Can we talk about how many extremely successful celebrities have admitted they manifested their fame? You have REAL LIFE PEOPLE telling you they manifested their everything and you STILL doubt the law?
Oprah Winfrey has talked numerous times about manifesting her dreams, including her role in a movie she liked by visualising herself as an actress in the said movie. “The way you think creates reality for yourself.” — Oprah in 2007 on American talk show.
Ariana Grande wrote a whole song called “Pete Davidson”, which talks about how she manifested her relationship and engagement with Pete. “I thought you into my life / Universe must have my back” — Her own lyrics.
Lady Gaga is super open about how she manifested her fame by repeating affirmations to herself. “You repeat it to yourself every day. And it’s not yet, it’s a lie. You’re saying a lie over and over and over again, and then, one day, the lie is true.” — Her own words.
And these are just some of those who openly talked about it, but there’s many more ‘subtle’ cases, just like how Megan The Stallion tweeted in 2014 “I promise rap is gonna take off for me” or Tom Holland admitting Zendaya was his first celebrity crush and now he’s full on dating her.
So who cares if Jimmy and his 30 followers believe manifestation isn’t real? Let them be, they don’t matter. They are happy with living in failure, but you don’t have to settle for that.
Manifestation found you for a reason, don’t let it go to waste because of miserable people, they aren’t the ones you should be taking advice from.
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summary: you're wed to ser gwayne hightower in one last desperate attempt to unite the realm; but when the war tears the two of you apart, you're taken prisoner by his cousin, lord ormund hightower, where the line between duty and desire begins to blur. (12k)
contents: targ!reader (no physical descriptions), love triangle, enemies to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, forbidden love, infidelity, canon divergence, cw for brief mentions of attempted assault and smut 18+ (MDNI): fem receiving oral, unprotected sex, ormund has a scent kink
( NAVIGATION ) | ( MASTERLIST ) | ( AO3 )
i. DUTY & HONOR
Your last name was, perhaps, your greatest burden. It was the very walls of your prison; the unseen chain cinched perpetually around your throat. You had inherited the dragon’s blood, it seems, but not the dragon’s freedom — and when Rhaenyra’s fleet sailed across the Narrow Sea to wage war over a throne of swords, it forgot to take you with it. The only home you’d ever known was soon filled with ghosts donned in Hightower green and whispers of your leaving.
You were going to die here. That is a truth you learned long ago. Your only wish was that they’d hurry up and get it over with.
They gave you a husband instead.
Your marriage to Ser Gwayne Hightower was heralded as an act of wisdom, the proof that wounds carved by old grievances could yet be stitched together, with silk ribbons tied around the wrists and a few spoken vows declared before the Sept. It was to be the very bridge that united the green and black. But the bridge burned anyway, and left the two of you behind.
“They wed us to prevent a war that had already begun,” you’d scoffed, already deep into your cups at the feasting table, when Maester Orwyle called the fight to come inevitable.
“No…” Gwayne hummed from beside you, still perfectly temperate, though his blue eyes were heavy with a burden too old for a man of his years. “They wed us so that, when the histories of this moment are written, someone might say that they tried.”
You’d laughed then, loud enough to gain the attention of the rest of the courtiers at the long table — because Ser Gwayne was not entirely wrong, to be sure, but he was far too generous for his own good; generous enough to believe that the effort of your marriage actually meant something in the grand scheme of things.
Gwayne Hightower was a sensible man. He was not outwardly affectionate, maybe, but he was no less kind. There was no great love in your union — not like all the songs and fairytales insist, at least — but there was safety. Security. Stability. His presence often found you like the thick walls of an ancient keep, steadfast against the howling winds of a summer storm. You would find no certainty of your future in war, but being Gwayne’s wife meant, at the very least, that you were still alive today.
That unsaid assurance is perhaps a greater gift than any truly loving marriage could’ve been for you. And, perhaps, it was with that unsaid assurance that you came to admire him, without ever realizing you were doing so — always searching for his face in crowds, waiting every night for the familiar sound of his footsteps to walk outside your chamber doors, constantly watching him from a distance (which has become a most embarrassing habit of yours).
You find him now on the western balcony overlooking Blackwater Bay, where the moon climbs high over shimmering midnight waters. The salty breeze mixes with the scent of damp stone and dying fires from the lantern light glittering in the city below. Gwayne stands alone with his forearms propped on the pale stone balustrade, having exchanged his armor for a forest-green doublet embroidered with winding gold vines. The fading torchlights gild his silken auburn hair, stirred loose by the sea breeze.
You linger just beneath the archway, hidden in the place where the torchlight turns to shadow, studying the slope of his strong shoulders and how they rise and fall with each breath. He looks lonely; lonely enough for your chest to tighten with the want to close the distance between you and slip in beside him. But your feet refuse to move. And whatever affection was warming in your chest before pierces through you like a sword.
“You’re staring.” The suddenness of his voice startles you.
“…You’re supposed to be watching the sea,” you respond, half-shy. He doesn’t look back at you when you emerge finally from the shadows; slippers scuffing the cobblestones, black skirts fluttering at your feet.
“I was,” Gwayne nods.
“Then how could you possibly notice I was standing there?”
He turns to face you then, as you settle on the balcony just beside him, keeping a few feet of careful distance between you like you always did — as if, in your union, an invisible line had been wedged between you and could not be crossed.
The corner of his mouth lifts slowly into a crooked smile. “Because I notice everything about you,” he answers like it’s simple, like he hadn’t just stolen the breath from your lungs.
Heat crawls up the low neckline of your dress, speckling across your cheeks and the very tip of your ears. You turn away, face screwed in a feigned disgust, and busy your hands with an imaginary wrinkle on your sleeve.
“That,” you murmur. “Is a terrifying thought.”
“Well, it ought to terrify you,” Gwayne quips knowingly, bending softly at the waist to fold his arms along the stone railing. “I’ve seen the way you steal the candied slices off of all your lemon cakes just to leave the sponge untouched, you know? Like an utter madwoman.”
“Well…” you huff, face flaring hot at the acknowledgment of being so openly seen by another. “It seems I made the dreadful mistake of marrying the observant man in the Seven Kingdoms.”
“And here I thought that distinction belonged to my cousin,” Gwayne jokes lowly, brows raised to his hairline. “I shall write to Lord Ormund at once and relieve him of the title.”
You laugh quietly through your nose and turn away again. Silence settles comfortably over you once more, filled only by the distant clanging of metal as guards change their shift and the far-off crowing of a caged raven. The night feels impossibly dark, emptier than usual. It feels like an omen of sorts.
“It grows worse, does it not?” you wonder aloud through the breath that catches in your chest, as if you were half scared to even ask.
Gwayne’s thin smile slowly fades. His adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “Aye,” he nods. “I fear it does.”
“I keep… hoping that…” You swallow around the invisible hand tightening around your throat. “That they’ll remember I am your wife before they remember whose blood I carry. I feel it’s the only reason they’ve yet to take my head.”
“Of course, they remember,” he assures you.
“It feels less and less so these days.”
“They’re only frightened—”
“I’m frightened,” you remind him.
The admission lingers between you like the salt water scent hanging in the air. Gwayne studies you for a long moment — he sees the flicker of sincerity flashing across your face right before you turn away from him again, and the way your jaw clenches a second later in regret of saying the words aloud.
He leans an elbow along the parapet to face you fully. And, as if to soothe you, he asks, “If there were no war… No thrones, no dragons—”
“No Hightowers?” you add.
“—If the Stranger himself appeared before you now and offered you another life,” the auburn-haired man continues with a hint of a smile gracing his lips. “What would you do?”
You ponder the question for a moment, eyes zeroed on the navy black horizon ahead as your fingers fidget on the stony barricade. “I should like a farm,” you answer, mouth twitching into an absentminded grin. “Somewhere far away from here. So I could raise chickens—”
“Chickens?” he scoffs a dry laugh, then softens a second later at the sincere look you give him. He swallows hard and nods supportively. “Most ladies would’ve said children, is all…”
“Well, I am not most ladies…” you tell him. “I would have a field of apple trees, and a hundred dogs to protect all my chickens and horses and fluffy cows— you know, the ones that live down in the Reach?”
“Well…” Gwayne croons. “You’ve certainly thought about this, haven’t you?”
“Every day,” you confess. The honesty in your answer strikes him down like a blade; the sorrowful look that heavies your face even more so. The reality of your situation returns to you then, settling over you like gravity’s inevitable weight. You swallow hard before you confess, “I fear they’ll kill me if matters grow worse at Dragonstone.”
“They won’t.”
“You cannot know that.”
“I do,” Gwayne assures you and takes a slow step closer, until the inherent warmth of his skin dulls the bite of the bitter sea wind. He ducks his chin to his chest to chase your gaze, peering down at you with glittering blue eyes. “I swore a vow before gods and men, did I not?”
“So do most men—”
“Well, I am not most men,” he lilts with an air of amusement hanging on the edge of his words. “I actually meant my vows.”
Your eyes soften as they search his face, looking for any hint of hesitation or doubt in his handsome features. You find no uncertainty there; just the maddening, immovable confidence that seems to be stitched into the very fiber of his making.
“If this castle should fall tomorrow…” you whisper to him, eyes narrowing in skepticism. “Or if your family decides that I have become too great a burden to keep here… What happens then?”
“Then I shall stand in the doorway,” he shrugs.
A shocked laugh sputters from your mouth at his boyish conviction. “And if they mean to come through it?”
“Then…” His lips jut softly. “They shall first have to make a corpse of me.”
“You are a valiant knight, Ser Gwayne, but you cannot fight an entire army.”
“Perhaps not,” he replies with a sad sort of smile. “But armies are made of men. And every man who wishes to reach you will first have to face me... As I said… I meant my vows.”
Something in his words strikes a deep sadness within you. No one had ever spoken of your being like it possessed any value worth defending, and now the words come from the very family you were meant to despise.
But even still, for the first time since the ravens brought the tidings of war and the dragons took wing against dragon, you believed him. You believed that, should the whole realm come crashing down around you, Ser Gwayne would likely be the only one left standing at your side when the last stone fell.
And, gods, how stupid you were to do so.
ii. OATHS & ASHES
The news of your husband’s leaving came not from your husband himself.
It came, rather, in whispers at court, slithering through the Red Keep like snakes beneath rushes — passing from Gold Cloak to stable boy to serving girl to scullion. “They say Ser Criston and his knights are marching for Harrenhal on the morrow,” says a thick-accented handmaiden. “Lord Hand means to smoke Daemon from the castle. It’ll be Prince Aemond’s before the next moon, no doubt.”
Your stomach dropped so harshly at the whispers that you nearly retched upon the marble. It was not Gwayne’s leaving that frightened you so, but rather what his absence would represent — he might as well throw you to the hounds himself before he goes, because you were as good as dead with him gone.
Your slippers strike the ancient stone in a frantic rhythm as you turn on your heel to storm back the way you came. The harsh echo of the soles catches the attention of surrounding servants, who flatten themselves against the walls as you hurry suddenly past. Your heartbeat pounds like thunder in your ears, far louder than the bells of the Great Sept that toll the evening hour — the combination of both feels like an ominous funeral knell.
You rush up the winding stone staircase with your crimson skirts gathering in your fists. Gwayne’s chambers sit directly opposite yours, and you find the heavy wooden door is cracked ajar. The hinges screechbeneath your palm when you shove it the rest of the way open without warning. The sight you find on the other side hollows you from the inside out — a travel satchel, laid open along the emerald sheets. Inside, a whetstone, riding gloves, a leather-bound prayer book, a sword belt, a flask.
The careful order of it all feels almost cruel. Chaos, at the very least, would suggest some air of hesitation from the man; a faint pause at leaving you behind. This, however, feels far too final.
Gwayne stands at the head of the bed with his back facing you. His pale hands work with a quiet precision to roll a Hightower-green cloak into his bag. He did not need to turn at the sudden intrusion. He learned the sound of your footsteps long ago.
“I wondered how long it might take,” the man croons distantly. The calmness of his voice, the indifference, sets you entirely aflame.
“Why would you not tell me?” you bite in response.
Gwayne glances over his shoulder at you then. The flickering candlelight turns his hair a more golden shade of Hightower-red, and carves the soft edges of his face out in shadow. He was still every inch the striking knight that the whispers purported him to be — broad as an oak tree, handsome as a saint carved into an altar — but there’s a foreign weariness etched into his features now. It darkens the skin beneath his eyes, turns his gaze a duller shade of icy blue.
“Well, I was going to, of course.”
“When?” The sharpness in your voice could draw blood.
“…Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Your laugh splinters the otherwise silent room, sharper than broken glass. You shut the door behind you with an aggressive hand and close the distance between you, dress skirts billowing wildly at your ankles. “When you ride at dawn? And you meant to tell me when your horses were already saddled?”
“Yes,” Gwayne sighs, lowering the folded doublet into its place. “I thought I might spare you one night’s grief—”
“You’re abandoning me,” you tell him then, as if to translate the man’s words back to himself. You linger at his side, eyes darting wildly over his profile when he fails to meet your gaze. “Just like all the rest of them. You do realize that, right?”
