Life Is A One Time Offer

We'll see how long this last. Taking it minute by minute.

“I didn’t know what to call it, what was happening between us, but I liked it. It felt silly and fragile and good.”

“Distance doesn’t separate people. Silence does.”

I just want to yell so many good things about Britney Spears. Look at this parenting right here; rather than just twist their arms and tell the ‘smile or no McFlurry on the drive home’ she’s checking if her little boys are comfortable with the cameras and attention and if not, no problem baby boy, you go chill. And I have no problem with her staying to get more pictures, especially not when her other adorable kid wants to.  I mean, it’s her job up to a point. And we all know for a fact she probably watched the film with both the little bugs in her lap anyway. 

people can say what they want about her supposed meltdown, but frankly, that entire ‘episode’ always made perfect sense to me. she and i are of an age, and no matter how young or old i was, i always understood perfectly why she did it, and thought it was utter bullshit that a court could order what they did, instead of reprimanding the many, many people that felt so entitled to her that they drove her to extremes just to get 5 seconds of peace.

She got a court order because she was, by her own admission, raising her kids like her mother raised her. The judge sent her to therapy and parenting classes to work out all of the horrible stage-mother bullshit she had to live through. I mean, she thought it was normal to give her kids cough syrup and whiskey so they’d sleep, because it’s what her mother gave her to knock her out when she got rowdy.

me: can you tuck me in

“Don’t kill yourself today because your Netflix free trial still has a week left. Don’t kill yourself today because no one else will finish off the chicken in the fridge. Don’t kill yourself today because I know for a fact Starbucks is introducing a new frappachino sometime next month. Yes, your mother will miss you. Yes, your bully will make a sappy facebook post about what a wonderful person you were. Yes, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but you know that. You’ve known that. Anyone and everyone has been shoving that down your throat since you first learned what the word “suicide” meant. Those slogans might have lost their meaning but anything that keeps you alive is worth saying. So don’t kill yourself until you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time. Don’t kill yourself until Doctor Who is finally canceled. Don’t kill yourself until you tell someone your best pasta recipe. Don’t kill yourself because I will keep coming up with more reasons and I need you to hear all of them. Don’t kill yourself. I love you. You’re important. It’s a bad day not a bad life. There is more to this. The world will keep spinning on its axis without you but think of all the sunrises you’ll miss. Think of all the tears you’ll never get to shed. Think of all the celebrity twitter fights. All the puppies and goldfish Think of all the sunflowers and frozen yogurt flavors. I know this sounds pointless. When you’re sitting in front of everything deadly you own and revising your goodbyes there will be too much darkness to see anything else, but this is not about seeing anything else. This is about turning off the lights. This is about finding the bedsheets instead of the noose. This is about giving yourself just one more day. Even if it takes 10,000 of those “one more mornings” before you get to “I can’t wait for tomorrow”. This is about staying alive because it’s pumpkin season. This is about staying alive because you never really learned how to make gnocchi. This is about staying alive because the future is coming and it is ready for you. I don’t need you to see it. I just need you to believe that you can make it until then.”

WE DO NOT DECIDE THE SALES. WE CAN’T CHANGE THE SALES BECAUSE YOU’RE UNHAPPY. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM SPEAK TO THE MANAGER OR CALL CORPORATE. NOT US, THE SIMPLE CASHIERS, WHO ARE JUST THE ONES SCANNING YOUR STUFF.

“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.”