there's no time to discriminate

“It…it wasn’t just me, though. I, like…yeah, I was the one who finished ‘em off, but I couldn’t have done it without support from…from literally thousands of people, people who…who were there with me when it happened and people who’d paved the way to make this all possible. I don’t…I don’t know if it was really about bravery or just being in the right place at the right time. I’ve been in the right place at the right time a lot.”

Aria blinks quietly in confusion - the distraction was a bit jarring and sudden, but she might as well go along with it. She’s also not really sure if it’s a distraction or if Angelo just wants to know what she’s been up to.

“Uh…not a lot, really. I’ve just, uh…I’ve just been taking a few days to relax. The past month has been, uh…it’s been really rough, and I feel like I’ve kinda been in over my head, so…I’ve just been writing poetry and playing Turf all day, stuff like that. Trying…trying to get a sense of normalcy, I guess. I haven’t had that in a while.”

“Support is important; you’re right - Anju usually says that a society is compared from 10% leaders and 90% followers; he’s not totally wrong about that.” 

“I sincerely believe that it is a matter of true bravery, though - you do not challenge the authority of the Elders without having an immense amount of courage. Not after everything we know they could do.”

Angelo’s level of comfort is lowered, goodness as soon as everyone goes home, he’s gonna take a long shower to unwind and possibly cuddle a boyfriend, maybe two. But now, he has to go and survive this simple conversation.

“Fair point. There uh…there really aren’t a whole lot of people in the Valley or Inkopolis who actually could stand a chance against me, young or not.” She’s gonna have to double-check to make sure she got some of that ravioli and pizza - all of it sounds pretty good.

“Hey, just…just delivering it was pretty important, too. I mean, I wouldn’t have been able to use a Killer Wail if I didn’t have a Killer Wail, right? If I’ve destroyed more, it’s by standing on the shoulders of giants.” That’s not exactly how that quote goes. “I might have found some other way, but…I still really, really appreciate the help.”

Aria just laughs quietly - oh, she can relate. “I’m probably not gonna eat most of this in a single sitting, but I’m gonna eat a lot of it.” And there was no way she was gonna tell her dentist about it, either - it had been nearly a year since the deep-fried chocolate incident and she still hadn’t said even a word about it.

“Oh please, if anyone should have gratitude, it’s us. You have freed our people from...a massive burden. Trust me, I will not have enough of one life to pay you back after what you’ve done. Freeing our people from the Elders was a massive endeavor; and you had the bravery to do so while we didn’t.” 

“We had tons of reasons to, of course. But, we were most likely too complacent to actually do something.”

Angelo looked at Best Niece - he couldn’t deny that he found that conversation a little heavy. He didn’t like the mention of the Elders; not after what they’ve done to his boyfriend slash best friend forever.

So, time to use a DISTRACTION to get something a lot more relaxing to talk about

“Hey Aria, what have you been up to lately?”

“Aw, but I like battle royales.” I don’t think Angelo is talking about playing Fortnite, Aria. “Like…yeah, not technically. I almost am, though, which is, uh…which is kinda weird to think about.”

She’s a little bit surprised to see someone in full medical attire - maybe they’d come here on really short notice and didn’t have time to get more casual clothing? Regardless, Aria was glad to meet any friend of Angelo’s - she trusts him a lot.

“Nice to meet you too, Cillian.” Aria shakes his hand, smiling. “I think…I think you were the one to hand me that Killer Wail, right? If you were, then, uh…thank you. I wouldn’t have been able to actually destroy the Elders without you.”

“I think there are better solutions to pick who gets the last triple cheese ravioli and stuffed crust veggie delight pizza than ultra violence - we’re no longer young men in our prime! We couldn’t stand a chance against you - let alone a battle royale”

It’s hard to tell if Cillian is smiling or not; the doctor’s mask he usually wore but he looked pretty pleased.

“Do not exagerate my involvement in this; I was merely the delivery guy. You were the hand...or rather, the voice that had it pumping - you’re the one that blew them up.” 

“Even if I had failed my very special mission, I am more than sure you’d have found a way to destroy their very essence.”

The labcoat Octoling looked around, and picked some dessert boxes.

“I just, uh…I really can’t see myself having enough energy for more than one partner at once, and I think I’d get way too jealous, too. But you’re really, really valid too. I really respect anyone who does the whole poly thing.”

“Well, I’m glad it’s entertaining.” She stares at the door - if they’re here for the same reason as her, they must want food. It’s a good thing there’s so many leftovers that she can’t possibly take all of it…there’s no competition for leftovers going on here. “Yeah, sure. I, uh…I hope I didn’t take all of, like…all of any particular dishes that they might want. That’d be, uh…a little bit unfortunate.” 

“I’m sure we can find a solution if there is conflict; we’re all civilized here. No battle royale to know who can have the last slice of triple crustacean spinach lasagna; we manage that like adults. Even though you’re not technically one yet.”

