・ 𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐎𝐌𝐏𝟒 … enzo marx . twenty4 year old idiot . alexa play floodlights on the square by boston manor . loathed and loathed by axel .
⏤ ・ 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. ・ 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭. ・ 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭. ・ ( 𝐰𝐜 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 + 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐬. )

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・ 𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐎𝐌𝐏𝟒 … enzo marx . twenty4 year old idiot . alexa play floodlights on the square by boston manor . loathed and loathed by axel .
⏤ ・ 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. ・ 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭. ・ 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭. ・ ( 𝐰𝐜 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 + 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐬. )

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“i want to feel what i feel. what’s mine. even if it’s not happiness.”
living in the moment . it was something she often did , a permanent sense of fight or flight when it came to the things that were happening around her . secondary to the depth of her barriers , complex commitment issues was the fact she had spent the longest time in survival mode . whatever good she tasted was gone in seconds , the flavor nothing more than a tease of what would never be again . she learned how delicately you had to hold the things you enjoyed between your teeth ... tear them apart tenderly because there was no way that they could stay . it was a cruel way of treating others , the few that cared about her leaving with their own scars ... but they healed quickly . she was always the one to blame . it was easier that way .
" share a hotdog ? another insult from you , " implication that she would share anything rude . she liked to have her own everything , even a good not something she would like to commit to halving with someone without feeling the need to snatch it back . what's mine is mine and what's yours ... could have also been mine . she learned that from her parents . " i already know that my arm is a lot better than your puny thing ... " glances over him in a way that infers she's insulting him but the corners of her lips are twitched into a familiar smile . he had put up with her for this long , she knows that he won't take it personally . strands of highlighted hair tossing in the dimmed light as she turns around , seeming to be walking away before she glances over her shoulder to beckon . " come on then ... i'm going to put you to shame . might even make you cry ... don't say i didn't warn you , " as she prepares for the ring toss escapades .
maybe there was something about the way merci kept enzo at arms length that kept him there ? he wanted her attention, he wanted her to want him around, he wanted her approval. for whatever reason, he wanted to feel accepted and needed by her. then again, that was how enzo was. this almost debilitating feeling of wanting to be wanted by people but always seemingly never being fully wanted by anyone. and maybe that was why he kept coming back to merci because deep down he knew, she wasn't ever going to want him. maybe for someone that so fully put themselves out there, this was his version of letting himself down easy ? knowing that there was always going to be something in the way of anything actually working out in the end. it didn't matter how badly or how much he tried to hold on, nothing lasted and nothing stuck around. so, yes, he'd continue to go through the ups and downs and the push and pull. but that was just one part of their relationship. enzo truly did believe they were friends and he did care about her... even if she didn't really allow him to do it all that much.
enzo couldn't help but laugh at her reaction, always finding the way she responded back to him amusing. he did know her enough to be able to handle her jokes, retorts and sarcasm. besides, the way they were so completely opposite from each other left a sort of comedic relief to enzo. he'd be out here rambling on about the most idiotic and random things and she'd so easily shut him down. there was something hilarious about that to the male. ❛ i don't know merci, these puny arms are capable of a lot. it's part of the charm, an element of surprise. ❜ tilting his head to the side, he pressed his lips together and shrugged his shoulders. going along with the sarcasm that laced through his words, putting on his best serious act as possible. that was before, a smile snuck across his lips shortly after. quickly, he caught up to her, walking besides her as they headed over to where ring toss was set up. ❛ should the winner get a prize or are we just going with bragging rights ? ❜
moving on from something so integral in her life was harder than enduring the very people who had driven her to leave in the first place. leaving behind the person who had made her whole was something she knew she would never heal from. and it would have been easier had something happened, had he broken her heart, she could feel angry and watch her love for him fall away out of hurt. that wasn't the case though, and that hit the hardest. it wasn't even him that caused this to begin with, she did. it had never been about him not being enough, if anything he had been more than enough in the way someone who loves you so fearlessly is, willing to stay even when it could've destroyed him. she'd seen it in his eyes back then, how he believed in them just as she had, and it terrified her more than anything else. she knew what her parents were, knew that the moment they realized how much he meant to her, he would've been collateral in their cruelty. how was she supposed to live with herself if that happened ? she wouldn't, couldn't even. if she knew the weight of the blame he carried, it'd make her physically ill, and part of her did know in some way. how could she not ? she wanted to tell him there wasn't anything he could've done differently, that there hadn't been a world where loving her better or fighting harder would've changed the ending she had forced on them, but she couldn't. the words would never be enough when it came to protecting him, and maybe she didn't deserve to ease that pain for him. instead, she kept it buried, let it sit between them as a ghost of everything unsaid. because what would he think if he knew the truth of the sacrifice she'd made for the sake of keeping him ? how deep would he carry his guilt had she told him what she'd faced for daring to love him in the first place ? or that she'd do it again if it meant he'd be okay ? because no amount of suffering could change the fact that she loved him, she'd always love him.
