My job? I’m the bat enemy in 2D games that flies at you from a diagonal angle you can’t shoot in, it’s an under appreciated role but really serves to test the player’s understanding of the mechanics leading up to harder challenges. I also receive an intense smug satisfaction when they can’t hit me.
I am learning that many of you are not accustomed to controlling your character in such a way to precisely align your vertical axis with another target at the same time your slightly delayed ranged attack reaches its apex, a skill important to platformers I exist to teach. Also kyeheheheheh~
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I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing
TYPING QUIRK: "shortenin stuff where i can. cant be typin all day. you got somethin for me? spit it out. i got somethin for you? i'll keep it to three sentences or less."
(Preference towards shortened sentences with clipped words. They prefer brevity and function in communication over flourish and theatrics.)
LUNAR PREFERENCE: Derse Dreamer
CLASSPECT: Seer of Mind
Your name is KIPPYR WULTON. You live in a SHACK in the WOODS. You've always preferred a life of privacy, and you love all of the not worrying about being killed in your sleep that not living in a city affords you.
Another perk of your rural living choices is the absolute wealth of STUFF in the willderness. COLLECTING and APPRECIATING all of your WICKED COOL TREASURE gives you life. You tend to have a keen eye for value in what others might see as usless. Your friends often call you a KLEPTOMANIAC and a HOARDER, but you prefer to see yourself as an APPRAISER and CURATOR. This interest of yours is fueled by the fact that the woods surrounding your house are jam-packed with DUNGEONS and CRYPTS, ripe for the picking! You can't keep everything in your pockets, even if you are wearing your iconic TWO JACKETS, so you try not to leave the house without your trusty SATCHEL.
Whenever you're not plundering and indexing your many prizes and curios, you're otherwise a HABITUAL DABBLER. You absolutely love getting little tastes of everything. Yesterday you picked up beatboxing. The week before that you were learning to weld. Tomorrow, who knows! You've heard that SPEEDRUNNING is pretty fun, maybe you'll get into that. Most of the time, however, you tend to just FUCK AROUND and PHILOSOPHIZE about utter bullshit. Everything is connected somehow, and you love to TRACK PATTERNS in all things.
Kippyr's main ability is their research and development into the RPS chart, which is of course an ontologically infallibe rulebook to the warring forces of the universe (it's Rock Paper Scissors).
At the start of the story, the RPS chart is fairly small, looking something like this.
Though as their session continues it grows larger and larger, until it contains a comprehensive list if all things (physical and conceptual) in the universe, including how they connect and interact with each other.
Kippyr's strength is that they can access anything they might need in their satchel, which is eventually upgraded to act as effectively infinite hammer space.
As a Seer of Mind player, they break down problems into steps and work backwards until they have a solution. Most of their session involves progressively crazier and more bombastic reveals, like how they figured out "Two-ton steel porcupine" instantly beats "Gate 1 boss, Tr'ullia Gobmaw", or the shocking reveal that the perfect counter to "Lock carved by the ancients" was, in fact, "Napkin folded up into a paper frog and set on the ground for a week".
Studying this list is something Kippyr dedicates YEARS of their life to. Their end-game gear allows them to access different volumes of knowledge stored on external mental hard drives, as their limited mortal mind couldn't possibly understand the RPS fractal all at the same time. Also, when they need to fetch an ID number for an item on the chart, it's represented by a double-sided barcode printed out on an old timey stock ticker.
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Further context: Durham city council (Reform UK) cut funding and support for Pride. The Durham Miner's Association and other trade unions raised enough money for Durham Pride 2026 to go ahead - a direct call back to when Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) raised money for mining communities when Margaret Thatcher seized union funding during the miner strikes of 1984-85.
At the 1985 Labour party meet, the motion to support LGBT rights as a party was passed due to a block vote from mining unions.
