11 tips from last weekend!
This is a touch late and I promised that I'd post it when I was done but I decided to do some talking and some research and get more opinions. These are all of my own opinions and from my own experiences so I'm not going to debate with anyone and this is the first part of a piece that I posted to my group at the start of the week so if things are just a bit too specific, I'd be happy to clarify them or provide help. I gathered information from a variety of women I met at clubs around my age (19 to 27) and of a variety of different ethnicities so I feel like I have a pretty firm grasp of how women who made it into high society on their own did it and what they would recommend.
Looks are going to come later on when it comes to ethnic women, they aren't the most important. Your personality is absolutely the most important thing when you first get into high society. Extremely wealthy and high society white men will usually always look at your achievements and try to get a grasp on your personality before they worry about your beauty. I was just off being the sickest I've ever been when I met Frederick and he didn't care one bit about the way I looked, he was more interested in my hobbies and he loved how bright and bubbly I was. Make sure to have at least one interesting hobby and a few niche interests to talk about and make sure that you're able to actually speak about them in depth. Interests, goals, and personality will outweigh beauty every time, it's about being interesting and beautiful inside first, physical beauty doesn't make up for an ugly or unkind personality and anyone can be beautiful but having interests will set you apart.
Stop constantly second guessing yourself now!
I get far too many asks from women asking me if XYZ sort of white men like ethnic women, here's the thing, go ahead and just assume that all men like ethnic women, most heterosexual men love all types of women and if they go out of their way to dislike women of different ethnicities, don't worry about them, they're not men, they're just racists and they didn't deserve you anyway. Lack of confidence is what makes you less desirable, not your skin tone, if you're comfortable in your own skin and you're proud and happy to be who you are, that's what'll draw people to you. Don't try to shove yourself into a mould and try to become the perfect hypergamous woman or trophy wife, stay true to who you are and be yourself, men will want you for who you are and if they don't, there's a man out there who will love you and treat you better than any man out there will.
There are so many different types of men in high society, they have different careers, they have different interests, they have different hobbies, and they're men of different ethnicities, looks, backgrounds, and cultures. It's your job to try to get a grasp on what sort of man you want and then figure out the best way to get asked on your first date by him. I'm fond of speaking to black women at clubs before I write my posts to get a grasp on things and more opinions so from what I've heard, the easiest way to get a lot of attention is to be slim and have an overtly feminine look. White men will not care about your face, they'll care about the stereotypical trophy wife look and that usually means having long hair, being slim, being done up, and being feminine. I was told to explicitly state that there will always be a few exceptions but that the majority of the time, slim black women will always be favoured more than plus sized women. I had that experience when I was going through my medical treatments, I was super in shape, I got big and was treated with absolute pity, and now that I'm thin again, it's like I'm back to being beautiful and worthy of positive attention from men.
Invest in a few nice dresses and a solid pair of pumps!
I have a lot of lovely brightly coloured dresses and a pair of pumps that I love. I wear my hair long, I wear a lot of makeup, I wear some of my simple jewellery, I spritz on some perfume, and I carry a nice little purse. It's a very simple set and it's very weather girl of me but it always works and if I was actively looking for a man who wanted the perfect image of a wife, I have no doubts that I could do it fast. Sigyn's fiancé has an inheritance worth $250mil in the bank and he has plenty of his own money, she met him wearing a simple dress, stockings, heels, and a simple purse. You don't need to go all out or do too much, you should just have a few investment pieces that you can use to mix and match with your dresses. Simple is the best sometimes and it can be much easier to wear simple sets than to set up elaborate outfits.
You won't find any quality high society man online!
Unless he cheats, he's probably not going to be on Tinder or Bumble or Hinge or Luxy or whatever the popular sites are these days. I can't name a single man I know who's of extreme affluence who's on a dating app, Frederick doesn't know what "Timdor" is, and none of the black women I've asked at clubs have met their men online, doing it all in person is the way to go and my cousins prefer to go ahead and do it all that way. It's easier to make a connection in person, and it's easier to set a date and secure the relationship and the bag if you're face to face instead of going through screens where you can be led on forever or catfished or forced to scroll through dating apps and websites all day, the internet is dead and I'm going to stop elaborating on this now, get off your phone and go out into the world, I suggest clubs, sororities, making friends, and having a variety of activities for a very clear reason, you need to get out into the world and start experiencing life, if you stay online, you're allowing life to just pass you by and there will come a point where you start to feel like it's too hard to rejoin society or even leave home.
Invest in just a few fancier things for your routine!
Instead of spending a bunch at Bath and Body works, invest in two or three luxury perfumes, upgrade your haircare and makeup products, get a few cute pieces of jewellery from Saks or cute boutiques, and stop ordering online and actually go OUT and get these things. Avoid paying for shipping and go out with friends and treat yourself, find things that you like, try things on, and experience things. Save your money and spend wisely, obviously, but you should be making an effort to get out. If you have to do everything online and you're afraid to go out and be seen shopping, how do you expect to go to clubs? If you're afraid to talk to salesgirls, how will you talk to affluent men? You need to go out, you need to invest in yourself, and you need to have things that will level up your look. You need to be comfortable in your own skin and going out will help with your social skills, one thing ties into another and so on and so forth, invest in a few nice products and try to invest in your social skills while you're out at it.
Begin a full body skincare and grooming routine!
