Chemist

“And what are you the god of? Bad tastes?”

“You’re not my god.” 

“It’s been a long time since anyone invoked my name.” 

“I’m a god, not a genie. I do not ‘grant’ wishes.” 

“You haven’t an inkling of an idea of what you’ve just done, haven’t you?” 

“And what is a mere mortal to a god?” 

“A god is only as powerful as their believers.”

“When’s the last time anyone prayed to you?” 

“Don’t be stupid. Gods don’t exist.” 

“Your petty discourse is highly amusing.” 

“What a cute little shrine! I wonder who’s it to?” 

“Your title may have “Evil” in it but you just look sad.” 

“No one’s ever built me a shrine before…” 

“You mustn’t be a very good god then.” 

“Your mortal woes are beneath me.” 

“You dare speak to me in such a tone?” 

“Be careful of what you wish for.” 

“You don’t know the meaning of “God-King”. 

“You know not of who you speak to, do you?” 

“You don’t look very… godly… to me.” 

“’A god’? Don’t be so full of yourself.” 

“What are you the god of?” 

“Does it get lonely?” 

“Oh god, please don’t hurt me!” 

“Your god has no sway here.”

“And what brings you into my domain, little one?” 

“I think I just woke something up. Something powerful.” 

“Um… hello? Any… anyone listening?” 

“This is stupid. Of course no god will listen to me.” 

“You probably look nothing like your statue.” 

“I hope this shrine is worthy enough for you…” 

“I’m here as a sacrifice, as promised by my people.” 

feel free to change titles / pronouns / places where appropriate !

Now, to start it all you should know there is a thing we will call…..Blob. This big thing called Blob, is where everything and everyone comes from. “Oh, but I come from my mommy and my daddy!” I hear someone in the audience exclaim. Well, sit the fuck down, you are a dumbass! And I say that with love. The truth is, that the source of all mommies and daddies is the Blob. And before you ask, no, the Blob is not a person or a thing, it just Is. Let’s say the Blob is a cluster of atoms. Or even better, let’s say the Blob is one of this machines:

Now, the first prizes to come out of that machine were three, first it was me and then, it was Life clinging to my feet and Death, holding Life’s hand. I mean, we didn’t have corporeal forms per se back then but you know, for a simple visual, that is how it happened. So there we were, the first triplets to ever come out of the Blob. And it was cool and it was fine but of course, Life being Life, wanted to create more than just us, more than just three formless entities playing around in the Cosmos and you know the saying, Life finds a way.

And what, you might ask, did Life do? Well, she tried to pull stuff out of the machine like a dumbass. But nothing happened. Then she called Death but that worked even less. And then, she called me. Yes, dear old me. I was the coin Life needed to get out more prizes from the Blob. She controlled the claw but it was because of me that the claw moved at all.

So Life started to pull out prize after prize, after prize. And they were all surprise prizes! Packed in little spheres, a bunch of pieces that, when put together, created…….Gods! So she cracked all the little balls open, one by one and she put together all of the creatures inside them. Gods with thousands of arms, with multiple eyes, with blue skin, with trunks, with yellow bodies, with long hair, with no eyes, with no eyebrows, with pointy ears, with one eye, with seven legs, some that looked like just balls of light, clouds of gas, liquid silver and gold…..You get my point. Life made them all, put them together and kissed them good morning, bringing them to, obviously, life and implanted in their heads the most basic recipe for life before sending them in their merry way. And to each, she gave a part of herself and she grew smaller and smaller, a bit of Life travelling with every God.

Death, on the other hand, was more clever. They didn’t give away parts of themselves, they made creatures with the pieces that Life didn’t use to make the Gods and called them reapers. They kissed them good night and gave them the power to take souls and send them behind each God, chasing each piece of Life, to do one simple task: bring an end to life’s beginning.

The story of Life and Death is a very interesting one and I’m sure you have a lot of questions about them but this is not their story, they are not the protagonists but maybe some other time I will tell you about Life forgetting and Death longing and how it all works but for now, let’s continue, yes?

Gods went their way, with a life and death on their tails. It was then that the Gods created Universes. Each of them did what they thought was best, some loved other Gods and had kids that were Gods as well, big families of multiple Gods coexisting in one universe. Some Gods were dualities with other Gods, some decided to make themselves planets, some decided to make themselves suns, some preferred to just dance around the Cosmos. But most of them, created life. It was engraved in their brains after all, an itch that they would discover eventually. Like when you forget something but you can’t remember what until you just do.

The life the Gods created came in different forms; Some made creatures who could only breathe underwater, some made creatures that could not breathe oxygen, some made them with green skin, some made them with fangs, others with fur, some Gods made creatures with multiple legs and multiple heads. Some decided to give their creatures pretty faces and multiple eyes, wings and halos But most Gods, eventually created humans. Yes, humans are very constant throughout the multiverse, after all there is only so much you can do with legos before you repeat something someone else did. Or perhaps the Blob or even Life gave them that recipe too. Who knows. Humans came to be, in different places, by different Gods and well, it is not that my job came to be.

It’s complicated but let’s put it like this: Universes have different colours. All of them, I separate in the same sort of shade. Blues to the left, Green to the right, Yellow on the other. So on and so forth, until they are in different boxes. Then, I observe them. How they are similar, how they are different and slowly but surely, I place them together. Like a puzzle! Gods that are similar, come together in this things called Timelines. That is why humans can remember multiple Gods, I take the Gods and their humans and I mix them up in the same Memory.

Why? Well, let’s use Humanity as an example. Gods that create humanity change with humanity. Let’s take the Greek Gods, they loved their humans but their humans moved on, the believe in them died and the Gods lost part of what made them. So instead of letting Death just take them back to the Blob, I grabbed them and linked them with a God whose humanity worked similarly. So I mixed the Greek universe with Egyptians in the same timeline, then with Aztecs and Indians and Norse and a bunch of different religions to see who would win, who would last longer, who would remain God and who would fall, forgotten by their creations.

So, in the plain way: some universes are blue, a specific shade of blue so i observe and put them in a box called Solar System, then as they evolve I string them together in a Timeline. That way multiple universes turn into One Universe. So various Gods can coexist in one Universe without everything going crazy. This is what Timelines are.

Now, I separate each Universe but I don’t use walls, I use veils. And some some people can see through those veils. Gods, humans, aliens, elves, vampires, anything you can imagine. And they can walk through the Universes and for most part, it can all remain stable. As long as no one goes too crazy, as long as they eventually go back to their own universe. At least for a while until everything is stable again.

Like when you visit a friend. It’s all fun and games until you stay for too long and become annoying. Except you don’t become annoying, you might make both Universes go BOOM!

Now, there are also little rooms between universes. This are called pocket universes. Some were created by Gods and others were created by me. some were made by Life and by Death but either way, they work the same: the rules of a normal Universes don’t apply. But of course, this little universes aren’t really all that big and don’t have a big effect on Creation over all.

And that is it for today’s lesson, I’ll be taking your questions now.