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Hello, I work for a large moderately evil corporation and for at least five years now I have to sign a yearly thing to say I will never ever have one of these devices in the same room as me while I work.
My large moderately evil employer takes it for granted that these things are spying on me at all times, and you should too.
Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White “but Californian. And an old man.” in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.
“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”
“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”
Y'all, it is so much funnier to think that Lilith would be much more supportive of Lucifer's relationship with Alastor and try her best to be his wingwoman then be antagonistic to their relationship.
She's trying her best to be supportive but poor Lucifer hasn't dated since Eden, he's trying his best
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Tucker: I know. When they said we were getting a field trip in Gotham, I thought it would be a lot more exciting. Especially when they listed Wayne Enterprises as one of the tours.
Danny: Axion Labs had a better tour. All we've seen are hallways and closed doors
Sam: Don't forget the Wayne water fountain that was part of the original town hall of Gotham, before it burned to the ground and the fountain was bought out by the Waynes.
Danny: It was a fascinating twelve-minute wait for the small gush of water.
Tucker: Whats the tour guy saying now?
Danny: Don't know. Don't care.
Sam: Ugh, we should play a game. Make the time move faster.
Tucker: Sure, want to play Would You Rather?
Danny: We played that on the bus. How about Have You Ever?
Sam: We don't have anything to drink. Let's do Hot Seat.
Danny: Sure.
Tucker: Go head
Sam: Right, Danny, you're first. If you could sleep with any of the heroes in Gotham who would-
Danny: Red Hood.
Tucker: Good taste. Bouncing off of what Sam said, if you could sleep with any of the Waynes who-
Danny: Jason Todd.
Sam: You seem overly eager to answer these questions.
Danny: Is that a problem?
Jason: No I find it interesting
Danny letting out the highest pitch scream a man of 25 has ever made: !!!!!!
Jason: impressive set of pipes.
Sam whispering to Tucker: Is it just me, or does Danny have a shot?
Tucker whispering back: I think he does. They were about Gotham. Anything can happen here.
When Danny left the vigilante life to become a paramedic in Gotham he didn't think he'd ever step back into that scene. Much less in this way, because now Danny has Robin riding along with him in the ambulance every shift he's on.
He didn't think Robin would even remember him after he had helped the kid take care of a hurt and sick kitten at the end of his shift. How wrong he was though because the next night Robin was suddenly in the ambulance saying that he would be shadowing Danny from this point forward. Danny's coworkers were also no help in getting the kid to not do this.
Robin called this an intern opportunity to learn more about medicine and how to treat people. Danny called it a HIPPA violation. What he thought doesn't seem to matter though as everyone is always just excited to talk to the kid. He ultimately decides to just let it go and be the unwilling mentor to the young vigilante.
It really isn't until Danny is being cornered after one of his shifts by Batman demanding to know what he's doing to Robin that he wished he had fought harder to convince Robin to not ride along.
There's no way Damian would show up to such a thing unprepared so imagine:
Danny's already running through the list of excuses reasons why he can't have Robin shadowing him. He's expecting some push back but he knows Robin will give up in the end. Robin does not in fact give up.
What actually happens is that Robin keeps throwing fully valid paperwork at each of his objections and refuting them like they're nothing. HIPAA violation? Robin pulls out a certificate that's several levels higher than what would be required for an actual intern. No medical training? Robin pulls out his recently earned credentials on different healing techniques (like CPR and EMT training and idk what else). He has more qualifications than people Danny has worked with before. Danny questions the validity, Robin has him check on the official (national? Gotham?) websites and he has in fact taken the trainings/tests required. There's even a log and videos so he couldn't have just hacked his way into the system.
Danny starts grasping at straws. He brings up child labor laws, Robin shows him a signed permission from Batman with all the requirements filled out perfectly. Danny says he's not comfortable with a minor seeing the level of gore they encounter in Gotham. Robin shows him a few pictures of the more gruesome cases he has participated in during his tenure. Danny talks about disturbed bedtimes and not wanting Robin's grades to drop, Robin shows him his full academic history (name redacted, of course) and his current schedule as a vigilante. Everything's official. Batman's signature is everywhere.
In a last ditch effort, Danny says there's no budget to pay Robin, Robin says that's why it's an unpaid internship and refuses to relent. By the time Danny's officially run out of excuses, Robin's looking at him like he's ready to learn from Danny specifically. His binder's still half full. Danny sighs. He knows when he's been beaten. (Of course he refuses to acknowledge that the actual last blow was when Robin offhandedly mentions his need to know everything he can on medical procedures while mobile just in case anyone in his family ever needs them while working on their more dangerous cases. Danny understands the need to protect family as much as possible. He would do anything to avoid a repeat on the nasty burger incident. He can't deny Robin the chance to get what could possibly help save his family at some point)
Weeks later, when Batman shows up to question Danny about his activities with Robin, Danny stares at him unblinkingly for long enough that Batman almost starts to fidget (Danny's exhausted, ok? He needed the time to even process what Batman was saying). Then he finally just gets up, opens a drawer, pulls out an overstuffed binder and shoves it at Batman. It has a log of all the things Robin has done since he started his internship. It has an index. It's a copy of the official one already filed with the company Danny works for. Robin might be thorough but Danny has experience with OSHA violations and he's not about to compromise safety by cutting corners.
Batman's reluctantly impressed. Neither mention the fact that he clearly didn't sign any of the paperwork Danny saw.
