fall deeper and deeper, the sirens are singing your song

__

If ever there was a day that Lily couldn’t make jokes in the middle of a crisis, she knew it would be when they truly lost. The easy banter was part of what kept her going. It allowed her just enough sense of normalcy to fight another day because it was worth it. At the severity of his look, Lily couldn’t help but give him the cheekiest grin she could muster as she suggested, “Are you trying to tell me that REM isn’t the greatest band known to mankind?” she asked, giving him a playful wink. Even she knew that was a hateful stretch, and one she wouldn’t back, even if they were far from the worst. “Besides, we both know it’s got to be Killer Queen or nothing,” she teased. Lily laughed, shaking her head, “You’ll be getting so many free coffee’s because they’ll be looking for an excuse to talk to you. Personally, I don’t see the problem. Use what you got baby,” she joked. 

Though the parallels were hard to see, and frankly, much more prominent between him and Marlene, they still resided between her and Evan. Lily didn’t doubt that it was partially why the three of them worked so well together and apart. Evan might talk about her as though she was an angel, but she didn’t doubt that he knew the lengths she would go if necessary. Lily would make the hard calls that no one else wanted to, and if she had to, she would get her own hands dirty if it ever came to it. Their innate understanding that despite the cause being necessary, important, and wholly vital, it wasn’t why they were fighting. Above all else, their people, the people they considered theirs, would always come first, and everything else could be damned. His words caused a lump in her throat, but she nodded without an ounce of hesitation, “You know they are. I’d never let anything happen to them, and I’d knock any amount of sense as necessary into them. Same goes for Ren. Anything happens to me, he’s yours. Everyone else would suffocate him I think, which would only make him more reckless.” 

War would be easier if it could be won on a superior moral compass alone. However, she knew that wasn’t the case, and as much as it loathed her to admit it, they would have to fight if they wanted to win. Fighting didn’t mean being on the defense all the time, and as much as they wanted to believe that it was okay because the people they were fighting against were awful, she wasn’t sure it really worked that way. Still, she was prepared to do it anyways, because they couldn’t allow this to continue, and someone had to stand up to them, even if it meant getting a little black on their soul. Squeezing his side as he kissed her head she nodded, “Okay. You are better at it, and for now what we’re doing works, I won’t argue that,” she agreed, before laughing softly, “I’ll be sure to tell him you said that. He’ll be terribly jealous that you showered me in brilliant compliments; he’ll have to start getting creative if he wants them to compare,” she winked. Laughing, she shook her head, “For fuck sake, I’m going to, though knowing James it’s going to have the bloody opposite effect. Just you wait, he’s going to start claiming you’re his friend one of these days,” she teased, laughing harder as he got her with the towel. 

It was hard not to worry these days, but then, Lily figured that came with the job description. If she wasn’t worrying about Evan, she was worrying about Ren, or Nellie and Bas, or Remus, Sirius, and James, or Marlene, or Alastor and Suri, or Eleanor, or any number of the people she sent on a mission because even if this was what they had signed up for, she was the one that had sent them head first into danger. She was the one that gave the order, and all at once, she completely understood why Alastor and Kingsley were as serious and paranoid as they were. Despite his words being flippant and not altogether truthful, they did reassure her, and she gave him a smile, “Good. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. You do, and besides, you deserve to be swept up by a burly firefighter, because I mean have you seen them?” she asked. 

Nodding, she listened intently and sighed, “It’s good he’s not currently looking, and it’s probably the best time to act because of that. Did Marlene fill you in about the potential mole? Someone tipped her off about James. I don’t know if that’s a DE issue or one that’s personal to Sebastian, but if there’s any other sympathizers we don’t know about, now would be a good time to know. Even if we can’t convert them to our side, it’d be nice to know who isn’t necessarily a main threat.” 

.

"No," Evan said, almost drawing back in horror.  "REM is fine, but you would tell me, a gay man on the cutting edge of culture in this and every other century, that REM is the best there is?  Are you trying to hurt me?" he said, aghast.  He couldn't keep it up for long though and then broke into a wide grin.  "Fuck, Queen, there we go, you are redeemed.  God save Queen, Freddie Mercury smiles down at you from rocker heaven."  Evan smirked and nodded. "You say that like I don't already get everyone trying to butter me up already. If they aren't trying to get me to marry up and have lots of little hellion pureblood spawn they want to use me to get close to Asshole in Chief, so you know.  If I was into xenophobic racists I would have it made."

