Golden State Of Mind

Charlotte Eriksson

(via

alunit

)

 .

You are walking in the dead of night through the woods. Ahead of you on the path, you see a giant coiled up snake. You feel fear. You wonder if you should kill it. You think about running away but you have somewhere you need to be. You struggle internally about what to do. 

Then suddenly the clouds in the sky part and the moonlight shines through. You see that what you had mistook for a snake is actually a coil of rope. All of your tension and struggle vanishes. You walk past the rope without a second thought. 

The ego is like the snake. It doesn’t exist. But it seems to exist so long as we don’t look closely enough. And, like the unreal snake, the ego can make us have very real experiences of fear and confusion. 

Of course, the person walking through the woods who sees this snake might think they have to overcome their fear of snakes. They might think they have to learn snake-handling. Or they might want weapons training. All of that is missing the point. Look closer and the snakeness vanishes. 

The ego has byproducts such as fear, hate, obsession, and needy desire. We can try to tackle each of those in their numerous forms one by one or we can get at their source: the ego. 

So what is the ego? The ego is the collection of identities and identifications that you have mistakenly fallen into the habit of assuming are “you.” It is like the rope believing itself to be a snake. 

What is the difference between me and my ego? You are alive. You are the feeling of existence. The ego is not alive even though at times it may seem to have a life of its own. In fact, the ego is more like obsolete technology than it is like a living thing. 

What defines the ego? Everything that you identify with that aren’t inherently awareness/existence.

The Body. Every identity you may make of your body is part of the ego. That includes gender, skin color, physical appearance, abilities, disabilities, and so on. All of these may change throughout a single lifetime. Bodies are born and bodies die. The nature of awareness/existence, however, is formless. When you cling to any particular form as “me,” that is ego–mistaken identity. 

The Mind. Judgments and perceptions also shape your ego. Who/what you consider yourself to be shapes who/what you see others and the world as being, and vice-versa. The mind is a tool for understanding our role in the world and enacting that role. However to mistake yourself to be defined by that role is ego. All roles are temporary. And when the mind’s use in judging, defining, and perceiving becomes fixed, then you create a prison out of your own thoughts. 

The Story. Your story of your life situation is not you either. Where you come from, what struggles you have faced and are facing, your dreams and ambitions for the future. All of that is a nice story but it is ultimately meaningless. A blade of grass has no such story yet it is no less alive than you are. 

Past and Future will dominate the minds of people whose egos are largely defined by their stories. The present only seems to exist for them as a means to an end and it is largely covered up with labels. 

The Pain. Every experience of suffering, fear, and pain that you have undergone but haven’t forgiven forms together into the ego. This comprises what triggers you into certain emotional states of fear and suffering. Forgiveness is a virtue not merely because it is noble but because it frees you from the ego’s triggers. Early childhood and romantic relationships seem to play into this strongly, as well as traumatic experiences. 

The Anxiety. A constant background of being ill-at-ease is a symptom of egoic consciousness. No matter how much you get or achieve, something seems to be lacking, even if only slightly. There is always something to worry about, something to need, something to achieve. 

How to destroy the ego? As I have touched upon before, you cannot destroy something that isn’t real. You cannot “kill” the snake. All you can do is find out just how unreal it is. Here are some major methods:

Daily meditation. The impact and influence of this practice is inexplicable with words yet also repeatedly demonstrated in myriad scientific studies. 

Daily mindfulness. Always keep as much attention within yourself as you have going outward through the senses. See the changes in mood and thought that overcome you throughout the day. Don’t believe everything you think and feel. The book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is majorly beneficial. 

Forgiveness. The burden of the past has a large part in the structure of the ego. Learning to forgive will free you from re-enacting the same cycles of suffering from the past. 

Gratitude. The ego thrives off of needing things. It gives the illusion of being incomplete and then urges you to find ways to complete it. Learning to practice gratitude puts you in a place of abundance rather than lack and counteracts this egoic tendency. 

Compassion. Tonglen meditation is a tangible way to practice compassion. It helps us extend our consideration beyond ourselves to others and urges us to go beyond our limiting perspectives and identities. 

Be present. Whether you are recalling the past or thinking of the future, it only ever happens in the present. Everything that has ever happened has only happened in the present. Never lose touch with the present because that is life itself. Constantly recognize the here and now as this living moment. This is part of mindfulness as well. 

The ego is not personal. Recognizing the ugliness and the beauty of your ego shouldn’t be taken personally. Don’t fear the ugliness, don’t fawn over the beauty. Awaken from the illusion of misidentification.