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" no, why are you in my room? "

" no, i am quite sure there has been a mistake of some kind. i was told to leave my dog here for the duration of my visit. " the irish water spaniel at his feet was moving around restlessly and alphonse tried to remember if he had asked anyone to walk the dog that morning. hopefully he had. hopefully there wouldn't be a puddle on the floor of the dartworth house. " second floor, second to last door ? "

" miss keskin ! " the baroness called as soon as she crossed the threshold to the drawing room, a bright and knowing smile upon her lips as she took the seat next to the lady. " fascinating reading this morning, it seems as if you've attracted quite the interest. " her blue gaze raked sharply through the other lady's face, trying to gauge feyza's thoughts on the matter before she voices them out loud. " at present, there is no match better than lord bernard, but... i truly wish that he had been smart enough to know not to go anywhere with a lady without a chaperone. " or at least, feyza certainly should know better.

feyza jumped in her seat. she swore under her breath when her needle pricked into her skin, drawing the smallest amount of blood. fortunately the fern green fabric remained without a bloody smudge. " lady st. clair ! " she could not recall the last time the dowager baroness would have been so loud. gwendoline st. clair was the epitome of class and style, this sort of display of emotion surprised feyza. but most of all, it concerned feyza. it meant someone ( feyza ) had done something preposterous. " there is– it is only a bit of writing. it accomplishes making assumptions but fails at telling the truth. lord alderidge and i merely chat every once in a while. this was one chat. chatter. chatchitting. chitchatting." it sounded like a weak excuse, and feyza resented the fact that she had nothing else to offer. she was not delusional enough to interpret her moments with lord alderidge as courting. " oh ! " feyza whined and closed her eyes. " i know, i know... one time soon i will offend someone and their laws of propriety. i assure you, i am not usually this careless... " she was aware of the rules she broke. sometimes she worried and cared immensely, and sometimes... " in broad daylight, at a large event... it is completely different from some secret rendezvous whistledown is making it out to be. "

" i really hate to bring this up — but i am very concerned! please tell me it is not true you were with lord alderidge unaccompanied. " she did not know how to bring it up any other way. if it is true, this could potentially ruin feyza's chances of finding a husband indefinitely!

feyza's face turned bright red in a matter of seconds. the sort of red that might raise concerns in some people. the sort of red that she could feel. " that– that is not– nothing, err, improper, happened. i was not aware we would be without company inside the greenhouse. it was not planned ! " had she expected the greenhouse to be empty ? well, maybe... but it was the greenhouse and its calmness she had been interested in, not privacy ! " it is all a misunderstanding — well, no. this is a case of the ton jumping into conclusions ! based of a gossip column ! that is– " what was it ? she was only upset at the column because she had been mentioned. her peace had been disrupted, and she was feeling the effects in her own skin. " silly. the whole thing is silly. people would not entertain these assumptions about someone as dignified as lord alderidge, had the information spread through a word of mouth. it only appears slightly suspivious because it is in writing. "

her steps were light as they headed towards the greenhouse. " what does it feel like though ? to be so close to the royal family ? is it difficult to remember to speak formally ? do they even care about formality ? i honestly avoid anyone whom i believe to be a hanover. it is easier than to remember which member is to be addressed in which manner. " she sighed. " do you know what i struggle with ? " she did not give him enough time to make a guess. she did not want to know which of her many flaws he deemed most visible. " i want to be like everyone else and behave according to the rules of the society...but... do you not find it a bit frustrating that if i were to address another person by their given name and not by some title, i would be considered rude and wrong ? i do not know if i can sincerely acknowledge a hierarchy that strict. "

the baroness almost frowned at the words, for only an ungrateful bore like richard crowley could snub someone like feyza. albeit in a terribly subtle way. " well forget it then, he should be a better gentleman than to allow conversation to stop so abruptly. " at the very least, he should make some flimsy excuse so not to embarrass a lady ! her eyes glanced over the crowds once more, quietly appraising each person that walked by them with a slow nod of greeting. far too many of them are either dull or ineligible, one way or another. it is a terribly dry season perhaps, for someone like feyza — who perhaps wanted a partner that is more than a title or riches. " you will not beg, i assure you. " members of the ton with scandals far worse than a few awkward conversations did not even beg. " do you wish for a rich gentleman, miss keskin? or do you wish for an interesting one? " a wry smile began to bloom across her lips as her tone lowered imperceptibly. " men are far too simple to be both. most of the time, we are often made to choose. "