Lily might have been everything good in the world, all that sugar and spice and everything nice, but she had bones of steel underneath it and that was why Evan had trusted her.  It was what had drawn him to her initially, that juxtaposition, that it was possible for someone to be both.  And it was why he trusted her now, and he nodded, his expression softening from jokester to sincere. "I do know.  Thank you."  He squeezed her shoulder. "You know it.  If anything happens, I'll take care of your people too.  And I know that means more than Ren too. You have a whole fucking entourage that I'll take care of for you.  Even if it won't be necessary, because nothing happening to you ever, if I have anything to say about it."

Evan knew there was no way that any of them were coming out of this completely clean but if he could get through it with the people he loved only becoming slightly tarnished, he'd do what it took.  He might already be doing more than his share, but Evan couldn't care less.  He would work himself to the bone if it meant saving them an ounce of the bullshit he had to wade through every day. "Good, don't argue with me, I win most of the time out of sheer stubbornness," he said with a toothy grin.  Though it faded into something of a pout a few moments later.  "No, I don't want him to be my friend," he said and made a face.  "Gross.  Everyone I really truly want to intimidate just wants to like me, it's so frustrating.  What do I have if I don't have the fear of my dearest friends significant others?"

Evan dressed quickly enough and frowned at his appearance in the mirror, ruffling his fingers through his wet hair for a moment and finally calling it good.  Or as good as it could get anyway.  He wrinkled his nose.  God he was getting old before his time.  "I deserve the world, darling," he said airily, not letting himself get caught up in the negativity.  "You should have held out for a fireman.  It's something about the uniform.  Very attractive."

He had been wondering along the same line ever since Marlene had told him about the tip about James and let out a soft sigh.  "Yeah, Marl told me.  So there is someone else, but fuck if I know who it is.  I don't want to smoke them out either, and just put them on the chopping block.  I'm keeping my eyes and ears open as much as possible.  See if I can find out anything."  He shook his head.  "The thing with these people is that they are all out for themselves.  Sometimes they could help us or look like they are, but they're really just kicking out the competition so they can swoop in and take control.  Why do you think so many top officials died that night?  It's all a fucking powerplay."

___

When it came down to it, there were very few people from his past that Nate still associated with. He had the freedom of cutting out the ones he didn’t like, and some of the ones he had enjoyed had made that choice for him. Evan hadn’t been one of them, and Nathan had been infinitely grateful for it. Growing up together had left the both incredibly aware of the scars that came with their upbringing, and the burdens that were placed on them from it. Nathan had red in ledger the day he was born, at least he had always been meant to. Evan had been damned to a similar fate. They might as well use it for the right side. It might not save them in the end, but it could save everyone else. 

There was a distinct comfort in knowing that someone else understood that, and that he didn’t have to sugar coat such an ideal around him. Instead of talking though, he could always count on Evan to get completely fucked with him, and that was more than enough. Grinning, Nate gave a casual, “No,” before moving further into the living room, arms still full. At this next comment, Nathan cheekily replied, “Only if you ask nicely,” and winked. Sitting on the floor, resting his back against the couch, Nathan let his head fall back against the cushion gently, “I don’t know. But whatever the fuck we drank has me absolutely wrecked,” he bitched, taking a sip of the healing potion in his hands. 

Thank fuck for modern potion making and the fact that they’d finally made something useful with it. Snorting, Nate complained, “It wasn’t for lack of trying. I distinctly remember you flopping down on my couch and refusing to move. Something about it being the most comfortable thing you’ve ever laid on,” he mimicked, tipping his head back to stare at him. “You must have been well passed drunk because I know for a fact that while that couch is nice, it’s not that nice,” he teased.

.

Evan was a man who loved his friends dearly, and fiercely and he clung to the very few people he'd come to trust.  But sometimes it just got to be too fucking much, being around so many people that were trying to save him when he very much didn't want to be saved.  He didn't believe he could be.  And in those moments when he felt like he couldn't take the fucking compassion anymore, he went to go see Nathan.  Nathan understood that there wasn't any happy ending for them, or at least that it was a very distant possibility, not a given.  He could just be with Nate without feeling like he had to be better or different for them, he could just be the alcoholic fuck up he was and it was okay.  They were okay.  

