the phoenix from the flames

(...) “Apologies, my dear,” Pan replies flatly before he’s released and once again skips like a mountain goat down the hill to the ever-damp and rotting wood of the front porch. When he turns back to face the approaching Tohil, his eyes are shining once more with excitement. “Please try not to burn the house down with me inside please. Other than that, try not to kill my friends while we’re inside? Even weeds deserve a shot at life.” He sighs this second the latter part wistfully, as though in a perfect world weeds would be left entirely alone.

he follows pan down the hill at a slower pace, gaze taking in all of their surroundings, the god breathing deeply as well so he can take in both the sights and smells of this piece of the world so untouched by humanity for clear decades at least. he presumes people have passed by, but none of them dare enter their own deteriorated buildings, afraid of something falling on their heads or some other type of injury to be sustained.

pan eventually turns back to him with returned delight and excitement, and he thinks it shouldn’t be this easy to get passed that, but apparently it is and so there is little he can do about it, even if the fire is still smouldering angrily inside of him. he lets his dark eyes go over the wooden frame of the building before they return to the other god at those last words. and he can’t help it, he honestly can’t, the way his face shifts into something of a sneer as he takes in the god of the wild, and he then lets out a huff.

(...) He still sniffled slightly as Tohil dried his tears, his ice no longer threatened by the fire god’s heat. It was more reassuring then he could have hoped for to have Tohil’s forgiveness. He smiled a little when they finally pulled away and broke the hug. “I just, can’t believe I’ve been so blind all this time.” The irony of that hit him and he laughed a little though it was more bitter than happy. “Although given who my father is I probably shouldn’t be surprised. Being blind doesn’t always mean literally.” He’d never really experienced that true blindness Hodr was known for, but he had been blind not only to his own emotions but also to the effect his stubbornness and pride had had on those he loved most. He shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt more stupid in my entire life hyung.”

even if he’d always been ready to throw an arm around taeyong’s shoulder and have the kid lean into him slightly on occasion, none of that could ever compare to the way the boy’s arms suddenly come up and wrap themselves just as tightly around him as he is holding the kid. it’s a breakthrough of its own and his expression shifts automatically to one of warmth and love as the boy leans into him further, lets the kid have however long he needs to enjoy this possibly first hug in ages for, and then lets taeyong decide when they break apart fully.

when they do, he merely smiles down at taeyong with the same warmth as always, listens to his words and then can’t help chuckling lightly at the way taeyong refers to his father with those playful words. eventually he watches the way regret seeps into the boy’s expression again and he once more reaches out, this time to poke taeyong’s cheek with one of the long, skeletal fingers.

(...) So when the man - Tohil, Jimin is pretty sure - stops in front of him, Jimin beams at him. “There’s people wearing masks and other weird things on their heads! They’re busy dancing ‘round, and some of them just might be dead!” The demigod lets out a delighted giggle, trying desperately to come up with new lines and keep the pace of the song. “There’s blood on every surface, I can’t believe my eyes! And in my bones I feel the spooky coming from inside.”

he’s more than happy when the japanese demigod he stopped in front of takes up his song and adds a few made-up lines of his own. tohil’s creepily painted face spreads out into a wicked grin as he listens to the following words, song near perfectly on that rhythm that plays flawlessly in his head. he let’s the demigod sing as far as he can get, then easily throws an arm around the boy’s shoulders as he points over at the people currently dancing.

“oh look!” he says, and easily picks up the song again. “what’s this? they’re going round and round, they kiss, why that looks so divine - inspired! they’re gathering around to feel the music, drinking punch out of a flute. what’s this!?” he turns around as he sings, letting his eyes wander over the people around them so that he can adapt his lyrics to whatever happens around them.

“what’s this? look there! they’ve got a fancy sword. such flair! and who would ever think, and why? they’re carrying such special little things, they’ve got pumpkins and lights on strings and there’s a mask on everyone, so, now, correct me if i’m wrong this looks like fun, this looks like fun. oh, could it be i got my wish? what’s this!?”

(...) “Ready?” And before waiting for an answer, Pan does something a little impulsive and a little stupid and entirely a bad idea, but he leans in to kiss Tohil lightly on his lips an instant before the both of them shift from solid forms to smoky shadows and are practically pulled through a vortex of darkness and silence, stationary yet racing at impossibly speeds, until they take solid form once again among a mountainside covered mostly in trees except where there’s a black scar of a road wrapping around the mountain and across it where their destination lays. With the time difference, it is a bright early afternoon here, and Pan leaps down the side of the mountain to the dilapidated mansion not far below. “Here we are!”

tohil can’t help snorting when pan speaks of himself as wet and dirty with such double entendre, but he doesn’t even attempt to give a response to it. instead he’s more than willing to let the subject change, even if that means receiving an implied scolding for putting his friend on fire, and though he regrets it, he doesn’t make any promises nor does he tell the god of the wild that it would be entirely understood. because he is not a liar, and he knows that a day might come when he will put pan on fire again, and he knows that the other god’s response will not matter in the slightest to him in such a moment.

so he lets that topic of conversation pass them by as well, allows pan to put an arm around his middle as they make their way outside, even accepts the jab that is made at his willingness to play with fire, though once again he doesn’t make any promises whatsoever. he merely follows pan to the space beneath the trees, where he starts to smile lightly at the way the god of the wild asks him if he’s ready. he’s about to reply when there’s lips pressed to his own and before he can respond to that he loses physical form.