Angelo wasted no time in answering the door, quickly coming back with a tall, yellow-tentacled Octoling, wearing a medical facemask and a long labcoat. While most young adult Octoling were still in shape, the newcomer carried an unusual object - a walking cane.

The host was all too eager to make the presentations, as usual.

“So Aria, I think I briefly mentioned him to you, but this is Cillian Hamelin, a friend of mine. Cillian’s a dentist, he works in a clinic in Inkopolis. And Cyl, this is Aria. She’s a good turf battler, former army sniper and most important, she’s Agent 8.”

Cillian extended his hand for a good handshake.

“It’s pretty lucky, apparently! I’m glad you got the chance to say yes to both.” She’s not poly herself, but she obviously supports all of her poly friends.

“If you were a bit more subtle with it, I might never have noticed. Well, uh…not never, but it probably would have taken me longer than, uh…” She glances at the clock. “Like, five minutes. I, uh…I actually did know about Baptiste’s feelings a while back. It was kinda, uh…kinda the same situation, where he was trying to lie through that kind of, uh…blatant denial. I picked up on it ‘cause that’s the same way I act when I have a crush.”

“They’re both really nice, and…and I am really, really happy for the three of you. I, uh…I really do wonder how long you’re gonna be able to keep it secret, though.”

“I was raised in a polyamorous household, so while I completely understand people wanting to be in closed relationships, it was never something I needed.  Monoamorous couples are absolutely valid, just not my jam.”

“I think we’re fine with living in rumors and speculation; it entertains us more than anything. We have few shared friends, aside from you and...”

The doorbell rings; surprising Angelo in the middle of his sentence; he didn’t expect that special someone to show up there this quick!

“Well I’ll be damned - was just thinking about him, and there he is. Can you wait here a moment, I want to introduce you to an old friend of mine - they’re here for the same reason as you, obviously.”

Aria just blinks in surprise. That was…a lot more denial than she expected to hear from Baptiste. She wonders if he even thought that was going to work - and immediately realizes he knew it wasn’t going to. Aria has absolutely no idea what Baptiste means by finding his pants, and she’s mildly concerned.

“Oh, really?” Aria stares at where Baptiste and Perry were, before they hid. “I’m really happy for you three. I think…I think you all deserve to be happy with each other. I, uh…I’m not entirely sure how I figured it out so quickly, honestly. Like…I really am not that perceptive, usually. It was just, uh…it was just pure gaydar. Baptiste’s…attempts to act natural didn’t help either. How, uh…how long have y’all been together? It must be pretty recent, right?” 

“Last weekend, to be exact. I got hit by not one, but two amazing love declarations friday night, and I couldn’t exactly say no to either of them. And they say Friday the 13th is unlucky. Pew, liars.”

Chuckles. 

“I think you figured that out quickly because...even though we said we wouldn’t mention it yet, we all fucking suck at being subtle. They might not admit it to your face yet, but these feelings have been there for a long while, just hiding beind a lot of denial.”

Angelo’s reply is almost smooth enough to distract Aria away from the truth of the situation - almost. And then Baptiste’s response basically confirms what she’d been thinking. It reminds her a lot of his response to being accused of having a crush, a lot of her own responses when she’s trying to deny anything romantic is going on.

She certainly didn’t notice Perry wearing his wedding band - that was definitely a change. Top-notch couple activity, huh? She just looks around at them all, looking a bit like a confused bird again. It’s the rapid and unpredictable head movements. 

“…that’s, uh…that’s what I meant by gaydar. Y’all are totally together, aren’t you? Like, y’know…romantically. I’m not the most perceptive person, but…” She gestures at Perry’s wedding band and state of dress, then Baptiste’s general demeanor that made it beyond clear that he was hiding something. “I can usually tell when people are gay for each other.”

“What no, absolutely not. I’m gay for PUTTING BOXES IN BOXES! That’s totally my romantic attraction-  putting boxes in boxes...”

Okay, this was the DUMBEST DISTRACTION ever, Baptiste. Nobody is gonna fall for that, and he knows it, so he’s just gonna...retreat. 

“Well alright, nobody is buying that excuse. If you’re looking for me, I’m gonna be elsewhere. Like, if you can find my pants, you can find me.”

Meanwhile, Perry is just gonna give the universe’s biggest eyeroll at Baptiste’s pathetic attempt, and just heads for the bedroom with his cup of coffee. Not awake enough to deal with this, apparently.

“...they’re not gonna answer, but I am, apparently. Yes, we’re together - I don’t really think they were ready to announce it, but it sure is a thing that happened. I don’t think we could have hidden that forever.” Angelo slowly replied

“Thanks, Baptiste!” Aria grins - she didn’t notice something as subtle as a wink. “It, uh…it should make all of this so much easier to carry. And I don’t want anyone staring at me ‘cause I’m carrying a bunch of boxes of food home.” Mostly because she doesn’t want anyone stealing her food.