"What, fuck me wasn't nice enough for you?" he asked, smirking even as he downed the hangover cure, smiling wider as it started to work and the light didn't feel like it was stabbing him in the eye anymore.  He let out a low sigh and ran his fingers through his messy hair. "What, did you go and hone standards since the last time I crashed here?  That's tragic."  He snorted and shook his head.  "Yeah I don't remember anything past the fifth drink, but my mouth feels like an ashtray and there is a small potential I'm still a little drunk."  

Evan made a face over at Nate, something very close to a pout before sighing dramatically. "Thwarted again by my own love of worn in cushions.  I guess I'll have to give up the dream for good now, that's embarrassing."  He patted the cushions.  "But they are very comfortable.  You forget how often I wake up on the floor.  I dream of lumpy couch cushions.  I lust for them."  He ran a hand over his face.  "I can't even remember if I was drinking away anything particular last night, so I guess that means I was effective."

where: ministry of magic archive when: january 20th, afternoon who: open

The Ministry’s Archives spanned several stories and seemingly endless shelves. Regulus sometimes wondered how much space they would make by digitalising everything, and how much easier it would be to navigate. But the Ministry had always been stubbornly old-fashioned, especially when it came to newer muggle technology. Still, there was something charming and comforting about the rows of tomes and scrolls, centuries of recorded history and events sitting side by side on shelves. Regulus had spent the last couple weeks, recording, organising and cataloguing recent events. So much had happened, and it was the ethos of the Archive to record as much as possible, including many perspectives. Footsteps approaching from behind pulled him out of his thoughts, and Regulus turned to face the sound. “Can I help you find something?” he asked.

.

Evan made a pretty solid point of staying as far away from the Ministry as much as possible. It wasn't most of the time of course, since he had to follow Rodolphus around like a lost puppy, soothing his ego and trying to temper the advice he gave him, half good, half awful, walking the fucking tightrope of his life.  But for now he was at the Ministry on purpose, on his own time, which made his skin crawl in and of itself.

But now he was here, in the archive on purpose.  Not because he wanted to look anything up, but because he was looking for the guy that tended to hang around here.  When he caught him, Evan immediately put the most severe look he could on his face and looked Regulus up and down.  "I was looking for that guy that's supposed to be taking good care of my sister, but I don't know if you're him, you look a little too reedy for my taste."

Evan didn’t need to say any more, Alice understood. She’d always understand. And her services had always been more than just sex or companionship. Of course, she’d never charge Evan for a visit like such. His sexuality and right to privacy didn’t have a price. She moved from the doorway, reaching out to press her hand to his shoulder. It was a simple gesture, one which would, to any onlooker, suggest he’d been expected. “Make yourself at home, you know where things are,” she told him. She watched him walk into the place before she swung the door shut behind them.

She moved smoothly, getting herself a glass and helping herself to the alcohol Evan had chosen himself. Precisely, she poured her drink before returning the stopper to the glass decanted. With a tap of her wand and words murmured in Turkish ( because she so enjoyed casting in both English and Turkish. And she also enjoyed the confusion it caused ), which caused the decanter to find it’s way back to it’s spot in her vast liquor cabinet. Alice held up her glass in cheers before taking a sip. Moving, she went to sit on the chaise lounge. “Come, let’s catch up,”

.

There were very few people that Evan trusted knowing most things about him, so the fact that he trusted something so secret with someone who wasn't inside his exclusive inner circle was nearly wildly out of character.  But there was the sad fact that he'd tried to do something with her on the first occasion he'd been a client and it had been a big embarrassment for the both of them.  Probably.  Evan remembered very clearly being mortified and considering hiding away somewhere small and dark with a bottle of whiskey for at least a week.  

But unlike the other unfortunate times he'd ended up in a similar situation, Alice didn't make him feel awful about it on top of everything else.  She was a uniquely kind woman, and Evan had come to appreciate her and the very comfortable kind of closet she let him climb into when he needed to.  "You are a goddess even without the getup," he told her now, smiling gently at her and lifting the drink he'd poured himself in a sort of toast.  

