- e.t

“There are some feelings you will never find words for; you will learn to name them after the ones who gave them to you.”

Where were you when I was still kind?

i don’t pay attention to those who speak ill of me, the ocean is fluent in every language  and even she knows when to speak. never concern yourself with the chatter of tiny rivers.

Every 7 years, the cells in your entire body will be destroyed and replaced with new cells. I’ve been told that one day, I will have a body you’ve never touched before. This would be comforting if your touch ended with my skin, if you never held my name like a religion and pronounced my body like its prayer. Have you ever stepped inside an abandoned church before?  I tell people I’m getting better, that I don’t think about you that often anymore, that my cells are no longer pews filled with ghosts when the truth is I am like a home that has never known God until it tasted loss for the first time. We say time heals, scab slowly spreading over wound, that in 7 years I will have forgotten you entirely. I think, whomever believes this has never really been touched before.   You are the marrow of my bones,  graveyard buried beneath the church.  7 years can pass, 14, 21, and I swear the mere thought of you will still be powerful enough to bring every cell of mine to its god damn knees.

Your soul is so beautifully written,

The time I’m going to give up is the time that I’m not breathing anymore. The time I’m going to stop loving you, will be the time that the word love becomes extinct. The words that I always wanted to utter in front of you will be the words stuck forever in my head. I always loved you and will always do. I may not be able to say or show it, but I know that you can feel it. Why do you need to pretend that you’re numb? I know you can feel me, you ignore me because you’re scared or confused. I, too, am confused of your feelings. No need to be scared darling, I am here. Letters that are kept, and by the time you will be able to read this, is the time when you’re already ready. You used to call me your angel, sent straight down from heaven. And now you left me hanging on the tree of buzz light years, where we oath infinity together. Someone else captured your tempted eyes and soul, and now I ask you, Will I be able to see myself in you? Time flies. People change. Love fades. Love is like a rose with thorns and as the time passes by, it withers. True love is hard to find. And so is the right man for me, but I’ll be willing to take risk, just to be with you and if you’re not. It’s time to say goodbye and part ways. There’s a big metal wall that separates us. I can’t hear nor see you, but with faith, I can feel you. I whispered to the wind, and say my words, pleading to them for you to feel my love. In time, this wall will be gone and in that time, I hope that your world still revolves for me.

“We are afraid to talk about what hurts because talking requires breath and there are certain memories we’d rather suffocate. Perhaps this is the reason we write, because sometimes, words breathe better than we can.” —Maza Dohta