Just a very lost Muse trying to find her way…..

Just let me play with your chub while we cuddle

Or pop a cupcake in your mouth at dinner

Maybe we could just get in bed and watch movies while snacking for hours

Or I could even just hug you and feel how soft you are while we’re pressed against each other.

Over the past several months, I’ve interacted with a wide range of people across different parts of the community. I’ve observed a recurring pattern among some gainers, especially women/femme/female gainers, feedees, and self-described hedonists on social media. In my experience, many use these platforms mainly for monetization rather than for community building, friendship, discussion, or shared interests.

I’ve also experienced situations where women/female/femme (or those presenting as such) started conversations, engaged normally for a while, then eventually shifted the interaction toward requests for money. In some cases, these requests became persistent enough to feel uncomfortable or inappropriate.

I completely understand that many people are struggling financially right now. The economy has been tough for many of us, including myself. I lost my job a year ago and am desperately trying to recover. I also recognize that creating, selling, and monetizing content on social media are valid choices people are free to make.

What I’m trying to understand is this:

Is my experience representative of a broader trend, or has luck simply been against me?

Why does monetization seem so common in this part of the feedism community compared to other areas?

Has social media changed this community's culture over time?

For those who identify as female/women/femme gainers, feedees, or hedonists, do you still feel a strong interest in genuine connection, friendship, and community, or has the landscape shifted significantly?

It is also a waste of time too, you can get to know the person while you are dating her or him. Then like in a month, you can decide to go see your date.

BUT NOOO its too compliated appearently!

And I personally have been chubby chasing since 2024 and landed 2 online dates, but never got to see any of them because they are mentally ill and cant be fixed. I also got to chat with a few of them but they completely ignore the message.

So I as much I wanna force the girl I like to date me, I unforuntly cant because you cant force love on a person and everyone has a preference.

So the core problems that can be fixed is sex labor & LGBTQ ideals. Just petition to ban them.

You have no idea how sick of this shit I am.

I think you’ve misunderstood what I was actually asking, and I want to clarify that because this response is concerning for several reasons.

My question wasn’t about banning OnlyFans, Feabie, feedism, LGBTQ people, sex workers, or anyone else’s existence. It was about understanding a social dynamic I’ve repeatedly encountered: people initiating conversations under the guise of friendship or community connection and then quickly turning those interactions into requests for money or paid content.

Those are two completely different discussions.

It’s clear from your post that you’re carrying a lot of frustration, loneliness, and disappointment from your own experiences with dating. I genuinely empathize with that. Rejection hurts. Being lonely hurts. Feeling ignored hurts. Most people have experienced some version of that at one point or another.

However, blaming entire groups of people for those feelings isn’t fair, and it doesn’t address the actual problem. Women are not responsible for your loneliness. LGBTQ people are not responsible for your loneliness. Sex workers are not responsible for your loneliness. Feedism communities are not responsible for your loneliness.

Every individual has the right to choose who they date, who they talk to, and what kind of relationships they want. Nobody owes another person friendship, romance, attention, or a date.

What concerns me most is the statement that you “want to force the girl you like to date you.” I understand that you immediately followed it by acknowledging that you can’t force someone to love you, which is true. But even framing it that way suggests a mindset that may be contributing to some of the difficulties you’re experiencing.

Healthy relationships aren’t built through pressure, entitlement, or trying to change society until someone says yes. They’re built through mutual interest, respect, compatibility, and consent.

I genuinely hope you find the connection you’re looking for. Five years of loneliness can take a toll on anyone. But the answer isn’t banning people, blaming communities, or assuming entire groups are broken. The answer is focusing on building healthy connections, developing friendships, improving communication skills, and recognizing that other people have the same right to choose as you do.