Emily

I’m at a museum right now and I’m really bored so I was taking a selfie and this rly hot guard said “please do not take pictures of the artwork” and I apologized and explained I was only taking a selfie and he goes “I know” and winked

smooth

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

why is this so funny

I chipped my tooth last night and I think it’s because I was on coke

The sugar and chemicals in coke are really bad for your teeth…. Why would you put something in your body that you can use to clean pennies and toilet bowls? 

Cocaine

I’m so fucking lost