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Love evades me

Yet I am happy at the present moment

Loneliness is a creeping state of mind that pounces when you allow it

#lonelynights #love #my life #excerpt from a book i'll never write #strength #passion

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I just gave the man i used to 💘 the "i think you're dead or ghosting me" speech over his voicemail. I gave him the best news of my year and he hasn't responded....

#david #lovehurts #loveactually #covid19 #death #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilledwords #waitforit #ifeelold

I love him...but i think love comes in all forms...pastor asked what he could pray for me today...i asked for the ability to help others. Bc i feel blessed...

And I still love the one who slowly left my life bc covid.

How can I get him back?

#lover #nowplaying #mylife

No heat in my house...again...day 3...but I have pretty eyes...

Says the sexy photographers...

While the light behind me creates a fantastic "interesting effect"

#photography #sexy model #mylife #journey #oldfriends #forgottenmemories

No heat

No dryer

Waiting on a covid test

Heart's on fire

.

Drinking at 8 am

Wrapping presents within range

Praying for love peace and health

Hoping for a change

#my life #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writers on tumblr #don't give up #lovequotes #2020 #change #peace #health #davidandersen #christmas

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I want to remember the love I felt when I felt it...all these years and all those loves...

.

#love quotes #hopeful #timetolletgo #newbeginnings #excerpt from a book i'll never write

When my dog barks too loud...and I am agitated with the noise...I still call his name in a reprimanding way....

.

#name calling #david #my life #notfriendsanymore #doesnttext #doesntanswerhisphone #waitingoncovidtest

After 3 years I am finally getting rid of the shoes I would get married in....think baseball field and picnic food.

These were the only thing I had bought after being engaged for 2 years.

#finally #love #baseball #weddingday #my life #memories #cleanse #someoneelsecanusethem

"You are like the dad...but you're a girl"

-5 year old told me at dinner

#love #excerpt from a book i'll never write #my life #dad #hope #neverheardthatbefore #discipline #friends #family #alternativefamily

My loneliness swells only at night. Anniversary memories and specific foods remind me of what I once had.

I hold my dog tighter than ever...and let him take over the bed

And my attention

#dogs #excerpt from a book i'll never write #my life #writers on tumblr #memories #foods #squash #homemade #anniversary #love

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Muscular calves

Need for attention

Dimples

Bikes

Common interests

Possible move?

So many ssshhhhhhhhhhhhings

Possible flirts

#love #flirtationship #flirtatious #local #beer #excerpt from a book i'll never write #adventures #vests #helmet #teas #garden #bees

The abyss

There is this moment when you are drunk or high enough you transcend your body and present feelings...and you know and feel and experience the future...the future you desire...

.

#letithappen

#transition #trans #love #lovers #i love you #how i feel #i feel sick #present #higherperspective

I just dreamt of a slow dance and a slow kiss...after getting a bronco ride from a country gathering or perhaps farm work...there were a lot of dials and instruments on the dash...like in a plane.

He took me to his home where the kiss and dance was interrupted by a woman who was cool with it...and said it looked like it was a date.

As he begins cooking dinner at least 6 people show up out of the rooms of this small home. Seems communal.

I wonder how I got home.

#realdream #slowdance #slowkiss #whatiwanttoremember #bronco #openrelationship #communal living #lotsgoingon

To david

I love you

I love everything about you

Except for you telling my co workers you have a girlfriend.

You will never leave her...despite your stories to me...february is the month you would "break the news"

My mom reminds me

I cry for you. I cry over you. I need you. And i know you will never come.

#love #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writers on tumblr #don't give up #hopeful #can't wait #friends #pain #touch your heart #heartbroken #heartbreak

40 years

It's taken 40 years to realize I am searching for intimacy not necessarily always great sex.

And recently I discovered change is in the air....the first feeling being of discomfort...physical discomfort...I started scratching my neck and accepting the awkwardness of letting a new business venture in that involves a lot of my dreams in sustainable agriculture.

And I wiggled out of a hug with a handsome man. And we acted like high schoolers sharing stories and sitting way too close to each other on the couch.

#newlookonlife #newlove #writers on tumblr #birthday #patience #intimacy #needs #loveinterests #livefortoday #wishful thinking #cbdproducts

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Not even worth a descriptive blog post

My ex-fiance never responded to texts. Come to find out he got married and moved to Canada.

#notevenworried #betterthingsareinmyfuture #love #lovelost #fiancé #brazilian #canadian #hesgoingttobecold #tookmeforever

My g ma just told me to dry up my little tears and enjoy my little doggie...

After I learned my ex-fiance just marries four months ago

But I gave big tears, big emotions, big feelings and I will always love chuck in some fashion.

I hope he is healthy and happy and isn't just giving her a greencard

#lover #love quotes #i love you #past #exfiance #greencard #vodka #memories #lostlove

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