elif felt his eyes on her before she even looked over, the silent weight of being studied by him a feeling that was all too familiar. every now and then she'd glance back at him, teeth sinking into her lower lip at the sight of his eyes on her. it should have been comforting, but instead it knotted something in her chest. she'd told herself not to look too long, not to imagine what it would've been like if things were different, if she hadn't turned her back on the only person who had ever really seen her and been there for her. there were whole nights she'd convinced herself he was safer as a memory, that letting him fade was better than risking him being caught in the crossfire of her world, but standing beside him, the thought of him relegated to nothing more than a dream felt unbearable. now . . . with only a sliver of that life pressed back into her hands, she couldn't let herself linger in it too long. it hurt in a way she couldn't afford to show, not when he'd already lost so much because of her. when the silence drifted, she filled it with the safer truth, the one about home, but the word itself felt strange in her mouth, sort of like she was pretending it still belonged to her. elif spent so long dreaming of escape, of cutting ties before they tightened around him too, that 'home' had stopped feeling like something worth missing. what gnawed at her now wasn't the place she'd left, it was him, the part of her life she hadn't been able to take with her. his laugh softened the heaviness of it, and she let herself return it, just barely . . . "you don't sound crazy." she shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corners despite everything going on. "i think you're right, though. nothing about this is normal or sane, there's no real correct way to deal with something like this, and who knows when or how we're going to come out of this. what if this is forever ? how could we spend forever trying to go back to something we'll never find ? " she wanted to believe in the way he framed it, the idea of taking whatever little pieces of joy they could find here, but underneath it all, the thought kept echoing back that this closeness, these brushes of their arms, were like some cruel punishment. a reminder of what she'd walked away from, and what she could never really have back. this would end and he'd be gone again, and the healing cycle would start all over again as if she ever really made it far from the start to begin with.
she felt it as soon as he turned to face her, the way everything else around them stilled and faded away, and it had her fighting herself to try and meet his gaze. he always had a way of cutting through her defenses, even when she wasn't ready for it. part of her wanted to look anywhere else, to claw back the distance she had spent years trying to create, but she stayed rooted in place, and her gaze didn't falter from his, even though it cost her something to hold it. maybe it should've been comforting, but instead it just hurt hearing him speak so openly, because she wanted to believe him and wasn't sure she could. she wanted to tell him that she didn't know how to breathe the way he meant. that every time she tried to let go, her lungs filled with the memory of what she'd left behind, of who she'd left behind. that the idea of freedom wasn't simple, it was jagged and cruel because even when she reached for it, it cut her open. the fear looming over her shoulder was engrained into who she was, and trying to block out the noise felt almost impossible, but the words tangled in her throat the way they always did when it came to him. he made her feel seen and guilty in the same breath. "you make it sound so easy." she whispered finally, her eyes searching his as if they'd give her the answers to everything, and she'd believe him. "to just let yourself feel it and live it . . . i don't even know what that looks like anymore." there was no accusation in it, only a quiet confession, something she didn't hand out too often. her fingers tightened against the fabric at her sides, a soft sigh escaping her. "but maybe you're right, maybe it's the only way to survive this without going insane, and i feel like i've had enough surviving to last a lifetime. i just want to pretend that this is it, and the rest of it doesn't exist, that's all we can really do in this moment anyway." her eyes move toward the booth, the neon glow painting her face, then back to him. a moment stretched between them, heavy with all the things neither of them wanted to say. elif knew this was the worst idea possible in their current state, knew he had to know that too, but she reached for his hand slowly, almost like testing the air, the brush of her fingers hesitant before they finally closed around his. it wasn't easy, nothing about this was, but still, she gave in to the pull. "alright," she breathed, the words carrying more than they should. "i'm in, let's do it." the words barely left her lips before she was moving, tugging him gently with her, her hand still wrapped around his. the curtain rustled as she pulled it back, a flash of neon spilling inside as well, and for a moment she hesitated . . . because she knew what it meant to shut herself into such a small space with him, how it left no room for distance or escape, but she didn't let go. instead, she turned and slipped inside first.
the thought that this could be forever was something that enzo hadn't fully digested yet. that just like that, this would be their entire life. everyone stuck in this small town together, every big dream dissipated due to being stuck... everyone left behind, gone. there was something erie about that but there was also a curiosity... fear... and even a slight relief in being able to get away from certain parts of their lives that waited for them outside of all of this. but if there was one thing enzo learned throughout his life, it was that nothing was certain. that everything had an end, it was just knowing when that end was that was the part to question and to wonder about. enzo would always be that person that wanted to make others feel better about things and he'd always do his best to try and bring a brightness to things but he didn't always believe it. sometimes he felt he was saying it to be the version of who he felt people needed him to be. other times, he felt he said certain things, kept certain positive perspectives because he had to say it enough times to make himself believe it. otherwise, he was sure he'd end up going crazy. he'd end up a shell of himself if he let every bad thing that roamed in his head take over. his mind had always been something he'd desperately tried to run away from and if anyone knew that about him, it was elif. sure, the older he got, the more life he lived and the more hurt he went through... the more realistic he got. he was still the type to get fully passionate about things and put his all and to feel things intensely and fully. but he knew there was a part of him deep down that kept a wall up, a barrier to protect himself from just how unpredictable the world truly was. it was confusing, he threw himself into everything, it was the only way he could truly feel alive without the numbness fully taking him over but he didn't want to fully let himself go because there was a chance of getting crushed. live life to the fullest, take chances and go on adventures... never stop living especially when living already felt so difficult... but he didn't want to let his hopes grow too much that anything will truly change... enzo became such a paradox as time went on. constantly fighting himself, ( the part of himself that wore his heart on his sleeve and the part of himself that wanted to lock himself up so no one could get too close. ) all that being said, he couldn't help but think about if this really was forever than couldn't that mean that they could make their way back to each other ? the thought crossed his mind but he knew he had to stop it. he could feel his heart ache at the fact that there was still a part of him that was hopeful... that wanted to hold out hope for her when he knew he should stop that as soon as the thought popped into his head.
