christopher

Emilia wasn’t sure speed dating was the right move for her. Whilst she enjoyed meeting new people, dates where another story. They made her nervous and awkward. She had pulled on an outfit, something she had worn before but felt cute in, and headed to the restaurant. This was her first time ever speed dating so the whole thing was new for her. She was guided to a table, one that was empty and told her date would be by shortly. Unsure as to whether they had arrived yet she order herself a drink and glanced around the room, wondering who her date for the evening would be. @evanschrs​

When there had been the option of the speed dating, Chris thought that it was another fun activity he could join, not thinking too much of it. The worst that could happen would be a few minutes of his life he wouldn’t get back. “Hey! How are you? Looks like we’re paired together.” He said enthusiastically. They had met before through events before, so it definitely wasn’t his first time meeting Emilia. “So let’s look at those questions.” Christ took the card with the suggested questions as he sat down in front of her. 

So it blows my mind that we’re celebrating some people’s birthday here in Hawaii but we’re just missing the cut off date for mine, which kinda sucks and i always forget that my birthday is slowly coming up anyone else kinda forget that they have a birthday coming up very soon? or is it just my mind and the way that i have a terrible memory at my old age? Also who is going to come and make some memories with me today? I want to go out and explore Hawaii, but obviously not by my self that would be very irresponsible of me. Someone please come and explore this beautiful island with me!! I’ll provide us with snacks, water and everything else that we might need for this mini little hike that we’ll be going on, who’s in? anyone? // @sohwoodstarters​

Do you want us to celebrate as well? Cause you sound pretty jealous. When’s your birthday? Oh please, if you’re old then I don’t know what I am and it’s going to make me very sad. What have you done in Hawaii so far? I’ve done nothing productive which is why I think this trip is a success for me so far.

As if I’m ever quiet about my crush on you Evans, you’re the only man for me. I would simply believe that the proof was fake, I would be in major denial. Did you just tell me to not teach my kids not to lie? Okay I’ll teach them the lie, thanks for the parenting tip.

It’s more fun for me when you don’t admit it and I can tease you about it, but I guess it’s fine if you’re open about it as well. The only man? I better not see you cheat on me then. I don’t know if I did, but maybe? Yes, teach them all the wrong things. Then you can just blame it all on me.

Hey you said it, not me, but you’re not that old. Forty is still young. Of course, whenever you forget your name I will happily just jump in to remind you, you won’t have this problem again. One day I’ll get a break, but I can’t complain. I mean it is sad that Tim Allen isn’t doing it, but it’s still the same character that we know and love, plus you’re a great actor so we know you will do it justice.

Forty is not that young, it’s not too old, but definitely wouldn’t say it’s young either. I’m glad you’re here to help me out. That’s exactly the reason why I decided to keep you around, Tom. Are you in Hawaii? Because we need to hang out if you are. Hey, you know what all kids have ever asked for when watching Toys Story? I want the origin story of the guy who inspired the creation of Buzz.

I can neither approve nor deny this statement. Don’t do that, his feelings will be hurt! He’ll definitely have it out for ya! That’s a performance and a half that I can’t wait to see. I appreciate it, mate. Thank you, man, that’s really lovely of you to say. You’ll be an amazing dad, you’ll have the best dad jokes and your boob-grabbing laughter will be their favorite trait of yours. Funny of you to assume I have a private jet, just who do you think I am? I just use the ones lended if need-be. Oh, we’ll get you there, no walking for days end on allowed.

Sounds like I’m about right. You know I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. But I have the dad jokes already, only the whole dad thing missing. You don’t? I can’t believe we’ve been friends and you don’t have a private jet. How are you enjoying Hawaii so far? What are you getting me for Valentine’s Day? I hope it’s shinny.

I’m glad it wasn’t a long flight. Could you imagine dealing with that on a 10+ hour flight? Sleeping masks, some Tylenol and headphones are a must for traveling! Besides some interesting flights, how have you been?

I could imagine it, but I really would rather not. It’s best to live this things un-imagined. See, I’m too curious and chatty for most of those things. Like someone will be interesting enough and sitting next to me and they’re my best friend for the next few hours. I’ve been alright! What about you? It’s been a while!

