isn't it lovely, all alone

i’m slightly regretful that i couldn’t have had a better in-character send-off for danbi and nathan, but for anyone who knows me (or doesn’t know, hi if you’re still following this account!), my life has gotten increasingly busy and i’ve gotten less and less active. 3.5 years ago, i was still a college student with (honestly) all the free time in the world, but the past few months have been some of the busiest they’ve ever been - and it’s been such a shame to not be able to devote any of my available time to the one place that got me through the pandemic, moving across the country, starting a new job, and settling into my 20s.

now, don’t get me wrong - i’m not leaving permanently! i’ll still be on the admin team creating graphics, and who knows, i might come back with a new muse sooner than you (and maybe even i) think, but this chapter of my life with danbi and nathan has definitely come to a close.

under the cut, you’ll find my lasting thoughts on geum danbi and how i expect the rest of her life to go now that she’s left the company (and you’ll find a similar one for nathan on his account, too!). it’ll mostly be for me, so for anyone who’s still reading this - thank you for writing with me, danbi, and nathan! without you, lgc wouldn’t have become home. see you soon, and onto the next 🤍

context : crystallis mission 6, japanese debut promotions

so far, their japanese debut has been smooth sailing - well, it’s barely been a week, but their debut has been smooth sailing for the past six days, at least. the music video was received well, and their single’s doing decently on the charts. if they were only considering things from a strictly only-music perspective, then things were going great for them - but being idol’s never just about the music, though, is it?

     (...)

     “what? me?” she points at herself when danbi asks, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “no i’m not that good, i only started learning recently.” she admits with a sigh, wondering why she didn’t try to get better at japanese during her trainee days. “but i’ll try and check your’s if you help check mine! i don’t know how much help i’ll be, but two heads must be better than one, right?”

at hyejoo’s cuteness, even danbi can’t help but laugh - it’s nice to see that (maybe) the other girls aren’t thinking of this as much of an end-of-the-world kind of situation as she is. in fact, that’s to be expected, right? for everyone to be so normal about the whole thing reminds danbi that she should just chill out, and well, be normal.

context : crystallis mission 6, japanese debut promotions

everything and anything japanese, at this point, has her more traumatized than the average citizen. whether you call her dramatic or not, it’s undeniable that danbi has a bit of a complex when it comes to japan - well, maybe not with the country as a whole but rather, what the concept of japan means to her. as a constant reminder that her position is never secure, and that she’ll probably never be good enough.

it was bad the first time around, when she was chastised for her lack of japanese fluency and stripped of her role as leader - but to be threatened with the same for a second time? with no hesitation nor qualms, it was clear how the company felt about her absence of, for lack of a better word, growth since she promoted in japan last.

she was embarrassed and, therefore, all the more nervous when the stakes were undoubtedly higher this time around. her hands are shaking, clutching onto her music sheets as she’s waiting for her turn to record. and with only danbi and hyejoo left for the day, her nerves only doubled when faced with the inevitable comparison with one of the group’s main vocals.

word count : 325

it’s nice that they’re able to do more group activities together - for a while now (ever since debut, actually), they’ve all been focusing on their solo schedules when they’re not currently promoting. danbi understands why - of course, she’s guilty of it, too - but it’d be a lie to say that she wasn’t just the tiniest bit disappointed that the company wasn’t pushing for more marketing of the group as a whole. 

be it name power or individual recognition or what, it was hard to be accepting of their current status quo, so these new cf gigs were a pleasant surprise and wholeheartedly welcomed as a chance to advertise themselves as just crystallis - even if not entirely as seven.

word count : 397

usually - even when they ask them to try and not to - danbi just films herself at work when recording these vlogs. after all, it’s always the most exciting part of her day, if not her whole day - being an idol, at the end of the day, is busy work, even if it makes for easy entertainment.

but on a random free day in between their comeback preparations, danbi found a rare moment to herself to do something that’s not, well, work.

(...)

