Her eyes immediately look down at his hand and her own twitches. She noticed it moved slightly before stopping completely. Nina wants to hold it. To feel the chill of his hand in comparison to her warm ones. Would he find it weird? Would he yank his hand away? Would he even care? She ignores her thoughts as she looks him in the eye.Â
Who was she to be scared- this was her father. She could do what she pleased and if that meant she wanted to hold his hand then she would. Quickly, she grabbed his hand and looked away. âLead the way.â
She doesnât say anything as they walk. The sounds of the carnival were loud- too loud. It reminded her of something. Loud noises, healing, death. Her grip on his hand tightens and sheâs thankful for when he speaks.Â
If only he asked something elseâ
The deep blush spreads across her face at his question. She hesitates but speaks. âNo its not homework,â she pauses. Now what if he says your weird? It wouldnât make sense though cause she got it from him. Not the writing but the language in it. She sighs- there would be no point in lying to him.Â
âFanfiction. I can show you if you want. Just to stay pure- not that you are, skip the following pages. 23, 30, 45, 65, i think 76, 116, 154, and 200.â She pulls out a small red journal. She couldnât stop the small laugh that escaped her. It wasnât any ordinary journal, it was one dedicated to stories about Niles.
She saw a black stuffed bear at one of the stations. It was cute. She didnât even realize how long she stared at it until she remembered that Niles had her journal. She turned to him with a smirk. âDo you like it?â
He remembers when her entire hand used to fit in his palm. Heâd marveled at her for hours, unable to believe how small she was, afraid to even breathe in case itâd startle her. Look at her now.
Niles canât help the smile on his face as he squeezes her hand. He mightâve missed years of her life, including all the firsts and celebrations and pains that he swore to see her through, but sheâs given him a second chance. This time, he wonât waste itâno matter the reason or the threat.
âŚWhat the fuck is that?
âThatâs a lot of pages to skip,â Niles chuckles, but heâs more than happy to take her journal. He flips to a random page, careful not to land on one that sheâd advised he skip, but the truth of the matter is that heâs terrible at reading. In his youth, heâd never had reason to learn; what mattered was how quickly he could break in and swipe away valuables, not how well he could read the signs that undoubtedly warned against trespassing. And in his servitude to Leo, what had mattered, again, were his more practical skills; there had never been any need to learn, not really.
He regrets it now. Heâd love to read his daughterâs works and thoughts and understand them for what they are, instead of just being able to catch bits and piecesâlike this one. Niles.Â
His smile widens. (âŚSo sheâs been writing about him, has she? Well, he doesnât doubt thereâs not many good things to write, but in time, he hopes to fix that. Perhaps after tonight, sheâll have cause for a new entry: my father and I went to the carnival, and I had fun. Something like that.)
âI love it,â Niles says instead, gently closing the journal and returning it to her. âAnd I wouldnât mind if you showed me more some other time. Maybe when the lights are a little brighter?â And maybe after heâs had some time to extract a favor or two to learn how to actually read.
âBut for nowâŚâ Theyâve arrived at the carnival, and itâs in full swing. Niles even has to raise his voice a little to be heard over the din of the crowd and the music constantly playing. ââŚI saw you stare at something. Lead the way; tonight, weâll do anything you want.â
And maybe for once, heâll get to act like a proper father.