"So who's heart are you capturing in your very capable hands tonight?" he asked, and then let out a soft laugh. "Oh I know you can't tell me, I just wish you would. I'll just have to make it all up in my head."  He sat down near her and heaved a sigh. "What is there to catch up on?  My life is perfect excepting the one thing I keep seeing you for, my star is on the rise, and the only things keeping me down are a penchant for drink and pretty boys."  

___

Unfortunately, Nellie knew without a doubt that he was right. The only way they were getting out was together, and likely, coupled with their parents demise. It was an unsettling thought, one that Nellie tried not to dwell on at the moment because she didn’t currently have to. However, she and Evan both knew what happened to people in their family that tried to leave. “Exactly. When we leave, it’s together,” she agreed. Nellie just hoped that eventually they really would find such freedom. Smiling, she hummed at the idea, “That would be amazing. We could start over entirely and ditch the weight that comes with such a heavy last name,” she agreed. It was a burden she wanted to be free of one day. 

Knowing that Evan was mostly teasing was a comfort though. Part of her knew that no one would be good enough in his eyes, but then, the same sentiment could be returned when it came to him. However, she knew that Evan respected her decision, and knew that Regulus was good to her at the very least. An ungraceful snort escaped her as she shook her head, “Oh yeah, you’re terrifying alright,” she teased. In truth, Evan was an intimidating person, to anyone outside those that knew him well. 

At his words, Nellie leaned into his hands gently and then gave him a soft laugh. “I love you anyways,” she replied, before adding, “Besides, even if you want to, you don’t.” Nellie wasn’t an older sibling, so she didn’t understand on the same level, but she wanted him safe too, so she could see where his fears came into play. The cheeky response slipped before she could think better of it, “Well if you don’t want me to follow you into danger, don’t go into danger.” realizing the words were spoken aloud, she gave him a sheepish look and shrugged, “Within reason.” His words made her smile softly, and she murmured, “Thank you. We both deserve something more though. Everyone does.”

.

It seemed almost too good to be true, the idea of actually leaving this life behind.  He knew that Nellie wasn't as subject to his father's lectures as he was, simply because she was a woman and couldn't carry on the family line like father so desperately wanted.  But Evan heard it all, about the glory of the Rosier name, the family mandate to go and have pureblooded heirs, the importance of shoring up the family tree for the years to come.  Boring lecture on boring lecture, each year becoming more and more fraught as he didn't choose a wife and settle down.  The way he talked made the Rosier name feel like a prison in which death was the only escape.  "Someday," he said softly, a small smile on his face.  "We take down the regime, make the world a little better for everyone and maybe we'll finally have the strength to get away from all of this.  Really start over."

Evan didn't often go in for dreams, he wasn't the type to really think things would work out.  But he had a spark of real hope singing through him right now, maybe brought on by the fact that Nellie was with him now, that they were a team in this crazy act they were doing.  Maybe it was actually possible.  He knew the high would wear off soon, when he was back in the lion's den, but for now, he felt hope.  "If he's not shaking when he formally asks me for your hand at whatever point in the future, I'm going to be extremely disappointed," he said finally, something almost gleeful in his voice, as if it all was actually possible.

He surprised himself by laughing a few moments later, that strange kind of high carrying him over and he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, alright.  Look at me, being bullied by my kid sister." His smile dimmed a little when Nellie said he deserved something too and he sighed and kissed her forehead.  He didn't, but it was sweet of her to say so.  "Yeah.  I guess that's the business we're in now.  Giving everyone more.  It's fucking weird, you know?  We were never taught to think of anyone but ourselves and now here we are."

___

At his words, Nellie couldn’t help but laugh a bit. The idea that her brother, who was seemingly infallible, could be taken taken out by her was almost funny, especially because she would rather cut off her own arm than hurt him. However, more than anything, Nellie just hoped it wasn’t going to be the case, because she knew it was an all too real possibility. Evan would go to the ends of the Earth to protect her; fight through heaven and hell itself if the situation called for it. If the circumstance ever called for it, Nellie knew that he would give his life for hers, and she hoped that day never came to pass. Nellie wasn’t sure it was something she’d be able to live with. 