there was no question that all of this was incredibly hard... they were going through something so life changing, something so terrifying... but he did want to believe everything he was saying. he wanted to believe that they had to find something good in this... if not, they were all going to fully lose their minds. but he also knew that was wishful thinking. which, maybe that was something they all needed right now ? ( wishful thinking, ) something that in time, enzo had felt pathetic for. felt as though he should be more wary, more alert... that he was too hopeful and even too kind at times... but being someone that wasn't those things... it also didn't feel right. he felt there was a point in time in his life when he felt so sure of who he was but with time, he wasn't all that sure who he was anymore. then again, maybe he was just the definition of someone that was just a little lost ? ⏤ all in all, none of that actually mattered because he had become great at putting on a smile and being the person that people needed him to be. when had he not ? then there was elif, who knew him as well as she had for as long as she had. a part of him wanted to reach out and ask her to help... help him remember who it was she remembered... ask if she still saw that guy or if she could see the mask he constantly put on every morning when he woke up. did she look at him and see a stranger or was something still there ? but he couldn't ask her things like that... because things like that lead to other questions... when she looked at him, did she still care ? did she miss him ? did she still love him ? questions, he knew he shouldn't ask. questions he was almost afraid of asking. even though time had passed and they'd been living their lives without the other there... seeing her, being around her... it felt so familiar... if he could, he'd stand there and stare into her eyes all night. searching them for any type of answer to any question he had bubbling around inside his head. searching to see if she was safe... if she was okay... did she ever get away ? but if he thought about it too hard, her being there in front of him... it told him more than he'd like to realize. it told him, she didn't get away. she was still in that town... and there was something extremely heartbreaking about that. something he'd always held out some sort of hope for was that she got out of that town and ran far far away... that she was able to start her life and be free... that if what they went through was for anything, it was that in the end, he'd tell himself it was worth it because she was able to get out. but that was another thing, he knew he had to hold back. it wasn't his business, it wasn't supposed to be. besides, enzo was doing what enzo did best, he was pushing down all the hurt and feelings that he had for elif and distracting himself with what was in front of him. pushing away all the baggage and just focusing on her, right in front of him. that part of his brain, the impulsive part that just wanted to take in the moment of her being back in his life for even a split second.
as her hand slipped into his, enzo looked down at their hands for a moment before holding her hand back without hesitation. perhaps, there should've been some hesitation and maybe there would've been if he sat and thought about every single thought that floated around his head... he'd tell himself to take a step back before they both put themselves through even more hurt... sure, it was just holding hands but he wasn't sure the two of them could be in each others lives without it meaning something bigger than two exes that came back into each others lives and were friends... as much as he wanted to live in the delusion... it probably wasn't something they were capable of. right now, none of that really mattered to enzo. he'd always been the type that would pull himself or could easily get pulled into things, if he wanted it, if there was even a part of him that felt it'd fuel some kind of fire in him good or bad, he had always been the type to throw himself into it. and with elif, he'd never had a problem fully throwing himself into her and pulling her into him. once she pulled them over to the photo booth and slipped inside, enzo wasn't far behind as he moved the curtain and slipped into the booth as well. crouching down slightly so his head didn't hit the top of the booth, he sat down, leaving the little bit of space left for her. ❛ what're we thinking ? silly ? serious ? cute ? ❜ he smiled at the girl, questioning the different kind of photo poses. turning to face her more, his eyes caught hers. that same look in his eyes, like he was searching for something. he wasn't trying to look at her like that but he couldn't help it. he was trying his hardest not to let her being around him affect him... but that was turning out to be a lot more difficult than he thought. ❛ or should we just wing it ? ❜ he asked, eyes dropping to her lips for just a second before he caught himself and looked back up. turning slightly, he looked at the screen in front of them, a small clear of his throat as he started pressing different options on the screen to distract himself. ❛ i think we should just wing it, always end up with the best pictures that way. ❜
SUCCESSION (2018–2023) 4.01 The Munsters

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closed starter , @ofamystery .
it seemed as though it was always camille that was around when enzo was crashing out in some capacity. sure, this was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to an actual enzo marx crash - out but he was still seemingly always having some kind of spiral whenever camille was around. ❛ i just feel like we're wasting our time... sitting around and twiddling our thumbs waiting for something crazy to happen... maybe we gotta make it happen ? ❜ enzo wasn't really saying camille was one of the many thumb twiddlers but she was the one he was venting to about it. call it enzo being overly tired, feeling stressed, overwhelmed and lost... call it him needing to focus on anything other than the fact that he felt like he was going actually insane. so, instead here he was word vomiting the first thing that came out of his mouth. ❛ i'm just so tired of sitting around and feeling like i'm not contributing anything at all... ❜
closed starter , @mcmorable .
enzo wasn't doing much of anything of actual importance. really, he was just looking for anything and everything to distract himself since the town's event... it was all fun and games until things started to blur and the difficulty to pretend and dismiss or ignore things that were boiling up to the surface for him started to get difficult. at this point, he was just doing anything and everything to keep his brain preoccupied. ⏤ stopping in his tracks, enzo tilted his head to the side slightly as he looked at the opening in the woods, it almost looked like a little trail. a trail that was meant to be hidden. looking back at the other, enzo had a look of curiosity on his face. ❛ should we go check it out ? ❜ he questioned, enzo never being one to turn down an adventure... even if it was dark out, no one knew where they were and there was no question this particular adventure looked a little sketchy.