“Aw, I don’t think he’s that irritating. Or, uh…he’s not irritating me, anyways.” She idly wonders if that would still be the case if she’d known him for fifteen years instead of about a month. “So…I wanna stick to the big table and the buffet, probably…” Octarians were omnivorous, sure, but most of their octopus ancestors were carnivorous - so the average Octarian eats a lot of shellfish and other seafood. 

She just stares at Perry as he enters the room, then at Baptiste, then at Angelo, then at Perry, then at Angelo again, then at Baptiste, and then her neck hurts and she stops looking around like a confused bird. Give her a second to process this and figure out exactly what she is thinking.

“…I’m not really sure what I’m thinking, but I know this has broken the scale on my gaydar.”

“Well, I don’t think any of us was trying to hide that we’re all romantically inclined towards men in general, so your gaydar is working as it should, at least.” Angelo smoothly replied.

“OH MAN, LOOK AT ALL THESE BOXES I NEED TO PUT IN A SLIGHTLY BIGGER BOX, MAN, THIS IS TETRIS-LEVEL OF CONFUSING”

“Baptiste...”

"BOXES AND BOXES AND BOXES AND BOXES”

He’s absolutely not trying to switch the conversation away at all.

“Baptiste please, stop making this extremely awkward and just fill the boxes in silence.”

“Can you both just shut the fuck up already and stop yelling? Perry just death-glared. “Might not be irritating you, Aria, but he sure knows how to do it to me.”

Baptiste glared right back - oh, Stoneheart Bellwether is gonna pay for his cranky-ass rating.

“So Aria, I’m sure you didn’t notice, but Perry is wearing his wedding band right now, isn’t that awesome”

“Caritas, if you don’t knock it off, the authorities will never find your body”

“You’re not kidding when you say you’ve got everything. That’s, like…that’s all I’d ever need to eat for the rest of my life and I’d be set.” Besides the salads, Angelo had basically just listed all of her favorite types of food. 

Aria just giggles - the two of them are bickering like an old married couple. Come to think of it, that last thing Baptiste said does strike her as a bit flirty… 

“I’ll gladly have some of, like…pretty much everything.” She starts with the kitchen, collecting box after box of appetizers and snacks. “I’ll make sure I try the aubergines and shrimp, but I definitely wanna have, like…a bit of everything else, too. I’m sure it’s all good.” Carrying a distressing amount of boxes, Aria carefully makes her way to the dining room, and true to her word grabs an even more distressing amount of leftover full-course meals. “I think this should probably be enough, but…I’m not sure where to start. There’s a lot.”

“I think it’s better if you take a little of everything! Baptiste, can you pack that in a decent amount of boxes, so that Aria can carry it around when she goes?”

Cue Baptiste doing exactly that....and, was that a filrty wink Aria spied? It probably was.

“See, he’s not gonna kill me. I’m too useful around the house.”

Long sigh from Angelo, while Baptiste smugly smiles, repackaging things so that Aria could actually bring them home without having to rent a moving van.

“Don’t test your luck, Caritas, I absolutely CAN and WILL kill you if you don’t stop your bullshittery.”

More obnoxious :D from Baptiste.

“Aria, I’m so sorry if he’s irritating - fifteen years of friendship and he still loves to annoy me at every opportunity.”

“It’s divided like that - big table is meat; poultry, seafood, fish. Small tables are vegetarian and vegan options. Desserts are on the buffets, and there are others in the freezer downstairs...

Suddenly, a door opens, and another taller Octoling enters the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee maker.

“Goodness, do you two need to argue this loud? Can barely sleep”

Perry has entered the chat. In boxers only.

Oh dear, this is gonna be a very interesting conversation. 

“...it’s not what you think Aria.”

Baptiste’s mental recovery was going fine, but damn Angelo didn’t like leaving him alone. That was probably him being overprotective, he supposed; a trait he gained after years of watching over vulnerable kids at Camp Triggerfish. 

His acolyte barely rose his head from his portable video game console to utter a bored “Yeah, I’m a big boy. Plus, Junction Jan’s delivers.” before returning to his generic 16-bit platformer. 

“Oh come on, I’m leaving for the day, and that’s all you gotta tell me? That you’ll be fine and just order a Sea Monster Flatbread if you’re hungry? Y’know, I can cancel my plans and stay with you, if you’re that lethargic.”

“You’re not gonna do it and we both know it. If you decide to stick around here, I’m gonna be so annoyed with you commenting my gaming, or the tv shows I watch, or really, anything, that I’ll kick you out by 5PM, and with nowhere to go, you’re still gonna go to the party you’ve been working on for *months*, you friggin meddler.”

Wow Baptiste. You managed to completely throw Angelo out of the loop.

“...Cillian’s not wrong when he says we argue like a old bickering couple, is he?”