Stephen Guy, the chair of the Durham Miners’ Association, said that when it became apparent Durham Pride was under threat, he took it upon himself to “encourage the trade union movement to step up and do the right thing, and stand shoulder to shoulder with the LGBT+ community […] They not only raised funds for us, but came to our communities, uplifted our spirits when they were down, and showed their solidarity.”
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It's June, motherfuckers, and you know what that means! Apart from firing a few rent-lowering shots to filter out the chuds from my following, it's probably also a good time to post a reminder that there are many strange ways to be queer, and this is one of them.
video transcript below the cut, may be slightly inaccurate, I tend to ad-lib when reading my scripts into voiceover
It's Pride Month, so if you'll forgive me I'm taking a two minute break from the One Piece, League of Legends, Marvel Rivals, Final Fantasy and Pokémon shorts to tell you… Sylveon is trans, Taliyah is trans, everyone on the Straw Hats is queer, there are no words to describe how queer superheroes are as a concept let alone how queer they all are individually, and here's a fun fact for you: Cloud Strife's story gets ten times better when you understand it as an allegory for a trans coming out experience.
As for me, well, I'm not trans, but I do occupy my own little space in the rainbow flags which looks like this. I am aromantic.
We are generally not as visible as many of our queer siblings, probably at least partly because it's kind of a difficult identity to even discover in yourself, you basically have to prove a negative.
But what is this thing, "aromantic"? Well… okay, let's say you're a straight guy, right. You know the way you feel romantically about other men? I feel exactly the same way, and then I also feel that way about women, and then also the same way about all of the other genders.
Now, aromantic often goes along with asexual, there's a lot of co-occurrence of the two, but not always, and that is my situation. Yes to sex, no to romance, which being a man, yes, I know, that just makes me the same as 90% of the men you match on Hinge. "Ha ha ha didn't realize "fuccboi" was an orientation now," I know. I get it. I understand. I have had all the same thoughts myself, especially when I was questioning.
Which is the difficulty with being aromantic, because in order to figure out that that's what you are, you have to prove a negative. I have never been in love, and I have no reason to think I ever will be… but what if someday I meet The One??? What if there's a special divinely designated perfect soulmate out there, just waiting for me, and one day our eyes will meet across the room and it will be love at first sight forever?
And like. I can't prove that won't happen, anymore than I can prove that there isn't a flowery pink teapot currently hiding somewhere in the orbit of Saturn. And frankly, if it did happen, I wouldn't be mad. Why would I be? I would have a soulmate! That's a pretty big W, I think.
But… I've had over thirty years to encounter someone—anyone—who can spark my romantic interest, and thus far, every challenger of every gender has failed. So either I am aromantic, or else you people have a skill issue.
Anyway, like anything to do with queerness, aromantic is a sprawling and diverse spectrum. You got your aroaces, aroallos, aroflux, arospikes, demiromantics, frayromantics, grayromantics, cupioromantics, there's a whole world of different experiences present under this umbrella. For me, though, just "aromantic" is fine. That's the broad label, that's the one I fall under, that's the identity I take pride in. Happy June!
it was this episode that also gave us Teal'c pondering why Rya'c would ever think he's not proud of him, and Bra'tac saying, "Because you are his father, and you have not told him otherwise."
we talk a lot about Grace being touch-starved, and obviously i agree, but i can't help but wonder if Rocky is going through something similar
eridians aren't fleshy, and they probably don't feel things the same way humans do, but i just. i bet he still misses the feel of another eridian touching him. i bet he still misses curling up together, stone against stone, the weight of someone else a physical thing
the xenonite barrier problem goes both ways, doesn't it. Rocky just gets to go home
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Digital circus' biggest problem is that it was written to be a niche show aimed at weird analytical queers with actual media literacy and it accidentally blew tf up and hit the mainstream and a bunch of people who have never had a second thought about anything got into it
Digital circus: hey let's discuss existentialism, what makes someone human, how to cope with loss and regret, and the hedgehog's dilemma. you've all read I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, right?
