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"How do I make use of what has happened to me?"

There is no need to wait for a hidden meaning to become clear in time; in this moment you can find workable meaning. Perhaps more will be discovered as you endeavor into the future but you can transmute misfortune into blessings right now regardless.

Whether it be a heart-wrenching breakup, a sudden loss, an unfair turn of events, or the frustrating inability to obtain something for which you long, the saying "everything happens for a reason" is meant to facilitate surrender to circumstances.

Yet that doesn't do much for the pain and suffering we feel now. As a result, we may focus more on self-soothing than on turning the momentum of the moment in our favor.

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~ The Dalai Lama

Take a breakup as an example. The mind and heart of perception will often become distorted, recalling your lover to be more amazing than they were and feeling yourself to be less than magnificent. Sometimes people will compensate by exerting hate towards their former lover and engaging in activities they feel to be empowering. This does work to an extent but it leaves you unprepared for your next relationship.

Instead, you might ask of yourself: "How do I make use of what has happened to me?"

When we feel suffering, the first instinct is to get rid of that unpleasant experience by any means necessary. The easiest way to do that is by distracting ourselves with other things. But while that does lessen the experience of suffering, it doesn't do anything to eliminate its roots. It will settle inside us in the form of resentments, fears, and triggers.

So the question remains, how to make use of suffering? Digestion. When you digest something, you destroy it and turn it into energy. Then you can direct that energy in a clear and kind manner that both empowers you and benefits all sentient beings.

In order to digest our suffering, we must be present with it. We must allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to feel that shittiness, and to resist any urge to interpret it or drawn conclusions from it. By forgoing distracting and deluding ourselves, we honor clarity. And in turn clarity will bless us with peace, insight, and totality.

There is much more that can be said regarding specific forms of suffering but in general when you find yourself facing something unacceptable, you can remind yourself that everything does happen for a reason. But to take it a step further, follow it up by also asking yourself "How can I make use of what has happened to me?"

A path to becoming stronger, clearer, and more loving is always available to you. It's only a matter of approach.