BORING MOTHERFUCKER

id like to take this time to admit that i think I'm depressed and i can't even cry about it and im confused about who my friends should be, i feel like no one rlly wants to hang out w me, my car doesn't run and im stuck at home all the time, so i have tp uber to work which isn't helping me save, not enough money to get it fixed. meaning i can't make plans w ppl or go to photoshoots and i hate depending on others. my room is a fucking mess and i have no motivation to clean it even tho it bothers me endlessly. im in love with an alcoholic who lives a 1000 miles away who swears that he loves me but i can't even get a phone call. FUCK i feel like I've never been this low. even after my dad died i didn't feel like this. im having a fucking mental breakdown and my head hurts and im crying while typing this.