You’re welcome mate, that was a close one I can’t believe you forgot who you are. I’m glad that I could help. Okay, wait, let me doing it now before I forget today’s daily reminder. I’m great! I’ve just been busy with press and movie stuff, you know the usual. What about you? I have to say I’m excited for the new Buzz Lightyear movie to come out.

It happens all the time, I think that’s old age for you. Not much I can do about it. I think you should always be around to help me. That’s kind of your duty as the new generation. That’s good, being busy, it means you get to work and do what you like. Right? I’ve been busy with work too, definitely not as much as you are though. So am I! Even if people are still mad I’m not Tim Allen.

You’re right they won’t believe me because you don’t have a mean bone in your body. I wouldn’t even believe it if someone told me you were being a bitch. Why not? How else am I supposed to get my own way with them? A white lie never hurt them. Maybe I was just more sheltered then I thought.

You’re only mean to me? I think that means you have a crush on me, Hemsworth. Even if they gave you proof of it? Telling the truth is always the best policy. Don’t you teach your kid not to lie?

Oh no, I understand. Although sometimes, I think it’s perfectly alright to have something to say about it if the kids scrambling about should know better, or the adults could reign them in. There comes a time where it could even be dangerous if they run into a flight attendant. At this point, I think you’re an honorary parent having been surrounded by them - just in the Avengers, how many of the cast had kids?

See, you can say this, but if I said it, people would think I’m just an absolute asshole. Which maybe I am, I can’t be the judge of that. You think so? What responsibilities does that entail cause I’m not sure I’m read for it. Oh I can’t even count how many, I probably am one of the only ones without any.

@sohwoodstarters​

I was in Nashville yesterday for some sports, and landing back in LA makes me so happy that it’s warm. How I lived in the cold of Denmark for most of my life I have no idea. Nashville is never cold, yet I think my nose is still frozen. I’m going to be standing in the sun for the next 3 hours.

Is Nashville very cold this time a year? Listen, I’m from Boston, so really nothing is that bad when it comes to winter. Sure it’s not Finland, but it’s pretty cold as well. 

Chris Evans Chris Pine Chris Rock Chris Martin Chris Pratt Have I forgotten someone?

I don’t want to laugh at your misery at all, mate! If you were Hemsworth, probably. Obviously, Forrest Gump style or Buddy the Elf. You can talk about your journey through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest and how you ended up in Lincoln Tunnel. Right. Well, glad to say, that will never be me as a father. You could, but how are you going to get here for Lizzie and I’s proper wedding, then? Shall I send a private jet after you?

Are you telling me I’m the better Chris? because that’s really what I’m hearing. It’s okay, I will definitely be telling him. Oh that’s another good way, I think I’ll do a mix of Forrest Gump and Buddy the Elf. Dedicate my performance to you. Oh definitely not, I just know you’re an amazing dad. Hopefully one day I can be half as good as Chris and you. Well if you’re sending me your private jet, I can’t say no. But for Lizzie and you, I’ll walk there if I have to.

No but you are Chris Evans, aka former Captain America, aka a walking legend. That’s true, fair point, the world is in enough chaos these days. Oh those kind of planes, those are the worse. Not because I’m a snob or anything, but because of all the screaming kids. At least it’s over now though and you can relax.

Wait...you’re right, I’m Chris Evans. Thanks for reminding me! Please send me a voice message reminding me that I’m a walking legend every day. But how have you been kid? It feels like forever since I’ve seen you! 

Well I’ll blame them on your behalf, I’ll tell them that their beloved Chris Evans said they took their sweet time in watching the movie, how cruel. As if you ever needed an invite before to tell me to shut up. I have never heard of that movie, are you making shit up?

Don’t you dare! They also wouldn’t believe you, they’re smarter than that. Also why would you lie to your kids? See, so many reasons not to do that. Plus I’m one of your best friends, you can’t do me dirty like that. I swear I am not! 

This plane sounds like a party you did not want to be part of! Do you have noise canceling headphones? It probably would only help to an extent, hearing how this family was. How long was the flight? Did you feel like you were on the shows Lost or Yellowjackets when the plane dropped?

It’s a party no one would want to be a part of. I think I was more worried about the kids going through the floors of the airplane rather than the noise. The flight really wasn’t that long so at least it wasn’t that bad. Oh I didn’t, but I certainly will next time.