Emmeloowhoo Doesn't Know How to Tumbl

Not to screenshot my own tweets on main but yall need to see this too.

Bonus:

The basic premise is that it is “when an individual, communicating with other individuals, unknowingly assumes that the others have the background to understand.” Or in other words, once you learn something, you can’t at all remember what it was like to not have that knowledge or context anymore. It creates gulfs between people who have different knowledge bases who are communicating.

This has come up for me in life SO MUCH around topics of abuse, boundaries, consent, and relationship dynamics. (All types of relationships, not just romantic.) I’ve read about and studied and dissected these things to death so it’s second nature for me to talk about it. Then, I will think that a friend and I have the same values of what’s abusive or acceptable.......but then later I learn that what they meant is totallyyyyy different than me.

Or when I bump into people who truly think that thin = healthy or who don’t understand what being trans is at even the most basic level. I’m like “Jesus this asshole is hopeless” and I no longer remember what it was like back when I very FIRST learned these concepts.

It’s one thing if someone is willfully ignorant or a proud bigot. But if someone is TRULY learning something new, they need the super super basics patiently available to them so they can get the knowledge you have...and then THAT could become a bridge between you.

One time I was having a lazy argument about evolution with a Jehova's Witness. I just threw out my basic talking points, basically assuming that I was dealing with an educated but stubborn person. Turns out, she had NO IDEA what the actual details of evolution are. She had zero understanding of mutations or even how chromosomes work. Once I backed up and gave her a mini lecture on evolution and she actually understood it, her mind was blown. She ended up having a serious crisis of faith and I still wonder how that went for her in the end.

Since then if someone is arguing a bad point very passionately, I try to figure out where the disconnect in information is. And sometimes I'm the one with wrong information and I learn something new! But when I'm right I try to be more patient and introduce the new information as clearly and neutrally as possible. And you know what? A lot of times it works wonderfully and I have a new ally or friend. Sometimes not, but at that point it isn't on me for just assuming someone has all the information I do when they don't.

Like I get that so often people can be close minded and aren’t actually acting in good faith to listen or be open to changing views at all. But sometimes it’s not that.......there’s actually a serious case of the curse of knowledge. Major knowledge gaps are a challenge but if they can be identified and navigated around, great shit can happen.