EunjiDrabbles

Comeback season was never easy. From the very start of the preparations to the filming of concept videos and teasers, all the while never stopping once to practice the new choreography to make sure you fit in without sounding out of breath singing, down to keeping up and making sure that you are giving your all but not burning your body out till the day the last stage performance; to juggle it all was not an easy task. Yet, that was the life of an idol.

You counted yourself lucky to be picked up by a company after starting idol training just for a few months and for them to silently integrate you into a group they planned on re-debuting under a different concept. In order to prove your worth, you gave your best at every turn, no matter how tiring it was. The years were not easy, but your group's popularity grew steadily bigger and bigger. As an idol, a growth in fans is always a good thing, but there was always something nagging at the back of your mind.

Sustainability. Despite the fact the fandom has grown multiple times of what it used to be, a day without a single music show win was a day closer to an abrupt end. Having a strong local base and having your group name ring throughout the nation meant you could keep staying on the stage. Many groups before have shown that. Perhaps at some point, you let your mask slip when yet again, another few months of hard work ended without the first trophy to secure a future.

As much as you did your best to play along and pass any comments off as your exhaustion, the moment the cameras to the live were off, everyone around you rushed to get ready to change out of the stage costumes and for the usual celebratory dinner hosted by the company. Standing and leaning against the wall right out of everyone's path of routing, you let yourself relax and your shoulders slumped heavily, mind running through the what ifs. This time, yet again. It was so close but that double-digit number was so far away from your dream. You were sure everyone else felt the same frustrations but they were probably hiding it better than you were. Convincing yourself, you took a deep breath to swallow down the disappointment and looked up to meet a warm gaze studying you from the couch of the waiting room.

You quickly straightened up and ran a hand through your hair, attempting to hide the feelings behind a look of weariness but the woman in front of you wasn't deterred at all by your act. The more she stared, the more naked you felt under her gaze. This was the person you promised to walk through tough times with, and here you were trying to hide. Shame. That was what you guessed showed on your face before she finally looked away and stood to pack both your loose belongings and hers into her bag.

A part of you felt glad that she chose not to pursue the fact you were not communicating fully. Still, another part of you almost wanted your thoughtful and gentlemanly girlfriend to force a confession out of you so you could stop acting strong and just lean on her to cry it all out. Torn between both choices, you let out an audible huff as she approached with her full backpack and two smaller bags in her hands. Holding a hand with a bag out, you automatically took it and with a slow peek, you found your casual clothes inside, realizing that you should probably change out and return the stage costumes to the props manager. Nodding as a quick thanks, you let her silently lead you to the private stalls where she opened the door to one before stepping aside once you entered.

The moment you closed the doors, guilt overwhelmed you. You shrugged off your outer layers, and your movements slowed to a halt as you stared at the dull grey walls surrounding you, as if mocking your current view of thinking. Wallowing in your doubts, you couldn’t hear the soft knocks on your changing room door nor did you hear the soft calls of your names before the door was opened a crack and closed, and arms wrapped around you. You barely could find the energy to panic at the sudden contact before you already calmed down as your girlfriend’s perfume registered in your head. Being in her arms at the moment felt like a warm blanket after a day out in the cold, grounding you to the present. Following her breathing felt like the easiest thing as you let your eyes slide shut and leaned against her, finally allowing for the dam to break as your emotions overflowed onto her.

There were no tears but you could feel the tremors running through you as you tried to ground yourself to her firm touches as she rubbed your arms, trying to warm you up. It took a moment but you turned around and buried yourself in her arms.

There was a blurred fog in your head but you vaguely remembered how your attentive girlfriend helped you change out of the costume, never letting her hand off you the entire time. Next thing you know, you were already seated on the van, away from the prying eyes of the fansites. Looking down, you readjusted your hand within your girlfriend’s and gave a gentle squeeze and watched as she gave a squeeze back from beside you; a wordless reassurance that she was still there. The rest of the members gave the both of you your own space, knowing how you liked to cling to your girlfriend for comfort whenever the cameras were away as they buzzed among themselves, preparing the routine speech in case the CEO decided to pass the mic off again unexpectedly. The familiar noises zoned off into the background as you laid your head against Yubin’s shoulder with her gentle guidance, grounding yourself with her warmth, the scent of her cologne, and the soothing, repetitive motions of her thumb sweeping across your skin.