“The king has given orders—”
“Well, it wasn’t the king who stood beside me at Blackwater Bay not even a week ago, was it?” Your voice lowers into a faux-masculine tone, trying and failing to mock him. “If anyone comes for you, I shall stand in the doorway—”
Gwayne scoffs. “Surely, I do not sound like that.”
“—They shall first have to make a corpse of me.”
“Yes… I remember,” he answers through a slow huff of annoyance, stepping back from his travel bag to drag a pair of weary hands down his face. “I was— well into my cups by then, as you well know—”
“Oh, do not cheapen those words now,” you spit, shoving hard at his shoulder. Gwayne’s features twist in offense as his wide eyes glance down at the hand you’d pushed him with, though he doesn’t move an inch. “Don’t dishonor yourself with a coward’s excuse just to make up for the fact that you lied.”
Gwayne’s composure fractures at that. He had spent too much of his life trying to be a good knight, a good man — one that maybe his callous father could be proud of — so he refuses to stomach accusations of otherwise from you.
His icy blue eyes harden into a glacial sort of look, more hurt than truly angry. He lays his cloak into place to face you fully.
“Do you not see that I am leaving to keep the fight from coming here?”
“Do not you see that by leaving me here that I’m as good as dead?” you retort through a jaw clenched tight. “If you do not take me with you, then—”
“Of course I’m not taking you with me!” he scoffs with a crooked smile, like it’s funny to him. “You’d be dead before we made it to the God’s Eye—”
“And I will be dead before this war is won if you leave!” you shout, voice wet and fragile with the unshed tears burning the backs of your eyes. “The fight is already here! The people who wish me dead are in these walls! They pour my wine, they wash my hair, they cook my food, they bow when I walk by and whisper when my back is turned! And if you aren’t here, then…”
You trail off with a ragged breath. Your corset feels suddenly tight against your ribs. You choke back the sob that strangles your throat and blink rapidly to clear the haze of tears blurring at your waterline. You peer up at the man with the sternest gaze you can muster.
“I am… frightened,” you tell him, though your voice cracks into a fragile whisper halfway through.
The anger disappears from Gwayne’s face as quickly as it arrived. His shoulders deflate with a slow huff through his nose as he takes a slow step towards you. His hands release their clenched fists to reach hesitantly for your face. His palms are warm and softly calloused when they cup your cheeks, caressing you with a tenderness he hasn’t shown since your bedding ceremony six or more moons ago.
The quiet half-smile he gives you, then, is weighed down by a palpable sadness.
“To tell you the truth… I have never been more afraid than I am right now,” he confesses in a low murmur, swiping his thumb over the warm apple of your cheek. The softness in his voice threatens to undo you entirely.
“So then don’t go,” you plead in a small voice, grasping at the front of his emerald doublet until the golden vines wrinkle under your grip. “Please.”
“If Harrenhal remains in Rhaenyra’s hold, and if Daemon rallies the Riverland armies, then the war will come here,” Gwayne continues in a painfully steady voice. “I fear I don’t have a choice in the matter.”
“Everyone has a choice,” you tell him, filled with a girlish sort of rage once more. “But, I suppose you’ve already made yours.”
The man meets your scowl with a tired, slightly heartbroken smile. “Please do not make me spend my last night with my wife quarreling with her,” Gwayne jokes quietly, swiping an eyelash from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “At least leave me with something to hold onto until my return.”
Your tight chest deflates with a slow sigh from your nose. The rage ebbs evenly into grief. “And what shall I have, hm? Considering tonight is very likely my last one alive and all…”
Gwayne laughs. “You are being… catastrophically dramatic.”
Your chest burns with a mixture of rage and desire. He could never possibly understand you, but somehow, he is the only one with the walls of the Keep who ever has. The contrast is dizzying.
“I hate you,” you hear yourself say.
“Perhaps...” Gwayne hums, warm breath fanning across your cheek. “But not nearly as much as you love me.”
Your first instinct is to strike him for the sarcasm in his words; your second is to weep at the truth of them. He kisses you before you can do either.
He ducks down to press his lips to yours in a tender kiss, a mere brushing of your lips. The last time he had done so was beneath the glowing candles of the Sept, following the declaration of your wedding vows. But that was an obligation, a political victory of sorts.
This kiss is far sweeter in comparison. You feel the man heavying against you as he falls deeper into your touch. He opens your mouth with his and flicks the pad of his tongue against yours, like velvet brushing velvet. Your hands tremble as they leave the chest of his doublet to rake through his auburn locks, like silk between your fingers. You sigh against his open mouth at the taste of him — like wine and mint and oranges — sweet enough to get drunk on.
It takes you a long moment to realize his hands have snaked around your waist accordingly. You don’t realize his deft fingers are loosening the tie in your corset until the discomfort in your ribs disappears entirely. Your body acts before your mind, and your arms slither from their sleeves to curl once more around Gwayne’s broad shoulders.
The man folds the top of your dress down until your bare chest is revealed to him. A grumbled moan sounds in the back of his throat as he pulls you back into him with two wide palms along your bare back, pressing your breasts flush against his chest. He thinks, if he concentrated hard enough, he could feel the steady thundering of your heart like this.
“Gwayne—” you whisper against his mouth when you feel something hardening against your hip. Your hands drop from his hair to slide between your bodies, headed for the tie in his trousers to release the stiffness growing there.
He twists you round in the meanwhile, shoes scuffing the cobbles, until the bend of your knees meets the edge of the mattress behind you. He lays you down without once taking his mouth off of yours, with one wide palm splayed along your ribcage and his other cradling the back of your neck.
He pulls off of you with a quiet smack to catch his breath. A small whimper sounds in the back of your throat when his warm body leaves yours, rising to reach down for your skirts. Your bare chest heaves as you sit up on your elbows to watch him fumble with your dress. “Gods above, how many skirts are you wearing?” you hear him complain under his breath. “I’ve faced hedge knights with fewer defenses than this.”
You giggle when he finally pushes the layers of your dress up to your hips. Your thighs spread on instinct, exposing yourself to him. Gwayne’s mouth waters at the sight of your silken folds, already glittering in anticipation. Your chest tightens when he falls to his knees before you.
“What are you doing?” you ask on bated breath.
Gwayne flashes you a love-drunk grin and a pair of glassy blue eyes. His warm palms smooth along the velvety skin of your inner thighs to spread them further. “Call it a knight’s act of service, shall we?” he quips.
His auburn head disappears beneath your bunched-up skirts a second later. Your face twists momentarily in confusion before you feel his tongue slotting in the silk folds of your cunt. He licks a fat stripe up the length of it, until his tongue finds something that makes your hips twitch despite yourself. His mouth closes around the sensitive button, suckling at it with a grumbled moan in the back of his throat.
Your head tips back at the feeling. Your lips part as if to moan, but the electric shock in the pit of your stomach knocks all the available air from your lungs. You feel him laughing against you when your thighs clench suddenly around his head, tighter than you realize.
Gwayne pulls off of you with a quick smacking sound. He wears your slick down to his chin as he flashes you a teasing, glassy-eyed look. “I’d quite like to keep my head, dear wife—”
You say nothing in response to his quip. You just dart a head to the crown of his skull and shove his face back between your thighs.
Gwayne complies without complaint, lapping at the honey you leak for him, until the wet sounds of his mouth fill the quiet chambers. You rock your hips against his face, bracing yourself with the auburn locks you clench in your fist.
His nose nudges the swollen bud that makes you keen, right before he takes it in his mouth again. Your skin buzzes at the foreign feeling.
“Gwayne—” you gasp. A tight feeling settles deep in your stomach, like a fraying knot about to snap. Your back arches off the mattress. Your hand tightens in his hair. Your features screw in a pain look, half-scared at the pleasure welling within you. “I can’t—”
“Mm…” he just keeps moaning against you, letting the vibrations deepen your pleasure. His wide hands smooth up and down your outer thighs when they tremble on either side of his head, clenching around him as your orgasm hits you with a pleasured whine. He laps up every ounce of honey you leak for him, and sighs hard through his nose at the salty-sweet taste of you.
Only when your legs grow finally lax around his jaw does he pull back from your thighs. A smile curls lazily at his rosier, more swollen mouth. The bottom half of his face glitters in the candlelight with a mixture of saliva and cum — you lift your head in time to watch him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.
“If this truly is my final night alive…” you say through panted breaths, eyes still wide from the shock of your simmering pleasure. “I feel I could finally die a happy woman.”
“I’m glad I could be of service, princess…” Gwayne smiles lazily, grimacing slightly at the ache in his knees as he rises from the unforgiving cobbles. He leans down to lay his warmth back over you. You stop him with a firm hand on his chest.
“I want to be on top this time,” you confess in a breathless whisper, eyes darting back and forth between his.
Gwayne’s brows raise slowly in shock at your sudden display of dominance. The corner of his lip twitches into a smile the same way his cock twitches in his boxers. He nods until the words catch up to him. “As you wish…”
iii. CROWNS & CAGES
You did not weep when they came for you, scarcely a fortnight after your lord husband’s leaving.
Gwayne was gone by first light, perhaps already a league or more away before you stirred awake that morning to the chill of an empty bed. He parted with nothing but a folded scrap of parchment resting where his head had been the night before. In his scrawled handwriting, half-smudged from where his wrist had dragged the ink in haste, he wrote: “Write to me. Don’t die. I’ll build the form for you myself.”
You keep the note tucked safely inside the chest of your corset now, folded so many times that the edges have already begun to soften. You keep it close to your heart like a holy relic, or perhaps, a threat to whatever unlucky son of a bitch kills you first — something to discover on your corpse after they slit your throat, so they’ll know who to answer to upon your husband’s return.
Eventually, the servants ceased asking whether you needed anything, and all your meals came cold. Conversations ceased the moment you entered a room, and doors slammed shut before you could reach them. And then, when word spread that a wild dragon had taken wing not far from here, all eyes of suspicion turned to you — to whom a dragon had never belonged, though the blood in your veins wearied the courtiers all the same. Rhaenyra had already added three new riders to her fleet; she certainly did not need another.
You were no longer a bride, but a prisoner in pretty gowns — it was the Queen Dowager, and your sister by law, who confirmed as much to you.
“I had hoped…” Alicent started slowly, bathed half in sunshine and half in shadow from where she stood before the window in your quarters, watching the distant storm clouds blow in over Blackwater. “That I might never have to ask this of you.”
Her auburn curls swept over her pale shoulder when she turned to face you. Something heavy sat in her round green eyes, as if she wanted you to finish the rest of it for her. But you remained as stoic and silent as ever from where you sat at the small dining table just across from her. Your hands wrung into knots over your skirts, hidden beneath the surface, as you waited for the words of your fate to fall from her lips.
“The council believes that— Should the opportunity present itself, you would attempt to reach the wild beast. The Cannibal, I believe it’s called,” Alicent said. “And through him, Rhaenyra.”
“So…” You sighed, making no attempt to argue the subject. It did not matter whether or not it was true; the possibility was enough to make you a criminal. “The Black Cells, then?”
“No,” Alicent shook her head, half-offended by the suggestion. “Of course not. My cousin, Lord Ormund, he commands the Hightower host. He has agreed to keep you under his… protection for the time being.”
“Protection?” you echoed through a scoff. The word tasted foreign and bitter in your mouth. “What a pleasant name for captivity.”
Alicent’s face flickered with a mother’s sort of sympathy. Her hands wrang together beneath the draping sleeves of her emerald dress.“You will be treated with every courtesy your station deserves, I assure you.”
“If your council means to bargain with me, Your Grace…” you started with a sad smile. “They mistake me for something worth bartering for. Rhaenyra already abandoned e— keeping me hostage will not make her respond to your offered terms.”
“Even still… You would be far safer there than you would be here, whether or not you believe that’s true,” Alicent said. “I know what my brother would wish of me. And Gwayne would never forgive me if I didn’t do everything I could to keep you safe.”
The long journey south smells of wet earth and horse dung. By the time you reach the Hightower encampment — which sprawls across the rolling fields like a second city — your fine silk gown has long surrendered to the dust of the road, and your hands now bear the tenderness of a week spent in the saddle.
Your broad-shouldered escort guides you through the avenue of canvas tents billowing wildly beneath snapping green banners. The air smells of woodsmoke, cooked venison, and salty sweat — the soft breeze carries with it the sound of laughter, barking hounds, clanking chainmail, and shouted commands.
A pair of guards draw back the heavy canvas of the biggest pavilion in the camp. “My lord,” one says to announce your arrival inside, right before the entrance flap closes heavily behind you.
Inside, candles burn despite the lingering daylight, filling the enclosed tent with the smell of beeswax and parchment from the large map covering the long oak table. Pieces carved from ivory and oak mark castles and armies across the whole of Westeros, waiting to be won or maybe burned.
A strange man stands over them with his broad hands planted along the edge, visibly built beneath his ornately decorated armor, and standing several inches taller than the rest of the knights in the room.
