1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety

it’s so hard for me to listen to heartbroken/angry breakup songs by straight men bc no matter how good the song is i’ll be like i’m not sure if i fully believe you. let’s hear her side of the story.

Out of Touch Thursday

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

this is the only out of touch thursday you can reblog this

I tried distracting a vampire by throwing rice at him, but I only had two grains with me so it didn't work. He counted them instantly. Then he asked me what I was even doing with exactly two grains of rice, and I explained how a bowl of rice tastes better if you spread it out over an entire day. I asked him if he was gonna suck my blood but he said no, he just had a lot more questions about the rice thing.

people werent ready for this post in 2011. what about now

Smacka smacka smacka

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.