Unhappy Accidents

I'm Erry! I've also floated around on the outskirts of kink social media as "an_awful_brat" at times in the past few years.

This is intended to be a personal blog, by which I mostly mean I want to use it as an excuse to write (semi-)honestly about what I'm up to and thinking. This sounds very obvious, but it is something I've realized I've actively avoided for a good chunk of my adult life, at this point.

It will also, inevitably, be a kink blog. Most of that kink content will be Little/Middle/ABDL adjacent. I'll probably talk about diaper training and my experience wearing 24/7 at times.

I was recently diagnosed with autism as an adult, which is partly the impetus for the whole "trying to write ((sorta-)semi-)honestly about myself" thing, so that will probably also come up a bunch.

I may post about what I'm reading or watching or doing. If I get comfortable, there may be occasional (likely NSFW) fiction. If I get really comfortable, there may be non-fiction yapping about stuff like law or labor history.

Why do you treat me this way?

And why do you try so hard to break my spirit?

I think someone was mean to you when you were little,

That's what I think.

The first time I made coffee for just myself, I made too much of it,

but I drank it all, just 'cause you hate it when I let things go to waste

and I wandered through the house like a little boy lost at the mall,

Confidently wearing outfits that either have no hope of hiding their diapers or, better yet, are styled with flattering waistband peeks or bottom poof in mind. If they could get away with just a diaper and top when it's hot out, they wouldn't bother with anything else. At home, they probably don't.

Being completely unflustered by other people noticing their protection or that they need a change. ("Oops, be right back, I'm super soggy!", "Oh, sorry, do I smell...? I get kinda noseblind to it sometimes," etc.) Checking themselves in front of others without missing a beat.

Cheerfully indulging Little habits around Big friends or just in passing in public, and meeting any questions or stares with ready explanations. (Obviously, they're going to take their paci with them to class; it helps them concentrate if they start feeling anxious! Yeah, they needed braces pretty bad when they were younger because of it, but their dentist says it's not a big problem now...)

Flirting up a storm regardless of the state of their diapers. Worst case, they'll just use it as an excuse to suggest that, hey, maybe you wouldn't mind helping them get changed...? Somehow being able to make the other person blush while they're the one laid out on the changing table.

For the more online Little, having a social media footprint that's constantly oversharing, whether that means dumb throwaway posts about the state of their padding and latest brand or a whole TikTok channel full of "Get Changed With Me!" videos of them yapping while they clean up.

Never letting their lack of potty-training hold them back from doing anything else! They're going to captain their local sports team even if they're waddling off to the locker room afterwards, be the mentor and lead at work or in class even if their juniors will probably all be helping change them at some point, etc.

There are lots of potentially good flavors of this, too! Proudly Little social butterflies who will light up any room enthusing about their stuffed animals, would-be serious Middles who just aren't going to let you make them feel ashamed that they still poop their pants, etc. etc.

It's funny, because this is not my personal vibe at all, since getting to be shy and awkward and feeling "held back" are big parts of Middle-ness for me, so I suppose the appeal here is closer to "Little/Middle I would definitely have a crush on"...?

I've def. already whined elsewhere about the U.S.-made version of Megamaxes developing "Abena butt," where the SAP, once wet, becomes loose and starts shifting around, inevitably migrating towards the back/seat and ruining the brief's absorbency. Admittedly, they aren't as bad as Abenas about it, but on the other hand when it does happen it's a bigger problem with a diaper that advertises being able to hold up for up to twelve hours!

A much bigger problem, in fact, because it turns out when it happens with that much SAP it's a risk to the brief's structural integrity.

Which is to say that, like a half-dozen times recently, I've had a bedtime diaper rupture internally. I assume the weight's partly tearing away the diaper's backing, though I can't say I've inspected the damage directly, because in practice this looks like my diaper suddenly leaking pee-saturated SAP with every movement. Usually it's been pretty minor and so not that much worse to deal with than a typical leak, but this morning it felt like my whole diaper was threatening to disgorge itself through one of my leakguards. (This is not an experience I recommend.)

And, yeah, the diapers in question were pretty overdue for a change at the time, but they definitely hadn't been through worse than hundreds of diapers I've worn to bed that did not explode!