nyoom

At the time artists started painting still life (early renaissance), painters didn’t bother with meanings at all. It was a technical exercise. Seeing how good their techniques were

But painting is expensive as fuck and you gotta pay for pigments and shit, so you had to be able to sell your shitty still life, to the people who pay for your pigments and shit. But they didn’t want still life paintings, because it was… just food….. They wanted Jesus and bible scenes and such. Not apples and shit. Because rich people loved religion. And were pretentious as fuck. Why have an apple painting at home when you can have men freaking out over zombie Jesus

So artists were like ok, see, you don’t get it. The apple refers to the original sin, and all the fruits represent your wealth and such. But the skull’s there to remind you that your wealth doesn’t matter, you’ll die someday anyway

Because that was a popular thing at the time, being rich but having symbolic stuff that remind you that you’ll die someday despite being rich. Rich people were weird. And pretentious

So painters BULLSHITTED all that symbolic stuff around the things they put in their still life paintings to make the boring painting exercises appealing to the gullible (and pretentious) rich people that commissioned them. And rich people gobbled it aaaalllllll up

And that’s how we still have still life paintings from most famous renaissance artists today and that they’re in such good condition, because still life paintings became THE shit amongst rich people and they bought them and kept them at home. Instead of remaining stuck in a dusty, shitty painting workshop, to be forgotten beneath tons of other stuff and rot

And there was this whole lexicon and symbolism dictionary created around still life paintings at the time, like each object was meant to represent something and there began to be conventions and stuff

But they only ever were technical painting exercises

Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.

Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable

At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence

An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six 

(while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 

friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou- friend two: probably

I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED

If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?

student: my calculator is broken teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken

no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar

(during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?   student 2: enough

teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans? Student: does Popeyes count?

my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am

we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!

suddenly, students are barely ever late to classes any more and there are significantly fewer incidents of getting lost around the castle

everything goes wonderfully for a week, all the professors are baffled but pleased