God Save The King

WHY DID I LAUGH SO HARD

2015 absolutely drained me. I need abouta 2 year long nap, see you in 2017, folks. don’t fucking vote for trump 

um. good morning and what the fuck 

you know when you’re at the dentist/orthodontist and they give you that AirTube that just gets rid of all your spit and makes you feel like you met a wind god and deepthroated his tornado dick

hey iris?

hey, how are you?

i was good until i read this post, thanks

I watched WITHOUT sound at first and can I just say, big mistake.

And you just know that right around the corner that crow got into his faded orange VW Kombi van with the surfboards strapped on top and hit the beach.

This crow is 100% fucking around for no reason other than to fuck around. Birds have two main gaits depending on where they live - they put one foot in front of the other if they live on the ground, or they hop if they live in the trees. Crows live on the ground, and thus walk. They have no reason to hop like this, and they aren’t wired or built to move like this naturally. They might hop to quickly avoid danger that’s very limited, like a car tire coming at them, or to get up onto the curb, but this sort of motion has no purpose other than being fun.

@captainmalbrooke

bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce

i love it when people compliment my pets 

She looks pretty dead

thanks

i don’t think straight people will ever truly understand why many of us gay people LOVE being gay and why we would not change ourselves for the world. even the most progressive straight people, deep down, they pity us. they think we’d probably rather be straight if we could. “progressive” people always make the argument that “being gay isn’t a choice, because who would ever choose to be gay??” guess what: i didn’t choose to be gay, but i would. they’ll never understand that once we’re able to accept ourselves and find a safe community, being gay feels amazing. i love being a woman who loves women. and it’s only because of them that i’ve ever had to even think about questioning that. 

so i’m watching stranger things rn and honestly? bless this diner guy

why can’t i enjoy nice things

imagine being an underpaid overworked mcdonalds employee and getting yelled at by like 10 dweebs at once because you don’t have any of their meme sauce

*looks at own blog* goals