Lord Ormund was not pretty like Gwayne, but he was his own kind of handsome, made of sharp edges and strong features. His Hightower-auburn curls are less vivid in color and sheared short. He has his family’s pair of striking blue eyes, too, which feel a little like they’re piercing you when he glances up from his map.
“Leave us,” he commands his guards in a low, melodic voice, keeping his eyes on you as his knights filter out of the tent. Their armor clatters faintly as they go. The man doesn’t say another word until they’re gone.
“So…” he hums, one corner of his mouth lifting upwards. “The infamous dragon bride.”
Your brows bounce at the title. It feels like another chain around your neck. “I suppose I’ve been called worse…” you sigh, studying him with the same curiosity. “You must be Lord Ormund.”
“I must,” the man nods as he rounds the war table at an unhurried pace.
His boots sink into the woven rungs laid across the hard earth with each step. He towers several inches over your head when he plants himself in front of you. He smells of steel and sweat and strongly of incense.
“I expected someone… older.”
His brows raise in amusement. “And here I expected someone taller.”
“Well,” you deadpan, eyes narrowing up at him as your hands clasp behind your back. “I’m sorry for disappointing you, Ser.”
“Oh, I’ve endured far worse disappointments, my lady, I assure you.” A ghost of a smile graces his pink lips as his eyes soften slightly around the edges. “I give you my word. While you remain beneath my banners, no harm will come to you.”
You sigh hard through your nose. “Yes… People keep promising me that.”
“I’m sure they have… But I intend to honor it.” The certainty of the man’s words unsettles you. It’s strange, you find, to be looked at like you were something worth protecting. “And if you require anything— anything at all. You need only ask.”
You nod slowly with a deep exhale, considering the offer. “A quill,” you conclude firmly.
Ormund blinks. “A… A quill?”
“Yes,” you say. “And parchment.”
“For… What purpose?” he laughs.
You glance over your shoulder towards the tent’s fluttering entrance, where the last light of the early evening burns gold against a sea of green banners. You wonder, briefly, how many soldiers outside this pavilion would celebrate if they found you dead on the morrow — how many would mourn, how many would care enough to do anything at all.
You think, perhaps, that in the whole of the Seven Kingdoms, there is only one person who would weep for you. And he was a hundred leagues away.
“So that I may write to my lord husband,” you answer finally. “And tell him that I was right… And that he still owes me a farm.”
Lord Ormund allows you to write to Gwayne that night, and every seventh day after. It was the only thing you could look forward to, since there was little else to do at camp. He had been gracious enough to give you your own pavilion at the edge of the command encampment, close enough for the sentries to watch but far enough away to force you into solitude.
It was clean and moderately comfortable — with a narrow cot draped in a single wool blanket, a traveling chest for the few dresses you were allowed to bring, a wash basin, and a small writing table tucked beneath the only slit in the canvas that permitted daylight. Inside smelled of candle wax, pressed linen, and lavender soap.
Outside smelled of war — of pressed metal from the blacksmiths, of men cursing over burnt porridge, of stableboys tending to horses who fouled the earth faster than they could shovel it. It was cruel, how the world went on while you could go scarcely a step without an escort. Eventually, you became accustomed to feeling a hundred eyes upon your back — most curious, others suspicious, some outright hateful.
The letters you wrote to Gwayne, at least, gave you the illusion of escape. You tended to each with careful precision — melting the wax, stamping it shut, then tying it off with a ribbon — and watched from afar as one of Ormund’s knights carried them toward the rookery. It was not until the twentieth day at camp, when you wandered further than you were typically allowed, that you noticed that none of your messages had been sent. You watched the knight toss the letter into the fire, flinching slightly when the flames sparked beneath the fresh kindling.
It had been four days since then.
And you haven’t eaten once in protest.
It took roughly half that time for Lord Ormund’s patience to run thin. He’s suffered the endless whispers of your attempts to starve to death with an increasing displeasure. He commands thousands of knights beneath his banners, serves as the leader of his house with grace, and yet — he still cannot seem to manage to command one lady to supper. It was absurd. Humiliating. And worse, it invited doubt. What army will follow a man whom they believe incapable of governing his own household?
On the fifth evening, after your breakfast tray went untouched that morning, Ormund opts to bring you your supper himself. He marches through the crowded camp with his jaw clenched tight like a soldier headed into battle. His chainmail clanks with every step. Avoiding the stares he gets from surrounding knights feels borderline impossible.
He throws open the entrance of your tent without ceremony. The canvas snaps sharply beneath his aggressive hand as he ducks suddenly underneath it. The light of the golden evening pours suddenly inside around his towering silhouette before the flap falls shut behind him once more, trapping the two of you inside.
There, he finds you lying on your cot, staring upward at the slit in the pavilion where one lonely shaft of sunlight spills through. Your fingers drift lazily through the rays, as if you were trying to catch it somehow.
Your head snaps suddenly to the side at the sudden intrusion — your hair is loose and unkempt, because no one ever taught you how to do it yourself, and all of your dresses are now wrinkled and stained with dirt. The thin white nightgown you wear makes you look more sunken, more lifeless.
Ormund grasps your tray with one hand and reaches for your small writing desk with the other. He lectures you through the distant pang of sympathy in his chest.
“I have commanded men twice your size—” His boots are heavy on the thin rug as he carries the desk over to you. “I have started sieges, I have broken sieges. And yet—” He slams the table in front of you with a dull thump. You try not to cower under the icy blue glare he gives you. “I cannot seem to persuade one prisoner— a lady, no less— to eat her supper. And I confess, it does very little for confidence in my command. So eat.”
Ormund slams the tray onto the desk. The broth steaming in a small wooden bowl sloshes over. Next to it, strips of leftover venison and a broken loaf of stale bread. Your empty stomach twists painfully with a mixture of nausea and hunger.
“So…” you start lowly, clearing your throat when your voice comes gravelly. You rise from your supine position on weak limbs. The fabric of your nightgown rides up your thighs as you turn to place your bare feet on the ground — eyes dull when you peer up at the man from beneath your lashes. “You admit it, then? That I am your prisoner here?”
His jaw clenches tight. His nostrils flare through a sharp breath. He no longer finds amusement in your banter. “Your status here depends entirely on your pliancy,” he spits, ripping off a piece of the stale loaf. “Now eat.”
You flinch when his fist rears suddenly towards your face, holding the broken bread just in front of your mouth. You blink wildly up at him, features screwed in offense. “…Excuse me?”
“Eat.”
You swat his hand away; it moves scarcely an inch. “I’m not a child—”
“Well, at present, you are behaving remarkably like one,” Ormund argues through a tight jaw. “Now open your mouth.”
You respond with only a glare.
Fury rages through the man’s chest. He wishes wordlessly for the strength of the Mother and the Warrior engraved upon his armor as he offers bitterly, “Or shall I make you?”
You spend a long moment staring up at him with eyes cold enough to freeze wine. You hold his gaze as your mouth parts slowly to accept the chunk of bread he pinches between his thumb and forefinger. He places it upon your tongue with a surprising gentleness, considering the wrath he’d had moments ago.
“Chew,” he commands, glaring down the bridge of his nose at you. Your jaw moves slowly. Ormund nods in approval. “Swallow.”
Your heart lurches into your throat at his order. But you do as you’re told, throat bobbing as the piece of bread goes down. Another piece follows soon after; this time, your lips part before he asks you to do so. Relief crosses over his strong features as he places the food onto your tongue. His shoulders sag with the exhaled breath that it feels like he’s been holding for days.
He looks almost worried for you; relieved, almost, to have fed you. A warm, foreign feeling settles in your chest accordingly.
“I am trying… Very hard to be kind to you,” Ormund confesses, scarred hands twitching at his sides. “So I cannot, for the life of me, understand why you insist on making this so difficult.”
“My letters,” you tell him. “Why aren’t they being sent?”
“The rookery master feared they could be intercepted,” he answers plainly. “I could not risk one falling into enemy hands. I… meant to tell you.”
“When?” you spit.
“When I found a safer way to deliver them.”
A bitter laugh sputters from your mouth. “What curious men you Hightowers are,” you quip with narrowed eyes. “So fond of deciding what sorrows I ought to be spared.”
His brows lower in confusion. “Is that not a kindness?”
His answer lingers between you for several long moments. There was no cleverness in his words, only an honesty that strikes you like a fist to the stomach.
“Aye. I suppose it is,” you answer, clearing your throat when your voice catches.
A strange emotion strangles you, and burns at the back of your eyes as you look down at your dress. Your dull nails pick at a smudge of mud on the fabric that will likely never come off. An embarrassed sort of laugh tumbles from your mouth.
“Perhaps I… I spent so long waiting for someone to hurt me that I no longer remember what kindness is supposed to feel like.”
Ormund nods through a slow exhale from his nose. He glances to the side and walks the short distance to the stool that the table had knocked over in his rage. Your wet eyes follow his form as he walks away and then back to you, setting the chair on the other side of the table. You can feel the warmth radiating from his body, even in the scarce distance between you.
“I’ll admit— A man spends enough time at war, they start to forget that mornings are not meant to begin with fear,” he says, reaching again for the loaf of bread, but this time breaking it in half. “I forget myself, at times, but… if you’ll allow me… I’d very much like to prove to you that I can be kind.”
Your weary features soften around the edges. “Well, I don’t have much of a choice in the matter, do I?” you tell him, with a more sincere smile hinting at the corners of your lips. “I am your prisoner, after all.”
“So you keep insisting,” Ormund quips with his own quiet grin. “But I should rather you thought of yourself as my… responsibility.”
Your heart stumbles a beat. Responsibility felt much safer than hostage, or bargaining piece, or burden. It felt, you’ll admit, like a kindness.
iv. SILK & SWORDS
You fall into a steady routine at the Hightower encampment by the fifth moon of your captivity.
Each morning arrives with the same mournful groan of a warhorn that rolls across the grass green hills before the sun has even broken the horizon. You wake to the distant ringing of hammers against anvils, hounds barking for gristles off the cookfires, and knights shouting for their squires. The first hours were reserved for armorers; the afternoons for drilling knights whose swords cracked together until you could feel them ringing in your skull; and the evenings for songs, laughter, and ale.
Your days, however, remained painfully empty.
Lord Ormund had been kind enough to provide you with greater comforts as the weeks went by — cushioned pillows and heavier woolen blankets for when the nights got colder; sprigs of lavender for your bedside to keep out the stench of man; more parchment and colored ink to busy your hands when the days were especially long. And all of them were especially long. He’d given you his leather-bound prayer book, too, and even though you were not an entirely pious woman, you’d read through it enough times to recite each passage from memory.
The camp has since grown accustomed to your being there, ever since Ormund slackened his metaphorical leash on you — “You’ve had more than ample opportunity to run,” he’d said beneath the scratching of his quill. “Besides, where exactly would you go? No one else would take you.” No one bats an eye when you leave your tent, after three days of relentless rain had finally broken, to pick fresh berries from the brushes along the treeline.
Your crimson silk dress scrubs the dewy evening grass as you collect wild raspberries into a small wooden bowl. The juices stain your fingertips the color of red wine. The sweet scent mixes with the smell of wet earth and mint leaves crushed beneath your slippers. You bend at the waist to parse through tangled brambles, searching for the ripest berries. For the first time in months — years, maybe — you feel almost peaceful.
“Is that a love letter—?”
The voice cuts through the quiet like a blade. Your heart lurches into your throat as you jerk to full height again. The small bowl of berries slips from your grasp and rolls through the wet clover like so many drops of scattered blood. Behind you, you find a vaguely familiar hedgeknight, scarcely ten paces away — made of broad shoulders, broken teeth, and greasy hair that falls to his shoulders.
It takes you an embarrassingly long moment to catch your breath.
“I’m sorry,” you say through a tightening chest. “You… You startled me.”
“Did I?” he hums gruffly, in a voice that borders on amusement.
You cower into the hedgerow behind you as he approaches you, reaching you quickly on much longer limbs. He looms close enough for you to smell the sweat and ale and horse piss on his chainmail, close enough for you to lift your chin to meet his gaze.
His eyes never quite reach yours. They linger, instead, on your chest. “Letter from your lord husband, is it?” he asks, motioning with his head.
Your chin ducks to follow his eyes, where the rough edges of parchment nestled against your chest peek out from your corset. Your hands lift to cover it instinctively. “Yes. It’s a… a letter. From home.”
“Mind if I take a look at it?” he asks, taking another daring step closer. You wince at the sour smell of him. “What does Ser Gwayne write his pretty wife, hm?”
“Please, don’t—”
His hand shoots out. Thick, filthy fingers hook beneath the neckline of your gown, hard enough to stretch the fine silk with an audible crack. You react on pure instinct accordingly, lifting your own hand to strike him before your mind could forbid it.
The sound of your palm colliding with his bearded jaw cracks through the hedgerow like a whip.
His head turns slightly under the blow.
Your breath catches in surprise at yourself.