it’s not quite so unusual a thing for him, because of how often he turns to pure flame himself and loses any sight or hearing, but he is ever still aware of things then, is comfortable in his own ability. this is something different altogether, because he is not in control, and for a long moment in between there, he is not entirely certain he’ll ever manage to reform his own limbs, to find a space to occupy that is himself again. but then pan lets them solidify again in a world that is light and bright and warm and that from the first breath onwards already smells so much more like home than anything ever has in the last couple of decennia.

but his attention is not on his surroundings, his attention is on the god with him, and tohil’s hand shoots out before pan can even make it out of his reach, grabbing hold of the wild god’s arm for a lack of any clothing to take hold of and pulling him back to him. “do not,” he says, and his voice is low and lethal all of a sudden, his eyes narrowed in displease. “ever.” there is an emphasis on that word, a promise that when he says it, he means in the entirety of time still to come, even all the time spanned by gods like them. “do that again without permission.”

because he may be flirty and touchy with nearly everyone he meets and likes, but his kisses are ever his own, and he hands them out few and far in between unless when he is in a relationship - and no matter whatever they have had simmering between them since the beginning of time, they are not together like that, and he is not pleased with the line breached. so he makes sure to lock gazes with the god of the wild, to bore his eyes into those of the greek god until he’s certain that his message is received.

(...) He felt the words choking in his throat as he tried to press on. He had to say this. “I couldn’t have done that without you hyung. I would have never been able to get out there and dance if you hadn’t done what you did and I pushed you away.” He hung his head low when he felt the tears begin to spill over. “I’m just so sorry hyung. I’m sorry.” He thanked the gods that they were on the side of the ball where hopefully, no one else would witness his little break down. He couldn’t help how he was feeling though and for once in his life, he wanted to actually feel again.

the boy stumbles right into an apology and it’s so sincere and heartfelt that tohil has forgiven him within moments, even if he had nothing to forgive him for to begin with. he does let the boy speak his piece, listens to the way taeyong attempts to communicate his regret as well as his breakthrough and then there’s tears in the boy’s eyes that are rolling over his cheeks in no time and tohil is reaching out further, moving so he can stand across from the demigod, put his second arm around him too and pull him into a hug.

he has to keep his face away from anything lest he get white paint on the boy’s clothes or hair, but that doesn’t make the hug any less tight or reassuring. he only pulls away a little after a moment or two to be able to gently run his lower arm over the boy’s face and neatly dry away the tears, instantly drying his suit again as he does so so there is absolutely no trace of the moisture left within moments.

(...) When Tohil was finally alone, free from his conversation with several other fancy looking gods and goddesses Taeyong quietly approached. He fidgeted with the gold bracelets on his wrists nervously before he cleared his throat to get the fire god’s attention. “Um, hyung? Can I, Can I talk to you for a minute…please?”

the night is absolutely delightful, especially considering the fact that he’s been able to go around singing silly remakes of the songs his character sings in the movie. he’s happily chattering left and right with familiar people, making sure to have a little chat with everyone he knows, not wanting anyone to feel left out. and then, at some particular moment, he turns around to the clearing of someone’s throat and when he looks over it’s taeyong standing there, looking a little insecure and afraid, but for all that still actually talking to him, addressing him with hyung again and it feels like it’s been a lifetime since he last heard the boy use that term to call him with and it makes his heart soar instantly.

without hesitation he turns all of his attention to the boy, slings an arm around taeyong’s shoulder without an inch of doubt in his movement nor expression and beams a bright grin at the young boy - which might not look all that reassuring currently what with his painted face, but it doesn’t matter because they’re treading back into comfortable territory and he’s absolutely ready to have his little brother back in his life. “of course,” he says lightly, keeps himself back from ruffling the demigod’s hair because he doesn’t want to mess up the wig, and simply picks a glass off a nearby passing tray and takes a sip of whatever drink he’s got his hands on at that point.

open starter for the halloween ball

the ball is wonderfully decorated as always. everyone is in wonderful, inspiring costumes as always and tohil is having the time of his life - as always. this year is perhaps even better than the previous years considering he has a wonderful date to go with who is decked in an outfit that fits with his and so he quite enjoys going around greeting some people they know and having a little taste of the drinks and the food available.

but tohil wouldn’t be tohil if he didn’t want to go have fun, and so the moment he has gone through the proper initial arrival - and with permission of his lady, of course - he leaves her side to go mingle among the other people. he waits until he’s a little bit away from freya before finding a proper spot to start from, having ducked together slightly before suddenly starting to sing as he instantly sneaks up to a few of the people present in their wonderful costumes.

“what’s this? what’s this?” he chimes as he makes his way between people, angling his arms and his legs to get around them in the most comical of ways, as if he’s trying to avoid being seen even though obviously he is making even more of a spectacle in his eyes. “there’s costumes everywhere. what’s this? there’s colours in their hair. what’s this? i can’t believe my eyes i must be dreaming. wake up, jack, this isn’t fair. what’s this?”

he makes his way through the crowd, occasionally taking hold of a piece of costume fabric or a lock of coloured hair, always making sure not to touch people’s skin and sneaking about ever further.

“what’s this? what’s this? there’s something very wrong. what’s this? there’s people singing songs. what’s this? the floor is lined with human creatures laughing, everybody seems so happy, have i possibly gone daffy? what’s this!?”