" i do not know if i can hold it against him. talking to people is exhausting. " feyza herself was not without a flaw ! it was somewhat easy to start the season with massive amounts of energy and determination but as the first cooler days disrupted the warm summer, feyza found herself feeling indifferent about everything and everyone. " i... " it was a difficult question. she could rank the two descriptors in a second, that was not the issue. she would always prefer an interesting person to one with money. but... " every once in a while i wonder if the risk is worth it. i am quite content with the things in my life. the way the days pass. my freedom to spend my days as i see fit. " her words were sincere, the sentences results of many nights of self-reflection. the topic still made her throat tighten and eyes sting. she could not pretend her current awkward state compared to her peers had been decision born out of rationale. " it feels a bit– it feels awful to see the people around me find each other. each season i meet and socialize with dozens of people if not with hundreds, but no one seems to find me worthy of speaking to me more than once. i do not know what quality i am without or if i have a trait that is truly dislikeable. it feels quite bothersome. " feyza meant horrible, but she did not wish to make the baroness feel too burdened by her confessions. " when i do not think about it too much, and if i remember to concentrate on the things around myself that truly matter, the feeling fades away into the background. " the feeling of being perceived as lacking. it was such a constant companion that feyza sometimes was unable to recognize the heaviness in her chest as something abnormal. " if i was convinced a transactional marriage would improve my life, i might be able to chase one. i might even succeed, lady st. clair, my dowry is not too poor. however this foolish part of me is still hanging onto a notion that the person i marry is someone i may call a friend, a confidante, a soul that answers to mine. "

"my type," augustus repeated, as though the question had arrived in a foreign language he was only passingly familiar with. he considered it with more genuine effort than he perhaps wished to show. "someone who does not speak solely to fill the air." his gaze moved briefly toward the second daughter, then away again, finding nothing in particular to hold his attention. "someone with a mind that functions independently of the ton's opinion." a pause. "i had not given it much thought beyond that. the whole enterprise assumes i am actively looking." he was not sure that he was. though he supposed that returning to london, to alphonse's particular orbit, had communicated something to his brother that augustus himself had not quite intended.

" so essentially you are waiting for a lady who will act like a close friend from the very beginning ? " what an idiotic requirement to name. " it is a rather tall order, i fear. these events during the season will not nurture that. too many people, too many acquaintances, and so much judgment. " say one word wrong and you would carry the shame for the rest of the season. it was impossible to come across sincerity. " you are. you are actively looking. i have decided that for you. " alphonse's voice was clipped. there were things he was inflexible about, this was one of them. " at the moment you are a tragic war hero. respectable and mysterious, but soon the cane and the perceived fragility will work against you. find someone now. someone like miss prestley– " with a hand clutching his brother's chin, alphonse turned his head so that he was looking directly at the woman. " –whose father is desperate for a respectable man to join the family and take over the family business. miss prestley only has sisters. " in case augustus had failed to connect the dots.

