta or omega. Your omega whimpered and your wolf huffed, both in disappointment.

You weren’t sure how you felt about nobody being there and distracted yourself with cleaning and dealing with the laundry. A little while later you’re going through emails, checking your bank accounts and bills.

There are a few emails from friends, a cousin here and there, but the first one immediately annoys you.

Tyler Call me

Hilda Hey sweetie, I don’t know if you’re getting my messages but I just wanted to check you were okay? We heard all about that trouble in Queensborough. Please let us know. We’re worried.

Oh and Sabrina’s pregnant again!

Hilda X

Harlan Please tell me that wasn’t you?

Harlan I know now it was. I tried to cover your hospital bill. I know your insurance doesn’t cover fancy hospitals like that. Seems Stark has you covered. Fiona is keep me updated but I’d like to hear from you.

Ransom Do you need anything?

Ransom P.S. I’m still not being an asshole

Luna Diana Hello little one I’m worried. Tyler is trying to reach you. We heard that town you stay in sometimes had some trouble. Everything ok? Please little one, I’m so worried. I always worry we’ve not done enough for you.

You wonder how much people know. Matt had told you to avoid going online.

“It’s just a mess of false news and conspiracy theories. There’s no need to bother yourself with it.”

So you hadn’t. But clearly this was big news. Hydra and Agatha had finally been taken down and you had played apart. A realisation washed over you as to how much effort Frank and Billy and the pack had taken to keep you safe. Steve, Stark and the pack had too. Letting you stay in one of the most secure compounds there was.

You couldn’t put your own neck on the line when they’d tried to keep your name out it and to keep you away from the attention this would bring, or the danger it could bring from Hydra and Agatha’s super-fans.

You sent replies that were polite, conversational and gave nothing away. Drawing the conversation to another point in some way. An hour or so later and with still no sign of the pack, you make yourself some lunch. You have a craving for salad and you’re halfway through when you realise what’s happening. Eating better, cleaning, washing. Were you starting to nest and prep for an alpha. Your alpha?

You jumped from your seat as your suppressant alarm started and you checked your levels before injecting yourself. You ignored the pull to burrito yourself in a blanket and decided to check on Storm instead. You video call and laugh hysterically when she tells you Logan has been peed on twice. She asks you to visit tomorrow and you promise to bring her a sweet treat. You hear Logan huff in the background.

After a few more loads of laundry, you decide on watching a movie and settle down with a couple of blankets. You huff when you realise what you’ve done but don’t kick them off. You sniff a little and realise there’s still no sign of the pack and drop the shield but lock the doors.

You're about to drift off to sleep when your phone rings. You pull it from your burrito blanket as Frank's name flashes across the screen. Shit. He was bound to know something, especially as Elektra had spoken with Bucky. You pushed yourself up and tried to sound awake.

"Hey Frankie."

"Hey Frankie? That's what you have to say?"

"Ermmm"

"Ermmm now. You don't have anything else to say? To tell me?"

"Ermmmm, Storm had the baby!" You say.

"I already know about that, Summers let Billy know."

You stayed silent. Sure you'd let Frank know you'd got there safely and your location was still shared with him, but you'd not told him you were Steve's or that you'd phoned your mother. You don't know what to say. Things between you, Billy and Frank had felt very final, and you weren't there's, but still you felt guilty. A guilt that you couldn't really explain. Guilt for getting a second chance, and for not telling them.

"Baby, did you think I'd be mad?"

"I wasn't sure."

"I'm not surprised."

"What?"

"I'm not surprised that you're Rogers' mate, kinda makes sense."

"How?"

"Well, you're each other's second chance, did he tell you that? That you're his second chance?"

"It's been mentioned but we've not really spoken much."

Frank sighs.

"Yeah, I heard you were being stubborn."

"Who's being telling tales?"

"I need you to listen to me, alright? Let me finish before you start yelling or throwing Rogers around again."

You didn't answer.

"Omega."

"Fine.

"Rogers met with Matt."

"WHAT!!??"

"Let me finish." He told you firmly.

Frank went on to explain that Steve had contacted Matt, before you'd even reached their compound, asking if they should expect any visits from the agencies that had already interviewed you. Steve had assured Matt you'd be safe in their compound and the day after your dramatic arrival he'd called Matt again asking if they'd be any comeback on you. He'd also had a lengthy meeting with Matt and Fury. He'd also ask if Frank would be open to a conversation with him about the events at the dock, but he'd declined, expecting it was more about you. Elektra and Luke had spoken to Bucky and Sam instead.

"They're trying to keep you safe kid, all of them. As much as Rogers and I haven't always seen eye to eye in the field, he's one of the good ones. Fights for what he thinks is right, and if your second chance isn't me, or me and Bill. Then it's probably Rogers. Talk to him kid, let him explain why you're his second chance too."

"Frankie, what if I tell him everything and if doesn't want me?"

"Then you call me and I'll come get you, and I'll beat his ass too."

You hear Billy in the background, shouting something about Bucky and kicking his ass too. You smile and let out a huff of laughter.

"Always got my back boys."

"I told you kid, just call me."

The mention of Bucky's name, makes your mind wander and you decide to ask Frank something that's been in and out your mind since you watched Bucky from the kitchen window as he unpacked your car.

"Frank, can I ask you something about Bucky?"

"Go on."

"I noticed how he's different to the other betas I've met."

"How so?"

"Well, he's not built like Billy, Tyler, or Clint, although I've only seen him from across the garden, and on the road too, back home, wherever I've been. His shoulders are broad, and his arms, well, I know one is metal but his arms."

"You got a crush on Barnes?"

You hear Billy say something again and Frank tells him off again, but firmer this time.

"No, I just, I can't explain it."

"You know as a Luna, it's possible...."

"Don't, I just wondered that was all."

"He wasn't always built like that baby." Frank tells you softly. "You know what Hydra and those terrorists they used out in Afghanistan did to prisoners of war right?"

"Yeah."

"Now, put the two together."

"Oh goddess, they played with his presentation?"

"I'm not going to say anymore, that's up to him, but he'll probably need you just like we did."

"Okay." You reply.

A scent suddenly washes up your nose. Natasha. The click of the gate lets you know she's coming up the front path. A knock at the door comes soon after. You unwrap yourself from the blankets and tell Frank you have a visitor. You use your free hand to open the door, the other still holding the phone to your ear. Natasha stands there, a bottle of vodka in one hand and homemade cake in the other.

"Hey." She says, almost sheepishly.

"Can I help you?" You smirk at her.

"Can we talk?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"If those are for me and how long your story is."

She huffs out a laugh.

"Long, would it help if I said I'd send for pizza too?"

"Fine."

You step back from the door, letting her in and ending your call with Frank.

"Frankie, I'm gonna need to call you back. There's a redhead here with vodka, cake and a long story."

Natasha doesn't miss that he tells you firmly to call him back later and calls you baby. You place down your phone on the kitchen counter where Nat has set out two glasses and is pouring out the vodka.

When she looks up at you she feels a wash of nerves, something she doesn't feel often. Most people are intimated when they first meet her. You're clearly not. You're perched on one of the stools, arms folded across your chest, your eyes flash gold as you stare her down.

Only this isn't the first time you've met, and you're clearly still pissed about her not telling you what was really going on in the woods all those weeks ago.

"Go on then Romanoff, I'm ready for your long story."

Next part....

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