executive function club

Even resources for anxiety disorders focus on how normal anxiety is and how generally aside from being mildly uncomfortable it doesn't really impact people's lives or prevent them from doing stuff.

I’m so serious.

Do NOT open your doc. That document does not love you. That document wants 80k words and emotional stability. We do not have that, especially in this economy. Instead, hear me out- shiny.

Yes, shiny.

What does the cover look like. Not “a cover.” I mean the exact cover. Is it black with gold foil. Is there a tiny symbol in the corner that looks decorative but is actually a war crime in disguise.

What does the spine look like on a shelf. Would it intimidate other books. Be honest.

Bookmark. And I don’t mean rectangular. I mean a bookmark based on that sword design. Yes, the sword you have not explained. Why is it shaped like that. Why does it ruin lives.

Jewelry. There is always jewelry. Who has a necklace. Who gave it. Why does it emotionally devastate me, personally, a stranger. Which stone would be added to the chain and make the peeps go wild.

Keychains. Charms. Stickers. That one quote that would end up on a tote bag and make someone in public go “oh.” and stare into the void for 45 minutes.

Imagine the illustrations. No, go further. The exact illustrations. Posters. Full page plates that make people stop and go “wait.” Tiny ones hidden between paragraphs like little secrets. Marginalia that looks like someone annotated the book and slowly lost their mind. Are there sketches of creatures. Maps. Unreliable diagrams. Be honest, are you putting something unhinged in the corner that only makes sense on a second read-

Chapter headers. I need you to get weird about chapter headers. Are they clean and elegant or are they slowly deteriorating as the story goes on. Do they have little symbols. Do the symbols CHANGE. Is there a point where the headers start telling their own story. Hello????

The layout. Oh my god the layout. Is there a chapter where the text shifts. Where it fragments. Where it mirrors something happening in the story. Are there pages with too much space. Not enough space. A line isolated in the center like it just got exiled.

Don’t even get me started on special editions. Deckled edges. Hidden messages under the dust jacket. Endpapers with art that looks decorative until you realize it is foreshadowing and now you feel sick.

Become a little Magpie. Hoard it all. No plot, only sparkle. No book, only trinkets.

And now the evil part: this is psychology.

Your brain sees “write a book” and goes “absolutely not ❤️” that is a massive, terrifying, perfectionism-infested task. Immediate shutdown. Windows error sound.

But “what if this guy had a ring that symbolized betrayal” is tiny. Harmless. A snack. Your brain LOVES snacks. Dopamine. Curiosity. Zero pressure. So it engages. And once it engages, it starts asking questions. Oh, why betrayal. Who betrayed him. When. Oh no. Oh NO. That’s a scene. That’s a chapter-

That’s you accidentally writing again like a FOOL (lovingly). You lowered the stakes so hard your brain forgot to be scared.

This is called tricking yourself into creativity and it is both stupid and extremely effective.

You are not writing a book. You are building a cursed little treasure hoard. And unfortunately, the hoard comes with lore. Lore only YOU can create.

Executive dysfunction becomes: the task is no longer “write chapter 3” (illegal, blocked, cursed), it is “what would the chapter 3 illustration look like and why?” (harmless, delicious, suspiciously leading to writing chapter 3).

This is my Magpie Theory, from a fellow girlie with ADHD and perfectionism: your brain literally cannot handle “write 80k words coherently,” but it will handle thinking about every tiny shiny object your story could inspire. Covers, spines, bookmarks, keychains, necklaces, chapter headers, illustrations, layouts, special edition sprayed edges, marginalia that slowly becomes a villain… literally anything shiny.

If you don’t like the textures of vegetables, you can blend them up and mix them into something tasty. If you struggle to cook a proper lunch, you can just make yourself a luncbox full of snacks or sandwiches that you can easily take out the fridge later on and pick at. If snacks or ready-meals targeted at children look easier or more appealing, you can just buy them. If you want to cut the crusts off your bread or use cookie cutters to shape your sandwiches into fun shapes, do it!