By the time the vans stopped, you had fully sorted your thoughts in their place and relaxed a lot more. As the door opened, you let everyone else pour out before looking back at your girlfriend with a thankful smile and nod before shifting out of your seat, pinky still hooked onto her own as you shuffled your way out with her following right behind you. As overwhelmingly loud the party was to celebrate yet another comeback, the worries were held back by the jokes everyone cracked. Through it all, you never broke contact with Yubin, even if it was a comforting hand on your knee or leaning and laughing against her arm when Bora started chasing Yoohyeon around the small reserved space yet again, yelling something you could barely understand. Her steady presence was exactly what you needed to stand up with everyone, sharing a toast to conclude yet another chapter of the idol life, promising to everyone and yourself silently that you’d do better next comeback.

Perhaps through the cheers and chaos, your girlfriend somehow heard your thoughts but as she discreetly let her free arm hook around your waist to pull you closer to her, she leaned closer, whispering the exact words you needed to hear.

“It’s okay to take it slow. We still have next time. We will get there eventually.”

Pulling back, she gave you a warm smile as you held back your tears and nodded, agreeing with her words, your hand slid behind your back to hold hers once again, giving a squeeze to receive one back.

“Thank you, Yubin. Baby steps.”

Every now and again, the luxury of being able to cuddle in oversized hoodies inside a small makeshift fort held up by the sofa and chairs came across your lives and without hesitation, you’d take it as a moment away from the world that you could share with your love. Often, these moments would be paired with mini tray tables set up in the fort to ensure no spillage of any snacks or drinks, a tablet for movies, and the very last thing you were missing in the equation. 

“I’m coming!”

Hearing the thumping of footsteps running around what you’d assume to be the bedroom, you teasingly made loud beeping noises as the thumping of footsteps got more frantic the closer they got to you. Peeking your head out the fort, you laughed as you watched Yoohyeon crash onto the sofa to stop herself from falling, and another closer look had you releasing the ends of what the door of the fort would have been to laugh as you scooted in. Frowning as she lowered herself onto her knees and crawled in, she pouted at you, fringes still wet from the shower she had just took and failed to dry properly. 

“What are you laughing at?”

Whining as she crawled over your prone form before letting herself fall onto your body, effectively cutting off your laughter with a soft “oof”, you let her snuggle into you as you ran your hand through her hair. It was a moment of silence before you looked down at her and press a kiss on her forehead.

“Your hoodie is on inside out.”

“Wait what?”

Scrambling to sit up, she disturbed the fort's structure with how she struggled to get the hoodie off her body as you sat there admiring her physique and mumbling a “be careful” when you noticed the large sheet overhead shifted. Watching as she somehow got herself slightly stuck on the head of the hoodie and lost within the fabric, you took pity and moved to help her remove it from her body and turned it inside out for her. Grinning widely at you as she stuck both her hands out to you, you shook your head with a matching smile as you rolled the sleeves up and helped her put it back on. Once her head popped through the hoodie, you were met with an attempt of a seductive lip bite from your girlfriend except her hair was all in her face and you started laughing yet again. Restarting the little tussle as she dived for you, you let out a sequel as you scooted backward into the soft pillows and her chin landed on your thighs instead causing you to let out a whimper of pain. That made her jolt up in concern as she scrambled to check in on you. Only after holding her head between your hands and forcing her to look at you did you manage to reassure her that you were fine and stop her panicking.

It was mostly peaceful afterward as the both of you settled in properly and scrolled through the variety of shows to choose from, knowing that it would usually end up being background noise as the both of you enjoyed your time together. As expected, it only took a couple of minutes into the show before the both of you were discussing a topic within the show, the show itself forgotten.

Through the long discussion, there was a slight deviation as the topics drifted to something more personal as you sat there between Yoohyeon’s legs, pondering your next words to say. Sensing how you were deep in your thoughts, her arms and legs curled around you as she pulled you closer to her, grounding you back to reality.

“Hey, it’s okay. We can move on from this.”

Shaking your head, you huffed.