feyza sucked in a quick breath. loudly. her lips pressing tightly together. " i did not intend to sound so... " ungrateful ? impolite ? snobby ? snobbism was the gravest slight of the three if you asked feyza. " it is just hot and i dislike bugs... " her words became a mumble the clearer it became that her explanation was a poor excuse. redness spread down from her cheeks to her neck and grew deeper at his proximity. usually this was the point when feyza decided she felt too uncomfortable and came up with a reason to leave the conversation. but with mister bernard alderidge, she wanted to want to continue the conversation. so she pushed the anxiousness to the very pit of her stomach and steeled herself. everything would be alright. it was just talking. an exchange of words. most importantly, it was mundane. just a regular occurrence. " oh i have– " already been there. now, that was a genuinely idiotic thing to say. even feyza could play the game a bit better than that. " i have heard great things about it. the source of queen's pride some say. " no one said that. what was she talking about ? good god. " i would love to see it. as long as you can assure me you will fight off every wasp and mosquito that comes near me ! " two sensible sentences without stuttering ! she was beginning to get a grip. the little boost in confidence allowed a small grin to break onto her face. " if we are really quick– " and bold. " –we might be able to sneak into the greenhouse. imagine the room where all the flowers in the bouquet making tent came from. it will be the grandest thing. "

He had managed to slip away, find a quiet spot to just take a moment. Least he could breathe. Although it didn't seem to take very long before he heard footsteps. Well least he had managed to regain his composure. "You seem to have found my hiding place" he said, quickly turning on the charm that he knew his mother would berate him for if he didn't use. "The party is wonderful, however I confess, I am not so used to being around so many people".

" and you appear as if someone poured belladonna into your cup. goodness gracious, sir. " maybe she was being too friendly. how much did an off meeting at a café really matter ? had it made them acquaintances ? " everyone needs a bit of solitude every once in a while. " and did feyza know ! after her failed attempt at calming down in the maze, she had taken a rather direct path to this particular spot. she could not recall ever seeing another person on the bench. " but it appears i am intruding. i do not wish to disturb. having to chatter with me would defeat the purpose of hiding from the party. "

with earnesty, she considers the flower in his clutch. " it is lovely, " she says, more sincerely now. " though i am not certain it belongs with the rest. " her hand lifts, but instead of taking it, she merely adjusts the way he holds it – turning the bloom so it catches a different light; improving the presentation rather than accepting the offering. " there. that is better. "

his breath hitched in his throat in mild shock. was it possible that she still foolishly thought fondly of him... ? her hand was in the air, delicately it entered his space, the silk of her gloves was almost brushing against his skin, she was going to accept his— no. no, she did not think fondly of him. no, she was not going to offer that coy smile he had grown familiar with the previous year. and no, she absolutely had not planned to accept the flower. with his pride terribly wounded, alphonse took a moment to regain his cool. eventually a poor imitation of a smile spread across his features. " this is going to go to waste, i fear. i doubt the zhaos will appreciate my attempts at playing a florist. i have also heard that missus cavendish has a delicate nose. springtime is awful for her. i applaud her for braving the outdoors today. would you please accept this ? it would be a favour to my hostess. "

arms extend, a curated arrangement of florals clutched between both hands. she shuts an eye, discerning the melding of colours, then plucks a delphinium from a nearby vase, pushing it's stem amidst the bunch. " hm.. " she hums, eyes both now open, inspecting. " it seems to be lacking, does it not ? " wrists twist in display of the bouquet. " you may have a keener eye than me. i would value your opinion ! "

dress runs along the grass as she walks , eyes admiring all the blooms as they nearly sprung from their holders . small smile meets the owner of the booth , they nod for her to take a flower from its stand . she picks a light blue daisy and continues on her way , only to be stopped by a female with bouquets filling arms . she asks emmeline to help figure out what it is that the bouquet is missing as femme looks over florals with a confused look . ❝ i think it needs some white . maybe some baby's breath or some forget-me-nots . something to break up the starkness of the blue . ❞

" oh, mrs reeve ! can you imagine what the house will look like if it is filled with all these flowers ! " feyza was carrying roughly four bouquets' worth of flowers in her arms, trailing closely behind safiye. her head was barely visible from behind the red, orange, pink, lilac, blue, white, yellow flowers. " the entry hall, the drawing room, the corridor... the corridor is awfully long. it will fit at least three bouquets. should we get more ? " mere seconds ago feyza had been concerned about the large amount of stems, now she was worried she was missing three dozen. " lady durmaz, do you remember seeing tiger lilies ? i think there were some... ? tiger lilies will look good whatever we do to them, no ? " ( @opvlinc )