What The Heck Am I Reading?! @episode-escapades - Tumblr Blog

Okay so I tried playing some Episode today because I’ve been neglecting this blog and realised something. There are things that I feel really cripplingly insecure about, but in the last few months they haven’t really been bothering me, and I’ve noticed that I stopped worrying so much about it all when I stopped reading Episode.

Sure enough today when I started reading some stories, those feelings came right back and I got super depressed. I just don’t think I can handle anything involving school settings/parties/college, which is like... what every Episode story is. I’m not sure if it’s severe enough to count as a trigger, but for the sake of my mental health, I deleted the app. I’m sorry but I think reading Episode so much really negatively impacted me for a long time and I don’t want to do that to myself anymore.

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I redownloaded Episode and now it has a VIP option that I’m never going to buy. Also when did they start doubling the length of all their stories?

Hashtag relatable

#episode: choose your story #out of context

Good job trying to make these characters kiss, Episode. Instead it looks like Cara’s sniffing Jelly’s hair.

The f***ing teacher? Well, I guess it saves on making another character model.

Welp, we wanted this teacher to die and it looks like we’re going to get our wish.

Sigh. Why do I feel like this is going to be annoying.

I am not in the mood for an outfit choice right now. Can’t we just smuggle ourselves in through the back door?

Well the middle one sounds the most ridiculous, but what do you guys think?

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #jelly #cara #shay #mr. baer

Methinks the author had something on their mind.

#episode: choose your story #out of context

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HURRY UP AND FIND THE PART THATS HELPFUL!

Well this is a pickle. The only other vampire we know of is the dude from the intro, so maybe it’s him?

So Cara was there when it happened, but she can’t remember anything? I mean it’s possible she repressed it... I guess?

At this point, I’d believe anything. I still find these vampiric powers more believable that the ones in Twilight.

Oh boy. Need I ask? Which one should I choose?

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #jelly #cara

What a shitty choice to make. Well like I said, I don’t believe Jelly would be willing to do this considering she’s known Shay for less than a day. So I’m picking “No”.

Reasonable excuses. Hope Shay doesn’t angst about it though.

Nope. She’s just horny.

Wow Cara, your priorities are awful.

My thoughts exactly!

And this sentence is so weird and pseudo-incestuous that Shay jumps over the side of the building.

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #shay #jelly #cara

And then Shay turns invisible apparently? I don’t think that’s a vampiric ability so I’m gonna declare this a glitch.

Dang, it was only the last post in which I asked this question:

It’s post-ception.

And wouldn’t you know it, that’s the end of the second chapter. This story is... surprisingly moving it’s plot along really fast. Too fast, I think. I would have thought this kind of conflict wouldn’t turn up until near the end but we’re doing it already. I don’t believe for a second that after talking to her three times at most, Jelly would be willing to let Shay turn her. Soulmate link or not, that’s unrealistic as balls.

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #jelly #shay

Oh God we’re going to end up going, aren’t we? -_-

How long before Jelly starts asking to be turned into a vampire?

How frigging convenient that this is the first book you pick up.

Yes, the author did indeed want you to find it.

Well... what happens if someone loses their soul? Maybe it won’t be so bad? Also, this book might be full of shit?

Of course! Well Jelly, looks like you’re gonna become a vampire earlier than I thought.

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #jelly #cara #shay #mr. baer

Because this is totally how pregnancy works.

#episode: choose your story #out of context

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I didn’t think Jelly would end up being one of the more horny protagonists xD She’s second only to Sriracha.

Right so they do have a weird soulmate pain link. I should enjoy this because I love soulmate AUs, but this is Episode, so... how do they screw it up?

Jelly is taking this way too well, right? Like, she’s just found out that vampires and magic are real, but instead of being shook she’s just totally on board with it all.

Told you this plan sucked! Now you’re cornered!

35 gems?! Why is everything in this story so damn expensive?!

You shouldn’t be here either!!!

I hope you get your throat ripped out by Shay. But then again, what did they expect to accomplish by hiding in there?

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #jelly #cara #shay #hunter

I don’t actually know what happened here because these scenes are so clunkily put together. Either Hunter hit Jelly, or he hit Shay and Jelly felt it.

I guess shove her off him. Because neither of those other options sound useful.

.....HOW WOULD THAT HELP?! You aren’t allowed in there and Hunter can follow you in anyway!

Jelly, I admire your dedication to getting this girl into the shower with you but this plan still sucks.

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #jelly #shay #hunter

First time I’ve seen a kid in these games getting yelled at because they didn’t skip school.

.....I’m not sure what this implies???

Look, from one cop’s child to another... go diddle yourself.

Okay now I actually am starting to feel sorry for her... even though I doubt her dad’s reasons for tipping off the police are that dickish (maybe).

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #cara #aya #shay #hunter

Yeah, why would she- a student- dare show up at school?

You ever feel so horny that the world gets tinted pink around you?

Good job on embarrassing them, you idiot.

Frigging understatement. High school students are relentless assholes about this kind of thing.

What’s the female version of a cock fight because apparently that’s what’s going on right now.

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #jelly #aya #shay #cara

30 gems?! Even for this game that’s appalling.

Yeah, if I had the money to pay women to climb into my bedroom, I wouldn’t be using it in a game, lemme tell ya.

She’ll be fine. We have fourteen more chapters so Shay dying would make this the quickest resolved love triangle ever.

The heck is that this is the EpisodeVerse, and we can’t have a girl walking around with facial flaws, can we?

OH GOD I SOMEHOW FORGOT THAT HIGH SCHOOL IS A THING IN THESE STORIES.

And then she was made fun of for the rest of the year.

Oh, are they all going to get paranoid about history repeating itself?

#episode: choose your story #blood lust #jelly #cara #shay

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??????????????

God that looks silly.

Well if it weren’t for Shay, Jelly might have drowned so I can’t be too mad (yet).

“I don’t have the strength to stay away from you.”

After recently reading part of Midnight Sun I just... I can’t enjoy this kind of dynamic. Sorry Shay, Edward Cullen has ruined you before Episode could.