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Bringing the Scrapyard-verse au to life one carefully manipulated sound bite from the game at a time! 💪😤💪 I have the power of photoshop, sleep deprivation and autistic hyperfixation on my side - I am unstoppable!
This took the better part of a week to put together, but I'm so excited to finally be able to share it. Look at them actually talking!
Look how proud she is! Look how proud he is!
Just imagine where they'll go from here!
Dottore: Oh, we have got to get your hands on some human samples. God remains, maybe..? Have you tried building a mechanical god yet..?
Aino: Hmmm... could it run on krumkaker and shoot fireworks?
Bruce Wayne wakes to a pair of blue eyes inches from his own. It takes him completely by surprise, especially when the eyes slowly bleed in green, and he's just about to give in to the reflex of punting whatever it is away when, at the last possible second, the eyes speak.
"Did you sleep with my parents?"
Bruce opens and closes his mouth, stunned by the accusation. A few seconds go by, during which his foggy mind attempts to fight off lack of sleep long enough to make sense of the growled question.
It obviously took too much time for whoever this is for they sigh impatiently.
The eyes move back, and now when they are no longer taking up his entire view, Bruce can see its a creature of some sort. It's humanoid enough that Bruce would even suspect it of being a teenage boy. It's also oddly familiar, as if he resembled someone Bruce knew a long time ago.
"Did you?" The boy repeats, his articulation sharp as steel.
The double raised eyebrows, the slight head tilt, and even the click of a tongue are all habits that scratch a part of Bruce's brain, and like a dam bursting apart, memories flood his head.
"Oh," he breathes, eyes roaming the creature's face, identifying each feature that he stole from his parents. "You're Jack and Maddie Fenton's. You have your mother's glare and your father's face shape."
The creature, for it can no longer be entirely human with that glow, neon eyes, and the fact that it is levitating as if gravity were an unsolicited opinion, narrowed its eyes. "That's right I am. My name is Danny Fenton"
"Danny," Bruce repeats, tasting the sound on his tongue. He can help, but soften his expression at the confirmation that his old lovers kept the name they used to casually talk about. "Its lovely. Where you named after-"
"The street dog that Dad chased until he crashed into window around the back patio of som rich guy. The same rich guy my Mom was trying to seduce by pretending she needed chemistry tutoring, in the very same patio" Danny huffs, repeating the story he likely heard a thousand times in his life.
Bruce chuckles "Jack always had grand entrances. What are you doing here, Danny?"
Danny frown, bitting his lip before pointing to his hair. Bruce watches it switch between dark black and pure snow white, as well as his flickering eyes that can't seem to decide if they should be blue or green "I need a transplant"
"Are you sick?" Bruce frets twisting the blanket in one hand. If this child was here, based on his age, then he likely came to ask Bruce for a kidney or liver. This is likely his son.
Wow
"Somewhat?" Danny runs a frustrated hand through his hair. Bruce admires how the action causes some strands to stay white. It winds up giving his son salt-and-pepper hair. "A couple of days ago I had an accident during a fight. My core took a nasty hit, and now both sides of being are mixing. I can't control my appearance anymore. My Yeti said I need a soul piece transplant, but it has to be someone comparable. Neither my mom, dad, nor sister is a match, so my mom suggested you might be. Since you are likely my biological father. I know its a lot to ask-"
"Should we go see your Yeti today and prep for the surgery? It is a surgery, isnt it?" Bruce sits up, discarding the fact he undstoood only a third of what the boy said, to focus on the important part. His son needed him. "How do we test to see if we're a match?"
Danny squints at him, before folding his arms over his chest "This doesn't mean I'll become your heir or break up my parents for you"
Bruce blinks "Of course. Why would it?"
"My parents are happily married!"
The man nods, reaching for the robe by his bed. He always slept shirtless, but depending on the season he wore pajamas pants or a pair of briefs. Thankfully, he choose the pants last night. "I am aware. They had fun with me, but they didn't love me. Not the way they loved eachother. Jack and Maddie are soulmates."
A loaded silence goes by before Danny's glow spikes up. Bruce fights the urge to look away, wondering if his son somehow got his DNA spliced with a star or even if his ex-lovers weren't as human as he had thought. Danny now looks like a human outline made of light as the boy looks down at his hand, and shakes it around.
He is obviously trying to shake off the brightness, but it doesn't seem to work, for the boy throws his arms into the air and folds his legs under him. Bruce's eyes start to water from the strain of keeping eye contact- or what he assumes is eye contact. He can't make out the boy's face.
"Gah! I hate this!" Danny whines, "I just want this to be over!"
"We'll get the test done as quickly as possible," Bruce promises, moving over to his closet. "Do I need to pack ann overnight bag for the hospital?"
Danny doesn't have a chance to answer because Alfred chooses to speak out. His butler stands in the doorway, holding a tray of Bruce's morning coffee and pastry.
"Master Bruce? Who are you talking to?" The aged man asks glancing around the room
"My possible son with the Fentons," Bruce replies, waving a hand at Danny, who is still just light. He gets the feeling his boy is studying Alfred closely.
"The Fentons?" Pity and worry clouds Alfred's voice as he slowly creeps closer. Carefully he lowers the tray on the coffee table on the right side of the room. Just as delicately, Alfred replies "Master Bruce. The Fentons broke up with you"
A laugh, half hysterical- half devastated, leaves Bruce throat before he can stop it. "Yeah they broke my heart! Taught me that I was unlovable no matter how hard I tried. HA HA HA HA!"
"Oh" Danny winces. "This is worst then the fruitloop."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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