"i suppose i can't let you have a good time up there all by yourself. now can i ?" she would playfully joke. even if she was feeling a bit uneasy and nervous at the thought of performing karaoke in front of people right now. the main thing she was counting on was that people wouldn't be paying any sort of attention to them. wishful thinking ? maybe. but camille had been quite hopeful about it. "locking in and put on the performance of a lifetime... okay, let's do it. i'm counting on no one paying attention to the two of us out there because if i stumble over a lyric or two... no i didn't." she was trying to keep this lighthearted since she deserved to have some sort of fun. even if karaoke wasn't her ideal way of doing so. "i have a feeling you aren't going to like my answer because i doubt it would've been a song you'd know." there was a feeling he probably had no idea about any of the songs on her playlist. "and it's been officially decided ! yeah, that seems like one that everyone knows and like i said.. i'm still counting on there being barely a crowd. maybe they're busy with the movie or you know... whatever else."
❛ not if you want me to hold it against you, forever. ❜ he joked, enzo was always a great person to go to for whenever distraction you wanted. throwing himself into anything and everything around himself. doing everything in his power to push down every single thing he was feeling about not only what was going on in his own mind but what was going on around all of them. the male had always tried to be a person people could rely on. maybe it was the people pleaser in him or maybe it was just because he was genuinely the type of person that enjoyed making people smile even if he was struggling to do so himself. that being said, a distraction and it being music based ? seemed like a pretty good option to him. a smile crossed the brunettes features as he put his hand out, an offer to walk with him to the stage. ❛ m'lady, the people are waiting. ❜ he joked, the crowd was pretty small and even then enzo was really the only person actually watching the performances. everyone else was either just doing their own thing, minding their own business or off doing something else. ⏤ as they reached the stage, enzo signed their names on the sheet. it being almost immediate for them to go up on the stage. taking one of the microphones in his hand, he stopped to turn and look at camille. ❛ wait, what would you have picked ? ❜ he asked, more interested to know what kind of music camille hayes was listening to. raising the microphone up to his face, enzo looked out at the few people sitting around. ❛ testing, testing⏤ one, two, three. ❜ messing around, enzo raised his hand up, pointing towards the crowd. ❛ you ready to rock, new ham ?! ❜ he yelled out as the introduction of bohemian rhapsody started to play on the speakers. one thing about enzo... he wasn't shy when it came to things like this. being a relatively outgoing type of person. perhaps he spent so much of his life acting like he was outgoing and lively, he truly took on some of those traits. or maybe that had always just been a part of him and it wasn't an act at all ?
it was impossible to look at him and pretend it didn't undo her piece by piece. he'd always felt like home to her too in a way that was terrifying because it meant she could never really sever herself from him, no matter how many walls she built or excuses she told. it was easier to convince herself she'd left for the right reasons when he wasn't standing right in front of her, when she could cling to distance as if it dulled the reality of what she'd done. but here, with his smile catching on hers, it was impossible not to feel the weight of what they'd both lost, and what she still wanted despite herself. that was the cruelest part ⏤ knowing she'd ripped them apart with her own hands and still finding herself wanting to reach for him, still aching for the safety she only ever found in his presence, even as the knowledge sat heavy on her chest that she was the one who had ruined it. some nights she'd thought maybe it would be easier if she could hate him, easier if he gave her a reason to. instead, she was left with the unbearable truth that she had walked away from the best thing she ever had, and no amount of pretending could make that feel any less like a wound she would carry forever.
there was something almost unbearable in how okay it felt, falling back into step with him, letting the moment carry them forward as if all of the silence and heartbreak hadn't carved them hollow. she tried to keep her smile in place, tried to keep things light the way she always had when he got too close to the edges of her, but the truth of it stayed. that maybe they really weren't meant to be, that all her carefully constructed reasons and justifications were nothing more than thin paper excuses. because walking next to him like this, the ache of it forced its way into her chest in a way that distance had never been able to dull. ⏤ the photo booth loomed closer, and she hated how her pulse stuttered, how her body betrayed her in ways her mind tried so hard to resist. she should have found a reason to leave, to cut this short before it went anywhere it shouldn't, but instead she kept walking, matching her steps to his. "maybe," she began softly, almost to herself. "but vacations end. sooner or later, you have to go back home." the words escape her on a sigh and she hoped he wouldn't hear the way her voice dropped on the last word. home. she didn't even truly know what it felt like to have one of those. he was the closest thing, and she'd lost that too. the word still made her stomach tighten though, a reminder of the hell she had left behind, of parents who never really let her be. she'd hoped to build herself a life away from that, quietly, but standing next to him, even just walking as they were, it felt like the past had a hand on her shoulder again, and it could reach into her chest and pull at all the stuffing in the hollow spaces she'd tried to fill where he used to be. he was everywhere though, in every crevice, taking over no matter how hard she tried to move on. there was a part of her that wanted to press closer though, to cling to that fleeting feeling, to pretend for even a heartbeat that the world outside didn't exist. that maybe in this little bubble, in this ridiculous stolen corner of life, none of it could touch them. she let the thought linger, it was fragile and almost laughable. it couldn't be forever, and she knew that, and maybe it would end the moment she blinked and remembered who she was outside this small and temporary world. but for now, it was enough just to be beside him, just to feel the brush of his arm against hers, or the occasional accidental touch of hands, without the weight of everything else coming down, threatening to tear it all apart for the second time. "sometimes . . . it feels like this whole thing is just a sick joke." her fists open and close at her sides, glancing up at him only for a moment. "like some cruel punishment or something, and i know that's selfish of me to think, but maybe everyone is here for their own reason."