“Well you know, bravery is a virtue and all that,” she teased, giving him a small nudge. His smile eased her, because she knew it was a well meaning compliment. Nellie had never been good at making herself smaller or someone who she was never meant to be. She stuck to her convictions always, even if she had to be quiet in the ways in which she did. Standing back and idly letting the world go to hell would never be something she could do. 

“I promise,” she murmured, knowing that it was the truth. She knew that things were going to get ugly, and that they were going to need to stay as far away from the heart of that as possible. “I know. It’d be easier if he was actually as stupid as we like to pretend he is,” she murmured. Rodolphus wasn’t dumb though, and one wrong move on their part would have him looking at them, loyalty be damned. Giving him a guilty smile, she leaned into him gently as he kissed her head, and then nodded against him. “I know. I just - I’ve never been good at the whole superiority thing. I need to be better about it though. It’s not even like they’re my friends,” she murmured. Nodding, she gave a hum, “I know. I’m sure our absence will be noticed after too long,” she agreed. 

.

"Yeah, yeah, Penelope Rosier, the Virtuous, that's how everyone is going to remember you," Evan said, giving her a small smirk.  Now that he'd let out some of the emotion butt fart that he'd been bottling up so he would seem normal among the loyalists outside the door, he was working hard to put it all back away.  Hide everything behind vacant smiles and cruel eyes.

Evan heaved a sigh and let out a light, unamused laugh.  "I know.  There's a possibility he's even smarter than I am.  But at least he's proud.  He's proud and he's self-important.  That's what's going to bring him down.  It's why he overlooks things every once and awhile."  He gave Nellie a tight smile.  "It's why he overlooks us, at least.  For now."  

He leaned over and ruffled Nellie's hair gently before pushing it back into place. "That's right. You can't start thinking about them as your friends, because they never were and never will be.  Cruelty is the norm here, that is par for the course, but your compassion is going to get you in trouble if you're not careful.  Just be a bastard like me when you have to be around these guys."  He tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed.  "Alright, back into the fray.  I'm going to go clap Rod on the back and tell him how amazing he is until I slip into an alcohol induced coma."

___

Whether it was because humor had always been her coping mechanism of choice, or because she just never knew when to take things seriously, Lily always tried to lighten the mood when she could. “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine,” she sang immediately in response, giving him a grin, before adding, “As long as you use that particular R.E.M. song to start every ceremony,” she teased. Despite her jokes, Lily knew that she was very much human, and very much not a celestial being, as much as she might wish to be among them instead. “That’s what I figured, which is why I think it’s utterly perfect for you, and why it will also be waiting for you once you’re clean,” she winked. Giving a soft hum, she nodded, “I know, but it’s stupid nonetheless. If you want, I can either clean the clothes you have or set some James good ones out for you,” she offered, knowing it might actually be more helpful. 

Giving a soft smile, she gave a hum, “It would be nice, wouldn’t it. Unfortunately, they always seem to take on the traits we least want them to have,” she mused. Lily really did understand what it was like having a sibling in the field, and in some ways, she adopted all the younglings as her own, even if they weren’t hers by blood. She knew without a doubt that if they ever lost one of the younglings that it would be something they never fully recovered from. However, if Evan lost Bas or Nellie, she knew he would be lost as well. “Of course, you know I’ve got an endless supply around here. Merlin knows we wouldn’t function without it,” she teased, smiling softly. 

Laughing, she shook her head, “I don’t think the universe works that way love. I mean, I’d like to think my karmic good has built up enough that I could get one free pass with Peter, but I doubt that’d be the case. None of us are going to come out of this with clean hands,” she shrugged, “but if it creates a better world and stops others from having to get their hands dirty? We’ll do what we have to. Besides, I don’t want an afterlife that you’re not in. It’d be dreadfully boring,” she complained. 

There were days that Lily wished that Evan had never been put in this position. She could tell herself over and over that it was his choice, but that didn’t make her fully believe it. Evan had always been caught between a rock and a hard place, between two worlds that begged him to be show two different sides of him. Sometimes she wondered if he really had a choice or if it had been survival. It wasn’t lost on her that they asked the most out of him, and while she knew Evan would never see it this way, she knew the universe wouldn’t look to them any kinder for asking him to make such sacrifices. Lily gave him nod, knowing that there were no words to really make any of this better. 

