xyyxo

The hours between 12am and 6am have a funny habit of making you feel like you’re either on top of the world, or under it.

Depression doesn’t always happen late at night when your all alone It happens when your with your friends mid-laugh It hits you when you least expect it  Grabbing you with its bony, decrepit, old hands  Reminding you, you can never escape its clutches

I destroyed my body for a peace of mind I never got.

If you want sex, have sex. Have sex with a person who wants to have sex with you and have it when both of you want it. Don’t plan it. Don’t delay it. Don’t suppress it. Don’t perform it. Have it. Stop caring about whether you’ve shaved or not. Or whether there’s a zit on your back you wanted to get rid of before the person you desire sees you in the nude. Stop worrying about the taste the garlic bread you had for lunch left in your mouth or the sound of the moans you can’t keep in when they touch your sweaty body. Stop worrying about how that body looks to you in the mirror. It’s not what they see. Turn off the movie that’s playing in your head and switch to reality. If you want this to be art so badly, see it as the most colorful painting there ever was. Dashes of paint in lust black and sperm white and bruise blue and blood red and labia pink on a canvas made of human skin, in a broken frame of shaky bones. There is no perfection in sex. None in you. None in them. You’re not acting out a scene from a goddamn novel. You’re writing your own. You’re not looking for flawlessness, you’re looking for pleasure. You’re a driven, instinctive, hungry being, not the lie of softness and beauty around it. Feel them, don’t gaze. Move intuitively, not predicted. Laugh if you have to, stop if you need to. Be safe, but not mentally. Devour the moment and let go.

helen did not intend to start a war. she never meant for her face to launch a thousand ships, for her love to bring troy to its knees. she never asked to be pretty. athena did not curse medusa. she did not blame poseidon’s unfortunate lover. she only ever meant to protect her from the evils of men who would only disappoint her. artemis did not punish callisto for her father’s sins. she did not kill the nymph - her sister - in cold blood because of a broken oath. she loved her; she killed her; she saved her. ariadne did not hate theseus for abandoning her on that island. she did not spit on his grave with a mouth full of scorn. she forgave him; for, if he hadn’t let her go, she never would have become a goddess - more than the hero ever was. calypso did not mean to keep odysseus for so long. she did not hate penelope. she simply loved too deeply, with too open of a heart. persephone did not eat the pomegranate by mistake. she was not a helpless young girl who had no choice of her own. she had a choice, and she chose a kingdom over a patch of grass and a queen’s crown for a princess’s tiara. stop blaming the woman for the man’s mistake, or they will watch you burn.

those hardest to love need it most

There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough.

Now there are movies I can’t watch anymore, songs that I can’t listen to anymore, places I can’t go anymore. Because the things that come with them are things I don’t want to feel anymore.

“When God tries to show you it’s time to let someone go & you refuse to, he will allow that person to hurt you to a point where you have no choice but to let go”

You lost me when you lied.

Today my forest is dark. The trees are sad and all the butterflies have broken wings.

the old taylor….. dead……