"It's Time For My Animal Crackers."

we exist for love btw

still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

I mean obviously I would fuck a monster but more than that I would bond emotionally with a monster over our shared sense of alienation and rejection from a hostile universe. together we would explore our deep-seated fear of being inherently unlovable, and reassure each other of our innate value as sentient beings deserving of love and kindness. i will hold them gently, and wipe the tears from their googly eyestalk-tentacles, and something will begin to heal

and then we fuck nasty, im not a saint

quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

They evolved to handle different prey. the larger crusher claw cracks open ahrder prey like a molar tooth, whilst the smaller pincer claw rips apart soft prey similar to an incisor tooth.

theyre lobsided

oh I see! yay!