En garde, Toreador!

we need more vampires who are just pathetic. just absolute losers

"haha you look kinda like a vampire" thanks it's the vampirism

Vampires be like

Vampire setting where it eventually becomes clear that every single vampire is bitter exes with every other vampire

Nice fangs sorry you're not brave enough to bite me

Frat boy vampire draining someone while his bros chant “CHUG CHUG CHUG” in the background

Mutuals this could be us

Sick of seeing selfish posts about exposing your neck and unfastening your shirt "to attract vampires". Wearing an unbuttoned collar is depriving young vampires of essential development and may render them entirely unable to rip bodices in the wild.

what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood

Pretty sure that would mean the fellas drink tree sap or something. Imagine running from a vampire thru the woods and passing her husband who's biting a tree real hard

Maple syrup vampire husband

vampire stake to the heart wont work if your tits are big enough

Yeah, you just catch it

Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit.

Then I just use a spear instead.

you are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas and for what. why would you do that to the ecosystem