elif may have been the one to end their relationship for reasons that made sense... for reasons that in a way made everything feel ten times worse. having to be apart from someone you loved because of other people. there were times enzo had wished that they had broken up because of some other heart wrenching reason. some sort of betrayal or heartbreak that had everything to do with how wrong they were for each other. as horrible as that sounded, there were times enzo had wished that was the cause... maybe then he'd be able to let go and move on. realize that they weren't supposed to be together because they were completely wrong for each other. how was he supposed to come to that conclusion when there was a time that he felt as though she was the only one for him ? that nothing else made sense to him in this messed up and crazy world but they did. they made perfect sense in his head. it was things and thoughts like that that despite elif being the one that ended things, caused enzo to feel as though it was his own fault. he was naive enough to run away with ideas of forever and let himself get swept away in the hopelessness of it all. he couldn't help but blame himself because it was easier to beat himself up. feeling as though he could've done more... maybe he should've fought harder or loved her better or made her feel more safe ? honestly, anything and everything he could think of that he could've done more even if he couldn't have done anything more or less, it didn't stop the constant overthinking. the irrational thoughts and the blame he carried. maybe it was easier to blame himself because it was easier to control ? easier to understand than trying to understand the complicated nature of what actually did happen between them and how out of their hands it actually was.
as they got closer and closer to the photo booth, enzo caught himself glancing over at her. for no other reason other than wanting to take in the girl beside him. not knowing when the next time he'd actually be able to be next to or in front of her in the way he was right then again. what if the time before and this were the last times he'd get before everything magically went back to what it used to be and they never crossed paths again ? it was almost crazy to think that all it took was seeing her twice and he was already reliving the hurt and pain he felt when he thought he'd never see her again and he had to let it sink into his brain that she wasn't going to be a part of his life anymore. that he wouldn't see her practically every single day anymore. that she'd be nothing more than a memory or a vision in a dream to him. ⏤ looking back in front of himself for a moment when she spoke of home, enzo only let the quiet sink in for a second before speaking up again. the two of them doing their best to keep things from being too silent between the two of them for too long. not wanting the time to think about the weight of everything out of this illusion to come flooding in full force. desperately running from reality, even just for right now. ❛ doesn't mean you don't deserve to enjoy the perks of it. even if it sounds crazy because there's nothing normal or sane about any of this... i sound crazy. ❜ a soft laugh fell from his lips as he looked down at the ground, finding himself swaying closer to her, making it almost impossible not to brush their arms against each other every once in awhile. something that he had definitely done on purpose even if he didn't fully do it with intent, there was a part of him that wanted a reason to get closer and closer to her.
⏤ standing in front of the photo booth, enzo stopped to fully turn towards her. stopping to get her full attention, his eyes falling to hers as if he was trying to catch her gaze and lock eyes with her. ❛ i don't think you're selfish, ❜ the last thing from selfish, really. ❛ and maybe every once in awhile, it's okay to be a little selfish ? but elif, i don't think you're wrong or crazy and definitely not selfish in thinking whatever this is is some kind of sick joke that has some deeper meaning for all of us. there's nothing right about any of this. if i think about it too long, it scares the shit outta me... but i don't know ? i also think it's okay to let yourself breathe... even if it's just for a second or sounds crazy or selfish... even if it just means feeling free from all the shit back home for just a moment. ❜ enzo raised his shoulders up and down, eyes still on hers. ❛ what if we are all here for a reason and the only way we're able to figure it out is without all the noise from everything waiting for us outside of this place ? the only way to figure that out is to let yourself feel it and live it, right ? ❜ enzo had a million questions about this place and what it all meant. he went through a rollercoaster of emotions constantly about it. going from a moment of terror to relief... to feeling sick to his stomach to feeling a sense of freedom to feeling trapped... it was a never ending cycle of insanity. he couldn't began to have any answers or idea of what any of this meant for himself or anyone else. ❛ all i know is that no matter how sick of a reality this is, if any of this is even real or whatever my reason is for being here... all i got is that i'm here and i really wanna take some warped reality pictures with you right now. i mean, you only live once in a weird fucked dimension right ? better make the most of it. ❜ enzo smiled, trying to lighten the mood as he put his hand out towards her... a bad idea but... maybe it was better than deep diving in how sick all of this actually was... and how they were literally trapped without any control or knowledge of what was happening to them. ❛ what do you say ? you in ? ❜
event starter : open , @societystarters !
she had to admit, the event coordinators did a decent job with planning and decorating. for the moment, it put her mind at ease and wondered if it was working for others too. before doing anything else, jasmine wanted to make sure everything was going well, seeing if everyone was doing okay, and once that was finished, she chose to sit around with others, who were watching ferris bueller's day off. as she attempted to relax though, the back of her mind continued to have slight anxiety. to distract herself, she lightly nudged the person beside her. “have you seen this movie before?”
enzo truly was all over the place during this town party. that was the whole point, wasn't it ? jam in enough activities into one night and forget about everything going on around them. at the very least, try to forget about everything going on around them. it felt almost natural to enzo, wanting to distract himself from something else a lot greater. something that he probably shouldn't have been trying to put off but distracting himself felt a lot better than having to face anything head on. ⏤ feeling the small nudge, enzo looked over at the girl, giving her a nod before looking at the screen again. ❛ yeah, but i'm pretty sure i was like thirteen or something so half of this... i don't remember. why did i think this movie was a time traveling movie for all these years ? i must've not been paying attention when i first watched it. ❜ he commented, glancing back again to look at her. ❛ have you ? ❜

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"That depends. Do you have your own fries, or were you planning on taking some of mine?" Alix asked, protectively bringing his fries closer to his chest to guard them. It was joking more than anything though, his smile proving his words to be lighthearted more than serious. "And it's only a rumor when it's not true. I've caught a whiff of him more than once, he totally smells like cheese. You should be careful gettin' too close to him for the duet. You may be cute, but not cute enough to ignore a cheese smell."