The back of his hand catches you across the cheek before you can blink. A red-hot pain explodes from your ear to your jaw as your world lurches suddenly sideways. You hit the unforgiving earth below with a huff when the air rushes from your lungs. Coppery blood pools thick on your tongue from where your teeth had cut the inside of your cheek.
“You little cunt—” you hear the man say, right before he catches a fistful of your skirts to pull you back towards him. The fabric screams beneath his hand. The cool evening air strikes your legs all at once when the silk rips up to your thighs.
You kick wildly at the man. Your slipper strikes uselessly against his shoulder. Your fingernails claw muddy furrows through the soaked earth.
“I am— Gwayne Hightower’s wife—” You tell him through panted, fearful breaths. He flips you onto your back by your ankle. Your foot burns beneath his grip. Your head strikes the soaked earth. Through the lack of air in your lungs, you heave, “He will have your head for this—”
“Oh, will he?” the hedge knight laughs with a brown-tooth grin. “‘Cause he ain’t here—”
The hand not holding your squirming ankle reaches for the tie in his trousers.
Then, in a blink, steel sings with a clean rasping sound. Warm blood splashes from your right jaw up to your left temple. For a flicker of a moment, you can’t quite comprehend why — not until the hedge knight kneels suddenly before you, with open eyes that have gone strangely distant. He topples suddenly sideways with his neck bent at an awkward angle, head half cut off and spouting bright red blood.
You blink wildly through the haze of death until you find Ormund standing just behind the corpse, chest rising and falling beneath his heavy armor. His longsword drips crimson onto the grass where your raspberries lie.
Sweat from the long day clings to his dark curls, wetting them against his temples and forehead. Flecks of blood dot his jaw like crimson stars. His blue eyes burn with something fierce, but his voice remains remarkably soft.
“My lady…”
You open your mouth to answer him, but nothing comes out.
Only then do you notice how violently your body is shaking, buzzing with a white-hot fear, as you scan the scene surrounding you — your torn skirts, the blood staining your chest, the dead body at your feet. You stare at the hedge knight’s gushing throat without fully understanding the sight of it.
Ormund reaches you in three long strides. He sheaths his sword without a word before dropping carefully to one knee. He slides one arm under your leg and his other behind your back, hoisting you upward with a pair of strong arms. The scent of blood and earth gives way to the smell of leather, incense, and bathing oils as he cradles you to the broad wall of his chest.
Your trembling hands clench a fistful of the green velvet cape draped along his shoulder.
“You’re safe, my lady,” Ormund murmurs as he carries you back to camp. “You’re safe.”
Your face finds the hollow space between his jaw and collarbone. You’re not entirely sure if you believe the words he speaks, but you know now that you do believe in the man who speaks them.
v. SANCTUARY & SIN
The weeks that followed could be divided into two — the days before the attack and all the days after.
For a time, you startled far too easily. A dropped shield sent you into a panic. A knight laughing too loudly made your pulse skyrocket. And if a pair of bootsteps walked too closely behind you, you lost all your breath before your mind had time to remind your body that no one meant you any harm.
Nights proved harder still. You dreamt of nothing but rough hands and torn silk and crushed berries that smelled so sweet the thought alone made you sick. One moment you were suffocating beneath the sweaty body of a hedge knight, and the next, your canvas door was thrown open while you were choking on a scream.
Ormund stood silhouetted before you, barefoot, with a sword in his naked hand. He’d reached you with haste, after having your pavilion packed up and pitched again not quite twenty paces from his following the attack — “It’ll be easier that way,” he assured you. “If another fool decides to trouble you, I’d rather not have to cross half of Westeros to remove his head.”
His curls were flattened from slumber, his linen shirt unlaced to reveal his broad chest heaving with panic. His sleep-swollen eyes swept every corner of the empty pavilion before they settled finally on you. His steel lowered as he crossed the tent to settle beside you, smoothing a hand up and down your back despite the way your nightgown clung uncomfortably to your sweaty skin.
“We’ll move your bed into my tent,” he’d said. “You’ll sleep there for the time being.”
It was concern disguised as a command. One you could not refuse if you wanted to.
Ormund’s tent was large enough to pass for a modest hall — maps and banners occupied one half, while the other had become something half-resembling living quarters. Your smaller cot was placed opposite his beneath the same sloping canvas roof, separated by little more than a table crowded with candles and books. You would wake occasionally to find Ormund already seated beside the brazier in nothing but a linen shirt, reading dispatches by firelight while occasionally glancing over to see whether you were sleeping soundly.
You pretended that you were, if only to keep on watching him.
But then the late summer storms arrived; and the unforgiving deluge washed over the camp with enough violence to shake the pavilion you slept beneath. Thunder cracked like an explosion closely overhead, and you woke with another frightened gasp before remembering where you were.
Ormund was already awake, as if stirred in knowing that you were scared.
“If you’re frightened…” he murmured from across the darkness. A flash of lightning revealed his blanketed body, and his face half-smushed into his pillow. “I imagine my bed could accommodate two people without either touching the other."
You crossed the space between your cots and climbed beneath his blankets without another word.
You haven’t left his bed since.
The days soon settle into something almost resembling normalcy. Ormund, you find, possesses an absurd fondness for taking care of you — always making sure that you’ve eaten breakfast before he’s started his mornings; delivering his wool blankets to you before you can complain that you’re cold, warming your hands between his calloused palms when he does so; and escorting you through camp with a protective hand splayed along the small of your back.
No one ever cared for you with such deliberate attention before — even Gwayne, as gentle as he was, could only love you from a respectful distance before the war had sent him off. Your husband washed away into memory, into the note left abandoned somewhere on the forest floor.
You did not know whether he still rode beneath banners or if his corpse had been picked clean by crows. You did know, at the very least, that Ormund was here — he was there in the mornings when you woke and each night when old fears crept back into your skin. It was a dangerous thing, you soon realized, to mistake safety for love. Or more dangerous still, to suspect that the two were any different at all.
You watch from Ormund’s bed — freshly bathed beneath your thin ivory slip, with your legs kicking lazily from where you lie on your stomach — as his squire removes pieces of his armor. A sketchbook lies open before you, alongside a collection of colored inks.
“This is what you get for tightening the straps so much,” Ormund hums as Daeron struggles with the final buckle across the man’s broad shoulders.
“Well, you’d like them to remain attached, wouldn’t you?” the boy quips back.
The man smiles despite himself. “You complain more than any squire I've ever met, do you know that?”
“I learned everything from you, did I not?”
When the final piece of armor comes finally free, Ormund dismisses the boy back to his tent. The entrance cover opens and shuts behind the boy, letting in a rush of cool evening air before it closes again. Silence returns to the expansive pavilion, filled only by the crackling of burning candles.
Ormund, left only in his loose dark breeches and a linen undertunic, walks to the round table to pour himself a goblet of wine. “What is occupying you so completely over there?”
“I’m hard at work,” you answer vaguely.
“So I see.” He eyes you carefully over the glugging of the flagon. A faint, unreadable flicker crosses his face. “Writing to Gwayne, are you?”
“No,” you sigh. “I’m drawing you.”
You set the quill into the inkpot and lift the sketchbook to face the man with a girlish grin, which seems to be becoming more and more frequent as the days go by. Ormund’s light eyes squint to study the page. It was unmistakably him drawn in the ink, though perhaps only if one was exceedingly charitable. The proportions are all wrong: his nose is too large, his mouth is too small, one eye sits higher than the other, and he’s missing his left brow.
His eyes flick to meet yours again. “…Is that intended to be me?” he asks, motioning with the goblet in his fist.
“Of course,” you shrug like it’s obvious.
“Well,” he sighs, raising the cup to his mouth. “I had no idea that I resembled that of a rotting turnip.”
You gasp in faux-offense that’s soon overcome by a fit of laughter. “It is not that bad!”
“My lady…” Ormund huffs sympathetically, abandoning his ale to saunter slowly towards the bed. “This could be considered treason— I should confiscate this immediately."
“You shall do no such thing,” you tease.
“Oh really?” he croons, brows raised in amusement.
He lunges for you in an instant. You jerk back onto your haunches with a squeal, cradling the sketchbook to your chest. You dodge each of his attempts to take it with a girlish gracelessness, laughing harder with each of his failed attempts. Ormund smiles at the sound without realizing it, dropping the table of ink to the rug below before clambering onto the bed to follow you.
One final tug sends the book flying across the bed, and the two of you go to reach for it at the same time. The momentum carries you forward until you land clumsily against his chest, knocking the breath out of him as his back hits the mattress, with you squarely on top of him.
It takes you a long moment to realize your precarious position — your chest brushing his beneath your thin slip, noses nearly touching, breaths nearly entwining. Your laughter fades first, but you still do not move. Ormund’s smile flickers, but his hands lift to rest lightly along the arms you use to prop up your weight on top of him.
You can feel each of his warm breaths fan against your chin. You could get drunk on the ale stained on his mouth from the proximity between you alone. Closer by an inch or two and you would taste it on his lips.
“We ought not,” Ormund murmurs lowly, as if he can read your mind.
“Ought what?”
“This,” he answers. His blue eyes flick briefly in the space separating your mouths. “You are another man’s wife. My cousin’s wife.”
You swallow hard at the mention of Gwayne. It had been far easier to forget him, in truth. “I have not seen my husband in nearly a year,” you reply in a small voice. “I do not even know whether he yet lives…”
Pain etches in Ormund's strong features before disappearing behind his usual practiced restraint. His hands tremble with the urge to smooth away the frown between your brows, but he does not allow himself the satisfaction.
“I swore on oath to protect you,” he says. “To serve you in my cousin’s absence.”
You, without possessing a similar self-control, lift a hand to brush a wild curl from his temple. “And do you intend to keep that promise, Lord Ormund?”
He nods against the mattress. “Of course I do.”
“Okay then…” you hum as a smile tugs slowly at one corner of your mouth. “Then serve me.”
You duck down to close the distance between you without a second thought. The tip of your nose grazes the strong bridge of his as you press your lips to his chapped ones, nothing more than an experimental brushing of your mouths. You go to pull away just as quickly as you came, and whatever restraint Ormund had had before vanishes in an instant.
He lifts his head from the tousled blankets to chase your mouth, cradling your neck with a wide hide to draw you back into him again. The second kiss lands with none of the careful uncertainty of the first. This one is slower, deeper, and far more languid. His tongue licks into your mouth, tasting of wine and the mint leaves he always chews after supper. You sigh through your nose to savor it, melting further into his chest.
Your mouths move together with an awkward sort of tenderness, learning one another by the second. Ormund kisses you far rougher than Gwayne ever did — it’s all tongue and teeth and spit, as if he were committing the taste of you to memory: the meat from your supper, the berry from your tea; the guilt from your broken vows, the relief of being found after believing yourself long abandoned.
Your breath catches in your throat when Ormund suddenly takes charge, urging you onto your back with his mouth still on yours. He pulls off you with a quiet smack, wearing your spit on his rosy mouth like gloss.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asks with heavy eyes that dart back and forth between your glassy ones.
You shake your head against the cushions beneath you, features twisting with a pained look at the thought of stopping now.
“Do you understand what will follow? What… vows both of us will be breaking?”
Your eyes glisten as they dance between his blue ones. “The war broke those vows,” you tell him, half-breathless. “Not us.”
Ormund nods wordlessly for a moment, pleased with your answer. “Then open,” he says.
Your mouth parts for him on instinct. He lifts his middle and pointer finger to your lips, wetting them on your tongue, before sliding them in between your bodies. His hand disappears beneath the skirt of your slip. Your head tips back when you feel his fingertips sliding between your velvety folds, brushing your clit before sinking into your waiting cunt.
Your sigh fills the quiet tent, accompanied by the low groan in the back of Ormund’s throat.
“You’re softer than I imagined…” he confesses, almost to himself.
“Imagining me a lot, are you?” you tease on bated breath.
“Yes,” he answers without missing a beat. “I dreamt of how your cunt would wrap around me… of how you’d soak the sheets… of what noise you’d make when I moved my fingers like this—”
A whine catches in your throat when he crooks his fingers just so, nestling the fatty part of his palm flat against your clit. Your hips buck into his hand despite yourself. Your exhaled whine is half-drowned beneath his breathy chuckle.
“There it is…” he praises.
“Fuck me,” you plead, face crumpling under the weight of your need. One hand twists in his hair, while your other fists in his thin white tunic to keep him close. You only vaguely realize how little you sound like yourself as you plead: “I need it so bad, Ormund, please, fuck me—”
The man goes dizzy at the sound of your begging, as if he brought you into his camp, his tent, his bed, to do anything other than serve you.
His fingers glitter with your slick when he drags them out of your cunt. He brings them to his nose, nostrils flaring slightly as he inhales the scent of your musk upon them. You whine at the sight of it — half-disgusted, half-intrigued. You watch with heavy eyes when he brings the same hand into his trousers to fist his half-hard cock fully stiff for you.
It’s a mess of tangled limbs for a moment, as you drag his shirt gracefully from his torso while he attempts to free himself from his breeches. He’s made of tanned skin, toned muscles, and a dusting of auburn hair from his sternum to his stomach. It grows more dense at the root of his cock — which is not quite as long as Gwayne’s, but thicker still and adorned with more prominent veins.
