Unbothered.

• as soon as you walk into the house, take the baby. This applies despite how bad traffic was, how hard work was, how tired you think you are, and how badly you need to use the bathroom.

• Never mention being tired, or sore in front of your partner.

• If your baby is bottle fed, do at least one night feed. It won’t kill you to be a little tired in the morning.

• NEVER imply that your life is harder because you ‘go to work.’ Believe me, work is ten thousand times easier than mothering a newborn.

• Give up on sleeping in for a few months of weekends. Get up at your usual time and take the baby out of the room. Make your partner breakfast in bed one handed when she’s awake. It’s not hard, she manages it every day.

• Take the time to hug her, even if she picks a fight with you as soon as you walk in the door. She’s exhausted, she’s been peed on, she smells like milk, and she feels like the undead.

• if you are not holding the baby, be doing SOMETHING. Hang up the wet washing that has been in the machine all day. Make her a cup of tea. Call on your way home to see if she needs anything from the supermarket.

• Tell your partner she’s beautiful. Often. Reminding her you want sex does not cut it as a compliment.

• Insist on her having time to her self, and also time as a couple. Even an hour a week is enough.

• Never EVER bring the crying baby into her shower. Ever. Just don’t.

It wasn’t fun.

I still agree with a lot of the stuff I wrote, because hell yeah newborn is HARD. But, I’d like to amend some things:

• it’s fine to use the bathroom when you get home, but if you take your phone in there for 25 minutes, you’ll likely get stabbed at some stage in the first 3 months

• yes, you are allowed to say you are sore, or tired. You probably are! Just maybe hold back on it if you’ve slept all night next to your partner who has been woken 6+ times. She is tired. Again, she may stab you.

• going to work is definitely hard. But, as someone who has worked full time in a physically and mentally demanding job, and experienced a very unhappy newborn, in my personal experience, working is significantly easier.

• my partner was actually fantastic, and yet I still needed to vent during this post. Mothering a newborn is isolating, and stressful, and exhausting. You will have hard moments, just like I was while writing this. You’ll take it out on each other. You may blog about it ;) But, it’ll pass. It gets easier. And by the number of Mothers who reblogged this (with only 4-5 negative comments in total), I’d say that you really aren’t alone in feeling that way.