Awake. Rubens startles awake, and the blood on his hands is not real. He stares at the ceiling, counting the cracks that he sees there, as he desperately tries to breathe. His heart is suffocating him, refusing to let his lungs deflate, and the crack in the curtains does not allow for much light.

Five, six, seven...

Rubens' eyes are still alight when he shifts to the side, flailing his hand a few times before managing to turn on the light. The brightness hurts his eyes, but the pain causes a short gasp, after which his breathing comes a little easier.

Eighteen, nineteen, twenty...

His heart still thunders, but it is beginning to slow. The bright wallpaper, the ugly carpet, the computer light slowly fading in and out, a reminder that last night he did not shut it down...

The clock reads 02:43.

Rubens takes a few more deep breaths, grabs a hair bobble from his bedside table, and pulls it all into an ugly ponytail.

It was not that nightmare, but he still feels better with nothing on his neck.

He will not sleep again, not when his heart keeps patter-pattering and his eyes refuse to close. It is not even worth trying; Rubens swings himself from the bed, and slips from the room.

Careful of Johnny's need to rest he tiptoes across the flat. The kitchen door creaks very slightly as it opens, and the harsh lights immediately spring a headache when Rubens turns them on.

It does not matter; he blinks the stars away.

With proper vision restored Rubens moves to the sink, taking a plastic cup from the drainer and filling it with water. He leans a little on the counter, staring out the window and towards their back wall. Some sort of climbing plant is winding out of the flowerbeds Balu insists on maintaining, and up the plain wall at the back of the property.

Rubens takes a deep breath and skims his eyes along it, taking a sip of water for every five leaves he counts. It is difficult in the dark, but the forced concentration is truly what he needs.

The nightmare was not even a memory wrapped in distortion; it truly had just been a dream. Such are easier to find his footing again after, but no less terrifying at the start.

Rubens' throat feels like it hurts as he swallows.

It does not, he knows all is fine, but the false sensation remains.

Slowly he finishes the water, and tosses the cup in the sink to become the morning's problem. With his heart rate back to normal, Rubens flicks off the kitchen light, and slips his way back to the bedroom.

Not his own bedroom, however; he stops a door early, letting himself into Johnny's room.

With no concern for anything Rubens approaches the bed, amusement quirking his scowl into a tiny smile as he hears his best friend snore. After so long Rubens doubts that second thoughts are even possible, but he still picks up the blankets before he has any.

His practice at this clearly on display, Rubens slips under the cover, and nestles into Johnny's side.

That, finally, earns a response. Johnny grunts at him, turning over to squint in the low light. Rubens shuffles closer, hands to himself even as he pushes his face against Johnny's sideways chest.

"Rubens?" Johnny's voice is full of sleep, though growing more alert. "What's- Nightmare?"

Rubens nods his head, seeing no reason to elaborate further.

A large arm shifts, worming under the blankets to wrap around Rubens' form. He curls deeper into the touch, pressing himself also against Johnny's skin.

"G'back sleep," Johnny slurs, sleep claiming him once more.