Use thick cream on your body everyday, stay smoothly shaven, exfoliate, use hot washcloths and try to avoid picking at any body acne, I've heard that Dove and Ivory soap and hot washcloths are the best for making sure that the scent from the soap stays with you, and take care of your body. Use sunscreen all over and keep your body clear of any rashes. If you have eczema or psoriasis, find products that will help your skin and that don't irritate it, I've heard cetaphil is gentle and works wonders. For your facial skin, find a skincare routine that works, all of my skincare products are from The Ordinary and I avoid using scented or heavy products with a lot of added or unnecessary chemicals, I use pure chemicals, ice, sunscreen, my gua sha, and a thick hydrating lip balm. Take care of your natural beauty first, makeup is around for a reason but you should always take care of your base before you worry about your looks.
Don't run and spend stacks on everything!
Even though I've just told you to invest in things, that's what I mean, buy things that are investments. You don't need to go out and blow all of your money on an entirely new wardrobe, designer purses and shoes, fancy jewellery, all sorts of plastic surgery and cosmetic enhancements, and all of that, you just need to make a few nice investments. You can rewear and repurpose things, your closet probably has suitable clothes now that just need to be styled correctly, and any outfit can be made feminine. Sigyn loves to wear this beautiful outfit entirely from H&M and Zara and men always go out of their way to tell her she's lovely and women always compliment her. I have a $60 tennis dress that I love that Frederick is obsessed with, and some of the most beautiful pieces of jewellery I've seen have been carefully picked from department stores and clearance racks. Don't spend money you don't have, you don't need to level up everything you have, invest and spend wisely and focus on your financial security and stability, it's imperative that you do.
Stop listening to Anna Bey and giving her your coins!
Oh my God, I say this far too often but don't bother with Anna Bey or her school of femininity. She's been exposed far too many times and when you start to read about her, it'll become obvious that she's unhappy with herself and isn't following her own advice. Don't spend money on hypergamy or femininity schools, don't spend money on levelling up groups or content from people who have not taken the steps or aren't able to level up, and use what free resources you can before going and spending money you can save. I've been asked a number of times why I don't charge for advice, make a paid patreon, or start another group that women can pay to get into now that my private group is closed, I always say that I won't make women pay for the knowledge that I've gotten for free and that I'm constantly still evolving and levelling up, I am 20 years old, do you really think that even though I have a good man and a good life that I'm fully developed and truly know what I want? No, and that's one of the reasons why I don't charge, the second being that I'm inconsistent and I know that I don't have the time to run another group. Anyway, use your free resources and books to get it going. I believe in you and you can do it, we all had to start somewhere and you have to find a point to start going forward from.
Learn that people don't care where you came from, they care about who you and what you are now!
This is the most important thing. I rarely talk about this but I was pretty severely abused up until my Grandparents adopted me and I was taken into their care. I don't remember anything before they took me in but I have cigarette burns on my chest and other obvious signs of abuse, I was severely ill for years, and my birth family is sort of messed up. If you're open and honest from the start, men will love you for who you are, they won't care about where you came from. Pedigree and elegance can be designed to your liking, not every woman who made it into high society was born into it. I've met Rwandan and Ethiopian ladies who made it through genocides, I've met Bosnian ladies who made it through really awful concentration camps and genocides, I've met ladies who have survived the collapse of their countries and destructions of their homes and families, I've met physically disabled ladies and ladies with mental differences and ladies with illnesses, and I've met ladies who have known and experienced terrible poverty and have had terrible pasts but have risen up and done just fine. You shouldn't have to lie about your past, you can choose not to divulge what you've been through but you should feel able to embrace your past and you should be comfortable speaking about things, there's no point in being around people if you can't be who you truly are and talk about what happened in your past and how you became who you are now. Not everyone has the privilege of having had a good past, you should be able to come to terms with anything that's happened to you and feel like you're around people who are safe and who will love you regardless of how bad things were for you.
Be cognisant of the emotions of others!
You need to be empathetic, caring, accepting, compassionate, and an active listener. You need to care about people and treat them like they're people, not just wallets or endless opportunities. You're not going to succeed or do too well if people feel like you're just using them. You need to be a lover and a friend and you need to be able to show that you belong in their circles because you're their friend. I had the misfortune of talking to a woman who I know will never win or be satisfied because she was of the opinion that the easiest way to understand a man's heart was to break it, the issue with that is that you're going out of your way to hurt people who probably don't deserve your wrath or the weight of your issues and you're hurting yourself in the process, why have a broken love with a man that you've broken when you could be in love with and be loved by someone who loves and supports you as you support and love them? You know who you are now but not what you may become in the future, always strive to be better and treat others better, you'll find that being compassionate and having a sparkling reputation will benefit you much more than being frigid and pushing people away so you can look like you're exclusive. It's always better to be lovable rather than popular, genuine rather than false, and to speak kindly, act sincerely, and to always speak considerately and act consistently. Your reputation defines you and you need to be a woman worth her word and a trusted friend, if you're not, you'll lose out big in the long run.
I've been quite busy lately but I plan to post an outfit guide or two today and then post an ask that I was sent that I think is important for me to answer. It'll go more into depth about why beauty doesn't really end up being the first thing that super affluent men want and it'll have more of my own experiences from clubs and I'll talk about my Aunts, my Grandma, and a few of my cousins and how they've never ever had any issues and how they made up for what they lacked in looks with hobbies, interests, good presentation, and achievements and accomplishments. I think it's really important for me to stress how being jaw-droppingly beautiful and nothing else isn't going to benefit you, regular society is extremely looks based but you'll see that looks are last on the list in truly high society and that even if you're beautiful, you won't go far without a heavily loaded resume and plenty of achievements.