“rock, paper and scissors?” she repeats. in her eyes, it’s a good sign that the other suggested a more friendly way to decide this and an even better sign that it’s a game she knows how to play. “the loser sits on the bed?” jieun suggests as she raises her fist up for the match. both were fine, but thinking about it again, standing up required less effort posture-wise.

“sounds good to me,” she agrees, grateful that jieun’s receptive to her suggestion. hoping to keep this lighthearted atmosphere going, danbi pretended to roll up her sleeves and dramatically peer into the inside of the balled fist of her right hand for the correct move. soon, she relaxed - though, a hint of a laugh couldn’t help but escape from her as she readied her stance and held her hands out.

(...) “ah no no, it’s okay. i can look for it myself. i wouldn’t know how to explain why you’d be in our dressing room.” just like he can’t explain why he is in front of theirs, but the point is that there wasn’t anything for them to find there. 

“well we have to be on stage soon so… i guess i will return it later. it’s nothing too important anyways.” he shrugs lightly, hands in the pocket of his pants in an awkward pose. looking around, yeonwoo tries to find a way out so the focus is no longer on him and his intentions there. however, he doesn’t think the woman will forget it even after the performances. 

now, she’s starting to feel bad - a little bit. maybe she’s dragged the joke out too long, or maybe the sight of him shrinking and shrinking in front of her is enough to show some mercy. “that makes sense. well, if you find it, just know that you’re always welcome back to crystallis’ dressing room,” she replies with a wide grin.

(...)

“Who gives the best advice?”

Soyoun’s name was on the tip of her tongue, a true honest answer, but Ichika for some reason stopped herself and pointed towards her partner. “Danbi-unnie,” she mused, leaning to smile over at the older girl for a moment before returning her gaze to the camera. “She’s our leader after all.”

for the most part, danbi and ichika have been playing nice just fine. it’s been, what, the better part of a year now - surely, they’ve would’ve figured out that it would be more beneficial to both of them to remain civil than to participate in cat fights with one another, but alas, she can always be proved wrong.

spectrum.

Glamour’s Friendship Test

(...)

“Who is most likely to never reply in the group chat?”

Ichika’s hard had managed to fall from her face and return to her lap, but she really could not help but be amused by the questions that had been prepared. “Does it have to be one of us, because if not, it’d definitely be Jaehwa. She never replies.” Ichika smiled and head lolled to one side as she spoke, glancing towards Danbi to confirm this fact before she prepared a better answer. “Probably me?” There had been an urge to answer the older girl again, just because she had more schedules, but she decided to throw herself in just to mix things up. “Sometimes I put down my phone and forget to check it because I’m doing other things.” 

it’s a pity that soyoun couldn’t be here today - shooting a video for glamour magazine instead of, you know, going to paris for fashion week. but alas, here the six of them are - complimenting each other, doing trust falls and, best (worst?) of all, pairing up to answer questions about one another.

it’s a real pity that soyoun couldn’t be here today - if she was, maybe danbi would’ve been paired up with her instead of ichika.

there’s no real animosity between the two, just sheer awkwardness. it started with ichika being named as the leader for the lgc girls japan unit, and it’s only getting worse now that the company’s all but threatened that danbi might lose her position again if she doesn’t improve her japanese (as if fluency in a language is the only requisite for leadership, of course).

it’s frustrating and, therefore, hard to be friendly - though, she tries her best, smiles her widest, and laughs her hardest until the end of the shoot. at another question asked - who is most likely to never reply in the group chat? - danbi naturally turns to ichika to answer first, nodding along as the other speaks until there’s a natural lull in conversation.

(...) it still doesn’t stop jiae from falling out of her chair when fabula’s manager requests her number for crystallis’ manager to pass on to the geum danbi. okay— it wasn’t like jiae hadn’t seen her around legacy. because of course she had. and jiae had totally spoken to her before. but in jiae’s head, she was kind of like this beautiful, mysterious figure— definitely one of legacy’s newer idols that jiae respected immensely and looked up to. 