Ormund works himself hard with his fist; the reddened head of his cock leaks pearly drops every time his hand moves upwards. Your mouth waters for a taste. You let him smear it along the folds of your cunt instead.
You curl your arms under his broad arms to splay your hands along his shoulder blades. They flex slightly under your touch as he leans down over you. You tense on instinct when he pierces you with the tip of his cock. “Shh, shh, shh,” he soothes lowly, fighting back his own grunt as you spread so perfectly around him.
He sinks slowly into you, slow enough for you to feel every vein and ridge of his cock as he mounts you until his hips are flush with yours. Your mouth parts. He ducks down to kiss you before a moan tumbles out, swallowing the pretty sound with his mouth.
He stays still against you for several long, agonizing moments. Your hips buck against his in anticipation. “Please move,” you whine, digging crescent shapes into his shoulders with your nails. “I need you so much, please—”
Ormund’s jaw clenches tight. “Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve been inside another woman?”
Your face screws. “I’d rather not hear about your previous exploits at the moment—”
“Don’t,” Ormund spits, shuddering on top of you when you roll your hips into his once more. He grasps your thigh hard enough to dig bruises into the plush skin with the hand not holding himself up beside your head. His light eyes turn glacial in an instant, darting wildly between both of yours. “I won’t… I won’t last…” he confesses.
Your eyes soften around the edges with a faux innocence. “This isn’t going to be the last time you fuck me, is it?”
The crude word falls so effortlessly from your pristine mouth that it makes his cock jerk within your drooling confines. “I don’t want it to be. No,” he answers, half-shy.
“Then I don’t care how long you last,” you assure him with a lazy grin. “You have kept me hostage for nearly a year— Surely, I’m entitled to make some use of my captor while the realm delays the war, am I not?”
Ormund’s resolve crumbles under your permission. He rolls his hips forward and back again, never quite pulling all the way out of you. He groans quietly when you clench around the sensitive head of his cock; and you swallow down a whimper when the coarse hair below his stomach rubs mercilessly along your sensitive clit.
Your head tips back. He falls to the hollow space between your neck and shoulder.
Ormund’s open-mouthed breaths fan warm along your burning skin as he stumbles into a graceless rhythm, thrusting hard enough to make the wooden frame of his bed squeak quietly beneath you.
The pressure on your clit is relentless. You squirm underneath his sweat-slick body, chasing and running from the pleasure all at once. “I know. I know. It’s okay,” you hear him slur against your skin. “Just take it. Just fuckin’ take it— Fuck—” His voice breaks like splintered glass.
He tenses suddenly above you, taut muscles trembling. You hear his breath catch for a moment, right before a foreign warmth pools in the very pit of your stomach. He groans in time with his release, heavying his weight further against you.
You aren’t far behind.
He grinds his hips lazily to ride out his high, smothering your sensitive clit as the warm, wet, sticky feeling continues to bloom inside of you. “Ormund—” you gasp, tensing beneath him.
“There it is…”the man praises as you tremble underneath him, smearing his lips against your jaw until they reach your parted mouth. “There it is— Fuck, that’s it,look at me.”
Your eyes snap open at his command, bleary and heavy-lidded. You ride out the rest of your orgasm with your gaze locked with his glassy one.
The honeyed moment doesn’t last nearly as long as either of you would’ve liked.
“My lord?”
The two of you sober in a flash as the spell between you shatters. Ormund stills suddenly above you, as if pierced by steel. The warmth flees from his features at once, replaced by the hard composure of the commander of House Hightower. You, too, freeze where you lay beneath him — pulse thrumming hard in your throat as the muffled voice drifts once more through the pavilion.
“My lord—”
“Yes, Daeron,” Ormund spits through gritted teeth, nostrils flaring as he breathes through the rage searing in his chest. “What is it?”
The squire hesitates at his uncle’s harsh tone. “Forgive me for the intrusion, my lord…” the boy says carefully, hidden behind the covered entrance. “But a messenger arrived from the river road. He bears urgent word from Ser Criston’s camp.”
You feel your stomach sink — or, perhaps, it’s only the mixture of cum seeping out of your still fluttering confines, soaking the sheets beneath you. You feel unspeakably dirty now, and the lack of regret only deepens the feeling.
Ormund remains motionless above you for a moment before sitting back on his haunches. You shiver at the absence of his warmth, and wince slightly when his softening cock slips out of you. “A letter?” he calls to the entrance, brows lowered. “What news?”
“It is sealed, my lord,” Daeron says. “The messenger said it was to be opened by our hand alone.”
Ormund’s confusion deepens. “And who sends it?”
After another brief hesitation, the voice answers solemnly: “Ser Gwayne, my lord.”
Have you ever seen the Hightower at Oldtown, Ser Criston? Ormund and I had a game, to "run the tower." You'd start at the base before dawn and aim to be the first one to see the sun rise from the beacon. Of course, I let him win. He was a thin-skinned twat even then.
summary: he doesn't mess around when it comes to the light of his life (established relationship)
author's note: new obsession, so yk what's up, gotta write a fic abt it. One back and forth discussion with my sister, and we have this masterpiece. You're welcome.
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Music. Or rather, vibrations. Bass was pummelling through her body like a speeding truck. The thing they didn't tell you about college parties was that the music was always shit. Either some newly released rap song blaring on the speaker, or an EDM that she had come to memorise from hearing so many times. Every now and then, when a good song played, everyone seemed to enjoy their time a little more. Today was that exception.
In all honesty, the party wasn't even supposed to happen. But the end of the semester blessed the hockey boys with a reasonable excuse to round up whatever beers and alcohol they could find, let the word travel around campus and get everyone drunk as a final hurrah.
The jello shots were flowing through her veins, loosening her muscles just enough to feel alright about dancing. It was her and Allie between the mess of bodies in the living room. Their hands were intertwined as to not be lost amongst the people. They moved against each other. Drunken sways that she didn't entirely process.
John was in the kitchen, leaning against the edge of the island. Red solo cup in hand, backwards cap doing things to her mind that she couldn't entirely put into words as he talked to Garrett easily. She knew one thing, though. His mind could've been invested in whatever conversation they were having, but his eyes? Yeah, they were on her. When their eyes met, an easy grin lifted onto his face. Pride dripped off his teeth as he smiled into the cup, dark eyes following her as she moved around Allie. Mischief gleamed in her eyes. He quirked a brow.
That was their thing. It didn't matter where they were or who was around them; they'd find each other from across the room. If he were in a match and happened to catch her gaze in a crowd of cheering peers after a wicked goal, John would lower his head, even if it was the most minuscule amount, and raise a brow in her direction. You see me, baby? She'd smile in return. I see you, baby.
Allie's scoff from beside her broke her gaze away from John. "My god," She said jokingly, "You two are so sweet, it makes me want to throw up"
A laugh escaped her throat. She raised her hand, bringing Allie's along with it to gently spin her. "You're one to talk, Allie-cat. From what I hear, Di Laurentis is fitting into the boyfriend tag pretty well"
"Why not just ask Logan to be your boyfriend already? You two are practically married"
Her lips fell into a quiet pout as she shrugged. "We just...don't like the titles. And you know how it is with the hockey boys. Asking him to be my boyfriend is basically popping the question"
The music had seemingly slowed all together, something the couples would enjoy swaying to. She and Allie remained on the floor, talking quietly. Though she spoke, her words seemed to float away with a gust of misplaced wind. Her mind had begun to scatter upon the mention of 'boyfriends'. Allie's smile widened at the sudden dreamy look in her eyes.
Y/n was never one to date around. Not because she didn't want to. Because she was saving it -the love, the chase, the fall, and the complete and utter infatuation- for the one. She made that fact known to anyone she met, and soon the people around her seemed to understand that fact as well. She wasn't like 'that'. Then she met Allie and Hannah while she was working part-time at Malone's for a semester. Steadily, one party invite led to another, and that was how she found herself intertwined with John Logan. He was her brief break from ramrod-straight morals. Somehow, through the long hours of practice she'd sit through for the sake of being near him, the countless study sessions where he'd mindlessly remain by her side in the library, and the endless hours they'd spent talking at night long after they were meant to go to bed, John Logan had found a way around the set rules she had for herself, and crept into the crude little spaces of her heart with an ease she found difficult to understand.
"Just do it," Allie said after a while. "The guy's head over heels for you. I doubt he'd say no"
They laughed it off like any other time. Maybe she would, if the opportunity arose. And for a while after, everything seemed to be floating. The liquor had absorbed into her bloodstream, giving her just enough of a buzz that it was enjoyable. It seemed she was not the only one who was feeling it.
The joy was too brief. It all happened before she could really think. A hand began to snake around her waist. When she glanced over at the kitchen, John was still there with Garrett. The foreign touch drew a reaction from her that was so immediate it felt as though her soul had left behind her material body. She lurched forward, letting go of Allie's hand to strip the hand from her torso. There must've been a look of terror on her face because Allie's smile dropped.
As soon as she spun around, a huff of sour breath passed over her face. The eyes that stared back at her were entirely new. "C'mon, Doll. Dance with me, you know you want to"
"Call me that again and see what happens." Her voice was low, barely above a whisper. But it was the quietest creatures that were the most dangerous.
Allie held onto her wrist, staring wide-eyed between her friend and the man in front of her.
He huffed a laugh, raising his hands in mock surrender. But she knew guys like him. They were never ones to back off that easily. His eyes would continue to trace the lines of her body, leaving a trail of dirt down the skin she would scrub meticulously later. Intoxication was clear in his dilated pupils. He certainly didn't look like one of the regulars who stumbled into the hockey house's parties. Probably just came for the free booze and the ladies. If he was a regular, he wouldn't have tried what he did. Not with her anyway.
His hands had fallen from the surrender, and they were reaching towards her again. "Don't be like that, Doll-"
The words hadn't even formed in the air before she grabbed the front of his shirt between the balls of her fist, pushing him back. His leg caught the back of the coffee table, and he fell like a log. There was a large hollow echo. The alcohol certainly wasn't doing him any favours.
"Get the fuck off of me or get the fuck out" The voice that came out of her mouth sounded far different from her own. It cut through the air, leaving a visible mark.
Allie's soft voice rang in her ear. "Y/n..." It sounded far away, like her head was underwater.
That's when she realised the music had stopped. Everyone was frozen in their positions, all of them having turned in the direction of the commotion. Her direction. No one said a word. No one made a move. And yet the trepidation that crept up was undeniable. If was as if the universe was telling her something was wrong, but instead of a soft nudge, her whole body was being whipped around. Her neck was growing hot, the heat slowly spreading up to her face.
Normally, she wouldn't care much for the attention. Hell, she was supposed to care less because she was a little drunk. What did it matter? Guys could be weirdos, and the sound of such commotion had become such a usual thing that it no longer drew the attention that it used to. But doubt flooded the back of her mind. What if I was wrong? What if I overreacted?
John's face suddenly came into view. His brows were cinched tightly like he was looking at a car's engine, trying to figure out what the problem was. His hand rose to her cheek. "Baby, what's wrong? What's going on?"
She couldn't find the words. It felt like tiny needles were continuously poking at her skin wherever he touched. Something stood between the echo of his voice and her ear drum. Nothing felt like it was fully there.
Garrett had joined them in the living room, having picked the guy off the floor by his collar like he was a rowdy cat. "Come on. Get up, fella" His grip was as firm as his voice, eyes narrowed as they pointed down at the guy.
The mortification seemed to only grow as the seconds pass. Feeling was beginning to return to her hands and feet. Little stopped her from staying here, but a lot stopped her from bolting. Allie was still holding her wrist. John was blocking the way to the front door, and she knew it'd be useless trying to get past him without an explanation.
Garrett's gaze flickered between her and the guy. "What'd you do to her?"
"What I did to her?" He repeated in a tone of amazement, "I didn't do nothing, man! I was trying to show her a good time and the crazy bitch pushed me over!"
The blur only seemed to intensify then. Maybe it was the build up of tears in her eyes or her brain simply beginning to shut down, but everything seemed to be too slow. All she could make out was John rushing the guy, taking him off Garrett's hands.
If there was shouting, she couldn't hear it. John took him by the neck, dragging him out the front door before tossing him off the porch.
"No, no, no..." She muttered under her breath. Whatever was keeping her inside seemed to disappear in an instant. She carefully shrugged off Allie's hand, shoving past the crowd that was beginning to gather by the door. The air was like a shock of cold water. The sight in front of her was the ice that ran down her shirt.
John was hunched over the guy, the white ball of shirt in his hands stretching so much that it was beginning to rip. His other hand was in the air, reeling back to send another punch to the guy's face. The moon lit up the scene like a spotlight. And beneath the gleaming blades of grass, crimson blood coloured the front lawn in delicate specks. It almost looked staged how perfectly everything fell. John's fist hit the guy's face once more, causing another round of splattering to join the army that had begun to form. Her feet moved themselves. She stumbled far enough down the stairs to get a better look at the guy's face. There was little reminiscent of his strange eyes and unfamiliar structure os his features. His nose now had an uncomfortable bend in the middle. Broken, no doubt. The sight made the uneasiness in her stomach grow.