“Good, because I will kick your arse if I find out you didn’t call for back up when you needed it,” she warned, and then made a face as he got water on her. Trying to contain her laughter she shouted, “Oi, I don’t need a bath I already had mine.” Shaking her head, Lily gave a more sincere smile as she nodded, “None of you are expendable. I mean it Evan. You, Nellie, and Bas are not worth losing over this cause do you hear me?” she reminded. Lily wasn’t blind, she knew that Evan would be more likely to see this through than call for back up, but Lily was selfish. She couldn’t do this without him. For her to lead, for her to do her job, she needed to know that she had her people by her side. At his words, she nodded, “Well that’s good at least. I’m glad to hear it. We’ll be ready once they start looking.” 

.

Evan let out a small snort and peeked out at Lily to give her a severe kind of look. "Don't you even joke about using REM, you deserve a much better caliber of artist than that, thank you very much," he said, wrinkling his nose.  "Even if that is a decent song." He considered for a moment then smiled a little. "Yeah, dress me in your beau's clothes, people will probably think I'm turning over a new leaf and finally dressing properly.  The ladies in accounting will swoon."

Lily was good at comforting words, even if she managed to stick fairly close to the truth.  Though Lily Evans version of the truth was a little more rosy than anything Evan would admit to. But he still let himself be comforted a little.  When it came down to it, Evan knew that Lily knew his heart.  If it ever came down to saving him over someone like Nellie or Bas, Evan was certain Lily would get to them first.  Even if the little shits tried to take after him as much as the possibly could.  "You know if I ever get knocked out of commission, those two are yours.  I'm counting on you to knock sense into them too.  They can't all be like me, the world only needs one of me, any more than that would be too much."

He felt something like regret when Lily talked about none of them getting out with their hands clean and felt a small clench in his chest.  Evan was practically born with blood on his hands, but Lily never deserved that.  Lily was so much better than that.  There were very few people in this world that were actually good, and Lily was one of them.  Like Nellie in a way, someone that managed to see something in the world that other people didn't.  And just like Nellie, Evan wished he could protect her from the awful parts, even if she was already well aware.  Evan sighed and kissed the top of her head before moving away.  "Still, I'd prefer if you leave most of the dirty work to me.  I'm better at it.  You're basically an angel walking among us mortals.  Tell your boy toy I told you so, I still want him to be extremely jealous of me and how much you enjoy my company." He winked at her.  "Also tell him you had me naked in your bath and then you gave me his clothes," he added with a wicked grin, adding to it all by slapping Lily on the ass as he passed, towel slung around his waist.  

Evan could nearly feel the worry that Lily had for him and it almost reminded him of that sense that he'd get from his mother when he was young, before she'd completely written him off.  Like someone trying to save someone that was already gone, some kind of weird fucking Persephone with one foot in death already.  He almost wanted to tell her to stop, to just let him go, since he was half gone already.  But he also didn't want to break her heart like that either, and ended up just giving her one of his devil-may-care smiles.  "Oh you know when it comes down to it, I'm not going to let myself die. I'm too pretty and I haven't been swept off my feet by a burly firefighter yet. I have too much to live for."  

He ran his fingers over his wet hair and sighed a little.  "Fucker in Chief knows someone is leaking stuff somewhere, but after the win it's not the first thing on his plate.  He's gloating.  So he's looking the other way.  If there's anything else you want me to get done, now is the time."

–

It’s better forgotten. Bas knew his cousin was probably right, but that didn’t make forgetting any easier. How could he? Growing up he was always just as close to Evan and Nellie as he was with Rod, if not more so. But Rodolphus was his first best friend and first protector. More than anyone else, he believed Rod would have his back. He’d even stand up for Bas in front of their father, their very first enemy. They’d always had differing views, sure, especially once Bas got sorted into Hufflepuff; but they had each others’ backs. Now, he couldn’t help but feel that Rodolphus had been using him the entire time just like his father and uncle. 

A small smile twisted the corner of his lips at Evan’s string of profanities. Rabastan knew he and Nellie were just about ready to die if it meant protecting him – and everyone else – from Rodolphus in the future. But that was what he hated. He didn’t want either of them doing anything stupid on his behalf. Bas and his cousins had always known that Rod was generally crueler and held more steadfast to their parents’ beliefs, but none of them had expected he’d turn on them. It was supposed to be the four of them against the world. 

