ripping chip

Girlfailures 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

i came out the womb suckin on a perc laced cuban leaf burrito, wearing a tiny rolex on each finger. my mind is an iron fortress and my face is made of granite

you guys are all so mean to beer apologize right now. think of what chilchuck would say

I’ve tried a few porn games, but all they have such bad user design. so like one of the games was a platformer, I thought okay, I used to play mario, this’ll be no problem. WRONG. I couldn’t even get through the first level. two straight hours of missing the same jumps and near sobbing about it. at what point am I supposed to get horny? I can’t even reach the naked demon lady because I CANNOT! MAKE! THE JUMPS! so I try another game about seducing milfs. you need to clean the milf’s house to make her like you. okay, I have limited energy per in-game day, so I vacuum her house, I tidy her magazines, I clean her dishes, I go to sleep. this repeats for days. the milf still doesn’t like me. why?? I’ve spent real hours of my life vacuuming her digital floor. why won’t the milf fall in love with me? what am I doing? what am I doing?

Ezcuse me ladies everything you just said about wile e coyote being a cocksucking faggot and being passed around at college parties and sucking his husbands cock and cruising at home depot has been echoed and amplified out your open ground floor window to our leasing office where we are discussing not renew8ng your lease when its up and we all have heard everything you just said

I dont think humans are meant to be monogamous like your relationship is destined for failure unless you sometimes include the little green alien that taps on the window at night