"Yeah? Call her a bitch one more time. Do it!" His roaring voice split the fuzz that had grown over her ears. It wasn't the same soft voice that was speaking to her moments ago. The flames, once so calm and easy, now roared with a fierceness that almost frightened her.
It took seconds for Garrett and Dean to rush past her on the porch. They were quick to pull John off the guy but the damage was already done. There was a man on their front lawn, bruised and bloodied.
After that, everything seemed to blend together. She wasn't outside much longer, having been pulled back into the house by Allie, and a shaken Hannah who was following behind her. Tucker kicked everyone out, managing to find the guy's friends who seemed less than surprised at the sight of their friend. With a promise to take him home, peace had somewhat returned to the house. Or at least the little peace they had managed to salvage.
"What the hell was that?" Dean breathed as soon as the last person left the house.
Allie looked at her for a second before noting she was in no state to speak. The hot embarrassment was still evident by her red cheeks, but there was also something else. She explained everything, sparing a glance to her friend every now and again to make sure she was still standing.
A moment of silence passed. No one knew how to react.
The tension only grew when her voice broke the surface. "Where's John?"
Garrett looked at her sympathetically. "He went upstairs. Look, y/n, I'd give him a minute to cool down-"
She was already half-way up the stairs by the time he finished his words. The door to the shared bathroom was ajar. The furious rush of the sink running told her he was right behind there.
When she pushed the door open gently, John was in front of the sink, running his busted knuckles under the running water. A grimace lay under his hardened expression, the one she had come to learn and peel back. Wordlessly, she closed the door behind her, reaching to turn the water off.
The pain in his eyes seemed to fade when she gently grabbed his hand. Her eyes ran over the split skin around his knuckles from the barrage of punches. She'd seen many of his hockey injuries before -nasty bruises, split lips, scrapes, tears- but this one felt different. She was the reason for it. Guilt built up like a ball in her throat. Though her chest was moving, little air entered her lungs. A low hiss escaped from his gritted teeth as she barely brushed a finger over the wounds.
"Sit down" She whispered, "We should clean it out before we wrap you up"
Rummaging through their tiny medicine cabinet, she found a half-evaporated bottle of alcohol that would work. He'd positioned himself on the edge of the bathtub. She gently took his hand once more, savouring the warmth that spread through her fingers that had become freezing from the blood that was rushing to her head. With a clean rag she found on the rag, she began carefully dabbing at the wound. Most of the blood had been washed off, but a redness still lingered from the exposed flesh. It was hard to control her face. Every time she'd touch the wound, a sharp pain would spike in her own knuckles. As if she were feeling it.
Her eyes would flicker up to his face every now and then. They'd watch his eyes, searching every crevice to find the winces he was hiding. A crease would form between his brows whenever he did. It was small, but it was something she'd taken note of. When his frown deepened, she sighed.
"You don't have to pretend with me, tough guy" She muttered. The attempt at being light-hearted seemed to fall on a half-hearted laugh.
John looked up at her. His uninjured hand caressed the back of her thigh. "I'm sorry about tonight, baby"
"There's nothing to be sorry about, Johnny" She furrowed.
When she continued to dab at his knuckles, he stopped her gently, taking the rag away before setting it down on the counter. Just as he had done earlier that night, he cupped her cheek, forcing her to meet his eyes.
"Did he hurt you? If he did, I'm getting other people involved. Hell, I'll go file a police report..."
Her hand rested on top of his. "No. No, he didn't hurt me. I just...freaked out. I was drunk, and I had no idea what I was doing. I pushed him off, but I think I overreacted. I don't know"
At her admission, John immediately stood, dark, furrowed eyes scanning her face like he was looking for a lost treasure. "This isn't your fault, baby"
"But it is," She started, frustration beginning to build in her tone. "If I hadn't lost my temper on that guy, maybe he would've just left me alone. Maybe none of this would've happened at all, and maybe there'd still be a party downstairs where people were actually enjoying themselves, and you wouldn't be hurt right now"
"This is nothing, y/n. I've gotten worse injuries," He argued.
"That's not the point. The point is that I wasn't thinking straight, and I ruined it for everyone"
John shook his head. "Don't say that. I don't care if someone accidentally bumped into you, or touched you by accident, or insulted you on purpose. Whatever happens, you handle it the way you think should be handled. And if you don't want to deal with it, you come to me, and I'll deal with it for you, okay?"
She was silent for a long while, just staring up at him with her eyes still glossy with tears. Her heart was rapping at her chest with desperate knocks. All these months and he still managed to make her heart pound. A small smile broke on her face. "Maybe Allie was right."
"About what?"
"About how I'm completely in love with you"
A huff of laughter left his lips as he pressed them to the corner of her mouth. "I don't need someone to know that."
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stop looking for validation. there isn’t even a "you" to be validated, and there isn’t an "other" to give it.
every time you ask, "is it working?" or "did i shift yet?" or "am i doing this right?" you are creating a division where there is none. you are hallucinating a gap between the awareness that you are and the experience that is currently playing out.
validation is for someone who thinks they are separate from the world. it’s for the character, not the actor. if you are the screen on which the entire movie is playing, what could possibly happen to you? what could you possibly lack?
the hunger for validation is just the ego trying to survive by getting a pat on the back from a dream character. it’s absurd. you are the source. you don’t need the mirror to tell you that you’re beautiful, or the 3d to tell you that you’ve arrived, because the mirror, the 3d, and the "you" looking at them are all made of the same stuff.
stop acting like a tourist in your own reality. you aren't "getting" anywhere. you aren't "shifting" to something else. everything is appearing in you. when you drop the desperate need to be confirmed by a dream, you finally stop pretending you’re limited.
you are the only thing that is real. everything else is just smoke. stop trying to find your reflection in the mirror; you’re the light behind it.
When he first met you he thought you didn’t like him. He’d seen how you acted around Hannah and Allie when you thought nobody was paying attention. You talked and smiled and laughed. But once he was around, you were quiet. You didn’t seem flustered, just uninterested (which was wrong, it was both anxiety and your fat crush on him).
It was what peaked his interest. He thought you were gorgeous obviously, but your lack of interest in him was what made him determined to either, a) find out why you didn’t like him, or b) change your mind about him. He definitely didn’t expect to fall in love with you.
He needs to have a hand on you in public. Whether it’s holding your hand or simply resting his on your waist or on your thigh, he’s always there.
Even when you tell him you’re completely fine, he still feels better knowing it would be a comfort if something did cause you a bit of anxiety.
He never treats you like you’re fragile. When you first explained to him your anxiety and how it affected you, he was overly worried about everything. Constantly checking in at parties, whispering in your ear when someone you barely knew was talking to you, etc.
You had to tell him you would be fine and he didn’t need to worry, but he would just tell you, “I know you can handle it, but I want you to be more than just fine.”
He pushes you but never forces you. When you start second guessing something because your anxiety told you it would go wrong, he’s the first to try talking you back into it. But if you’re really against it, he’s also the first to assure you that it’s always okay to back out.
He started learning your silent signals. The way you stopped trying to engage in a conversation when you wanted to leave, the way your eyes widened subtly when you had something you wanted to add in the conversation but couldn’t find the right moment to do so.
Obviously he couldn’t read your mind, but he tried his best to help you out. Sometimes it was giving you an ‘in’ to the conversation (without pointing it out), sometimes it was making up an excuse for you to leave. And whenever you thanked him, he brushed it off as “boyfriend duties.”
He loved how different you were when it was just him. It was a selfish thought that he felt guilty for, but he just couldn’t help it. Around others (and him in the beginning) you seem shy and sweet, but once you were alone and comfortable, you were an entirely different person.
You weren’t afraid to put him in his place or to take control. Just the difference in how you carried yourself was enough to give Dean a raging hard-on.
He’s always your biggest cheerleader. Showing you off to everyone he can, bragging about your accomplishments and how funny and smart and pretty you are, posting you all the time. He wants you—along with everybody else—to know just how much he loves you.
masterlist
note ᥫ᭡.ִֶָ𓂃 i wrote this based on how my anxiety is so it may not be completely accurate to everyone else's experiences!! anyway i think dean would be so good with a gf with social anxiety but i do think some things would need to be told to him because it's so different from how he is naturally yk?? like not straight up saying "she has something to say" ...u gotta work it into the convo bud
ormund hightower x wife!reader, mom figure!reader & daeron targaryen
cw: spoilers for ep 4!!, found family trope, reader thinks of daeron as her own, tension, religious themes, slight manipulation, fluff fluff, motherly reader!!, hurt/comfort, reader is very protective of daeron, emotional distress, quarelling, ormund does love his wife, petnames (my love, sweetheart, sweetling), (2.7kw).
synopsis: A child doesn't need to come from the womb to weave his way into your heart. Your husband knows as much.
a/n: this was a wip since the second episode sitting in my drafts, and now with episode four out, it sparked me to continue it! i love daeron so much, and so does reader. they're a dysfunctional family, but they make it work! guys this piece is very dear to me okay it's my baby i love it so much.
"From King Aemond."
"King?" You frown, looking at the young squire for confirmation, which he gives with a slow nod of his head.
"Yes, my lady," Daeron says, brows pinching, mimicking your bewilderment. "The messenger said so himself when he delivered the letter to Lord Ormund."
You huff, the news rattling you a bit, sighing as if the weight of what must've transpired back in King's Landing is already heavy to carry. "Gods helps us all."
Daeron's expression turns sympathetic as he sees your mood sour, prompting you to step closer, one hand moving to brush his cheek as you speak, your tone hushed but warm. "Don't give me that look," you scold, but it contradicts the softness of your touch and tone. "There's nothing to worry about." Your thumb smooths over his cheekbone, motherly and reassuring, as you always do when he's putting others' emotions onto his own young shoulders. "Ormund will know what to make of it."
"As always."
Both of you perk up at the familiar voice, watching as your husband enters the tent through the flaps, one eyebrow raised as he assesses the scene, eyes narrowing at the sight of your hand cradling Daeron's cheek, jaw clenching minutely. "Such matters are not for wives," he shoots you a look, "or squires," his voice dips to a firmer tone as he glances at Daeron, "to worry about." Ormund closes the flap behind him before continuing, seeking privacy. "Or talk behind their hands like gossiping mongrels where I cannot hear."
You feel Daeron tense beneath your hand, and your thumb brushes his cheek to soothe, huffing as you hold your husband's gaze. "The boy was just relaying information to me, which I am grateful for." Daeron relaxes under your touch, which makes you hum, sneaking him a small smile before turning your gaze back to Ormund. "As any squire would."
"He is my squire."
"I borrowed him," you counter, lifting your chin, not backing down.
"You cannot borrow someone's squire. It is unheard of."
"And yet you are hearing about it now. Novelties are common during wartime, are they not?"
The corner of Ormund's lips twitches for one moment at your audacity before he scoffs, eyes narrowed as he holds your gaze enough to let you know this will not be the end of this conversation. It sends a shiver down your spine.
"So they say," he responds, stepping closer, motioning with one hand towards the flap of the tent. "Go see what that beast of yours is doing, won't you? There are matters I must discuss with Lady Hightower." Ormund's tone is firm, brooking no argument as he waits for Daeron to obey, the young boy nodding curtly, before turning to do the same to you, albeit a touch more reverent.
"My lord, my lady."
You smile, thumb tracing his cheek once more before he moves, letting your hand fall to your side, watching as he makes haste towards the tent's exit.
The silence he leaves behind is thick for a heartbeat, two, before it is broken by your husband's voice. "You coddle him incessantly," he reprimands, face scrunching in distaste, as if such a thing offended him personally. "Petting him like a cat and cooing at him as if he were but a babe."
Being a touch theatrical has always been one of your husband's most endearing traits, and one of his most daunting, as you sometimes remind him, to his annoyance. You will never admit that poking at that certain flaw of his tickles you greatly, just as it does now.
"He is young," you combat, "and this is his first ever war. A gentle touch would do him well."
"Too gentle of a touch will soften him overmuch and he will not be fit to fight alongside me, as is his duty," your husband counters, tone resolute as he takes slow, measured steps towards you, eyes narrowed, jaw clenched. "You know this."
And you did. The importance of coming out victorious was paramount to your husband, his house, and his cause. Seating the rightful heir on the Iron Throne was the one thing that mattered most, and Ormund was hellbent on seeing it through to the end, by any means necessary.
"I am aware," your tone softens, sighing as you reach for him, hand touching his cheek as you did Daeron, but the difference was stark in the way you offered your affection, thumbing at the cut of his cheekbone with intent, leaning in until your breaths mingled. Ormund frowned, knowing you were trying to appease him, but didn't pull away, instead leaning into your touch, tilting his head into the cradle of your palm, eyes boring into yours. “But someone has to soften the rigour you instill in him, husband, for he shall not be cruel, but just, even in times of war.”
