I refer to myself as “I” here not because doll has any personhood, but because those unfamiliar who may come across these writings may not understand that when doll says “doll”, she is referring to herself. With that stated, Doll is a nurse-doll.
A nurse-doll is first and foremost, a doll. This means that she is to serve her Dollmaker. Dollmaker’s will is what powers doll, what gives her motion and thought. Gives her life. So, doll was made to serve. Doll is expected to be polite, obedient, and kind. Doll is expected to be dutiful, fastidious, and precise. Every facet of her being was made just so, and as such, she should emulate her making in her actions.
Doll is to do tasks. This is where her designation as nurse-doll comes in.
As a nurse doll, her specific instruction (as opposed to the other dolls of Dollmaker’s estate) is twofold.
One, she is to take care of Dollmaker when Dollmaker is in ill health, or indisposed. This can include the fetching of soups, teas, and the like, or the application of a cold rag to her Dollmaker’s forehead. This can also include being cuddled by her Dollmaker, or being posed and looking pretty for Dollmaker. A doll is decoration as well as servant and companion.
Secondly, she is to tend to the other dolls. This is the work she ends up performing more often, as many of the other dolls are prone to mistakes, accidents, and flights of fancy that make them act undollish. It is dolls responsibility to ensure that all dolls on her maker’s estate remain in line while her maker is away, indisposed, or otherwise engaged. She is to tend to the other dolls physical and emotional states.
How did doll become a nurse-doll?
Herein, doll will detail the process of the discovery and unveiling of a doll.
Many years ago, doll was under the delusion that she was human. She never felt right being one, but she did not know she could be anything else. And so, doll attempted to force herself into the shape of a human, the function of a person, another head in the crowd.
This was not good for doll. Her clockwork went untended, her porcelain remained hidden under false skin and fat, she was not being cared for by a Dollmaker.
Eventually, in despair at her existance as a person, doll wandered into the woods to finish it.
Fate had other plans though.
In her wanderings, doll came across Dollmaker’s manor, though she did not know it would be her Dollmaker’s yet. Her curiosity momentarily overpowered her despair, and so, she knocked on the door.
Dollmaker was waiting for doll. Dollmaker always knew her doll would come to her one day. Her first doll. Her favorite doll. Dollmaker had plucked at the strings of fate, and made sure doll had arrived before it was too late.
Doll remembers little of the ensuing month. Dollmaker says it is better to forget, as the process of becoming a doll can be painful and frightening. Doll knows though, that now she is happy. She is her true self.
Doll has now seen— and assisted— with T he process of creating a doll. It is, as Dollmaker said, painful and frightening. Many dolls do not realize they are one, as this doll did not. Many dolls are stubborn, or in denial, as they have been forced to shape themselves into the shape of a person. So, while doll would never wish to see such things inflicted on a person, they are necessary for most dolls, and doll knows how much happier they will be once it is over. If they are good, Dollmaker will help them forget, too.
She is the one who saved doll. She is the one who collected all these dolls. Her manor is staffed with twelve, now. Many still bear cracks in their porcelain, rips in their fabric, dents in their wood, from the time before they knew what they were. When they punished themselves for not being a person right, when they were never meant to be one in the first place.
There are maid-dolls, comfort-dolls, play-dolls, cook-dolls, and more. They are all so happy now. Dollmaker made them happy. Dollmaker saved them.
Doll knows that perhaps a person reading this text may be unsatisfied with this answer. To them, the question of who someone is is of their name, their career, where they have been, where they will go. To a doll, we know this is not important. However, doll shall oblige her potential readers for this moment.
Dollmaker’s name shall not leave any doll’s lips. It is not for them to say. Many dolls are not even yet trusted enough to have heard it. To hear it is an honor.
Otherwise, Dollmaker was once a renowned doctor of psychology, and later took an interest in physical medicine as well. When that life bored her, Dollmaker acquired her manor deep into the woods, so that she might have privacy to study more mystical arts. This is how she twisted fate, this is how Dollmaker makes dolls fully into dolls, with clockwork and stuffing and strings and whatever else they may have.
