Ok, here’s the LA Fitness story @funnyrunner
I decided a few weeks ago I wanted to join a gym, especially one that had some personal training options. I reached out to a few to see what they were about, and Ricky from LAF told me to come in, take a tour, and we could chat. He was also going to have the head personal trainer, Eric, meet us. Cool.
While I could go into the horrid details, I’ll keep it high level. They were the WORST SALESPEOPLE I’ve ever encountered. Think the stereotypical used car salesmen, and triple it. Then add a heavy dose of bro factor. They seriously put on a (poorly acted) show for me when we finally sat down to talk numbers. I wanted a gym membership, not a math lesson. Here’s how part of it went down:
Ricky: “Ok, so there are 3 membership tiers. You pay this much for enrollment, then you pay first and last months membership, and then you pay this other silly fee because I said so. Ya follow?”
Eric: “And then for personal training, you can choose from these 3 packages and tiers. The higher the tier the higher my man bun goes. Oh and there’s also an enrollment fee here too but I’ll throw in a nifty little journal to really help you crush your goals.”
Ricky: “Dude! Eric! Tomorrow is the last day of the month. I totally forgot. That means I can slash your enrollment price down by $50. And wait, scratch that first column and let’s reference row 3, subset C.”
Eric: “Bro, you’re so right. Let me see if I can do even better. I bet I can top you. Here’s what I can do... I can knock down the price per personal training session by $10 if you commit to 5 sessions per week and your firstborn child.”
Ricky: “No way dude - you can do that? Wow you must really like her.”
Eric: “Yeah I can only do this like once a year but I feel like she’s really into this program.” (Did they forget I was sitting right there??)
Ricky: “Ok, so this will cost about $972 out of pocket today to get you started. But like, I could call corporate right now if that’s too much. Is that too much? Visa or Discover?”
I repeat... I just wanted a gotdang gym membership. Not another mortgage payment. Not to sign my life away for the next six years. Not to be talked to like I was a simple little woman.
Through all of this they drew and scribbled and crossed things out and underlined random numbers on an 8.5x11” piece of paper. The paper looked like it was in code. Really bad code.
It legit took me a solid 25 minutes to get out the door. They wouldn’t let me leave. They tried everything to get me to stay and sign up. I nearly started crying just so they’d let me out the door. (Don’t judge me, it’s all I can do in situations like this!)
So that’s the high-level story. Needless to say I joined a smaller family-owner gym for one easy monthly price. I am much happier.