“I should have seen it coming.” Bas pressed his lips together after speaking, determined to leave it as Evan had suggested. The bartender handed them each a drink, and Rabastan clinked his glass against Evan’s before downing nearly half of it. He slammed the glass back down onto the bar, wincing slightly at the burn. “How am I doing? Fuckin’ grand, brother.” The buzz was at least making him feel a bit better. “Work is great, at least. Supposed to be going on another trip soon, which I’m looking forward to…” Suddenly, something occurred to him. “But with everything going on with Rod, if you and Nellie need extra help…I can always tell Emmeline I can’t. Not sure if it’d go over well, but hell, I haven’t given her a reason to dislike me yet,” he said with a chuckle. “What about you, aside from the obvious awfulness?”

.

No matter the fact that Bas and Nellie kept getting older just like he did, he couldn't look at either of them and not think of how they were as children, bright faced, full of hope that had slowly died more and more as the world they were forced to live in crushed it.  Even now, even with Rabastan as an honest to god adult, sitting next to him with a drink in his hand, he just saw that sweet kid he used to try to protect from bullies on the playground.

"No, I should have," he said with a soft sigh, feeling his breath catch in his throat. He cleared it and took a long swallow of his drink. "I should have known.  You shouldn't have to worry about shit like that, it was my job."  He pursed his lips and gave Bas a tight smile.  "I knew he was getting more and more...out there.  I knew he was getting more dangerous.  I just ignored it because I thought..."  Evan shrugged.  "Who cares what I thought, it was stupid and I was wrong."

Evan sighed.  "Might do you some good, get out of her for awhile," he said softly after a moment.  "And don't worry about me and Nell, we'll be find, I promise.  I'm taking care of shit.  The last thing you need is more eyes on you," he said and reached out and gave Bas's shoulder a squeeze.  "You're here drinking alone, Bas, there's nothing fucking grand about that.  But I guess I can't ask for too much more, can I?  Shit's fucked lately."

When: January 16th, midmorning Who: @evanxrosier​ Where: The Cape Eurus

Once Nathan felt the first pulling of consciousness, he immediately took notice to the pounding pain in his head and the Herculean task it felt like to open his eyes. Letting out a dissatisfied groan, Nate shifted slightly, just enough to start the process of getting up, as he tried to sort out just what happened the night before. He remembered going out with Evan, that much he knew, but what happened after the second club and getting home to his boat was where the gaps in his memory started to appear. Still, he made it home safely, apparently hadn’t brought anyone home with him, or if he had they had already left, and that was something. Knowing he had a potion in the cupboard to cure all his unease, he sung out of bed before he could lose his nerve, tossed on his sweatpants, and made his way towards that part of the boat.

As he neared it, he passed through the living room and heard a groan on his coach. Seeing Evan there, Nate gave him a cocky grin, “Morning sunshine, how’s your head,” his voice just above a whisper despite his arrogant tone. Going into the medicine cabinet, he pulled out two hangover potions, before waving his hand and getting the coffee pot going. Downing the first, he brought the second over to Evan and handed it over to him gracefully, “Here, drink this. You’ll start feeling better in no time.”

.

To say that waking up on a couch in a place that wasn't his was unusual for him would be a complete and utter lie.  More and more it was starting to become the norm. At least this time he had his pants on.  And after confirming that, he shut his eyes against the small bit of light streaming in from the blinds and pressed his face against the worn fabric of the couch below him and fitfully tried to go back to sleep, warring with the familiar pounding in his head.

Evan groaned when he heard feet padding past him, and wondered for a moment how on his guard he had to be. But then he heard that whisper and he found himself smiling in spite of himself. Evan couldn't really count any people from what he considered his life before as friends, but Nate had been a pleasant surprise.  Outside of Nellie and Bas, he was the only one that really got it, where they'd come from and all the scars that came with it.  And, if last night was any evidence, they had exactly the same coping mechanisms.  

"Fuck off," Evan said cheerfully, lifting a middle finger in the direction of Nathan's voice, before gingerly lifting himself up and rubbing a hand over his face.  "Fuck me," he added and let out a soft laugh.  "Why did you let me drink so much last night?" he asked, taking the drink and taking a small sip of it.  "And you didn't even take advantage of my delicate state.  It's such a disappointment."