BY DESIGN

"why were you stuck in bed? and why choose this place to sneak out?”

She pointedly ignores his first question.

Alison knew what was going on the moment she stepped into the room. She wasn’t an idiot, but it did seem to take Cosima a moment to figure out she was there. “I don’t care what drug paraphernalia you’re smoking, Cosima. Honestly, do whatever you want,” she said, sitting down next to the women. “No one forced me to. I wanted to see how you were doing. You seem fine, by the looks of…this,” she said, gesturing vaguely to the pot smoke still lingering in the air. “But you cannot keep taking those out, you know that right? You really shouldn’t even be smoking anything in your state,” she said, starting to ramble before she realized she was sounding too bossy. “It’s your life, Cosima. I just don’t want to lose you before we have to.”

She took a few deep breaths of sterile air, the cannula tickling her nostrils the way they always did, and sighed at Alison's words. There was no way she could tell her sister just how much her chest hurt on a daily basis, how raw her throat was from coughing constantly, how the pot was actually easing the ache and making it easier to truck on.

✕ ░ ❥ oneandonlysawicki, suburbanxclone, evodevostonedscience, exeliixi ❜

                       ❝ — wh — w — who the hell are you ? ❞

"Oh boy."

“Yeah, and you must be Cosima, right? I was looking for Felix, but that’s alright. I was wondering when I would get to meet you.”

"s’about time      th’ last time I let someone sleep in m’ bed fo’ more than two days,” his spine straightens, chin level.  subconscious, smooth, Felix draws himself up with all the fixings of a respectable feline. silently judging her.”    they had to nude model fo’ rent.” with that, he let his body fall on the couch cushions, legs crossed.”So, if m’ bed is finally vacant. Mind tellin’ me where you’re gonna sleep? in a women shelter?” he picks up a loose hair from his shirt, releasing it in the air. fainting indifference while, in fact, he cares more than he let it show.

"You are funny, it is one of the things I love about you.. but I have trouble with your.. illness and the jokes. I do understand, but." She gave her a watery smile. It hurt her so much to see Cosima like this, but she would never give up.

"Never." She placed a loving kiss on her cheek and stood. "You go lie down, I will get you some water."

"Yeah, I know. I know. I'll try and, uh, cut back on those." And she meant it. The worst part about being sick definitely had to be the looks people kept giving her. The sadness in their eyes. She felt pathetic enough as it was. She'd never say that out loud, though; she knew she had to be thankful that there were people who cared so much for her.

"well, my mom is super german and my name’s arthur. which is pretty ordinary.

why were you inside for a week? i wouldn’t be able to stand it.”

"Ha, yeah. I guess you have a point.

"i know i look shabby. why d’you think i steal?

cosima. that’s an unusual name. why are you here?”

"Well, she looks shabby, too." Let's hope Sarah never learns that she said that.

"do i look that shabby?                it’s arthur. you?”

"No, no. That's not what I meant. I just--tend not to assume. My sister? She's kind of the same way. Does whatever she has to."

"okay. i don’t steal for fun, just so you know.”

Delphine didn’t mean to sound so cold, she knew that Cosima was doing her best considering the circumstances, but it hurt her to be joking about her illness. The love of her life was slipping away and she felt powerless. She followed after her and took a seat beside her stroking her back gently. “I am sorry, ma petit. I didn’t mean to sound so harshly. You want something to drink?”

"Hey. Don't be sorry. I know my humor kind of sucks." She offered Delphine a genuine smile, even if it was small. She turned away only to close her eyes, relishing the sensation of Delphine's hand on her back. Already she felt tired, like she could fall asleep right there. Stubborn though she was, she knew that sleep was exactly what she needed.