❛ alix, for me, just one fry... please, i don't think my heart can take it if i know i'm not even worthy of your fries. forget mark, what about me ? ❜ the brunette joked, a smile crossing over his lips as he sat back in his chair. unable to help himself, he laughed⏤ it being obvious that he was trying to hold it back. trying to continue acting as serious as possible to go along with the sarcasm. but when alix confirmed the god awful cheese smell that enzo been trying to warn people about when it came to mark he couldn't help but laugh. ❛ good looking out, so kind, so generous. ❜ enzo smiled, brining a hand up to his chest. ❛ you're right, for all i know that smell is contagious and i pride myself on not smelling like cheese. ❜
deciding to continue semi-participating in the festivities, he sat down and watched others perform karaoke and joined in on the clapping, whenever needed. however, he didn't see himself wanting to go up and sing in front of others. he preferred staying right where he was, so when enzo asked such a thing, his head shook before nodding to the stage. “no, i'm not, but i'll watch you sing if you want. what song would you choose?”
❛ hey, understood⏤ not everyone is ready to take on a crowd and more than likely embarrass themselves in the process. i think it's kinda funny⏤ ❜ nothing better than getting a laugh from the crowd. then again, maybe it was because enzo lived his life putting on the performance of a lifetime, he didn't really mind getting up on a stage or making a fool of himself from time to time. no shame in things that felt relatively small to him. ❛ a little sweet caroline never hurt anyone and it really does get the people going. ❜ enzo answered as he looked over at the other. ❛ that's key to karaoke, my friend. do songs people know the words to. that way they'll sing along with you and boom, no ones paying attention to how good or bad you're doing. ❜ bringing a hand up, enzo patted the males shoulder before tilting his head in the direction he knew the ring toss to be. ❛ i won't put you through watching me roll around on stage. even though i do play a mean air - guitar. i'll spare you. we can go play a game of ring toss. ❜ he began, bringing his hand up from his shoulder to point in his direction. ❛ game rules, trick moves only ! ❜
it was odd how easy it was to fall into old rhythms with him, even if they were stretched thin over all the sharp edges they'd never talk about willingly, all the things they chose to ignore simmering under the surface, waiting for the chance to explode and bleed out. laughing even came easier than it should, but it was still there, spilling out in the spaces where silence might've otherwise choked her. that was part of what felt the strangest . . . how could she wear a smile so easily when all she wanted to do was scream ? and tell him she's sorry, that it was a mistake, and take it all back. the reality of it being that she can't do that because surely this isn't forever, and eventually they'll be back in west ham, and things will be no different than before. that thought alone was devastating, but she tried not to let it show, tried to keep her expression light as though her chest wasn't tightening at the sight of him. pretending, because pretending was safer than facing reality. except pretending never lasted long, not when the weight of what sat underneath was too much to cover up. heartbreak didn't disappear just because they buried it beneath a smile. she knew better than to think either of them were fooling each other, knew this was all a show, which almost made it worse. silly even, playing make believe with the one person who had seen every part of her.
" careful, " her smile grows as she shifts her weight onto one leg, arms folded across her chest. " you're starting to sound like you've had practice. " there's a longing in her eyes that betray how easily his compliment slips under her skin, how natural it feels hearing it from him even after everything, even as part of a silly little joke. " a shame, really. " the words escape her quieter than she meant for them to, but still loud enough to hang heavy in the air. it was too easy to read into, too easy to let herself feel the sting of what he probably hadn't meant to say out loud in the way she'd felt it. her eyes focus on him for a second before she's dropped them away, as if pretending she hadn't caught the weight behind it would make it vanish. " guess you'll just have to retire from the stalking business early, not the worst fate i suppose. " the tease was soft, an attempt at soothing the air between them, though the tone of her voice carried the faintest hint of something else, something wounded. fingers toy with the hem of her sleeve before she's glancing up at him again, offering him a smile, though it never really reaches her eyes. " i'm not meeting anyone, so you don't have to lurk in the shadows on my account. you can walk with me, i actually wouldn't mind the company. "
there was nothing easier and harder than being around elif. there had always been some sort of feeling of comfort around the girl. before they were ever together, once they were together and the worst part... even now. there was and probably always would be a sense of home when it came to elif, she was so ingrained into his veins. as much as he tried to bleed himself dry of her, he couldn't. unsure if that was because enzo was the type of person that had a hard time letting go of people, things... emotions of any sort or if that was just... being in love with someone. even when things end, ( something he was finding to be a inevitability in life, ) everything ended... but even then, maybe when you really cared and loved about someone... there would always be a part of you that loved them. maybe it wasn't about someone but about that someone being elif. she wasn't someone he could let himself let go of. although... enzo felt it'd be a lot easier if he could let go. if he could un - love her and completely move on. then maybe looking at her now, seeing the smile on her face... it wouldn't cause so much hope and hurt all that the same. the hope coming from feeling a sense of calm in the her smile but a hurt knowing that all of this, it was pretend. they were pretending... they were faking it to avoid what felt like the bigger hurt of the two hurts in front of them.
