EPCOT Center

I’m flattered to be asked, but since my insights are aesthetic, not political, I’ll be as prosaic as the next geek with a blog: it sucks. I’m desensitized–the last time they dismissed an important chunk of the California theme was only a month ago–but it sucks.

Presumably (1) the Suits demanded it, (2) there’s no space to expand the park, and even if there were, (3) a cheap overlay will be just as much of a draw as an expensive new building?

I will say: aesthetically, I’m skeptical that they’ll successfully adapt the franchise. If you ask a fan what they like about Guardians of the Galaxy, it’ll be a long time before they mention the Collector, or any of the film’s locations, or any of its setpieces.

The appeal of the movie is how it juxtaposes sitcommy characters with an epic space saga. (Also, its ironic soundtrack.) You don’t need a Tower of Terror to adapt that. You could do it with a friggin’ dance party.

But let’s say that no, the Suits are demanding a cheap overlay of a ride, I still think Tower is a weird choice. Even if settings and setpieces were the appeal of the movie, a drop tower doesn’t adapt how the characters experience them.

To me, Star Tours is the most obvious victim for a Guardians overlay. Its madcap tone would actually suit the ride even better than Star Wars does. It would be easy to work in all the cameos and the soundtrack, and the experience would actually feel like one the film’s setpieces. Plus, Star Wars is getting its own land, so it’s not like it needs the representation.

If I had to find a victim in Disney World that wasn’t Star Tours, the most obvious one is Rock ‘n Roller Coaster. It’s a fun ride whose theming is all cheap and easily replaceable. Film the characters for the pre-show, re-theme the vehicles, remove the big cheap sets, randomize Awesome Mix Vol. 1, and voila! Not only cost-effective, but it would also improve the ride. Everyone goes home happy.

(via Disney’s California Adventure Soarin’ over the World. First ride. - YouTube)

Hmmmm.

It may be overly cynical of me, indeed, but the first thought upon viewing this was how ‘fake’ some of the footage seemed. Of course, Soarin’ Over Califonia had staged moments and people had to be cued to do certain action - the horse riders, the guy faceplanting while skiing, the Blue Angels, etc. But parts of this look blatantly like CGI or manipulative editing combined - the orca splash, for instance, right when camera swoops by, and guaranteed some of the dust/fog/swooping birds are CGI assisted for scene transitions. It just leaves me cold overall, though the inclusion of the Matterhorn and Neuschwanstein castle amused and were deliberate inclusions for Disneyland reference, I have no doubt.

I think what seems ‘off’ to me about it is sense of it being actively manipulated, not just staged - the way things were going I was halfway expecting to see Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth on the tropical island beach with the rum fire, and I guess that speaks to what it feels like for me- a bit too much tweaked and manipulated to be ‘cute’ at points, rather than feeling like an organic visit to all the locals as Soarin Over California, even with some cued events to add life and vitality. Also, Michael Eisner doesn’t have a bizarre cameo, so points off for that (this is what we call a joke).

Soarin’ Over California prioritized the journey over the destination. We flew through a bunch of scenic locations, and it didn’t matter if we could identify where we were, because they were all magnificent. “Be here now,” sort of thing.

Soarin’ Around the World prioritizes the destination over the journey. We just sort of hover around really obvious (and, as Lilly noted, unconvincing) landmarks. The Walt Disney Company spent billions of dollars to adapt the world’s least inspiring post cards into a ride.

What a flat narrative experience. “Here’s a famous place! Wowee! Here’s another!” It’s like star-fucking, but with locations instead of stars, and pretending to be a tourist instead of sex.

And y'know what? The sex isn’t even that good! If we’re flying through India, and we’re seeing the Taj Mahal instead of, say, a jungle or the ghats in Varanasi–and we’re actually seeing an unconvincing CG Taj Mahal instead of the real deal–can’t we at least, like, circle around the property? Appreciate it from every angle?

Soarin’ Around the World: out-imagined and -experienced by just about anyone with SketchUp.

First new Martin video of the year, it’s The American Adventure!

Finally, an edit I’ve always wanted to do. Starting with a full concepts and construction section, trace the attractions development back to a Futureworld ride through, the changes to a theatre show and early plans. Next see how the show was designed and built, how a technological marvel operates, and the opening dedication.

Next take a full tour both outside and inside, including a full look at all the artwork, furniture and flags on both lobby levels. Walk into the theatre and experience the full show, shot from multiple angles in full HD for complete coverage.

Each rear projected piece of art was either resampled and composited or scanned from original artwork, and then re-animated to match the projected version exactly with no blur, shake or flicker. The audio was remixed in stereo matching original attraction dialogue, sound effects and stereo musical scores for a source quality stereo soundtrack.

Includes the full 2007 source quality Golden Dream finale. After the show, walk around the exterior looking at various details and finally see the changes to the pavilion since 1982, from the minor to the 1993 animatronic replacement with a side by side comparison plus a source quality complete original 1982 Golden Dream and the full 1993 version too.

Shot with a relaxed video ban.