(...)

she’s loitering around in legacy’s building when her phone buzzes in her hands. and of course, it was danbi— waiting patiently for jiae in the parking garage. the two were going to make their way over to the coffee truck in crystallis’ van. she begins walking, letting her feet carry her to the parking garage as she quickly types a response back to danbi. 

outgoing message 💌      — 단비선배님💗

danbi sunbaenim 💕 hello! i’m on my way right now ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ i think i see the van? do you see me?

oh god, why do nerves have to come now? all day, danbi was looking forward to this rare outing - albeit, company-sponsored - and yet, as her phone buzzes in her hand and the screen illuminates with a bright ‘4 new messages!’ notification in the very center. in a word, she’s nervous, but even she can’t help the grin on her lips as she quickly reads jiae’s reply before her eyes instantly dart up to search for the girl in question.

context : side event 17, food truck visit

for once, danbi’s glad that the company’s giving her a reason to go out and spend time doing anything but practicing - preparations have been in full swing since it was revealed crystallis will be coming back in april, and things have only gotten busier and busier as they inch closer towards their release date.

so lgc’s annual ‘love month’ month-long celebrations came as a true breath of fresh air for her - a nice day of respite from the hustle and bustle of idol-life. visiting the food (coffee?) truck today was a chance for her to take in the winter air, meet some of the current trainees in the company, and (hopefully) make new friends - specifically in that of jung jiae, fabula’s newest member.

danbi remembers asking her manager to ask their manager for jiae’s number - subsequently texting her herself to see if she’d like to check out the company coffee truck together. thankfully, jiae said yes - they agreed to drive over together, with crystallis’ manager accompanying them for the outing in question.

sitting in their van, danbi can’t help the happy hums as her thumbs type out a quick message to jiae in tandem -

(...)

either way, it’s too late to prove his complete innocence and he can’t help but laugh at her following question. “no, not the tea.” yeonwoo shakes his head and slides his free hand into the pocket of his sweatpants in hopes to find something, anything that would save him ( considering it was still a possibility ). “uh where is it…” he mutters. with a sheepish grin, he looks up at the girl and sighs. “i guess i forgot it in our dressing room. or did i drop it somewhere?”

ah, young love, is all danbi can think to herself as she watches yeonwoo fumble around with his words just as much as whatever’s in his empty pocket. she stifles a laugh at his poor excuse of, well, an excuse, and instead clears her throat and slowly nods her head in response. “oh, is that so? well, i better help look for it then - wouldn’t want something of our hyejoo’s being lost now, do we?”

(...)

“for me… the left side!” she answer readily as someone who spent too much time in front of the mirror to figure it out. nodding, jieun says, “i like the idea! since it’s a bed set with snack designs, i suppose something lively and fun would be good. some friendly interaction between us.” the suggestion sounds a little funny when she says it, but she doesn’t feel like taking it back. “do you have a preference between sitting or standing? we are pretty much the same height so…” she shrugs, not voicing it wasn’t a problem they had to think about. 

“so it works out perfectly then, since my right side is my good side,” danbi exclaims herself, a soft grinning tugging at the corner of her lips as they continue with their brainstorming. at times like these, it’s a blessing that danbi is nothing but professional, and she appreciates that jieun’s at least somewhat similar.

🌦 #GEUMDANBI

cf gigs ( 0 / 1 )

japanese debut promotions ( 2 / 3 ) @lgchyejoo, @lgcsoyoun

🦒 #BAENATHAN

explore with tz ( 2 / 2 ) @lgcparker, @eunholgc​

     (...)

     humming in thought, she ends up nodding again. “i know they probably chose this concept because of the younger members but even they’re in their twenties already so why couldn’t we do something a bit less…” she trails off, unable to figure out how to phrase her reply but figuring that danbi would get what she means, she doesn’t bother trying to finish her thoughts. “…you know.” yura laughs a little before flashing a small smile at danbi. “there’s always next year? maybe we should casually suggest ideas to the staff or something.”

“who would’ve thought that in 2023, the k-pop industry is still dressing up adult women as...” children, she wants to say, but doesn’t dare in such a public setting as their season’s greetings photoshoot. instead, like yura, she lets her words trail as her expression implies what she’s trying to say, before she sighs and shakes her head.