Just a very lost Muse trying to find her way…..

Over the past several months, I’ve interacted with a wide range of people across different parts of the community. I’ve observed a recurring pattern among some gainers, especially women/femme/female gainers, feedees, and self-described hedonists on social media. In my experience, many use these platforms mainly for monetization rather than for community building, friendship, discussion, or shared interests.

I’ve also experienced situations where women/female/femme (or those presenting as such) started conversations, engaged normally for a while, then eventually shifted the interaction toward requests for money. In some cases, these requests became persistent enough to feel uncomfortable or inappropriate.

I completely understand that many people are struggling financially right now. The economy has been tough for many of us, including myself. I lost my job a year ago and am desperately trying to recover. I also recognize that creating, selling, and monetizing content on social media are valid choices people are free to make.

What I’m trying to understand is this:

Is my experience representative of a broader trend, or has luck simply been against me?

Why does monetization seem so common in this part of the feedism community compared to other areas?

Has social media changed this community's culture over time?

For those who identify as female/women/femme gainers, feedees, or hedonists, do you still feel a strong interest in genuine connection, friendship, and community, or has the landscape shifted significantly?

Funny how people suddenly become experts at provoking, deflecting, nitpicking, and playing victim the second they realize they can’t defend what they actually said or did. 👀💅

When someone knows they’re wrong, they stop seeking resolution and start seeking a reaction.

They’ll poke, push, bait, twist your words, act petty, and keep escalating because they want you emotional enough to distract from their insecurities and fragile egos.

Don’t give them the satisfaction.

The second you snap and respond, they’ll cling to your reaction and pretend that was the problem all along. That’s the game. Always has been.

Some people would rather paint you in an image they can control for reacting than admit they were wrong in the first place.

Stay calm. Stay observant. Stay detached.

Nothing frustrates manipulative people more than realizing they can no longer control your emotions.

I’ve observed this happening too often among and towards FAs/Encouragers and Gainers/Feedees. I understand the argument that posting sexual content can lead to objectification, but for some, it is genuinely a way to practice self-love and expression. We need to do a better job of understanding social nuance and how to “read the room”.

I do not understand the harassment that happens in this community, especially with anonymous ask messages. I’ve been lucky not to experience too much myself, but I do see it happening around me.

Maybe this should be my question of the week because I am genuinely want to understand it.

Thank you to my mom, all my second moms throughout my life, my mom friends, fur moms, friend's moms, band moms, madres, teachers who get called mom, women who aren't moms but love other people's children as their own, moms on Tumblr

While I know I'm not the sexiest, youngest, thinnest, or hottest, I occasionally catch a glimpse of myself and think I look pretty. I try to cherish those rare moments when I notice them.

I've been having fun creating these FA memes lately 🤭

Whenever someone begins to look swollen, orb like, blobish, that’s when they’ve crossed over.

So two individuals could be the same height and weight, but I could consider one to be supersized and the other fat.

That's a great point! I really appreciate you sharing your perspective, and I personally agree with you. Thanks so much for sharing!

If you’ve been scrolling for a while trying to find a feedism/hedonistic space that actually feels safe, I get it. Women supporting women is a crucial aspect of this kink, even in strictly platonic contexts.

A lot of communities claim to be welcoming, but end up feeling superficial, inconsistent, thirsty, or just… off.

If you’ve ever felt like:

* People aren’t really connecting; they’re just passing through

*Boundaries aren’t always clear or respected

*It’s hard to find a space where you can truly relax and be yourself

You’re definitely not alone in that 🤗

That’s a big part of why Hang Gang exists.

We’re a 21+ Telegram community that’s been going strong for nearly four years. What started in the feedism community has expanded into something much broader (Hedonist, Encouragers, Maintainers, Admirers, and more), focused on connection, respect, and authentic interaction. All religions, orientations, and genders are welcome!

This is a space where:

* People show up and engage

* Support feels genuine, not performative

* Different identities and experiences are respected

*Conversations actually move forward

*We’re intentional about who joins; not to exclude anyone unfairly, but to preserve the kind of environment we’ve built together

We also have various channels, so there’s a place for different kinds of interaction, depending on your mood:

*Main chat for everyday conversation and connection

*Creative spaces like art and writing

*A music-sharing channel

*A spot for memes and lighter content

*Food and recipe sharing (with lots of enthusiasm🤭)

*Spaces for pets, plants, and personal interests

*Support channels for advice, resources, and community help

*An 18+ space for more adult conversations, clearly separated and opt-in

Everything has its place, helping to keep things organized while still feeling natural and easy to engage with

At the end of the day, this is just a group of people who genuinely enjoy being around each other: talking, laughing, supporting, and building something lasting.

No pressure, no expectations to be anything other than yourself.