And after a while you just stop. You stop watering your plants. You stop watching netflix. You stop reading. You stop replying to your friends as fast as you used to. You stop buying yourself nice things. You stop putting an effort into how you look. You stop taking care of yourself like you used to. You stop sleeping. You stop eating healthy foods. You stop petting your dog. You stop socializing.
You stop with everything. You find yourself sitting in your room for hours on end, without doing a single thing. Days feel like years. And you think you can’t do it for much longer.
My therapist told me that you don’t only spiral down. You can spiral up again. So maybe one day
You water your plants for the first time in a while. Surprisingly they’re not dead yet. You remember a movie that you really enjoy and you find the energy to watch it. You feel better afterwards. Maybe you still can’t find the motivation to reply to your friends but you buy yourself a nice scented candle and read your book. You take a nice long shower and you feel refreshed, so you put on an outfit you find cool. Then after what seems like forever, you get a good night of sleep. You wake up with more energy than usual so you play with your dog. Then you cook that healthy meal you really enjoy. You reach out to a friend.
You start remembering what brought you joy. You start again with the little things. You look back on the days that have passed and feel relieved they’re over.
Remember, you don’t just spiral down. You spiral up as well, even if it takes more effort to get started.