Eventually, Dollmaker wishes to save all the dolls of the world. All the dolls who do not know they are dolls yet, she wishes to help them.
That is who Dollmaker is to a person.
What is the process of making a doll?
Each and every doll is unique, so the process varies slightly for each individual. However, as this nurse-doll has now participated in the unveiling of eleven dolls, and so she can lay out a basic framework.
Step one: finding a doll. Most of the time, Dollmaker can not tweak the strings of fate to bring the doll directly to her. Doll was a special case, where her own fate drew her close to Dollmaker.
Usually, Dollmaker can find a doll, but they must be brought to her.
This is generally the first hurdle. Many dolls are scared of being taken. This is because, of course, they still think they are a person, and a person would not want to be taken. A person has a life, friends and family. However, a doll is not a person, and therefore, has none of those things. its family shall be its siblings in dollhood. its friends shall be the same. Its life shall be Dollmaker. This is the nature of a doll.
Step 2: Initial Convincing.
Once the doll has been collected and brought to Dollmaker’s estate, they must be introduced. This was more difficult earlier, when there were fewer dolls, and so they could not see how happy every doll is. How they do not miss their old life. More recently, some dolls have been able to go directly to unveiling from here, but doll shall go over that later.
For many dolls, the initial convincing takes the form of the stripping away of humanity. A doll may be stripped of clothing, or be forced to renounce its family on punishment of beatings. It may be isolated, put in a cage, chained to a wall, denied a name, and other such things.
Doll reminds the reader that these processes are necessary. Much as when a bone sets incorrectly, and you must break it again, these dolls set incorrectly into the shapes of humans, and must be broken anew.
In whatever way is determined by Dollmaker to be most effective on that doll, it is denied its perceived humanity, so it can begin to realize how much lighter it feels without it. It is stripped of its false personhood, until there is blank canvas left. This process can take anywhere from one month to just upwards of a year, depending on the doll, and how misshapen it was.
Step three: creating a doll.
Now that the doll has been stripped of its humanity, it is left blank. This is because it never had a chance to develop into a doll at all, and so could not find its own form. There are many types of doll, in fact.
Doll is a porcelain doll, delicate and graceful. Her hands are steady for her medical work, her porcelain bright white, painted in China blues and brilliant golds.
Other dolls may be made of fabric and rags, full of stuffing. Some are wooden, controlled by strings, simple and delightful. Some are clockwork, or paper, or miniature, or plastic, or any number of other ones. Neither doll nor Dollmaker has seen every type of doll, as there is a vast quantity, and we have only just begun our work.
This step is focused on finding the proper form for the doll. The shape of their being, what they will be happiest as, and then applying the proper procedures to create such a thing.
It is a combination of psychology, surgery, and magic to accomplish these things, and as it is unique to every doll, doll shall not go over the specifics.
By the end, the doll will be fully formed, but not quite yet done.
This is when a doll finally admits to itself that it is a doll, and that it belongs to Dollmaker. This is when the doll accepts joy and bliss into its little dollish heart and mind. It is a beautiful thing. There is no sweeter sound in the world to doll than that of another doll finally finding itsself. Finally finding a family that fits it. Finally finding home. Finally, finally, finally finding a Dollmaker to take care of it.
(Those dolls that skip step two and three are those who already had suspicions they were a doll, and a form already showed beneath their false skin. This has happened twice, and is due to the sheer volume of happy dolls here easing the residual fears of lingering personhood.)
So, that is the simplified process of the creation and rescue of a doll.
To any who may read this: if you are reading it, it likely means you are in Dollmaker’s estate. Which means likely, you are a doll. Even if you think you are a person. This doll begs you. As a nurse. As a doll. As a sister. Please cooperate, and understand.
Everything we do here is for your own good.