“No, it’s okay. I just… I’m trying to process it and piece it all together. It’s just a sore spot. I think I should figure it out now rather than…”

Gesturing with your hand, you sighed and sank back into the embrace of your girlfriend.

“I’m sorry for dragging the mood down, today is supposed to be a happy relaxing day for the both of us but-”

“Why are you apologizing? I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to hear all that you have to share. I’m still here spending time with you, I’m not having a bad day just because you shared what is on your mind.”

Stunned into silence, you turned your head slightly just as Yoohyeon lowered her head down slightly to gently bump her forehead against yours. Looking her right in the eyes, you felt your breath being stolen as your insecurities were pacified one by one. Out of a billion words, she somehow chose the exact ones that you needed to hear from her lips. Pouting when you failed to respond, she pressed a kiss on your lips before nuzzling onto the side of your head as she tightened her hold on you.

“So just tell me what you need from me okay? A listening ear, some advice, it doesn’t matter how selfish you think you might be. I chose to be here, and I am here for you. You’re not allowed to guess how I’m supposed to feel and make that your reasoning. I’m interested in you, and that includes every small detail in your life, good or bad.”

You have the most incredible ability to say the right words.

Huffing once again as you hold back the approaching tears, you let yourself melt against the fluffy hoodie while you clung onto her comforting scent as she ran her hand through your hair. Only then did you notice the silence, both from the show and the thoughts in your head. Feeling some movement from Yoohyeon, you unwillingly pulled away before a bottle of water was held in front of you. Slowly lifting your hand to hold onto it, Yoohyeon twisted open the cap for you before nudging it closer to your lips.

“Now drink up, okay? I don’t want you to get a headache later.”

Nodding up at her, you took a sip before lowering the bottle.

Joohyun/Irene

Did someone call for a coffee and snack truck? That's what will greet you when you step out of the studio. You'll find all your favorite snacks on the menu and a banner with a group photo to congratulate you on your successful solo release and well wishes for you to top the charts. Your leader would want for you to remember to still take proper care of yourself during the hustle when she can't be around when you're on your solo schedules to promote.

When you finally get back to the dorm? You'll be greeted with her proud smile and even as the rest of the members would rush forward to congratulate you, I'm sure you'll still pay attention to the table of your favorite dishes that she made just to celebrate your success.

Seulgi

Seulgi.zip is her precious baby and you were now a part of it. She wouldn't take no for an answer and would pout and pester the managers until they allowed for you to do at least a day of promotions on her show so she can mark it down the special occasion in history. Be it your first solo or anything coming next, she had told you that she has you booked and it is a must to go to her so she can have something planned for your next appearance.

There will be moments when both of you are just staring at one another before struggling to keep your laughter in, but end up bursting out in infectious laughter that spreads across the small studio. Seulgi wants you to know that she is your safe space, as do the studio directors and staff who learned to love you as much as she does.

Seungwan/Wendy

You could only grin widely at her from across the table as she mirrored your expressions before laughing and sorting out her cue cards and notes in front of her. Did you honestly think you won't be featured in her radio show just so she can proudly boast and compliment you to the rest of the nation? At every possibly opportunity, she will be playing your song and slipping in references from your song into her topics and it adores you to hear how excited her voice and mannerisms get when promoting for you.

Promotion season over? Think that will stop DJ WanD from playing the song on the radio? Think again. She's proud to say that her member wrote and sung the song with all her heart and the whole world will hear it.

Sooyoung/Joy

Stepping back into the dressing room, you'll find yourself surrounded by your favorite flowers and a tall hamper of goodies sitting on the table. If you paid closer attention, you'd find that they're all snacks and even alcohol that both you and Joy enjoy having together when you have your occasional hangouts where you'll talk and drink through the night.

Sitting near the hamper, you'll find a card with just a simple "Call me" written with a lipstick mark next to it. When you finally do give the video call, she would whine about how long you took, before bombarding you with questions if you've received her gifts and if you liked them. 

Yerim/Yeri

It’s best that you don’t question how, but her shout of “Surprise!” definitely gave you a shock when you opened the door back to your dressing room. You were pretty sure that everyone else in the group had their schedules filled for the week of your solo promotions so to see another member throwing confetti in your face when you stepped through your door lit up your mood.