“Being just is not enough,” he protests again, and you can feel his jaw tighten beneath your hand, which you try to soothe with soft swipes of your thumb along the bone, a touch that he welcomes, despite the turmoil in his gaze. “If one needs to be heartless, then the Gods have willed it so.”
Your brows pinch together, the urge to try and make your husband see reason slowly curdling into something acrid. “Since when have the Gods willed a young boy to cruelty, Ormund?” Your tone is no longer soft nor warm, sharpening at the mere thought of Daeron being made into something he was not meant to be. “Is this what the Seven Pointed Star had taught us all these years?”
Ormund’s eyes widen for a fraction, the use of his name in such a cadence from you and the sting of your words halting his breath. He knew how fiercely protective you were of the boy, like a lioness with its cub, even if not yours by womb. Now it was his turn to try and bring back the sweetness in your tone, for he shall never admit it, but having his wife cross with him was a fate he did not particularly enjoy.
“My love,” he murmured, and tried not to react when he saw your expression pinch even more at the fond moniker. “Sometimes, in the midst of war, we cannot abide by all that The Faith has taught us, no matter how much we wish to grace the Gods with our deeds.” Ormund took a breath, trying not to get irritated when your pretty face didn’t soften an inch. “And that boy is fated to sit The Iron Throne, for his blood is pure, and not savage, and his teachings are proper, and not the stuff of legends long past.”
Sit the Iron Throne.
You took a step back, recoiling from your husband as if burned, the warmth of your touch no longer on his cheek as you whispered, mortified. “Sit the Iron Throne?”
Such plans were news to you, for Aemond was to be the rightful heir now that Aegon was gone. But it seems your husband’s ideals reached further than you could’ve ever conjured up yourself. Was it because Aemond was to be sent to Harrenhal? Did your husband believe Rhaenyra’s forces would slay Vhagar and thus leave the throne with no one to occupy it?
“No,” you said, resolute, fingers starting to tremble as you curled them into fists at your side. “I will not have my boy thrown into that den of vipers that we’ve tried so hard to keep him safe from.”
Ormund’s chest rattled with the deep breath he took, as if preparing himself for the onslaught of your dissatisfaction to come. “He is not—”
“Don’t you dare!” Your tone was sharp as steel, voice rising, all pretence gone now that your husband had braved to utter those words to you, knowing how much they would chip at your tender heart. “You know just as well as I that Daeron is more mine than anyone else’s. I have raised him since he was a babe—”
“And you have done so valiantly, my dear, but—” Ormund tries to soothe, but the bitter taste in your mouth from his words is more pungent than anything he could say to save himself from your wrath.
“Do not patronise me so!”
Your chest is heaving, and you feel those damnable pinpricks behind your eyes, moisture dampening your lash line, tears slowly forming, as if already feeling the grief of losing one of the things you cherish most. “King’s Landing is a wretched place, devoid of honour and swarming with enemies, and you want to send our—”
Our son.
But you stop, chin wobbling, not daring to say such a thing now, knowing it will do no good, and only make your husband protest further.
The sweetest boy, who hid his chubby little face into your skirts and clung to them when nightmares came at night, is now sentenced to a life you know he does not wish for. You can already feel your stomach churning with trepidation just at the thought, your gaze unwavering despite the tears brimming in your eyes to shoot daggers at your husband, who stays unmoving before you, looking equal parts irritated and unsure of how to proceed in the face of such strong emotions.
“I cannot, Ormund,” you whisper, voice breaking around the edges. “I shall not let you make a scheme of my boy just to fuel your own ambitions.”
You expect your husband to protest, to scream and rage and rip the very tent you’re in apart in his hands, but he does none of those things. Instead, he watches you, as calculated as he’s ever been, as if devising a plan to turn your sorrow into something for his own gain, or so you think.
What you do not anticipate is for Ormund to sigh, long and suffering, before walking towards you, lessening the distance between your bodies until his sword hilt bumps against your hip. “Do you believe that I am doing this solely for my own gain, my love?”
And you want to argue that, yes, you are certain of such things, for your husband was never one to not think of himself or his family first and foremost. But you don’t get to verbalise that, Ormund’s voice, softer than before, carrying that tone which could melt the marrow of your bones in mere seconds, but now, your impending grief is too great, your sorrow hardening you too much for such mellowness so quick.
“I do it for us,” he says, tilting his head to the side, bringing your faces closer, noses almost brushing. “For our legacy. For the future of House Hightower, which is now in ruins given the death of Otto and the usurpation of the King.”
You wish to protest, but your husband does not let you, sensing the argument on the tip of your tongue before it forms, a habit he picked up after more than a decade by your side, knowing you inside and out.
“Ascending Daeron to the throne will grant us power beyond our imagination, and allow the boy to live in a world of his own making.” The words are just and sound, but they do not go through you; the image of your sweet Daeron sitting upon that blasted throne full of swords and lies is too heavy on your heart.
“He will be in grave danger,” you croak, tears brimming along your lash line, slowly slipping down warm cheeks. “People will seek to harm him, to demand favours he’s not ready to offer, to—”
“And I will be in his shadow, making sure none of that comes to fruition,” Ormund says, tone brooking no argument, his gaze holding yours, willing you to see the seriousness of the matter. “If anyone dares to conspire against our boy, I will have their heads before they can draw their next breath. You have my word, sweet wife.”
Our boy.
You draw in a trembling, wet breath, your husband’s words breaking your heart and putting it back together in one fell swoop, a quiet, choked sob parting your lips as you try to utter a word back, anything to dismantle Ormund’s words, but you cannot.
“Oh, my love,” he coos, and it does not sound as condescending as it should’ve, as Ormund would pity those around him who show weakness. No, not with you. He wouldn’t dare make a spectacle of your tender, caring heart, which has grounded him many a time in his darkest, most turbulent moments. “Come here, sweetheart. Do not weep so.”
And you, powerless to resist, take the small step which is needed to bridge the distance between you, allowing your husband to cradle you in his arms, holding you as gently as one would a flower, but firm enough to make it known he wishes not to let go anytime soon.
One of his broad palms settles along your back, slowly smoothing down from the small of your back to the nape of your neck, the other anchored to the back of your head, coaxing you to rest your face along his throat. “Shh, shh, sweetling,” he whispers, turning his head to brush the words against your temple before pressing a soft, lingering kiss against your brow. “I will never let anything befall you or the boy. You know that with certainty.”
You do.
Gods, you do, but the fear that gripped your heart like a vice at the thought of such a grand plan was more powerful than reason and proof. Ormund had always gone above and beyond to ensure you and Daeron were safe at all times, even when he was away, instructing guards to follow you around like shadows and sit unmoving at your doors while you slumbered.
“I-i know, but the peril that awaits him if—”
Another kiss brushing your skin halted your incoming spiral, the feeling of your husband’s warm, rough lips against your temple melting you further into the safe strength of his arms, a haven in itself as you feared for what was to come. “The peril shall not exist. Our boy will have me, you, and more men-at-arms that I can count to keep him away from harm. In that, you must trust. In me, also.”
Your arms, which have hesitated until now, moved to grip at the back of your husband’s tunic as you embraced him tightly, needing a rock to cling to, nuzzling your face into his throat, dampening his skin with your tears as you sobbed quietly. “I trust in you more than life itself,” you croaked, and felt the pleased hum your words elicited from Ormund, as if the thought of you confiding in him so wholeheartedly brought him immense satisfaction. “But not that place, those people, that damned chair.”
“And you are right to do so, my love,” he approved, slowly putting weight from one foot to another, guiding your bodies into a gentle sway from side to side, meant to soothe you further. “Gods know everything the Targaryens touch is defiled beyond words. But we shall change that. Make it our own. A place where we and the boy can build a world fit for us alone.”
It sounded too good to be true, like a fairytale the septas would whisper to babes as they grew older, but the determined tone of your husband’s voice made you want to cling to this fantasy as well.
“Just us and our boy?” You murmured, fingers curling tighter into Ormund’s tunic, as if you could etch the very hope of such notions into his very bones.
“Yes, my sweet,” he whispered, brushing another lingering kiss to your temple, eyes fluttering shut as he held you close, still swaying. “Just us and our boy.”
⌯⌲ SYNOPSIS: Dean tries to prove to himself that he’s not that into you, but it doesn’t quite work out in his favor when he sees you step into the hockey house and those feelings slap him in the face.
⌯⌲ CONTENT: dean tries to make reader jealous. puck bunny mention. yearner!dean. feelings confession.
You’d always had an on again, off again type of relationship with Dean.
It started both of your freshman years at Briar, you’d met him at a party for the incoming freshman. You remembered walking up to him instantly, just naturally gravitating towards him and the good vibe he gave off.
It helped that he was attractive for sure too. Tall and built, perfect smile, messy blond hair that you wanted to run your fingers through, plump, pink lips. He was gorgeous, and he was kind. How could you not gravitate towards him?
You’d fallen into his bed that night, because, how could you not? Dean had a way with words, and you’d let him sweet talk you underneath him that night.
It wasn’t all too bad though, he was consistent with wanting to see you. He had always called you when he was wanting someone to come keep him company.
The bad part of it all though?
You’d caught feelings, and he was insistent that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He claimed over and over that he wasn’t the relationship type.
But you knew he was lying. You knew he wanted you just as badly as you wanted him, so, you waited him out. Pretended you didn’t care.
That fucked with Dean more than anything. Thinking you didn’t care? Yeah, that truly was a blow to his ego, and definitely a stab to his heart, because even though he wanted you to believe he wasn’t ready for a relationship, he wanted you to want him, to chase him.
That’s why he’s walking into the hockey house with one of the puck bunnies tonight. His lame attempt at making you jealous.
But also, really just his big attempt to prove to himself that he didn’t feel anything for you.
“Why the fuck is Dean walking in here with Lauren?” your best friend asks, disgust lacing her tone, her narrowed eyes following Dean and Lauren as they make their way towards Dean’s group of friends.
You laugh, bringing your red solo cup to your lips, biting on the rim before sipping the jack and coke. “Another lame attempt to prove he doesn’t have feelings for me, or to make me jealous, who knows, but he’s hilarious if he thinks a puck bunny will make me jealous.”
Your best friend lets her eyes drift to you, concern etched in her features as she tries to read you for any sign of jealousy.
It’d be a lie if you said seeing Dean with any girl didn’t bother you, but you refused to let him know that. Fuck him and his games.
Grabbing your best friend’s hand, you drag her out to the middle of the living room, which is currently a makeshift dance floor. You down the rest of your jack and coke, setting the red solo cup on the side table and begin swaying your hips to the beat of the music.
“Trust me, I’m fine! Dean will soon enough realize I’m the girl for him. We’ve been at this for two years, he can’t run from his feelings forever, right?”
As if he’d heard you say his name over the loud thump of the music, over the distorted sound of voices conversing around you, you feel Dean’s piercing blue eyes land on you.
Looking up, you make eye contact with him, giving him a sensual wink, biting your lip and continuing to move your hips to the song that was currently playing.
A set of hands wrap around your waist, splaying out on the exposed skin of your stomach. You smile, looking back to find Nolan Beckham, one of Dean’s teammates, standing behind you. His deep green eyes shine, his smile bright as he looks down at you.
“You look good tonight.” Nolan says, pulling you back into him more.
You smile back at him, grinding your ass into him, ignoring the burning stare you know is coming from Dean.
“You don’t look too bad yourself, Becks.”
Nolan opens his mouth to respond, but a pair of hands is ripping him away from you, shoving him back onto the couch that’d been pushed up against the back wall.
“Don’t touch her.” Dean seethes, his chest heaving, the anger evident in his eyes.
You scoff, turning to help Nolan up but Dean grabs you by your elbow, pulling you back.
“Let. Me. Go.” you say, tone firm.
Dean shakes his head, his blue eyes burning into yours.
“Let’s go talk.”
“No.”
Dean’s eyes plead with you, his grip on your elbow not loosening in the slightest.
You sigh. “What is this, Dean? You tell me you don’t want me, you bring Lauren here, then get mad when you see me dancing with Becks? It makes zero sense, you’re giving me whiplash.”
“Look, let’s just… Let’s just go talk about this somewhere that everyone isn’t listening and watching us.”
Your eyes scan the length of the living room and kitchen area, noting every single pair of eyes in the room on you and Dean, including Lauren, the puck bunny who Dean had brought as his date and ditched the second your attention wasn’t on him and you weren’t jealous over her on his arm.
“Fine. You get five minutes Di Laurentis, then I’m coming back out here.”
Dean’s smile comes back, a sigh of relief falling from his lips. He lets his hand slide down your arm until it meets yours, his fingers lacing through your fingers. He drags you up the stairs and all the way down to his bedroom, pulling you inside and shutting the door behind him, locking it.
“No need to lock that, Dean. We’re not doing anything other than talking.”
He smirks, that cocky, knowing smirk. “Right, right, we’ll see about that.”
You roll your eyes, taking a seat on the edge of his bed, legs slightly opened, giving Dean a teasing peak at your lacey white underwear. You knew what you were doing, teasing him with what you wouldn’t let him have tonight…
Or at least, you were going to try and avoid giving into him so easily.
