Just Like You

bootcamp roomies :(

@ nasa do not worry ……. we have found, the brightest star … the most beautiful galaxy

I’M JEJFJEJDJF

Just when I think I’m done crying, I see him on my page and anywhere on social media because the algorithm knows that I’m talking about him and looking him up more than ever. I look at posts about him and see how he was. Even though I never met him, I just really wish I had, even though I didn’t know him personally. He seemed like a nice guy, and maybe I’m getting the parasocial view of him that I’ve always had since I was younger. Still, I think that was the real him, the kindest and most giving person, and just really funny and talented in many ways. And I am just going through the ups and downs of this, being sad, upset, and angry, and then back to crying just when I think I’m done. But the thoughts of what could’ve been and the things that he could’ve done and showed people how he really was just makes me go through all of it again. I feel like he and the boys need justice in a way? I don’t know if this makes sense, but I just needed to get it off of my chest. I also think this hit me really hard because I’ve never really been into something like this in my life, like I have one direction. Everything about this situation just feels off. And I also feel like I should be over grieving him because it’s been 12 days, but I just can’t. And if it’s hitting me and a lot of other people really hard, I can’t imagine the people that were closest to him.