big life tips dont be neurodivergent dont be poor dont get in any sort of situation and dont let yourself need or crave

not getting good reports back on your progress with this guys

today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

u can just do whatever at any age all of the time nobody cares except teenagers

teenager will be like ur 40 with a hobby ? 💀 that’s sad <- nobody else thinks this way though they are just going through some stuff

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

the ashtrays in airplane bathrooms are a fascinating harm reduction metaphor. yes it's illegal as hell to smoke in there. yes there's a smoke detector that will snitch on you the second you light up. so why is there an ashtray? because if there weren't, your single momentary dumbass crime could kill 300 people. it is fucking vital that if someone does have a lit cigarette on a plane, they have a place to safely put it out.

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

ok. enough suffering now. i am seeking out delight

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

god everything sucks. i'm gonna kill [remembers suicidal thoughts are bad for me][remembers whose fault it all really is] my dad

"No one wants to work anymore." Damn right brother. If I could sit in a beautiful field for 40 hours every week of my singular precious life I would