guess who’s scared shitless of what’s coming next
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@evieraeharryanne
guess who’s scared shitless of what’s coming next

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but dreams don’t come true for people like me and you
one thing i find strange about TERFism and trans-criticism is how much of it is just attractiveness politics. it seems to be the leading talking point. sure, make your points on sexual dimorphism or biological sex differences (which any normal trans woman is fully aware of already, mind you. the average transsexual is not claiming she’s experiencing period cramps lol) but so much anti-trans discourse seems to just be “well you’re ugly so you’re not a woman and i feel unsafe.” which seems…. so counter-productive to your movement. trans women, like any group of people, are nowhere near exempt from criticism, but what is the point of putting so much emphasis on such an empty and invalid viewpoint? so much of feminism seems to hark on how men only respect women they find attractive, yet the majority of your breath is spent on here pointing out physical characteristics that you seemingly think invalidate someone’s identity. how does having broad shoulders, a wide jaw, and a five o’clock shadow somehow equate to being a predatory rapist? it’s a mindset i’ve never understood. obviously it’s prevalent outside trans discourse, people just generally seem to equate ugliness with evilness, but you would think a group of individuals who posture themselves steeped and rooted in theory and academics wouldn’t weaponize such a vapid and vague talking point. (not to say only terfs do it, your average Internet Man absolutely loves to dunk on the fuckability of any given trans woman at any given time, but….. fork found in kitchen.) idk, i’ve just always found it odd. like i’m sorry but i just don’t buy into the idea that you’re supposed to be reasonably terrified of someone in a public bathroom because you think they’re ugly. i think you might just be an asshole.
Perverts
i hope you have thoughts about me that you feel a little horrified or guilty about but only during the post-orgasm clarity after you jerked off to them

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does anyone else feel like the kind of person who would be groomed into a cult or is that just me. I just feel like, given the right circumstances, i could be vulnerable to that
Worship the hand that beats you or whatever
Don’t make your younger self into your own dead wife.
Don’t make your older self into a husband you resent. Idk
Don’t make your older self into a wife you resent. Idk
if I had a wife I could never resent her that’s why i said husband
i think the most beautiful thing about being a human is the capacity to change
2027 ; i will pay you to keep your hand over my mouth

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Need a man that I can skitch or whatever…
I love fingering myself and listening to Ethel Cain.
actually losing my mind but at least i have ethel cain tickets
this one. fuck this poem.
i wanted to share this not to come off as corrective but because i actually think it really adds to the text to know that not only is it not from a poem, but that there’s a fuller version of this quote that is just as good. and it’s actually really good advice on how to a write emotion without becoming sentimental. james hall, the interviewer, is himself a poet worth looking into if you’re unfamiliar.
James Hall: I love that you risk sentimentality in the poems. Can you talk about how you construct a poem’s emotion without letting that emotion subsume the poem? What tools are available to a poet to mitigate emotion successfully?
Richard Siken: I didn’t see it as risking anything, and I suppose the tool for mitigating emotion is undercutting, but I’ll try to answer the question sideways: Even if you don’t believe in God, you have to believe in narrative. Things happen, one after another, world without end. Just because you’re self-aware doesn’t mean you can change what’s happening. Eventually someone is going to break your heart. Eventually something you love is going to be taken away. And then you will fall to the floor crying. And then, however much later, it is finally happening to you: you’re falling to the floor crying thinking “I am falling to the floor crying” but there’s an element of the ridiculous to it—you knew it would happen and, even worse, while you’re on the floor crying you look at the place where the wall meets the floor and you realize you didn’t paint it very well and when you’re having sex with your next lover on this very floor they will also notice that you didn’t paint it very well and they will think less of you for it. And then you think “Is that sentence too long?” And then you have to hold the contradictions of sobbing uncontrollably and wondering about grammar in your head at the same time. I think if you are true to the entire experience, not just the sad part, you don’t risk sentimentality because you’re not overloading the experience with fake, melodramatic feeling. I also hear that whispering helps.
here’s to everyone who looked for this in crush and was confused because it isn’t there. the original interview is kind of hard to source nowadays because of how often it’s misattributed: https://web.archive.org/web/20060501211545/http://www.gulfcoastmag.org/GCIssues/gc18.1%20folder/18.1%20Samples/18.1IntSiken(Hall).html
i can’t believe that im still hoping and hoping and hoping and

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That shit your daddy smoked in Vietn a a a a a am
I do not want to be loved gently. I want to be understood violently.