Hindsight Is Everything

thinking about cabbage selective breeding evolution

Big mood.

The best part is how you can see he’s trying SO HARD not to laugh here

Tim Curry: I’m escaping to the ONE place that hasn’t been corrupted by capitalism! [shaky breaths while trying not to smile] sssPACE

The funniest thing about this is that it implies this was the best possible take

the way men think eating meat feeds into their masculinity is so fucking funny like miss thing you didn’t wrestle that shit with your bare hands you took your dumpy ass to costco in your wife’s pt cruiser you might as well be a drag queen at this point

Sometimes reminiscing about pre-quarantine I feel like minor Russian royalty reminiscing about pre-communist revolution times. I’m like...ah yes I used to wear different beautiful outfits to work every day and shake the hands of many people without fear. I would simply leave my house and stroll into a bar for a last-minute cocktail with a friend. I would knock back oysters, sitting elbow-to-elbow with others at the counter. there were plays and concerts I never went to. The tzar invited us over often and had a GIANT chandelier

my skills include reading an entire page of an academic text without absorbing a single word

gimme the soup boys and free my soul , i wanna eat soup out a little bowl , and drift away…

god left-clicking me & right-clicking a random gas station in the middle of an interstate over 1400 miles away & I just stand up & exit my house & start jogging at a moderate pace

[STRIKES MY WIZARD STAFF ON THE GROUND AND IMMEDEATELY DUCKS BEHIND A ROCK]

[THERES A FLASH OF LIGHT AND THE RITUAL CHAMBER IS COVERED IN SPAGHETTI]

[I OPEN MY GRIMOIRE AND MAKE ANOTHER TALLY UNDER THE COLUMN LABELLED "SPAGHETTI"]

[THE OTHER COLUMN IS MARKED "SUMERIAN HARVEST GOD" AND IS COMPLETELY BLANK]

when the teacher says we’re doing class outside today like it’s supposed to be fun

give a man a fire and hell be warm for a day. teach a man to fire and youll get your liver pecked out by an eagle every day for the rest of eternity