there was a slight relief when she had brushed over his words and kept things light. even if he didn't mean for his words to come out in the way they may have... he couldn't help but feel how real it felt... the thought that some things weren't meant to be, ( the two of them being no exception. ) even though he knew it was something he had tried to process and accept after their breakup, it didn't make it any easier to bring back to the forefront of his mind. it didn't make it hurt any less. more than likely going back to the fact that he couldn't let her go, even when he was trying. ⏤ a smile crossed over his features as he started to walk with her in the direction of the photo booth. guiltily satisfied with the fact that she wasn't meeting anyone over at the photo booth. more excuse to hang around her even if it was probably a safer bet to both go their separate ways and try their best to avoid each other like they had before even given the weird and strange situation they were in. that being said, enzo would be a liar if he said the thought hadn't crossed his mind that there was nothing stopping them from being around each other right now... in this world or dimension or whatever it was... would it be so bad to stick his head in the sand and pretend the world outside of this didn't exist ? that maybe things could be different, here ? a naive thought, honestly. ❛ is it bad to say that sometimes this whole, whatever this is⏤ ❜ he began, still walking with her as he motioned around them. talking about whatever was going on in this town. ❛ new ham, it kinda feels like a trippy vacation from home ? ❜
it wasn't really what you would expect from a post apocalyptic society . then again , merci began to wonder if people finally understood what she had been doing her entire life … just keeping it moving . the world didn't stop spinning on it's axis because shit wasn't going your way , on the contrary , it started spinning faster and you either span off or went with it . she isn't really invested in the karaoke , the residents of new ham as insignificant as they were before … a piece of gum in her mouth that she prods with the tip of her tongue to the side of her cheek . " i'd rather die , " with finality as she leans in , as if the prospect of singing really would kill her ( and it might have ) . merci might have been up for it at one time in her life but she was far too cool for it now , so aloof and mysterious in some ways … more of an idea than a real person because she wouldn't let anyone really see her … or rather , realise what she wasn't . " it's nice that they're trying to distract us , though . less boring . "
❛ guess i can let it slide. too much of a sucker for the dramatics. ❜ enzo joked, laughing shortly after. death from karaoke, a true dramatic masterpiece. really, he knew merci wouldn't entertain the idea of karaoke. it wasn't exactly her style or it didn't seem to be. why merci did or didn't do the things she did, enzo liked to think he knew her well enough to know the inner feelings and thoughts that were merci torres' but the truth was, he probably didn't because she didn't allow it. something he did know, was merci didn't like people to know anything about her unless she herself made it known and she made it difficult for people to figure her out. even someone like enzo who took the extra time to get to know people deeper than what was on the surface. ( it was something they could in some ways relate on. ) although, enzo wasn't an open book and he only showed the parts of him that he wanted. it was much easier for things to either slip through the cracks or for him to be more open about certain things. merci seemed a lot more like fort knox when it came to almost everything. ❛ how long will the distraction last ? who knows but live in the moment and all that, right ? ❜ shrugging his shoulders, he smiled before leaning forward slightly like she had before. ❛ so if you're not gonna sing some karaoke with me what're we gonna do ? share a hot dog by the water ? see who has the best arm in a game of ring toss ? ❜ the male teased, smile still on his face.
anastasia raised an eyebrow when she heard enzo say that. there was so much to be explored. so much to still be figured out and ana felt like they had barely even scratched the surface with what they could do. there was so much left and waiting to be done. "you think it's already starting and why is that ? are you going to be the one to cause chaos and be a daredevil tonight or what ? because if so... maybe i should alert the other mayors." sarcasm echoed from her tone. trying to have any sort of fun when they had no clue what would be awaiting next for any of them was such a scary thing. and she had to be the one that people could go to. to look after everything and everyone as best as she could. it was a lot of a responsibility to have. one that she never thought she'd need to have. this surely isn't something you prepare for if you don't think it's somethng you ever would've needed to do. "you had to tackle someone for the last chocolate chip cookie ? my gosh. i didn't even get to the chocolate chip cookies yet and you're the one that's been stealing them all ? at least we know who it is." she'd soon laugh with a shrug of her shoulders. "oh, i'm sure the crowd will get to it soon or i'll just let them in on it."
❛ pretty sure we're all gonna start fighting each other to the death if we can't even lock down a safe chocolate cookie hand out situation. ❜ his words laced with sarcasm as he shrugged his shoulders up and down. a laugh shortly falling from his lips. was there some truth to his words ? there could be, obviously not when it came to chocolate chip cookies but as fun and light as they could make everything with a party... there was no doubt that things would probably hit the fan at some point. put a bunch of people together that had no experience running a whole town full of people that were all young and semi if not fully impulsive... you were bound to have something hit the fan at some point. what would that be and how far would the splatter go... that in itself was a mystery. it wasn't that he didn't have hope in his pairs but... how were they supposed to do this ? it was only so long that everyone could fake the smiles on their faces and play house or play party... at some point... reality would definitely shake things up. ❛ me ? start shit ? i'm an angel, ana. i'd never ! ❜ another laugh escaped as he shook his head. ❛ but let's just say there's a food fight in an hour or two. would said food fight starter get arrested, by chance ? ❜ he teased, tilting his head to the side a little and narrowing his eyes in the girls direction.

