In the beginning I see the end

After sitting there spiraling, I was told it was most likely a stitch basically like a stitch in your side, but it can happen around your lungs too, which can happen if you’re dehydrated. A piece of my lung was stuck to another piece of it like a pinch. So to speak so Of course, because my brain loves to catastrophize, I convinced myself it had to be something much worse. Cancer? Some random medical emergency? Who tf knows. The pain would disappear, then come back sharper, which definitely wasn’t helping my anxiety. To make things even more fun, I’m on my period, so I’m already running hot, not feeling the best at all and Georgia has decided 90° with humidity and random rain is the ideal weather. 😫 Anyway… I’m okay. I got home, I chugged a few glasses of water, slowed down, took care of myself, and the pain eventually settled and went away. Thank god! I need to be more mindful about taking care of myself. ADHD makes it really really easy for me to get completely absorbed in whatever has my attention at the moment, and before I know it, I’ve unintentionally forgotten to do something as basic as drink enough water. Then with my period and this Georgia heat on top of everything else, it’s a good reminder that I need to check in with myself a little more often. You’d think I’d have learned this lesson by now… but apparently not. 😭

This isn’t even the first time I’ve done this to myself. The last time was a few years ago when I was living up north, and honestly, that whole situation was tied to a job I’d rather not even get into. But I just remembered another time a year or so before that. I was so excited to spend the day with a friend that I completely forgot to drink water. We went to a thrift store, picked up an Xbox controller so we could play Halo later, and on the way back we almost got T-boned in his parents’ neighborhood. We made it to his parents’ house, I met them for the first time, and within minutes I was standing on their front porch seeing spots. And so nauseous I was scared I was going to throw up. I ended up having to lie down on their porch because I genuinely thought I was going to pass out. Looking back, it makes perfect sense. It was hot outside, I was dehydrated, I was on my period, I was nervous asf and I’d barely taken care of myself all day because I’d been so wrapped up in how excited I was to spend time with him. At the time, though, I was absolutely mortified. I remember thinking I’d completely ruined my first impression and feeling so embarrassed that I just wanted to disappear / not exist at the time. Thinking I fucked it up and could only imagine what he thought about me let alone what his parents thought. Looking back now, they may not have thought anything of it at all that was probably just my anxiety filling in the blanks. I never actually saw his family again or spent much time with him other than a handful of times after that. I haven’t seen him in a few years and I miss him like crazy. But anyway!!!!