➫ @evanthes - Tumblr Blog

I was like letting someone out of the unit I work on and they wished me luck w the rest of my shift like “well break a leg I guess” and mind you, I just got back from medical leave for a broken leg

#like as he speaks my fucking knee bone twinges bc it just does that now #he obvi didn’t know and it’s fr the funniest thing that happened that shift #which is saying a lot because the kids I work with r very funny

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Halsey Boston night 2

Halsey: my first ever Boston show must’ve been the one I did at The Middle East, right?

me, in the mezzanine: uhm actually The Middle East is in Cambr- *sniper gets me between the eyes from their post in the ceiling*

#halsey #back to badlands #back to badlands tour #idk why correcting her on what is and is not Boston in my head makes me laugh after the Mansfield incident

girlnumbers

hi can we play staring and breathing together

doggiewoggiez

has anyone ever tried putting raw eggs in the detergent slot on the washing machine and olive oil in the fabric softener slot to make clothes mayonnaise

sinnnnndiesel

Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim

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cannibalchicken

I started meds and somehow I can draw now so i've been really into stippling. HOWEVER. I keep drawing wallace and gromit characters scary style by accident

#one like and ill post my rabbits #every time i would draw one i would gasp when it was scary

memorycycle

hush little baby dont you cry. mamas gonna buy you a big horse fly. and if that big horse fly dont fly. mamas gonna buy you another horse fly

memorycycle

[club mix] another horse fly. another horse fly

lakevida

takes off my headphones Huh? sorry i couldnt hear you i was listening to the popeye soundtrack, its in my soppy mix

c3rvida3

I couldn't pee at the doctor's office today so they sent me home with a cup to pee in and bring back. Do you think it would be funny to bring them my urine sample in a Happy Birthday gift bag with, like, tissue paper in it and everything, or would they think I was really, really crazy if I did that?

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new weed experience: I am high and watching tiktoks and in my brain I am watching every single one as if the purveyor is running a booth at the farmers market and is telling me a story

#edible aint shit ofc #also the farmers market booth runners are my friends

truly incredible how many of my favourite posts that are burned into my memory are grinch related. that tweet abt the grink? oh THIS is the gunch? Just saw one that said “in line to see the gringe” that’s in my vocab for a year minimum

#Do not forget knee surgery advocate The Blinch (blue grinch)

gender often includes things like taking a cold sip of water and swishing it around in your mouth while feeling the thin mucus layer separate from your cheeks and tongue

#yeah #one of the textures of all time

I have been so downtrodden from many years of The Discourses that I see a new one and my only emotion is that I’m surprised anything surprises me anymore

shittycryptids

A tiger with no mouth. It just absorbs its prey like an amoeba

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poisonseller

my parents sold me to oingo boingo... one direction didn’t want me

poisonseller

i shred on the trumpet. they needed me.

amazoogle

aagh im so pissed. my fucking parents sold my baby shoes befroe i even got a chance to wear them

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