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"oh, no. of course i've done karaoke before. i'm not someone who is a downer at parties. even if half of the time i'd rather be doing other important things than this." there was some truth to that. majority of her time wasn't spent partying. since it seemed like something the rest of the town was going to be doing ? she felt as though she had to participate in it just a little. "excuse me, what?" enzo had immediately caught her off guard and her eyes widened at his sudden decision to pull the two of them up there. "okay.. i think you're sadly mistaken. i'm not here to be singing. i didn't even know you liked to do karaoke.. guess you learn something new everyday." there was a slight chance she was being sarcastic. this could either be really fun or they were both about to embarrass themselves up there. "now you're making me nervous and expect me to pick the song ?! the pressure you're putting on me right now, enzo." she'd joke and give him a playful nudge with her elbow. "i'll do this... just this once. but if there's karaoke at any other event we have.. don't get used to it."
❛ i'm here for a good time, camille not a long time. if we're ever gonna have a future together, you gotta start writing this stuff down about me. ❜ teasing the girl, he let a laugh fall from his lips as he raised his hands up and placed them on her shoulders. ❛ hayes, ❜ enzo began, purposely using her last name being that it was a joke between the two. ❛ we gotta lock in, we're about to put on a performance of a lifetime. ❜ were they ? hell yeah, he'd give it his all even if that meant singing poorly at the top of his lungs but that was all part of the fun. karaoke wasn't about being good, it was about laughing and having fun. could he actually lock in and sound decent, probably but again, it was karaoke, they were trying to have fun. lighten the mood in a dark and shitty situation. ( forget that they were stuck in some kind of hellscape. ) ❛ it's now or never, what's the first song that pops in your head ? life or death⏤ ❜ joking around, a smile pulled at the corners of his lips. his hands fell from her shoulders and he dropped them down by his side. ❛ i got it ! ❜ enzo said, clapping his hands together. ❛ bohemian rhapsody, everyone knows it. a true crowd pleaser ! ❜
was this ever really going to get any easier ? it was a thought she'd been turning over since the other night, but there was once a time when she craved his presence and now all it did was remind her of the past, and a future they'd lost. couldn't make up her mind between wanting to seek him out or staying as far as possible. such a funny feeling to be so confused in the face of someone still holding her heart outside of her body even now. ⏤ it was ridiculous, truly, how fast her body betrayed her. a quiet unsteady breath slips past her lips, quiet enough she prayed he hadn't caught it, but the touch was already searing itself into her skin, a brand she couldn't scrub off even when he pulled back as quickly as he'd reached for her. " i've had worse hellos. " she let the words fall light and playful as if it was any other encounter instead of the one she'd spent forever dreading. truthfully, she'd always been too good at pretending things were fine when they weren't, but with him it was a thinner mask, one that felt like it could slip at any second. so she held his gaze for a little too long, willing her smile to stay steady, even as the sight of his face made her chest tighten in a way she couldn't quite disguise. " oh, wow, a stalker shrine ? " her brows raise slightly, lips twitching into a smirk as she pretends to give it some thought. " do i at least get candles and creepy polaroids or is that too advanced for a beginner stalker ? " to play into the joke and keep from having to face reality, she shifted her weight just enough to strike a mock pose, chin tilted and smile exaggerated. for half a second it almost looked real, something she might have once done for him without irony before the laugh tumbled out and broke the moment apart. it was easier to laugh, to let the joke carry her, than to let him see how close they were to slipping. " i was on my way to the photobooth, would've saved you the trouble of building your shrine from scratch. "
it was definitely odd feeling as though they were talking and joking around with each other like everything was perfectly normal between the two of them. but it was also in some ways a security blanket. even if that blanket was full of holes... something that enzo seemed to veer towards the majority of the time. when things came across that he couldn't handle face on, he'd more than likely smile through it. laugh or crack a few jokes, pretending as though, he was perfectly fine. like he wasn't currently trying to hold the pieces of himself together that were falling apart at the seams. it used to be elif that enzo could let go some of those walls down around. a past where she was one of the only people he'd let in through the facades and barriers he put up by flashing a smile. she was someone he could let go with, someone that he could breathe with... now, the smile crossed his features and the wall rebuilt itself around him. something that felt unnatural when around the girl. it almost feeling pathetic to try to rebuild it when she knew him as well as she had. ( a detail he tried to push down as far as humanly possible. ) the fact that she did know a part of him most didn't. it almost feeling easier to pretend their past wasn't still burning in his brain, a constant memory on repeat.
❛ you know what ? for you, i'll make sure it's a creepy as possible. ❜ enzo teased back, a hand coming up to his chest as she began to pose. ❛ wow, beautiful⏤ ❜ smiling, enzo brought his hands up, acting as if he was holding a fake camera and pretending to snap a photo before dropping his hands back down. a small, almost gentle laugh falling from his lips afterwards. something felt so normal and easy about joking around with her, about laughing with her but something else felt incredibly heart wrenching about how this wasn't normal anymore... how it wasn't easy anymore. how they were the same people, yet everything was so different. a layer of hurt underlying every smile, joke and laugh that fell from their lips. ❛ you're right, that would've been much more officiant... man, maybe i'm just not cut out for this stalker lifestyle. ❜ enzo let out a dramatic sigh, continuing to go along with their little back and forth. ❛ guess somethings are just not meant to be. ❜ he immediately regretted his words before playing it off with a laugh and a head shake , a slight clear of his throat following shortly after as he moved onto the next thing. ❛ care if you walk with you in that direction ? i mean, if you're meeting someone over there i can totally get lost and continue stalking from the shadows but i'm headed in the direction anyways, little company won't hurt. ❜