“I know what you’re doing.” Dean groans, taking a step towards you.
You quickly close your legs, pulling them up onto the bed and crossing them beneath you.
“What do you want to talk about, Dean? You’ve wasted two minutes already.”
Dean steps directly in front of you, dropping himself to his knees so he’s face to face with you now. You bite your lip at the sight of him in front of you, on his knees, pupils dilated and that needy as fuck look on his face.
“Wow, who knew I could bring the Dean Di Laurentis to his knees.” you joke, your eyes never leaving his, even when he rolls those pretty blue eyes.
His hands find your thighs, gripping them tightly beneath his palms. “I- What do you need from me? I know bringing Lauren here tonight was a big mistake, but I was hoping to see some sign that you were jealous, and when you didn’t show it and instead let Nolan Beckham put his hands on you, I… it made me realize I really do want you, but I need to know what you want from me? What you need from me. Please.”
You place your hand on his, rubbing your thumb over the tops of his knuckles. “I just need you to stop running from your feelings, Dean. Period. You know how I feel about you, you’ve known for years, yet, you keep running from it. Why?”
He sighs. “I’ve never had a serious relationship, so when I started realizing I had feelings for you, I won’t lie, it scared the shit out of me. But I’d rather be honest about how I feel and have you as mine, than keep running and having to deal with seeing you let other men touch you. It kills me to see that.”
Your eyes soften. You knew Dean had problems showing his heart, had problems opening up to girls, you were truly the only female that he’d slept with and kept around.
That’s how you knew he liked you more than just sex. It wasn’t just sexual attraction and the fact that you knew his body and he knew yours so well that he kept you around. It was more, and you’d always known it, now, Dean was admitting it.
“What’re you saying, Dean?” you say, a teasing tone in your words. “You saying you like me, like me?”
Dean huffs out a laugh, his eyes rolling again. “I’m saying I like you, like you, brat.”
You laugh at that. You were a brat, and you wouldn’t apologize for it. Dean made you wait on this long enough, it was only right you teased him about it and made him work for the relationship you know is inevitable.
“Awww, Dean, I’m flattered. I kinda, sorta like you too.”
Dean leans forward, his lips chasing yours, but you turn your head, dodging his kiss.
“Not so fast, buddy.”
Eye brows furrowed, Dean frowns. “What? Did I fuck this up running from how I felt too long?”
You laugh, a full on belly laugh that makes your sides hurt. Dean couldn’t fuck up his chances. Even if the two of you played this cat and mouse chase game together for years, you’d still give into him when he was ready. Did that make you slightly pathetic over him? Maybe. But you didn’t care. You knew this thing would come to a head and you’d be together.
“No, I just… If we give this thing a chance, I need to know you’re serious, Dean.”
Dean’s hands move to the back of your head, holding tightly as he leans in and kisses you hard. His lips move quickly against yours, his tongue sweeping against yours before he gently kisses your lips and pulls back, those pretty eyes on yours again. “Listen, I’m more serious than I’ve ever been. I’ve wanted you for about a year and a half now, and I don’t think I can go another second without you,” his eyes flick down to your lips, nostrils flaring when he sees your bottom one tucked between your teeth. His thumb gently runs across your mouth, pulling your lip from between your teeth. “So, what do you say? Give the desperate hockey player a shot?”
You roll your eyes at him calling himself desperate, but deep down, you know he is. Dean is a lowkey yearner and lover boy, and you truly love that about him.
“Fine, I’ll give it a shot Mr. Desperate Defenseman.”
The smile on his lips grows, his eyes shining as he lets out a relieved breath. “Thank God, because I was hyping myself up to beg some more, but you folded just as quickly as I did earlier after seeing Nolan with his hands on you.”
Kissing his lips again, you push him back, standing from his bed and helping him up off his knees. “Shut up, Dean, or I’ll take it back.”
His hand laces with yours, dragging you toward his bedroom door. He stops dead in his tracks, free hand wrapped around the knob but the burning question that’s been lingering in the air finally slips from his lips.
“So, you’ll be my girlfriend right? That’s what we meant by that?”
You smile a teasing smile. “Dean, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
“Uh, duh. So will you? Be my girlfriend?”
A very satisfied smile on your lips, you agree, but not without teasing him a little more as you do. “I mean… I guess, you’re not too bad looking, pretty good in bed, hot as fuck in your hockey uniform… I think I can deal with you as my boyfriend.”
“Oh fuck you.” Dean groans, unlacing your hands and slinging his arm over your shoulder.
He pulls the door open, dragging you to the stairs and stopping at the top so he can announce very loudly. “She said yes, boys! My girl is officially my girl!”
• Sometimes the people who feel the most "familiar" aren't the easiest, they're simply activating parts of you that have been waiting to be seen.
• Strong Saturn contacts can feel heavy at first, but they often reveal who stays when life isn't romantic anymore.
• Jupiter aspects rarely solve every problem, they simply make it easier to believe the relationship is worth growing through.
• Moon contacts are usually noticed in the quiet moments like shared silence, comforting routines, and feeling emotionally understood without explaining everything.
• Venus-Mars chemistry can be immediate, but lasting attraction usually needs emotional safety as much as physical magnetism.
• Mercury harmony is underrated. Feeling heard is one of the most intimate forms of compatibility.
• Pluto doesn't always look like obsession, it can look like never seeing yourself the same way after meeting someone.
• Not every soulmate stays forever. Some arrive to redirect your life, not to become your destination.
• Healthy synastry doesn't mean "never arguing." It means both people feel safe enough to repair after conflict.
• The strongest relationships often feel like both peace and growth, not one at the expense of the other.
✧ Synastry describes potential dynamics, not destiny. People always matter more than the chart.
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People often ask if synastry can tell you whether two people are "meant to be." I don't think that's what synastry is trying to do. Instead, it reveals how two people experience each other, how they communicate, where they feel safe, what they awaken in one another, and why certain connections stay with us long after they've ended. Some people enter your life quietly, while others rearrange entire parts of your heart. Synastry simply helps explain why.
When one person's Sun touches another person's Moon, there is often a beautiful sense of emotional recognition. The Sun person naturally brings warmth, direction, and confidence to the Moon person, while the Moon person offers emotional understanding that makes the Sun feel deeply accepted. Many couples with this connection describe feeling "at home" with each other, even if they've only known each other for a short time.
Strong Moon-Moon compatibility creates a relationship where emotions don't need constant explanation. Both people instinctively understand each other's emotional rhythms, making vulnerability feel less frightening. This doesn't mean there will never be disagreements, but there is often an unspoken willingness to comfort rather than judge.
When Venus meets Mars, attraction rarely feels ordinary. It's the lingering eye contact, the conversations that somehow become flirtatious without trying, and the excitement of simply being around each other. This aspect often creates undeniable chemistry, but lasting relationships still depend on mutual respect, communication, and emotional compatibility beyond physical attraction.
Venus-Venus connections often make love feel easy in the little things. Similar tastes, shared values, affectionate habits, and compatible ways of expressing love create a relationship that feels naturally harmonious. It becomes easier to understand what makes the other person feel appreciated because love is spoken in a similar language.
One of my favorite synastry placements is Venus-Jupiter because it fills relationships with warmth, encouragement, and generosity. The Jupiter person often believes in the Venus person even during moments of self-doubt, while the Venus person reminds Jupiter that kindness is one of life's greatest blessings. Together, they often inspire one another to grow instead of shrink.
Mercury connections determine whether two people can truly understand each other. Strong Mercury aspects create conversations that never seem to run out, inside jokes that last for years, and the feeling that your thoughts are welcomed rather than dismissed. Emotional compatibility is important, but being able to talk through misunderstandings is often what keeps relationships alive.
Many people fear Saturn in synastry, yet Saturn isn't always the villain it's made out to be. Saturn asks for patience, accountability, consistency, and commitment. It slows relationships down so they can be built on something stronger than excitement alone. While Saturn aspects can feel heavy at times, they often appear in relationships that leave lasting impressions because they teach responsibility alongside love.
Then there's Pluto, the planet that rarely believes in casual encounters. Pluto contacts can feel magnetic, transformative, and emotionally consuming. They often bring hidden fears, insecurities, desires, and wounds to the surface, not to punish us, but to reveal the parts of ourselves that are ready to change. These are often the relationships people remember for years because they leave both individuals profoundly different.
Neptune wraps relationships in dreams, compassion, creativity, and idealism. It creates the feeling that you've known someone forever or that they somehow understand the parts of you no one else notices. Yet Neptune also reminds us that love needs honesty as much as romance, because idealizing someone can sometimes prevent us from seeing them clearly.
Finally, Jupiter reminds us that healthy love should expand your world rather than make it smaller. Whether through laughter, encouragement, education, travel, shared beliefs, or unwavering support, Jupiter teaches that the right relationships help you become more of yourself, not less.
Perhaps that's what beautiful synastry really is. It isn't about finding a flawless chart or collecting perfect aspects. It's about discovering someone whose energy encourages growth, whose presence feels familiar, and whose soul meets yours with curiosity instead of judgment. Astrology can describe the connection between two people, but the way they choose to love each other will always be the most powerful aspect of all.
☾ Every chart tells a different love story. No two are ever written the same.
(Please excuse the poor editing I did this on my phone)
1) What should I be focusing on?
What needs to be done that I am not/cannot seem to focus on? What is my goal? What should I be doing?
2) What am I thinking about instead?
What's distracting me? What is keeping my attention away from what I need to do?
3) Why is it distracting me?
Extra cards optional, pull as many as you need to figure out the root of the problem
4) How do I refocus?
What do I do to get rid of this block? How do I move past the distraction? How do I solve the root issue of the distraction? Again, pull as many as you need.
Illuminate My Path
A sunshine inspired tarot spread
This tarot spread has been inspired by the Sunshine that has been gracing my home in recent weeks; all is aglow and all in bright, and thus it feels right to utilise this Sunshine to shed some light onto ourselves and see where we are headed.
1. The Ground: Just where is your current path based? In what, is your foundation; your beginning; your inspiration? What drives you? Is it growth? Learning? Spirituality? This card will tell you.
2. The Sky: Where will this path take you? You are headed up and away, but where is up and away? What will following this path lead you towards? Fulfillment, hurt, or something else entirely,…
3. The 1st Branch (physical): Paths often wind and twist and branch off into new and interesting places - where else will this path lead to? What opportunities that you did not expect will reveal themselves to you should you continue on this journey?
4. The 2nd Branch (emotional): This path may open up or make you vulnerable to new emotions and feelings; how does this path make you feel and how can you deal with these emotions?
mr. handyman. literally every single thing that falls apart in your life, logan’s there to fix it. kitchen cabinets coming loose? great, he’s fixing them. doors squeaky? he’s already on it. something wrong with your car? perfect—he’s taking his shirt off (for your eye candy) and getting to work. and he’s not one of those sexist assholes who thinks men have to fix things while women just stand there and yelp when things fall apart. he actually makes a habit of fixing things with you there, showing you how to do it so next time you can handle it yourself in case he’s not around.
this sweet, sweet man with those pretty doe eyes cannot stay mad at you for more than a day. if he has to go to sleep without fixing things with you, he feels like he might actually die. he just can’t do it. so when you two argue, like normal couples do, he always gives you both time to cool down before coming back to you to offer your favorite takeout, lots of kisses and cuddles, a movie night, and his heart practically in his hands just so you could forgive him. anything. he’ll do anything. just don’t stay mad at him.
as much as he’s a homebody, he actually loves going out—especially with you. restaurants, new cafés, movie theaters, hiking spots, even loud busy bars he’s not usually a fan off. and he’s always patient, giving you all the time you need to get ready without rushing you. and when you’re finally done and looking pretty, he’ll have you leave a bright lipstick kiss on his jaw, visible for everyone to see he’s taken, before you head out together. his favorite part about this whole thing is walking with your hands intertwined and sharing food.
again, he’s big on acts of service. waking up a little earlier to make you breakfast because you’re too lazy to make something yourself and usually skip it. taking the time to draw you a bath after a long day. making your drinks exactly how you like them—no ice, because you hate the watery taste when it melts, buying you things you’ve run out of, whether it’s your favorite snacks or products. taking your makeup off for you when you’re too tired. giving you massages, filling your gas tank—he’s all about it.
he’s so starved for you, so don’t expect him to leave you alone when you’re both home with nothing to do. he constantly has you laying on top of him, just lazing the day away. cooking simple meals together, which he’s surprisingly good at. he believes staying practically glued to you the entire time is good for his mental health and it’d be cruel to deny him.
this man figured out your weakness long before you even started dating that you can never keep your hands to yourself when he’s sweaty, fresh out of the gym. so when you move in together, he starts timing it, leaving the gym just a little after you get home. the second he walks through the door, your eyes snap to him, the sight of him making your knees weak, heat pooling in all the right places. and you don’t even try to fight it. you just walk up to him, grab him, and kiss him deep, fully intending to have those sweaty, ripped biceps wrapped around you in a tight headlock.
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