Sideblog for Evil Thoughts

I truly love unhealthy gains and how it’s gonna affect my body. I love feeling sluggish after stuffing myself with fast food, but I do want it forced upon me sometimes.

I got dinner down and now I can't breath right 🥴

Like, the more you eat, the bigger your stomach expands, the more you can eat in the future.

The more you overeat, the bigger your portions will become, and the more often you'll feel hungry between meals.

The more you snack, the more often your body will 'expect' to be fed.

The more fast/junk food you eat, the more often you'll feel cravings for those foods.

The fatter you grow, the less you'll be able to exercise. You'll be too big, too heavy, too tired to move yourself around. Your arms and belly will get in the way of themselves. Your body will lose its strength and tire out easier, faster. Meaning exercises become shorter, less effective. More daunting.

The fatter you grow, the less you'll WANT to exercise. All those lazy habits will add up, and you'll prefer to do something sedentary instead. The less you exercise, the easier your body will grow fatter, and the harder it will be to lose weight.

It's like... Once you start gaining weight, your body sets off a snowball effect to become even larger, even faster, and... and...

evil feeder manhandling you, dropping their belly on your back, keeping you on all fours like a pig being mounted..

feeder making you top just to tease you for how out of shape you are, forcing you to rest your belly on their back as you hopelessly try to please them..

feeder resting their belly on your back while they gently push your face back into the sheet cake they're making you eat..

You’ve crossed the line where my hand on the spoon is just a formality piggy ☺️Your gut owns you just as much as I do and it has its own hunger now… its voice gets louder with every pound you pack on, and it doesn’t need my permission to demand more. You wake up thinking about breakfast and you fall asleep dreaming about dessert. You catch yourself eyeing other people's plates like a starving dog, and that hunger just keeps growing fatter right along with you. I’m only the catalyst, big girl. You’re the one who can’t help but get wet while you’re burning down every last shred of self control you ever had.

And god the best part is just how far gone you are, knowing that even if I walked away tomorrow, you’d still be here in the same spot on the couch, still stuffing your face, still swelling up like a balloon, still chasing that full heavy feeling like it’s the only thing that makes you feel satisfied anymore. You’re becoming your own feeder, your own enabler, your own greedy downfall feeding your addiction over and over again just as much as I do. You love the way your thighs rub and jiggle when you walk, the way your belly hangs lower than it did last week, the way your clothes groan and split and give up just like you did once eating made more sense than anything else~ You’re becoming a slave to your own gluttony, and you’ll push yourself so much fatter and greedier than I could ever do to you ☺️

I truly love unhealthy gains and how it’s gonna affect my body. I love feeling sluggish after stuffing myself with fast food, but I do want it forced upon me sometimes.

One of my first jobs after I got my masters in medical anthropology was working on a team designing a culturally inclusive type 2 diabetes prevention program. I learned a lot from the nurses and doctors I worked alongside. I’ve also learned a lot from having diabetes for the last 10 years while also gaining about 300 pounds on purpose.

Prevention

A lot of this is also good advice for managing your blood sugar if you already have a diabetes diagnosis.

1. It’s not always possible if you are genetically predisposed. But you can definitely delay the onset.

2. Physical activity lowers blood sugar and decreases insulin resistance. It doesn’t have to be arduous, even just going for a walk a few times a week helps. Try to find something you enjoy. I like to swim laps at the gym.

3. Eating balanced meals and choosing complex carbs over simple ones. This means whole grains and making sure you have protein, fat and veggies in roughly equal amounts in each meal. It’s never a bad idea to have more veggies.

4. Don’t freak out about a pre-diabetic diagnosis. This is a controversial diagnosis and is not accepted by the WHO. About 50% of those who receive this diagnosis go on to develop diabetes. It’s about as predictive as a coin flip. The positive is that it can serve as an impetus to try some of these strategies to prevent or delay actual diabetes.

Management

1. Don’t freak out if you are diagnosed. This is an easy disease to manage.

2. Don’t neglect managing it. Uncontrolled diabetes has significant consequences like blindness, amputation etc.

3. Losing massive amounts of weight to “cure” diabetes doesn’t work. You may see a temporary return to normal blood sugars but you will regain the weight back just like 90% of dieters do. And when you do regain the weight your blood sugar control will likely be worse than before.

4. Ask your doctor for a continuous glucose monitor CGM. They are probably free through your insurance. They are a wearable device that transmits glucose numbers to your phone. They keep you from having to constantly prick your fingers.

5. You have many non injection options for medication. Lots of different pills.

6. Insulin works great. Many doctors will want to delay starting you on it or push weight loss meds. This is because most people gain weight on insulin. Another medication that works really well and also causes significant weight gain is Actos. This medication actually helps move visceral fat out of your liver and turns it into beneficial subcutaneous fat.

7. You are the person who decides what medications and treatments you go on. Not your doctor. There may be limits set by your insurance but if you don’t want to take a particular medication and want to instead try something else you have every right to tell your doctor this. You can also tell them you are not interested in losing weight. You can also decline to be weighed at the doctor. They are providing you a service, they are not your boss even though they have power in the interaction. This is called patient’s right of refusal and you should exercise it.