𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐎 // a multi-muse blog focused on characters from various sci-fi and cyberpunk media. selective && private. combination of canon & original characters. features characters from cyberpunk 2077, star wars, and dead by daylight. crossover & oc friendly ( inquire for verses not outlined on card ) minors dni. written by jamie. 25 // est

〝 there is no real direction here, neither lines of power nor cooperation. decisions are never really made – at best they manage to emerge, from a chaos of peeves, whims, hallucinations and all around assholery. 〞

━ 〝 well, now isn't this a sight to behold 〞queue the unfolding of his jackknife grin - revealing artificially whitened teeth that complimented his bleached-white ( and wrinkle devoid ) oxford. at the base of his palm, resting on the knee of his crossed legs, he held && swirled a cosmopolitan - reflecting all of the technicolor pastels of the night city skyline that bled in through the 55th story window. his entourage sat around him, posed neatly as if they were a hopper painting that salo was presenting to v. everything about the scene was neatly manufactured and manicured. like a soundstage that was simply awaiting for the star ( vasya ) to enter from stage left.

〝 i'd love to believe you're here to take me up on the offer of a free drink & to chat with us all ━ 〞salo's drink tokens were his way of weaseling into new gigs. mercs like drinking. they also tend to get arrested. a natural source of income that was more than a return on investment for whatever tab he covered.

>> Tansarii Point Station ━ can't say it was her favorite spot to be waylaid. sure the drinks were cheap and the local militias were either incompetent or ignorant enough to leave well enough alone. but on a list of must-see places in the mid-rim it was probably bottom of the list. surprisingly a system being an arms depot for several hundred years does not produce a particularly friendly environment.

━ but a vacation this was not. kay was set to meet with some-such loanshark money handler about a package she klept on the corellian run. ( surely if it was any value they would've bolted it down to the cargo bay. ) lucky for her she didn't have to wander too far to find an interested buyer. however, some such precognitive sense happened to tell her that such an out-of-the-way meeting likely wasn't over just one little stolen package.

the smuggler would sit down, adjacent from her contact. she'd flash a wily smirk as she juggled a mantellian coin between her fingers.

happiness.

being unable to stop smiling. laughter. bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around. dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laugh lines. childlike playfulness. skipping. talking more. affection. cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice. squealing. jumping around. clapping.

sadness. 

furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability. jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing. making risky decisions. middle finger.

fear.

wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting. scratching skin. a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse. tics. rushing adrenaline. face draining of colour. hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot. making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering. gripping something or someone. stuttering. flinching at noises. pleading.

exhaustion.

constantly yawning. blurring words together. dark circles or lines under eyes. mood swings. hallucinations. calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying they’re tired. slow blinking. trouble concentrating. stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements. falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed. becoming irritated by the smallest things. “i’m awake, i’m fine.” shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired. passing out.

❛ i can’t imagine losing someone like that. i’m sorry. ❜

in response her eyes drifted to small, tucked away picture frame. a film of dust coated the blurry photo ( outshined by this decade's photographic technology ) depicting two young adults. the outline of the two giving each other ' bunny ears' with a middle and index finger was still visible - despite the apparent fading underneath the fluorescent lights.

" it's not something i think about, really it'd been so long - "

of course, that was a lie. really she wanted to yell & scream about the injustice of it all. and about the tragedy of a good life left unfulfilled. and how it should've been any number of other people that deserved that fate; but not them. but she wouldn't, she'd push the photo back into the drawer, just as she'd do with the memory of it all.

a shallow sigh. " sometimes, i wonder what our lives would be like if we weren't up here " a general gesture to the near-top floor office. " - maybe we'd have more time to think & talk about these kinds of things, and probably be better off because of it. "